What Are Your Favorite Movie Dialouges...

[kayo]

Here's some examples to get started....Search the IMDB database and under any entry there is a "memorable quotes" tab.

Memorable Quotes from

Various Pink Panther movies *the sellers days*(1976)

after Clouseau accidentally reduces a piano to a pile of splinters

Mrs. Leverlilly: You've ruined that piano!

Clouseau: What is the price of one piano compared to the terrible crime that's been committed here.

Mrs. Leverlilly: But that's a priceless Steinway!

Clouseau: Not anymore!

Clouseau: Does your dog bite?

Hotel Clerk: No.

Clouseau: [bowing down to pet the dog] Nice doggie.

[Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand]

Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!

Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.

Clouseau: Now then, what do we know? One, that Professor Fassbinder and his daughter have been kidnapped. Two, that someone has kidnapped them. Three, that my hand is on fire

Clouseau: Hello Mr Commissioner. How are Mrs Commissioner and the little Commissioners?

Princess Dala: If I were my father, I'd have you tortured.

Sir Charles Lytton: No. If you were your father, I doubt very much if I would have kissed you.

Clouseau: I arrest you, Sir Charles Phantom, the notorious pink Lytton.

Clouseau: Does Lady Lytton have a swimming pewl?

Hotel Concierge: A swimming pewl?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [at Lytton Manor in Nice, while working undercover as a telephone repairman, Clouseau has already annihilated the Lyttons' doorbell!] ... I am from the Nice Telephone Company; there is some trouble with your phone.

Lytton Valet: ...I don't think there's any trouble with the telephones here.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I know when there is a trouble, and when there is not a trouble, and you may rest assured that there is a trouble.

Lytton Valet: Since when?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Since it was reported.

And from a shot in the dark 1964

Clouseau: And I submit, Inspector Ballon, that you arrived home, found Miguel with Maria Gambrelli, and killed him in a rit of fealous jage!

Dreyfus: François would you please call for a doctor.

Françios: Are you ill?

Dreyfus: I seem to have stabbed myself with the letter opener.

And especially for one of our Dear Users

President Merkin Muffley: You're talking about mass murder, General, not war!

General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks

President Merkin Muffley: Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room

the President calls the Soviet Premier

President Merkin Muffley: [to Kissoff] Hello?... Ah... I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?... Oh-ho, that's much better... yeah... huh... yes... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri... Clear and plain and coming through fine... I'm coming through fine, too, eh?... Good, then... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine... Good... Well, it's good that you're fine and... and I'm fine... I agree with you, it's great to be fine... a-ha-ha-ha-ha... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb... The *Bomb*, Dmitri... The *hydrogen* bomb!... Well now, what happened is... ah... one of our base commanders, he had a sort of... well, he went a little funny in the head... you know... just a little... funny. And, ah... he went and did a silly thing... Well, I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes... to attack your country... Ah... Well, let me finish, Dmitri... Let me finish, Dmitri... Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?... Can you *imagine* how I feel about it, Dmitri?... Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?... *Of course* I like to speak to you!... *Of course* I like to say hello!... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened... It's a *friendly* call. Of course it's a friendly call... Listen, if it wasn't friendly... you probably wouldn't have even got it... They will *not* reach their targets for at least another hour... I am... I am positive, Dmitri... Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick... Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes... Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we're unable to recall the planes, then... I'd say that, ah... well, ah... we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri... I know they're our boys... All right, well listen now. Who should we call?... *Who* should we call, Dmitri? The... wha-whe, the People... you, sorry, you faded away there... The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters... Where is that, Dmitri?... In Omsk... Right... Yes... Oh, you'll call them first, will you?... Uh-huh... Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri?... Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk information... Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm... I'm sorry, too, Dmitri... I'm very sorry... *All right*, you're sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well... I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don't say that you're more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are... So we're both sorry, all right?... All right.

from Casino Royale James Bond Spoof

Jimmy Bond: You can't shoot me! I have a very low threshold of death. My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.

James Bond: What are you going to do to me?

Le Chiffre: Physically, nothing, Mr. Bond.

James Bond: Ah, so you're going to nothing me to death.

Evelyn Tremble: Mr. Mathis, there's something that's been worrying me...

Inspector Mathis: Yes?

Evelyn Tremble: Well, you're a French police inspector, yet you speak with a Scots accent.

Inspector Mathis: Aye, it worries me, too

That'll do for today

What Are your Favourites??

Edited June 26, 2005 by kayo

[kayo]

c'mon folks,

I'm asking for dialogues here, not Movie Quotes.

Make me laugh...make me cry... do something!!

[Totster]

Every dialogue in the film "Pulp Fiction"... that has got to be the king of dialogues..

totster

[tutsiwarrior]

I concurr withthe Pulp Fiction observation...

Vincent to Jules: Would you give a guy a foot massage?

Jules to Vincent: You bettah look out, I'm gettin' a bit pissed off here...

later...

Marcelus to the redneck rapist Zed who has just lost his goods with a shot gun blast: ah's gonna get mideveal on yo' ass...

Zed: (whimpering and protecting what was left of his goods) mmmgh, mmmgh...

(you wanted a dialog...)

[Spee]

What Are your Favourites??

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I forget the movie (A Night At The Opera?), but there's a scene where Groucho Marx is dancing cheek to cheek with lady of his pursuits.

The lady says "Closer .... closer."

Groucho retorts "If I get any closer, I'll be behind you!"

Killer stuff that ....

[dr_strangelove]

Phone call in Dr Strangelove....

Drill Sergeant Hartmans intro in Full Metal Jacket...

[gisele]

"Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead" has wonderful dialogue.

(play and movie)

Tom Stoppard creates amazingly creative scripts.

[sadman]

"Well what are you looking at?"

"A tin star with a drunk pinned to it", Dean Martin and John Wayne in Rio Bravo (I think)

[kayo]

I concurr withthe Pulp Fiction observation...

cue excrutiatingly agonising dialogue quote

(you wanted a dialog...)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Drill Sergeant Hartmans intro in Full Metal Jacket...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fukcing beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?

Memorable Quotes from

Full Metal Jacket (1987)

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Who said that? Who the fukc said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fukcing godmother said it. Out-fukcing-standing. I will PT you all until you fukcing die. I'll PT you until your &lt;deleted&gt; are sucking buttermilk.

[Gunnery Sgt. Hartman grabs Pvt. Cowboy by the shirt]

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Was it you, you scroungy little fukc, huh?

Private Cowboy: Sir, no Sir! *snip*

Continue reading this at Full Metal Jacket Quotes.... The whole script is classic. It's practically all here!

[Totster]

I concurr withthe Pulp Fiction observation...

Vincent to Jules: Would you give a guy a foot massage?

Jules to Vincent: You bettah look out, I'm gettin' a bit pissed off here...

later...

Marcelus to the redneck rapist Zed who has just lost his goods with a shot gun blast: ah's gonna get mideveal on yo' ass...

Zed: (whimpering and protecting what was left of his goods) mmmgh, mmmgh...

(you wanted a dialog...)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Jules: Whoa... whoa... whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same ######in' thing.

Vincent: Not the same thing, the same ballpark.

Jules: It ain't no ######in' ballpark either. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holyiest of holies, ain't the same ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same ######in' sport. Foot massages don't mean shit.

Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?

Jules: Don't be tellin' me about foot massages - I'm the foot ######in' master.

Vincent: Given a lot of 'em?

Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be tickling or nothin'.

Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?

Jules: ###### you.

Vincent: You give them a lot?

Jules: ###### you.

Vincent: You know, I'm getting kinda tired, I could use a foot massage.

Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' pissed.

Now that's dialogue...

some more.. ok

Pumpkin: The way it is now, you're taking the same risk as when you rob a bank. You take more of a risk, banks are easier. You don't even need a gun in a federal bank. I mean, they're insured, why should they give a ######? I heard of this one guy, walks into a bank with a portable phone. He gives the phone to the teller, a guy on the other end of the line says, we've got this guy's little girl, if you don't give him all your money, we're gonna kill her.

Yolanda: Did it work?

Pumpkin: ######ing-A right, it worked. That's what I'm saying. Knucklehead walks into a bank with a telephone! Not a pistol, not a shotgun, but a ######ing phone. Cleans the place out, doesn't even lift a ######ing finger.

Yolanda: Did they hurt the little girl?

Pumpkin: I don't know, there probably never was a little girl in the first place. The point of the story isn't the little girl, the point of the story is, they robbed a bank with a telephone.

Yolanda: You want to rob banks?

Pumpkin: I'm not saying I want to rob banks, I'm just illustrating that if we did, it'd be easier than what we've been doing.

Yolanda: No more liquor stores?

Pumpkin: What have we been talking about? Yeah, no more liquor stores. Besides, it ain't the giggle it used to be. Too many foreigners own liquor stores these days. Vietnamese, Koreans, they don't even speak ######ing English. You tell them, empty out the register, they don't know what the ###### you're talking about. They make it too personal, one of these gook ######ers is gonna make us kill him.

Yolanda: I'm not gonna kill anybody.

Pumpkin: I don't want to kill anybody either. But they'll probably put us in a situation where it's us or them. And if it's not the gooks, it's these old ######ing Jews who've owned the store for fifteen ######ing generations, you've got Grampa Irving sitting behind the counter with a ######ing Magnum in his hand. Try walking into one of those places with nothing but a phone, see how far you get.

Yolanda: This place? A coffee shop?

Pumpkin: Why not? Nobody ever robs restaurants. Bars, liquor stores, gas stations... you get your head blown off sticking up one of them. Restaurants on the other hand, you catch with their pants down. They're not expecting to get robbed. Not as expectant anyway.

Yolanda: I bet you could cut down on the hero factor in a place like this.

Pumpkin: Right, just like banks, these places are insured. Manager? He don't give a ######. He just wants to get you out the door before you start plugging the diners. Waitresses? ######ing forget it! No way they're taking a bullet for the register. Busboys? Some wetback getting paid a dollar-fifty an hour, really give a ###### you're stealing from the owner? See, I got the idea, last liquor store we held up, all the customers kept coming in?

Yolanda: Yeah.

Pumpkin: And you got the idea of taking their wallets. Now that was a good idea.

Yolanda: Thank you.

Pumpkin: Made more from the wallets than we did from the register.

Yolanda: Yes, we did.

Pumpkin: A lot of customers come into a restaurant.

Yolanda: A lot of wallets.

Pumpkin: Pretty smart, eh?

Yolanda: Pretty smart.

totster

[WhiteShiva]

From the "Blues Brothers"

The blues brothers in the bluesmobile, after Elwood spots a police car coming up behind them:

Elwood: Sh*t.

Jake: What?

Elwood: Rollers.

Jake: No.

Elwood: Yeah.

Jake: Sh*t.

A classic indeed!

[daleyboy]

My all time favourite is

i love the smell of napalm in the morning

Apocolypse now

[kreon]

" the godfather"

give them an offer they can't refuse!

"So the next day, my father went to see him; only this time with Luca Brasi. An' within an hour, he signed a release, for a certified check for $1000. [Kay: "How'd he do that?"] My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse. [Kay: "What was that?"] Luca Brasi held a gun to his head and my father assured him that either his brains, or his signature, would be on the contract. That's a true story. That's my family, Kay, it's not me."

[dr_strangelove]

Annie Hall.... few lines...

ALVY : The universe is expanding.

DOCTOR The universe is expanding?

ALVY : Well, the universe is everything, and if

it's expanding, someday it will break apart

and that would be the end of everything!

ALVY :Hey, you are in a bad mood. You-you-

you must be getting your period.

ANNIE : I'm not getting my period. Jesus, every

time anything out of the ordinary happens,

you think that I'm getting my period!

ALVY : A li-little louder. I think one of them

may have missed it!

[kayo]

Jules: Whoa... whoa... whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same ######in' thing.

Vincent: Not the same thing, the same ballpark....

...

...

Now that's dialogue...

some more.. ok

Pumpkin: The way it is now, you're taking the same risk as when you rob a bank. You take more of a risk, banks are easier. You don't even need a gun in a federal bank. I mean, they're insured, why should they give a ######? I heard of this one guy, walks into a bank with a portable phone. He gives the phone to the teller, a guy on the other end of the line says, we've got this guy's little girl, if you don't give him all your money, we're gonna kill her.

Yolanda: Did it work?

...Pumpkin: Pretty smart, eh?

Yolanda: Pretty smart.

totster 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

From the "Blues Brothers"

The blues brothers in the bluesmobile, after Elwood spots a police car coming up behind them:

Elwood: Sh*t.

Jake: What?

Elwood: Rollers.

Jake: No.

Elwood: Yeah.

Jake: Sh*t.

A classic indeed!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I love it!

" the godfather"

give them an offer they can't refuse!

"So the next day, my father went to see him; only this time with Luca Brasi. An' within an hour, he signed a release, for a certified check for $1000. [Kay: "How'd he do that?"] My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse. [Kay: "What was that?"] Luca Brasi held a gun to his head and my father assured him that either his brains, or his signature, would be on the contract. That's a true story. That's my family, Kay, it's not me."

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a way to introduce your fiancee to your family!

I love it, I love it all!!! Thank you guys. I read this about 08:30 this morning for me *an hour ago* and you gentleman have made my day a happy one.

Thank you.

[camble]

What we have here is a failure to communicate, from

The Naughty Nineties (1945)

Dexter Broadhurst: Strange as it may seem, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Funny names?

Dexter Broadhurst: Nicknames. Nicknames.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Not -- not as funny as my name -- Sebastian Dinwiddie.

Dexter Broadhurst: Oh, yes, yes, yes!

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Funnier than that?

Dexter Broadhurst: Oh, absolutely. Yes. Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --

Sebastian Dinwiddle: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.

Dexter Broadhurst: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I don't Know is on third --

Sebastian Dinwiddle: You know the fellows' names?

Dexter Broadhurst: Yes.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Well, then, who's playin' first?

Dexter Broadhurst: Yes.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I mean the fellow's name on first base.

Dexter Broadhurst: Who.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: The fellow playin' first base for St. Louis.

Dexter Broadhurst: Who.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: The guy on first base.

Dexter Broadhurst: Who is on first.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Well, what are you askin' me for?

Dexter Broadhurst: I'm not asking you -- I'm telling you. WHO IS ON FIRST.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I'm asking you -- who's on first?

Dexter Broadhurst: That's the man's name!

Sebastian Dinwiddle: That's who's name?

Dexter Broadhurst: Yes.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Well, go ahead and tell me!

Dexter Broadhurst: Who.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: The guy on first.

Dexter Broadhurst: Who.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: The first baseman.

Dexter Broadhurst: Who is on first.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Have you got a first baseman on first?

Dexter Broadhurst: Certainly.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Then who's playing first?

Dexter Broadhurst: Absolutely.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: When you pay the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Dexter Broadhurst: Every dollar of it. And why not, the man's entitled to it.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Who is?

Dexter Broadhurst: Yes.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: So who gets it?

Dexter Broadhurst: Why shouldn't he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Who's wife?

Dexter Broadhurst: Yes. After all the man earns it.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Who does?

Dexter Broadhurst: Absolutely.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Well all I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.

Dexter Broadhurst: Oh, no, no, What is on Second base.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Dexter Broadhurst: Who's on first.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: That's what I'm trying to find out.

Dexter Broadhurst: Well, don't change the players around.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I'm not changing nobody.

Dexter Broadhurst: Now, take it easy.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: What's the guy's name on first base?

Dexter Broadhurst: What's the guy's name on second base.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.

Dexter Broadhurst: Who's on first.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I don't know.

Dexter Broadhurst: He's on third. We're not talking about him.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: How could I get on third base?

Dexter Broadhurst: You mentioned his name.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?

Dexter Broadhurst: No, who's playing first.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Stay offa first will ya?

Dexter Broadhurst: Well what do you want me to do?

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Now what's the guy's name on first base?

Dexter Broadhurst: What's on second.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I'm not asking ya who's on second.

Dexter Broadhurst: Who's on first.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I don't know.

Dexter Broadhurst: He's on third.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: There I go back on third again.

Dexter Broadhurst: Well, I can't change their names.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Say, will you please stay on third base, Mr. Broadhurst.

Dexter Broadhurst: Please. Now what is it you want to know?

Sebastian Dinwiddle: What is the fellow's name on third base?

Dexter Broadhurst: What is the fellow's name on second base.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.

Dexter Broadhurst: Who's on first.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I don't know.

Dexter Broadhurst, Sebastian Dinwiddle: Third base!

Sebastian Dinwiddle: You got an outfield?

Dexter Broadhurst: Oh, sure.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: St. Louis has got a good outfield?

Dexter Broadhurst: Oh, absolutely.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: The left fielder's name?

Dexter Broadhurst: Why?

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask.

Dexter Broadhurst: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Then tell me who's playing left field.

Dexter Broadhurst: Who's playing first.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Stay out of the infield.

Dexter Broadhurst: Don't mention any name out there.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I want to know what's the fellow's name on left field.

Dexter Broadhurst: What is on second.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Dexter Broadhurst: Who's on first.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I don't know.

Dexter Broadhurst: Now take it easy, take it east.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: And the left fielder's name?

Dexter Broadhurst: Why.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Because.

Dexter Broadhurst: Oh, he's center field. Will you pick up your hat please.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Center Field.

Dexter Broadhurst: Pick up your hat. And stop this -- Now look, please.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Mr. Broadhurst.

Dexter Broadhurst: Yes?

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Wait a minute. You got a pitcher on the team?

Dexter Broadhurst: Wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I don't know. Tell me the pitcher's name.

Dexter Broadhurst: Tomorrow.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: You don't want to tell me today?

Dexter Broadhurst: I'm telling you man.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Then go ahead.

Dexter Broadhurst: Tomorrow.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: What time?

Dexter Broadhurst: What time what?

Sebastian Dinwiddle: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?

Dexter Broadhurst: Now listen, Who is not pitching, Who is on --

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I'll break your arm if you say who's on first.

Dexter Broadhurst: Then why come up here and ask?

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I want to know what's the pitcher's name.

Dexter Broadhurst: What's on second.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I don't know.

Sebastian Dinwiddle, Dexter Broadhurst: Third base!

Sebastian Dinwiddle: You gotta catcher?

Dexter Broadhurst: Yes.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: The Catcher's name?

Dexter Broadhurst: Today.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Today. And tomorrow's pitching.

Dexter Broadhurst: Now you've got it.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: That's all, St. Louis got a couple of days on their team. That's all.

Dexter Broadhurst: Well I can't help that. Alright. What do you want me to do?

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Gotta catcher?

Dexter Broadhurst: Yes.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I'm a good catcher too you know.

Dexter Broadhurst: I know that.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I would like to play for the St. Louis team.

Dexter Broadhurst: Well I might arrange that.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I would like to catch. Now I'm being a good Catcher, tomorrow's pitching on the team, and I'm catching.

Dexter Broadhurst: Yes.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Tomorrow throws the ball and the guy bunts the ball.

Dexter Broadhurst: Yes.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Now when he bunts the ball -- me being a good catcher -- I want to throw the guy out at first base, so I pick up the ball and throw it to who.

Dexter Broadhurst: Now, that's the first thing you've said right.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

Dexter Broadhurst: Well, that's all you have to do.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Is to throw it to first base.

Dexter Broadhurst: Yes.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Now who's got it?

Dexter Broadhurst: Naturally.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Who has it?

Dexter Broadhurst: Naturally.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Naturally.

Dexter Broadhurst: Naturally.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: O.K.

Dexter Broadhurst: Now you've got it.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.

Dexter Broadhurst: No you don't, you throw the ball to first base.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Then who gets it?

Dexter Broadhurst: Naturally.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: O.K.

Dexter Broadhurst: Alright.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I throw the ball to Naturally.

Dexter Broadhurst: You don't. You throw it to Who.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Naturally.

Dexter Broadhurst: Well, naturally. Say it that way.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: That's what I said.

Dexter Broadhurst: You did not.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I said I'd throw the ball to Naturally.

Dexter Broadhurst: You don't. You throw it to Who.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Naturally.

Dexter Broadhurst: Yes.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: So I throw the ball to first base and Naturally gets it.

Dexter Broadhurst: No. You throw the ball to first base --

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Then who gets it?

Dexter Broadhurst: Naturally.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: That's what I'm saying.

Dexter Broadhurst: You're not saying that.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Excuse me folks.

Dexter Broadhurst: It's alright. I'm sorry folks.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I throw the ball to Naturally.

Dexter Broadhurst: You throw it to Who.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Naturally.

Dexter Broadhurst: Naturally. Well say it that way.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: That's what I'm saying.

Dexter Broadhurst: Don't get excited. Now don't get excited.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I throw the ball to first base.

Dexter Broadhurst: Then Who gets it.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: He better get it.

Dexter Broadhurst: That's it. Alright now don't get excited. Take it easy.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Hmmph.

Dexter Broadhurst: Hmmph.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Now I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is grabs the ball, so the guy runs to second.

Dexter Broadhurst: Uh-huh.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Who picks up the ball and throws it to what. What throws it to I Don't know. I Don't know throws it back to Tomorrow -- a triple play.

Dexter Broadhurst: Yeah. It could be.

Sebastian Dinwiddle: Another guy gets up and it's a long fly ball to center. Why? I don't know. And I don't care.

Dexter Broadhurst: What was that?

Sebastian Dinwiddle: I said, I DON'T CARE.

Dexter Broadhurst: Oh, that's our shortstop!

[BambinA]

"10 Things I Hate About You "quotes

"I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car.

I hate it when you stare I hate your big dumb combat boots.

And the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick - it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right.

I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh - even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it that you're not around.

And the fact that you didnt call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all."

Bambi

[jayenram]

MORRIS: I love sheep.

SHEPHERD #2: So do I. Terrific animals. Terrific.

MORRIS: No trouble.

SHEPHERD #2: No, no trouble.

SHEPHERD #1: Except at shearing. They can play up a bit, then; can't they?

MORRIS: Oh, yeah, but I like that sort of little burst of frenzy they have then, you know. I like it when they get a little bit angry. Shows they're human.

SHEPHERD #1: Oh, yeah. I-- I-- I'm not saying I dislike them at shearing, you know, but they can be a bit of a handful; can't they?

MORRIS: Well, so would you be if you had a great pair of scissors snippin' away while someone held your back legs apart.

SHEPHERD #1: Hm.

MORRIS: You'd wiggle a bit. You'd kick up a bit of a fuss. Heh.

SHEPHERD #1: Yeah, I-- I'm not saying I just expect them to stand around in the fields and nibble the grass and look a bit pretty. I-- I'm not saying that.

SHEPHERD #2: Oh, but they are pretty; aren't they?

MORRIS: Yeah.

SHEPHERD #1: Oh, yeah.

SHEPHERD #2: I mean, look at that one over there against the sky. The white of the coat, the little black face against the twinkling stars beyond.

MORRIS: Yes. Aww. Terrific.

SHEPHERD #1: Mhm.

MORRIS: Terrific animals.

SHEPHERD #1: Mm.

SHEPHERD #2: The little lambs in springtime.

MORRIS: Oh.

SHEPHERD #1: Ahh.

MORRIS: The lambs, eh? Now you're talking. They're lovely, eh? I love them.

SHEPHERD #2: Oh, so do I, Morris. I love them more than anything. Little white furry bundles.

SHEPHERD #1: Mhmm.

MORRIS: I think, of all God's creatures, seep have the best offspring.

SHEPHERD #2: Oh, yes. Terrific animals.

MORRIS: Mm.

SHEPHERD #2: Terrific.

SHEPHERD #1: Yeah. They're so sure-footed.

SHEPHERD #2: Hm.

MORRIS: And quick-witted.

SHEPHERD #1: Are they quick-witted?

MORRIS: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they're quite, uh, quick-witted.

SHEPHERD #1: Mhm.

SHEPHERD #2: Always cheerful. Hmm.

SHEPHERD #1: Well, except at shearing. Hehhehheh.

MORRIS: Why are you always on about shearing?

SHEPHERD #1: I'm not always on about it, Morris.

MORRIS: You are a great deflater, you are.

SHEPHERD #1: He was--

MORRIS: Of all the moments in their little lives, you unerringly put your finger on the one moment where they lose a little bit of dignity. Well, I regard that as cheap, quite honestly.

SHEPHERD #2: Oh, look! Look. One of them's looking up at us. Heh. He knows we're talkin' about him. sniff

SHEPHERD #1: Morris, don't get me wrong. I actually like their behaviour at shearing. I actually like them when they get a little bit cross. I find that endearing.

MORRIS: That's the fantastic thing. They're beautiful to look at, well-disposed, quite quick-witted, and yet, tough as nails.

SHEPHERD #2: sniff

MORRIS: sniff

SHEPHERD #2: You know, I can't think of anything I'd rather do than watch sheep.

MORRIS: Mmm.

SHEPHERD #1: The only other animals that I would be remotely interested in watching would be cats.

MORRIS: They don't have flocks of cats.

SHEPHERD #1: No, I-- I'm not saying they do, Morris.

MORRIS: Can you imagine a herd of cats waiting to be sheared? Meow! Meow! Woo hoo hoo.

SHEPHERD #2: Shh! Shh. I heard something over there.

MORRIS: Wolves?

SHEPHERD #2: Could be.

MORRIS: Where?

SHEPHERD #2: Over there.

MORRIS: Right.

thump thump

Take that, you buggers!

SHEPHERD #4: Oowhh.

SHEPHERD #2: That's not a wolf.

SHEPHERD #4: S-- Gordon Bennett!

SHEPHERD #3: ungh What did you do that for!?

MORRIS: I thought he was a wolf.

SHEPHERD #3: You hit him right in the face!

MORRIS: Well, he shouldn't come snooping 'round like that.

SHEPHERD #3: You wait till you hear what we've just seen! The most incredible things just happened!

SHEPHERD #4: Don't tell 'em. Owhh.

SHEPHERD #3: We were on the hillside over there when this amazing-

SHEPHERD #4: Don't tell them! They broke my bloody nose!

SHEPHERD #3: Can't I tell them about the amazing th--

SHEPHERD #4: No! Oohh.

SHEPHERD #3: Well, they said we were to tell everybody!

SHEPHERD #4: Not people who break your bloody nose! Come on.

SHEPHERD #1: Where are you going?

SHEPHERD #3: Bethlehem.

SHEPHERD #4: Nowhere! Good night. Uhh.

MORRIS: That's right! Leave your sheep! Leave them to the wolves! Call yourselves shepherds?! You're a disgrace to the profession!

SHEPHERD #2: Huh. What a rotten thing to do,...

MORRIS: Yeah.

SHEPHERD #2: ...to go and leave those little helpless furry bundles alone on the hillside.

MORRIS: So they can go down to Bethlehem and get drunk.

pause

SHEPHERD #1: Is it A.D. yet?

MORRIS: Quarter past.

[andyfletch]

From the "Blues Brothers"

The blues brothers in the bluesmobile, after Elwood spots a police car coming up behind them:

Elwood: Sh*t.

Jake: What?

Elwood: Rollers.

Jake: No.

Elwood: Yeah.

Jake: Sh*t.

A classic indeed!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Also in Bobs Country Bunker:

Jake: "What kind of music do you have here?"

Barmaid: " Oh, we've got both kinds: Country AND Western!!"

Brilliant stuff

[opothai]

What we have here is a failure to communicate, from

The Naughty Nineties (1945)

i thought that was from 'cool hand luke' paul newman just before he got shot

'is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me'

and another one attributed to the same actress, but some will argue she never said it on screen, i don't know

'come up and see me some time'

[rio666uk]

Pulp Fiction

-------------

When Jules and Vincent Vega are discussing the differences between the US and Europe, hash bars, beer in mcdonalds and the famous "Le Big Mac" & "Royale with Cheese"

but my favourite of all time is:

Film: SNATCH

In Bar - Sol, Vinny & Tyrone pointing gun at Bullett Tooth Tony

So you're obviously the big dick,

and they on either side of you, must be your balls.

I am talking for your benefit.

Now dicks have drive, and clarity of vision.

But they're not clever, they smell pussy,

and they want a piece of the action,

and the dimmer the dick,

the less he cares about the consequences,

and you thought you smelt gooood ol pussy,

and have brought your little mincy faggot balls along for a gooood

ol time,

but you have got your parties muddled up,

there is no pussy here, just a dose to make you wish you

were born a woman.. . .

And just like a prick,

you are having second thoughts;

you're shrinking, and your little balls are shrinking

with you.

[lappami1]

"Shane"

Alan Ladd: "So you're Wilson. I've heard about you"

Jack Palance: "What have you heard?"

Alan Ladd: "You're a low-down-yankee-liar!"

Jack Palance: "Prove it!"

and the shooting starts...

[aughie]

The Movie: Miami Blues

Here's the setup: a cop is searching for a homicide suspect. Following his leads he finds the guy holed up with a gal in an apartment. The two men sit down at a kitchen table and over beers they feel each other out.

COP: I bet you're Herman Gotlieb.

SUSPECT: How much?

COP: Sergeant Hoke Moseley. Homicide.

SUSPECT: Herman Gotlieb.

COP: I'd like to ask you a few questions. Routine. Boy, you got a grip there, Herman. Been working out?

SUSPECT: Can I get you a cold one there, Sarge?

COP: Well, why not?

SUSPECT: Two Polars, honey.

COP: You down at the airport today, Herman?

SUSPECT: Yeah, I was.

COP: Somebody broke the finger off a Hare Krishna... and the son of a bitch died.

SUSPECT: No shit?

COP: No shit

SUSPECT: I didn't do it

COP: Oh, no, no, no. We're just looking for someone... who might have seen anything.

The suspect's girlfriend envites the cop to stay for dinner. She is unaware of what is going on between the two men.

COP: So, Herman, where did you do your time?

SUSPECT: Time? What do you mean?

COP: Well, the way you're guarding that food. You know... like another con could take it away from you.

SUSPECT: Well, I was raised in foster homes, you know? I didn't get no dessert till I was in eighth grade.

COP: ######. I got a daughter in the eighth grade. Half my paycheck goes to her orthodontist.

SUSPECT: She's got your teeth, man.

COP: Yeah. The joint's about the only place... you got time to work out to get a grip like that

SUSPECT: I was an aerobics instructor.

COP: Shoots the shit out of that theory. Great dinner.

SUSPECT: Get you something to go, Sarge?

COP: Just you. Kidding, Herman. Listen, if you think of anything... just, uh, give me a call. That's my home phone. Oh, and, uh, when we round up... the usual airport hoodlums... maybe you could shoot by and take a look at a line-up. Take you five minutes. Oh, yeah. You mind standing in the line-up, too? We're a little short of bodies. Heh heh. You ever stood in a line-up before, Herman?

SUSPECT: Never been caught, Sarge.

COP: Ah, you ain't got one beer rat-holed... I can take with me for the road, do you?

SUSPECT: You got it all, man. Dog biscuits, too.

COP: Oh...see you. Night, Susie.

[Thaipwriter]

Quentin Tarantino gets the gold medal for dialogue.

The "like a virgin" / "tipping" scene in Reserviour Dogs.

Also the drug dealer tale by Tim Roth

True Romance: The Scicilian dialogue by Walken and Hoffman.

Get Shorty has some fantastic exchanges between Travolta / Hackman / De Vito

[thaibebop]

The Death sence in Meaning of Life.

"You Englishmen. none you have any balls."

[kayo]

"10 Things I Hate About You "quotes

"I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car.

I hate it when you stare I hate your big dumb combat boots.

And the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick - it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right.

I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh - even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it that you're not around.

And the fact that you didnt call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all."

Bambi

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So do you still hate me then Bambi?

[Ice Maiden]

Fight Club

Tyler Durden - [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?

Narrator - So you can breath

Tyler Durden - Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.

Narrator - That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

--------------------------------------------------

Narrator: Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you?

Tyler Durden: C'mon, do me this one favor.

Narrator: Why?

Tyler Durden: Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight. You?

Narrator: No, but that's a good thing.

Tyler Durden: No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve.

Narrator: This is crazy.

Tyler Durden: So go crazy. Let 'er rip.

Narrator: I don't know about this.

Tyler Durden: I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care?

Narrator: Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you?

Tyler Durden: That's right.

Narrator: What, like in the face?

Tyler Durden: Surprise me.

Narrator: This is so ######ing stupid...

[Narrator swings, connects against Tyler's head]

Tyler Durden: Mother######er! You hit me in the ear!

Narrator: Well, Jesus, I'm sorry.

Tyler Durden: Ow, Christ... why the ear, man?

Narrator: Guess I ######ed it up...

Tyler Durden: No, that was perfect!

--------------------------------------------------------------

[thaibebop]

Fight Club

Tyler Durden - [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?

Narrator - So you can breath

Tyler Durden - Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.

Narrator - That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

--------------------------------------------------

Narrator: Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you?

Tyler Durden: C'mon, do me this one favor.

Narrator: Why?

Tyler Durden: Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight. You?

Narrator: No, but that's a good thing.

Tyler Durden: No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve.

Narrator: This is crazy.

Tyler Durden: So go crazy. Let 'er rip.

Narrator: I don't know about this.

Tyler Durden: I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care?

Narrator: Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you?

Tyler Durden: That's right.

Narrator: What, like in the face?

Tyler Durden: Surprise me.

Narrator: This is so ######ing stupid...

[Narrator swings, connects against Tyler's head]

Tyler Durden: Mother######er! You hit me in the ear!

Narrator: Well, Jesus, I'm sorry.

Tyler Durden: Ow, Christ... why the ear, man?

Narrator: Guess I ######ed it up...

Tyler Durden: No, that was perfect!

--------------------------------------------------------------

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Thomas_Merton]

I've always thought, despite not being homosexual, that these lines have a rich poignant, vital, humour that has unfortunately disappeared since the advent of AIDS.

The Boys in the Band (1970)

Michael: What's so fukcing funny?

Harold: Life. Life's a goddamn laugh riot.

*******************************

Harold: Who is she? Who was she? Who does she hope to be?

*******************************

Michael: What is he - a psychiatrist or a hairdresser?

Donald: Actually he's both. He shrinks my head and then combs me out.

*******************************

Donald: Thanks to the silver screen your neurosis has got style.

*******************************

Michael: Believe it or not, there was a time in my life when I didn't go around announcing I was a faggot.

*******************************

Emory: Who do you have to fukc to get a drink around here?

*******************************

Michael: It's not always the way it is in plays. Not all faggots bump themselves off at the end of the story!

*******************************

[Looking in the mirror]

Michael: There's one thing to be said about masturbation: you certainly don't have to look your best.

*******************************

Michael: [sings] "Forget your troubles, c'mon get happy! You better chase all your cares away!" What's more boring than a queen doing a Judy Garland imitation?

Donald: A queen doing a Bette Davis imitation.

*******************************

Michael: Donald, you are a real card carrying kunt.

*******************************

Cowboy: I lost my grip doing my chin ups and fell on my heels and twisted my back.

Emory: You shouldn't wear heels when you do chin ups!

*******************************

Emory: Ooh, I'd love to meet him. Or her. I have such a problem with pronouns.

Alan: How many S's are in the word pronoun?

Emory: How'd you like to kiss my ass? That's got two S's in it.

Alan: How would you like to blow me?

Emory: What's the matter, you're wife got lockjaw?

*******************************

[To the Cowboy, Harold's "gift"]

Hank: Would you mind waiting over there with the gifts?

*******************************

Michael: You're stoned and you're late. You were supposed to arrive at this location at eight thirty dash nine o'clock.

Harold: What I am Michael is a 32 year-old, ugly, pock marked Jew fairy, and if it takes me a little while to pull myself together, and if I smoke a little grass before I get up the nerve to show my face to the world, it's nobody's god damned business but my own. And how are you this evening?

*******************************

Harold: You're lips are turning blue. You look like you've been rimming a snowman.

*******************************

Harold: I keep my grass in the medicine cabinet in the Band Aid box. Somebody told me it's the safest place. If the cops arrive, you can always lock yourself in the bathroom and flush it down the john.

Hank: Very cagey.

Harold: Makes more sense to where I was keeping it: in the oregano jar in the spice rack. I kept forgetting it and accidentally turning my hateful mother on with a salad. But I think she liked it. No matter what meal she comes over for, even if it was breakfast, she says

[in his mother's voice]

Harold: "Let's have a salad!"

*******************************

Harold: How's the bathroom smell?

Michael: Before it smelled like someone puked. Now it smells like someone puked in a gardenia patch.

*******************************

Harold: You're a sad and pathetic man. You're a homosexual and you don't want to be, but there's nothing you can do to change it. Not all the prayers to you god, not all the analysis you can buy in all the years you've go left to live. You may one day be able to know a heterosexual life if you want it desperately enough. If you pursue it with the fervor with which you annihilate. But you'll always be homosexual as well. Always Michael. Always. Until the day you die

[thaibebop]

The scene between Deniro and Puccino in Heat.