Wedding Ceremony In Surin

[thai3]

Getting married in Surin in August and without going into the sin sott arrangent, which I already think is too much another surprise has come up. At the lao ceremonies I have been to the couple keep the envelopes with the money in that the guest give. Here though I am told the brides parents keep it and it goes towards the wedding. However I was under the imression that all of this expense came out of the dowery and the parents are keeping whats left, which might well be most of it at this rate. This is northern surin where the GF assures me it's the norm. They do have a spirit ceremony (oh gawd not again) where we do get to keep a few bob handed over though. any experiences?-peter

[Welsh John]

Im interested in this as well,I will be getting married there next year!!! To play safe I've budgeted to pay for the whole lot anyway and compared to the cost in the UK its still a lot cheaper in LOS, BUT thats only what I've worked out so far.....I may have missed something!!

[thai3]

Im interested in this as well,I will be getting married there next year!!! To play safe I've budgeted to pay for the whole lot anyway and compared to the cost in the UK its still a lot cheaper in LOS, BUT thats only what I've worked out so far.....I may have missed something!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You will have i'm sure, what sin sott sre you paying? what the price of marriage in the UK is not really the point, rather its is what you are being asked for in surin the normal arrangements and amounts. If you find out not then it's a bad sign-peter

[pnustedt]

We had the religious wedding ceremony near Sisaket. We started at the mum-in-law's house with half a dozen monks, food, etc.

My wife raised about 100K baht and a tree was made and the leaves were small denomination baht notes. This was paraded through the village with a large entourage to the Wat and the money was donated to help with an extension to the building. We had already had a civil wedding and I didn't realise that I was getting married again till half way thru the ceremony.

I gave mum-in-law gold, value about 25K baht. Other costs were a few crates of beer, whiskey, food, etc.

[Dragonman]

Im interested in this as well,I will be getting married there next year!!! To play safe I've budgeted to pay for the whole lot anyway and compared to the cost in the UK its still a lot cheaper in LOS, BUT thats only what I've worked out so far.....I may have missed something!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Best way to look at it, John. If you are worrying about whether you or the parents keep the wedding money don't marry a thai When I got married I paid for everything and parents kept money. Look at it this way, it keeps them off your back for longer and gives them a higher standing locally. The total cost of the reception was minimal compared to western weddings. Probably because I didn't give a monkeys', Mrs Dragonman still around after 5 years. Despite what loads think it ain't a business relationship. Try and make each other happy.

[Jeff1]

Getting married in Surin in August and without going into the sin sott arrangent, which I already think is too much another surprise has come up. At the lao ceremonies I have been to the couple keep the envelopes with the money in that the guest give. Here though I am told the brides parents keep it and it goes towards the wedding. However I was under the imression that all of this expense came out of the dowery and the parents are keeping whats left, which might well be most of it at this rate. This is northern surin where the GF assures me it's the norm. They do have a spirit ceremony (oh gawd not again) where we do get to keep a few bob handed over though. any experiences?-peter

Marrage money does not come out of the dowery .

That you will have to pay also .

Actually you will have to pay for everything ... always . Get used to it .

[Welsh John]

Marrage money does not come out of the dowery .

That you will have to pay also .

Actually you will have to pay for everything ... always . Get used to it .

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The G/F only has a mum as father died when she was young and she lives on her own.

As far as Im concerned the marriage is about the two of us and not about presents.

IF money is given by the very small family and friends as a present then mum is welcome to it anyway.

As far as the dowry is concerned, thats been agreed and I would rather keep that personal but in any case is not a lot of money for me.

Im not expecting Mum to pay for anything at all.

I think the biggest costs for me are the Flights,Hotels,Car Hire,Bits of Paper and I guess the Beer Bill.

Edited June 28, 2005 by Welsh John

[thai3]

Marrage money does not come out of the dowery .

That you will have to pay also .

Actually you will have to pay for everything ... always . Get used to it .

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Marriage money can come out of the dowry, sometimes they give all or part of it back. There are no hard and fast rules, so many differrent practices between areas which is why I asked about the gift money, I never heard of this going to the parents before. In my case they are giving half of the dowry back to me as a compromise, as it is it's twice what it should be IMO. GF is paying for her dresses, my ring and party so it could be worse. I don't agree with the don't pay isin sott it's all a scam argument or pay whatever they want it's a lot cheaper than at home-peter

Edited June 28, 2005 by thai3

[Jeff1]

The best of luck to the both of you . Yes , it is true that there are no certin rules as each family is different . How things work between a farang and and a Thai and a Thai / Thai marrage could very well be different . Dont worry about money and small matters like that , your in love ! Again , Best of luck

[roiet]

Marrage money does not come out of the dowery .

That you will have to pay also .

Actually you will have to pay for everything ... always . Get used to it .

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Marriage money can come out of the dowry, sometimes they give all or part of it back. There are no hard and fast rules, so many differrent practices between areas which is why I asked about the gift money, I never heard of this going to the parents before. In my case they are giving half of the dowry back to me as a compromise, as it is it's twice what it should be IMO. GF is paying for her dresses, my ring and party so it could be worse. I don't agree with the don't pay isin sott it's all a scam argument or pay whatever they want it's a lot cheaper than at home-peter

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There are always rules about dowry, gift money etc etc. Its everything about loosing face. Your dowry is high and must be presented on the carpet before the public, so no loosing face. You have arranged the pay back of 50 % with your mother in law beforehand, fine. Nobody except your mother in law and future wife knows about it because your mother in law puts the dowry in her bank. Why are you trying to get some more money back like small gift money which goes in any case again to your mother in law. Your girl friend is already paying for her dress, your ring and party. I attented more than 30 thai/falang weddings already and never heard of girl friend paying for her wedding dress ????????

[thai3]

Up to her, as already suggested I doubt if two weddings are exactly the same and very common for the dowry not to go in the mothers bank but to be given back. Actually everything was up to us, or GF! as the family said they asked for nothing. However I felt 200.000 was too high so suggested only paying so much for face as long as I got half of it back. Nobody will know. just as they don't when parents even contribute themselves to the sin sott. Seems nobody heard of the gift money going to the parents. I think if you are going to marry a thai and agree to go along with thai tradition it's a good thing to do so not by merely opening the wallet and inviting them to help themeselves, thais don't do this and if we do I'm sure it is not a good idea.-peter

[Dragonman]

Up to her, as already suggested I doubt if two weddings are exactly the same and very common for the dowry not to go in the mothers bank but to be given back. Actually everything was up to us, or GF! as the family said they asked for nothing. However I felt 200.000 was too high so suggested only paying so much for face as long as I got half of it back. Nobody will know. just as they don't when parents even contribute themselves to the sin sott. Seems nobody heard of the gift money going to the parents. I think if you are going to marry a thai and agree to go along with thai tradition it's a good thing to do so not by merely opening the wallet and inviting them to help themeselves, thais don't do this and if we do I'm sure it is not a good idea.-peter

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If you think nobody will know anything about your business you are sadly mistaken. When you are not around, or even if you are around, if you don't speak the lingo, everyone will discuss you. If this is the way you feel your marriage will succeed I sincerely wish you good luck.

[deepdiver]

i've been married 4 times in Surin...never paid any money for the family, just the party and that's it ... you should look around what is happening around Surin...almost all the girls who come home with a falang works ore worked in a bar somewhere in Thailand...what's happening is that it's like a rule that a falang should pay for everything because we are "ritch" 100 to 250 thausand i've hurd allready, plus house, car etc etc even a bar/restaurant ... when a girl marries a thai girl, he pais 10 ore 15 thausand bath and a pig's head...my advise..if they want more than 20000 bath tell here to &lt;deleted&gt; off and go and look for a new "love", plenty of them in Thailand...because if you don't pay they will go eventually do there old job again afther a while because your a cheap charlie !!!

good luck !!

[deepdiver]

i've been married 4 times in Surin...never paid any money for the family, just the party and that's it ... you should look around what is happening around Surin...almost all the girls who come home with a falang works ore worked in a bar somewhere in Thailand...what's happening is that it's like a rule that a falang should pay for everything because we are "ritch" 100 to 250 thausand i've hurd allready, plus house, car etc etc  even a bar/restaurant ... when a girl marries a thai girl, he pais 10 ore 15 thausand bath and a pig's head...my advise..if they want more than 20000 bath tell here to &lt;deleted&gt; off and go and look for a new "love", plenty of them in Thailand...because if you don't pay they will go eventually do there old job again afther a while because your a cheap charlie !!!

good luck !!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

sorry about girl / girl... my finger slipped .. i mean girl marries with thai boy ...

[lampard10]

i've been married 4 times in Surin...never paid any money for the family, just the party and that's it ... you should look around what is happening around Surin...almost all the girls who come home with a falang works ore worked in a bar somewhere in Thailand...what's happening is that it's like a rule that a falang should pay for everything because we are "ritch" 100 to 250 thausand i've hurd allready, plus house, car etc etc  even a bar/restaurant ... when a girl marries a thai girl, he pais 10 ore 15 thausand bath and a pig's head...my advise..if they want more than 20000 bath tell here to &lt;deleted&gt; off and go and look for a new "love", plenty of them in Thailand...because if you don't pay they will go eventually do there old job again afther a while because your a cheap charlie !!!

good luck !!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

sorry about girl / girl... my finger slipped .. i mean girl marries with thai boy ...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thinking about Ubon, it could of course be boy/boy

[Dragonman]

i've been married 4 times in Surin...never paid any money for the family, just the party and that's it ... you should look around what is happening around Surin...almost all the girls who come home with a falang works ore worked in a bar somewhere in Thailand...what's happening is that it's like a rule that a falang should pay for everything because we are "ritch" 100 to 250 thausand i've hurd allready, plus house, car etc etc  even a bar/restaurant ... when a girl marries a thai girl, he pais 10 ore 15 thausand bath and a pig's head...my advise..if they want more than 20000 bath tell here to &lt;deleted&gt; off and go and look for a new "love", plenty of them in Thailand...because if you don't pay they will go eventually do there old job again afther a while because your a cheap charlie !!!

good luck !!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You didn't give up on Surin ladies after the first time then.Or are you just a glutton for punishment

[dr_Pat_Pong]

i've been married 4 times in Surin...never paid any money for the family, just the party and that's it ... you should look around what is happening around Surin...almost all the girls who come home with a falang works ore worked in a bar somewhere in Thailand...what's happening is that it's like a rule that a falang should pay for everything because we are "ritch" 100 to 250 thausand i've hurd allready, plus house, car etc etc  even a bar/restaurant ... when a girl marries a thai girl, he pais 10 ore 15 thausand bath and a pig's head...my advise..if they want more than 20000 bath tell here to &lt;deleted&gt; off and go and look for a new "love", plenty of them in Thailand...because if you don't pay they will go eventually do there old job again afther a while because your a cheap charlie !!!

good luck !!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

sorry about girl / girl... my finger slipped .. i mean girl marries with thai boy ...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thinking about Ubon, it could of course be boy/boy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Khutan]

Some things to consider;

If she was married before, or lived with another man, then the Sin-Sod is zero.

If she has ever worked anywhere near a Kara-OK / Bar etc then the Sin-Sod should also be either Zero or very small

If she is not a virgin, the value of the Sin Sod reduces significantly. No local boy in Surin would pay more than 20k Baht for a non-virgin.

In the south of Surin, it is an expectation that the cost of the wedding is subtracted from the Sin-Sod.

Do not be fooled by what people say, there is a huge "try-on" for more money.

Also you can ask for money to be held in like an escrow so if your wife is a bad-girl you can get 50% - 75% of the money back. You can also ask for the money to be used for a deposit on land for your wife.

The largest Sin-Sod I ever heard of in Surin was 250k Baht. This rather well-off guy married a lady who was a virgin who had a masters degree and also had a well paid government job.

Yes, I paid a big Sin-sod, in my opinion, but apart from a few genuine expenses, it all came back, and we eventually bought land for my wife.

Negotiate hard, don't give anything away without negotiation, if she is not a virgin tell the family you don't approve and maybe you shouldn't marry at all. That will set them back on their heels.

Good luck, the day is totally for the bride, and wait until they pour the Red-Bull down the wicker funnel.

[WhiteShiva]

i've been married 4 times in Surin...never paid any money for the family, just the party and that's it ... you should look around what is happening around Surin...almost all the girls who come home with a falang works ore worked in a bar somewhere in Thailand...what's happening is that it's like a rule that a falang should pay for everything because we are "ritch" 100 to 250 thausand i've hurd allready, plus house, car etc etc  even a bar/restaurant ... when a girl marries a thai girl, he pais 10 ore 15 thausand bath and a pig's head...my advise..if they want more than 20000 bath tell here to &lt;deleted&gt; off and go and look for a new "love", plenty of them in Thailand...because if you don't pay they will go eventually do there old job again afther a while because your a cheap charlie !!!

good luck !!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Has it ever stuck you that you attitude on this subject may perhaps explain the need to marry more than once.......?

Unless the past 3 wives died of old age or boredom, that is....

[Jeff1]

i've been married 4 times in Surin...never paid any money for the family, just the party and that's it ... you should look around what is happening around Surin...almost all the girls who come home with a falang works ore worked in a bar somewhere in Thailand...what's happening is that it's like a rule that a falang should pay for everything because we are "ritch" 100 to 250 thausand i've hurd allready, plus house, car etc etc  even a bar/restaurant ... when a girl marries a thai girl, he pais 10 ore 15 thausand bath and a pig's head...my advise..if they want more than 20000 bath tell here to &lt;deleted&gt; off and go and look for a new "love", plenty of them in Thailand...because if you don't pay they will go eventually do there old job again afther a while because your a cheap charlie !!!

good luck !!

sorry about girl / girl... my finger slipped .. i mean girl marries with thai boy ...

Thinking about Ubon, it could of course be boy/boy

He's addicted to wedding cake !

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Love it

[thai3]

i've been married 4 times in Surin...never paid any money for the family, just the party and that's it ... you should look around what is happening around Surin...almost all the girls who come home with a falang works ore worked in a bar somewhere in Thailand...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Maybe you married the wrong sorts? my GF is a teacher, degree, not a married before so no kids and as far as anyone knows a virgin, and has never been into a bar aimed at westerners. There is a big differrence in social standing between bar girls and teachers, one will always be looked down on no matter how much they earn, the other always respected, except the western type underqualified sex tourist type 'teacher'-peter

Edited July 5, 2005 by thai3

[dr_Pat_Pong]

i've been married 4 times in Surin...never paid any money for the family, just the party and that's it ... you should look around what is happening around Surin...almost all the girls who come home with a falang works ore worked in a bar somewhere in Thailand...what's happening is that it's like a rule that a falang should pay for everything because we are "ritch" 100 to 250 thausand i've hurd allready, plus house, car etc etc  even a bar/restaurant ... when a girl marries a thai girl, he pais 10 ore 15 thausand bath and a pig's head...my advise..if they want more than 20000 bath tell here to &lt;deleted&gt; off and go and look for a new "love", plenty of them in Thailand...because if you don't pay they will go eventually do there old job again afther a while because your a cheap charlie !!!

good luck !!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

sorry about girl / girl... my finger slipped .. i mean girl marries with thai boy ...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thinking about Ubon, it could of course be boy/boy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

He's addicted to wedding cake !

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wedding cake gets the wives off the nookey too

[deepdiver]

i've been married 4 times in Surin...never paid any money for the family, just the party and that's it ... you should look around what is happening around Surin...almost all the girls who come home with a falang works ore worked in a bar somewhere in Thailand...what's happening is that it's like a rule that a falang should pay for everything because we are "ritch" 100 to 250 thausand i've hurd allready, plus house, car etc etc  even a bar/restaurant ... when a girl marries a thai girl, he pais 10 ore 15 thausand bath and a pig's head...my advise..if they want more than 20000 bath tell here to &lt;deleted&gt; off and go and look for a new "love", plenty of them in Thailand...because if you don't pay they will go eventually do there old job again afther a while because your a cheap charlie !!!

good luck !!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

sorry about girl / girl... my finger slipped .. i mean girl marries with thai boy ...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thinking about Ubon, it could of course be boy/boy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

sh*t, now my finger slipped again !!! thanks mate forgot about that one ...