A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The

stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion

Allowed per passenger."

Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one turns to the other and says:

"Dam!".

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the

craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have

your kayak and heat it too.

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root

canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in

the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an

hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't

stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to

a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in

Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of

himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her

husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband

responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

Friars behind on their belfry payments opened a small florist shop to

raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God,a

rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked

the good fathers to close down, but they would not. So, the rival

florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, a thug in town to "persuade" them to

close. Hugh

beat up the Friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if

they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving

that: Only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,which

produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very

little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered

from bad breath. This made him A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by

halitosis.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one turns to the other and says: "Dam!".