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Glitterman Speaks About [H] Glitterman Has A Really Bad Day

glitterman

By glitterman
in Pattaya

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glitterman Senior Member

glitterman

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Thankyou for choosing this 'Glitterman' product. Should you not be completely satisfied with this 'Glitterman' product then, too bad, too late, you have already bumped up my 'views' counter.....Ha ha ha.

The Almighty and powerful Wizard is back again.......Whats that you say?......I am supposed to be dead, never to return?

In my land of cartoon fantasy ANYTHING is possible. If you dont like that excuse then sue me. My address is; Glitterman, 007 Goldielocks house, Soi Goofy, Disneyland Pattaya.

PARABLE 47935; The Parable of the cheese from the moon....yet again.

............And so the Great Golden Glitterman while cycling slowly along Beachroad did happen to see ten very angry Thai men come running towards him. "They look very angry." Thought the Golden One, "What did I write on the forums last night?" As the Thai men neared they started shouting,

"Me cut off felangs beads with me mango knife!"........"me cut off big felang head with me coconut chopper!"

The Golden One quickly got off his bicycle and thought, "I will offer them some of my cheese from the moon, that will calm them down." So the Golden One outstreatched his hand and said to the ten angry approaching Thai men, "This is the body of out savior, me. Peace be with you." But then the Golden One quickly had second thoughts, Dropped the cheese to the floor and ran away with his hands high in the air. But his clumsy boots and big clothing were no match for the Thai men, and soon they caught up with the Golden One. Then the Thai man with the big chopper raised his big chopper into the air and shouted,

"Hooorrraaaay! Gwoooood, gwooooood the Golden man has come help us catch bad felang."

The Golden One looked ahead and saw a ferang running away and said, "Eeeeerrrrr.....yes....I thought I would help catch him for you, what did he do?"

And the Thai man replied, "Felang not pay big money for damage for jetski, 40,000 Baht he must pay. But after he pay us, we splay the small patch with black splay paint for flee....Ha ha ha!"

The Golden One stopped running, slowly turned around and walked back towards his bicycle hearing screams of mercy behind him. But on the way back the Golden One trod on some rotten poor quality cheese that he had dropped earlier, and slipped up on it, far above the clouds and came down upon it with a 'squelch!' and he angrily said, "What idiot left that there......mmmmmm......it tastes like cheese from the moon, I will keep that."

..........Then walking on the Golden One passed a scruffy looking old Thai woman sitting on the roadside curb holding out her hand, and in her outstreched hand was a plastic bowl with a bit of money in it. The Golden One looked at the scruffy lady and said,

"Oh no thankyou scruffy lady, for I have plenty, I am quite rich dont you know." Then he walked on, stopped, put his hand on his trouser pocket then walked back to the scruffy lady and said,

"Actually I do seem to be a little short and all that running has made me hungry, I will just take enough for an ice cream. Then you should offer the rest to those more needy than I."

Then the Golden One reached into the bowl and took out only 15 Baht and not a single Baht more. Then the Golden One popped into Royal Garden Plazas Mac Donalds and purchased an ice cream.

Walking outside Royal Garden Plaza and eating his ice cream the Golden One looked up at the spirraling L.E.D. toys that were being catapulted high into the air by street vendors. But he did not see the toy remote control acrobatic car on the ground and so he stepped on it and slipped up on it, high into the air, far above the clouds, and came down on his ice cream with a 'SPLAT!' Cream squirting onto smilling beautiful girls faces nearby.

Then one strangely large Thai lady came over to the still seated sulking Golden One and said,

"Me lead what you lite on da folums abowd us ladyboys and gay men, you speak no gwood, me no like you."

Then he/she kicked the Golden Ones ass hard, making the Golden One fly fast through the air towards the big advertising television screen above Walking Street gate, loosing his trousers as he flew.

"Oh no, not again!" Said the Golden One as he saw the screen getting bigger. ........"BAAAAAM!"

After the smoke cleared only the lower half of the Golden One was visible. Naked ass and dangling legs sticking out of the middle of the television screen, and the screen still partially working showed an advert for 'Boyz Town' then Tiffanies' then Alcazar'. Then a large crowd quickly gathered below with their clicking cameras. And the Golden One said,

"I am just having a really bad day....OOOEEERRR!......I think too much cheese from the moon has given me a bad case of the runs, take that! and be thankfull."

........And so Golden rain did fall for 40 days and 40 nights and a terrible flood did engulf Pattaya. One week later everyone rejoiced for Pattaya city looked and tasted of golden cheese from the moon..........AMEN.

Moral of this parable is; 'Try some of my cheese from the moonshine.'

If you did not understand this parable, wait a week, there will be another one for you to not understand.

The Royal Glitterman hath Spoken

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surayu Gold Member

surayu

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" Then the Golden One popped into Royal Garden Plazas Mac Donalds and purchased an ice cream. "

...so then you are aware that some serious competition is kicking in, i hope you got all your paperworks sorted because the BiB might start a crackdown soon on street performers too, especially if for example this other bit rusted golden man or his green brother on the opposite exit become a bit worried of the "falang" stealing their potential earnings.....better start downgrading a bit on the feathers side :D or get a diplomatic number plate for your vehicle, you got the flag on already :lol:

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surayu Gold Member

surayu

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....do you think Pattaya is the place for you????

in Brighton wouldn't be exactly the same thing :D no cheese from the moon there, however, maybe you can make it up for the loss with a bit of rock and be carefull to not to fall from the pier, suit you Sir :lol:

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soihok Platinum Member

soihok

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:lol:

That was great!

Best smile on my face since learning that Doncaster were beat 4-0 by Cardiff last night.

As much as everyone is so quick to to give the guy a slagging and tell him how boring he is, I suggest you take a look at your own posts and realise that it is, in fact, yourselves that are sad and boring.

At least this guys posts are entertaining.

The first posts which were , basically , rants are a world away from what he is posting now. Keep it up GM.

Now , where is the moon cheese shop.

473geo...too right.....next!!

Edited by soihok
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473geo Ruby Member

473geo

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You're a joke. A clown.

Clowns in my experience are usually highly trained artistes and practice their routines daily in order to entertain to the highest standard.

Moths to the light indeed ! :whistling:

Indeed here you are again in your circles of helpless desperation.........:lol: :lol: :lol:

Can you ride a unicycle?..........have you ever been entertaining or funny?

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