Nam Kao Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 >>>This is a very generous amount Thats why i wrote "tops". Start negotiations lower, negotiations should include many Changs or gasoline and a match Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveDaBlues Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 ps - Currently I am still in the US and I send 10,000 baht each month to the GF. Before any purchase she tells me how much and gets my okay. This allows me to track where the money goes. Once I'm in Thailand and she is living with me I'll support her and send her parents 6,000 baht each month. I think this is fair.....should allow them to buy some 'extras' they could not afford before. So have you any experience in Thailand? How do you know Thai people so well? Good for you A2396 !! I'd say 4000 to Mom, and 10,000 to wife - tops.Dont take any crap, A Thai husband would put her in a hospital for this BS. Regards Nam This is a very generous amount. Yes, the family have face to keep as their daughter has a farang. What has caused this attitude - suckers giving away heaps of cash.While I was waiting for a songtaew the other day, the somtam lady asked me for some money. I told her to bugger off. She said all farang are rich, and asked if I could find one for her, as I was waiting in the midday heat for the bus, and the day before she was telling me about her husbands brand new car! I have a two year old daughter to look after and she and my wife are number one. We have a budget..it might sound stingy. But spend 1000 baht everyday, 500 for me, 500 for my wife .(plus baby costs) If my wife chooses to spend money on her mother ..it comes out of her money . Likewise mate. Shouldn't the mother in law be giving us money? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Neeranam, yes I have experience in Thailand. I lived there a very short time (2 months). I never said 'I know Thai people so well'. You did. Who really knows 'a people' as a whole? My comments are with regard to my GF and her family. Yes of course they are Thai; but they are individuals also. Your quote, 'suckers giving away heaps of cash.' I don't consider 10,000 baht to be a 'heap of cash'. Maybe to the receivers it is.......good for them I say. Why the story about the somtam lady? Just because some Thai are dishonest all Thai are the same? Get real. There are many con men and women in the United States.....and all over the world. Don't label an entire country based on the bad apples. I have no problem at all with you calling me a sucker......this is your opinion, you are entitled to it. I just don't happen to share it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 I have known my wife for 12 years and we have been married for 5. Before we were married I used to give her 20,000 a month and I never asked her what she did with it. Since we were married we have had a joint bank account and if she is going to spend on something big she will tell me first. As we were married in the UK I never paid sin sot and since I was working in Thailand from 2001 I have given my wife's parents 6,000 a month. Her dad is retired with a small pension and her mother does not work. When we have enough money and her middle brother or her parents need money and ask us for a loan I will always say yes and sometimes it gets paid back and sometimes not. When I was out of work for a couple of years my wife supported us from her savings and her family helped out as well without me saying anything. My wife never asked me to give her family anything but when I offered she suggested the amount. Her family are not poor but certainly not rich and they are caring for my wife's older brothers 2 children as he has left his family. I will try to help them through school and University if I can as I would hope that the family would help my wife and son when I die. We have a small house on our property if her parents want to come up and live with us and as far as I am concerned they ARE my family as my parents are long gone. It is a choice that I made and shared with my wife. I do understand that some people have not been so lucky as me and I feel sorry for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveDaBlues Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 billd766, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Neeranam, yes I have experience in Thailand. I lived there a very short time (2 months). I never said 'I know Thai people so well'. You did. Who really knows 'a people' as a whole? My comments are with regard to my GF and her family. Yes of course they are Thai; but they are individuals also.Your quote, 'suckers giving away heaps of cash.' I don't consider 10,000 baht to be a 'heap of cash'. Maybe to the receivers it is.......good for them I say. Why the story about the somtam lady? Just because some Thai are dishonest all Thai are the same? Get real. There are many con men and women in the United States.....and all over the world. Don't label an entire country based on the bad apples. I have no problem at all with you calling me a sucker......this is your opinion, you are entitled to it. I just don't happen to share it LoveDaBlues, no offense was meant, sorry if any implied. I wasn't calling you a sucker, I was just saying that because of lots of farang near me in Khon Kaen who don't know how much money is worth here, giving wads of cash away to their girlfriends and family, there is an attitude that all farang are millionaires and/or very gullible, as in they joke whenever there is nee for some cash, "ask the farang", or "you need money, go down to bangkok and find yourself a farang". Everyone has heard of a farang that gives heaps of cash away. I don't because quite simply I don't have a lot of money, and if I did would try to stop this attitude of Thai people towards us. I didn't say the somtam lady was dishonest, but actually she is. My mother- in- law, who owns a kindergarten, farm, 2nd hand car business,a couple of restaurants, and very big nightclub(in Khon Kaen), lent her 80,000 baht a year ago(gambling debts) and has never seen a penny of it back, and never will, unless she gets a farang. She is very serious when she says that it doesn't matter coz she is married, farang won't know, doesn't matter if they are old and ugly etc. Maybe I should help her find some sucker and take a cut What I guess is pissing me off is that nearly all Thai people here, when they meet me or my farang friends at first put me into this category(just visiting from abroad and giving all my millions away, being fooled by a Thai woman), and it takes some very harsh words and loss of face for them to realise this is not the case. I mentioned her as her attitude that I must be rich is wrong, why can't she look on me as a foreigner living and working in her country, on local wages with no fortune in my own country. I guess you don't speak Thai, but when you do and hang around with Thais a lot like I have, you will get to see the attitude of Thais towards farang(in general). I am trying to change this attitude, and giving my mother-in-law money will not help. I do alot of work in the community, which you will find gives my family much more face than if I built them a new bloody house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveDaBlues Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Neeranam, no offense taken. Most of your points are good IMO. I can see not giving money to your mother-in-law....sounds like she doesn't need it as she's done quite well! However, my GF's parents are poor. The best way I know to help them is to give them some financial support. I suppose they will look at it in one of two ways.......a gullible farang or someone who wants his GF's parents to enjoy a better life. It would be nice if they perceive me as a nice guy......but it doesn't really matter as the bottom line is they can have a better quality of life. From the time I've spent with them they seem to be a good, hard-working couple. I want them to have a better life. I'm secure with who I am....I don't really care how others perceive me. I've made mine (financially) so to help a few others now is a gift I can afford to give. BTW, I can see where the community work you do would mean a lot to the locals.....makes you seem like one of them rather than an 'outsider' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeRay Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Mother-in-law is 72 and not in a very good health condition.We send her approximately 7500.- Baht a month.She gives about 1500 Baht a month to a daughter of hers to take care of her.A little for living and the rest she is saving.She enjoys to be able to buy little gifts for her grandchildren or support one of her kids once in while with 2000.- Baht. Hospital, medication she pays of her savings,to get a little more help tha that 30 ´Baht traetment. My wife´s family know that we can´t give more as we have a family here in europe.Life´s expensive here.She never believed me while she´s been in Thailand.But since she´s here she knows our budget and how to divide for the month.She learned quicker than me. And of course even Thais know that a 31yo doesn´t make lots of cash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilko Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 I'm also betting that a large percentage of the 'no-givers' have been ripped off creating a negative attitude. Most likely by the GF/Wife. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Nah, they just ain't got no money. Well off guys in Thailand don't mind helping the Family out, after all it's their family too. Well off guys certainly don't care how other people spend their money, even if they are not in the giving situation. The guys that can't afford it tend to play the " I ain't getting ripped of by Thai people" card, to give the impression that they could afford it if they wanted to, but choose not to. I have known miserable old farts in Pattaya living in one room for 15 years who will never visit a Thai family for that very reason. Then they sit outside the same shophouse at the same table in the same seat every day drinking Cheap beer all day, cos they won't go to Bars cos " They ain't paying rip off prices ", complaining about Thailand , Thai people, The heat, The rain, The Girls, The boys, Taxi drivers, stupid farangs that send Thai girls money, free spending tourists " Who %$#@ it up for the rest of us ", spout on about how they could do a much better job of Running a country than any Thai could etc etc.....then they skulk back to their 2500 baht a month fan room where they will eat a Boiled Egg sandwich, cos " They ain't paying 20 baht for a bowl of #%$#@!# soup". No wonder there are so many suicides in Pattaya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heng Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 I have known miserable old farts in Pattaya living in one room for 15 years who will never visit a Thai family for that very reason. Then they sit outside the same shophouse at the same table in the same seat every day drinking Cheap beer all day, cos they won't go to Bars cos " They ain't paying rip off prices ", complaining about Thailand , Thai people, The heat, The rain, The Girls, The boys, Taxi drivers, stupid farangs that send Thai girls money, free spending tourists " Who %$#@ it up for the rest of us ", spout on about how they could do a much better job of Running a country than any Thai could etc etc.....then they skulk back to their 2500 baht a month fan room where they will eat a Boiled Egg sandwich, cos " They ain't paying 20 baht for a bowl of #%$#@!# soup". Boiled egg sandwich. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveDaBlues Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Bilko quote - then they skulk back to their 2500 baht a month fan room where they will eat a Boiled Egg sandwich, cos " They ain't paying 20 baht for a bowl of #%$#@!# soup". ######, give me a couple of names....sounds like they need the cash more than the GF's parents. Of course they'd bad mouth me for not giving enough! 2500 baht fan room - I hope that fan is powerful......drinking beer all day..then the boiled egg sandwich........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaanOz Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Are all your wife's family's members disabled?...otherwise why are you thinking you need to give them money? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Maybe because a few $Oz that is not a great deal - make a big difference. Cheers, BaanOz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loong Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Posts herein reflect the split in humanity between people who are giving in nature and those who are not.I think that I may disagree with this comment. I believe that most people are giving and caring in nature, but some will have been ripped off so badly in the past that they now percieve all Thais as financial predators.The initial posting is, basically impossible to answer as every situation is different. If and what you give is up to you and should in some way reflect your own financial position. If you can afford to, you like the parents and would like to see them have a good life, then why not? I live in a Thai village with modest income compared to most Farang and dont give cash to the parents. Unfortunately I have noted that cash given to the parents tends to be leeched by other family members including cousins, nephews etc, not just immediate family. Me and the gf would rather contribute by buying occasional gifts. Ie refrigerator, washing machine, decent TV. In other words, by actually buying things to improve their standard of life, I believe that we are doing better than just handing over cash. We do, of course, make sure that they have enough to eat and will also buy treats that they would not normally buy themselves. They do get regular payments from gf sister's who are working in Bangkok and are looked after by gf younger brother and wife, who live in the same house. We also help out the younger brother in appreciation for him taking care of the parents. All of the posters out there who think that all Thais are out to rip off all farang have to realise that Thai culture is far removed from ours. Thais with no money expect handouts from those people, Thai or Farang who are better off. Sometimes, though, things go too far. My gf's brother and his wife are Doctors with a joint income of about 40,000 Baht per month and yet they live like paupers due the incessant demands of the wife's family. The gf's wife's sister and husband do very little work and yet live in a better house than the 2 doctors. Totally ridiculous. However, contributions running into millions almost certainly means that someone is being ripped off. A contribution of 5,000 Baht a month is more than enough to make a massive difference in the majority of cases. Maybe the most important thing is that you give an amount that you are comfortable with and stick to it. If you are then pressured into giving more, stand firm. Bilko quote - then they skulk back to their 2500 baht a month fan room where they will eat a Boiled Egg sandwich, cos " They ain't paying 20 baht for a bowl of #%$#@!# soup". 2500 baht fan room - I hope that fan is powerful......drinking beer all day..then the boiled egg sandwich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophon Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Posts herein reflect the split in humanity between people who are giving in nature and those who are not. I think that I may disagree with this comment. I agree with you in disagreeing I also believe that most people here don't mind helping where it's needed and appreciated. I think most would be happy supporting parents that are retired and no longer have an income, or helping out with school fees for younger siblings. I think people start feeling taken advantage of, when what was given with good intentions are not put to good use or not appreciated. Not that the receipiant should be expected to grovle with gratitude, but if gifts are met with ingratitude and demands for more, then I think most people will feel taken advantage of (I know I would ). It's one thing to help support or wanting to give the inlaws a better quality of life, but it's quite another they suddently need a new house, pickup and all the latest in karaoke equipment, all of course paid for by the farang. Also if giving money for a specific and worthy cause (hospital bills, school fees etc.), seeing that money gamled away or given to the freeloading alcoholic younger brother(I know I'm stereotyping here, just trying t make a point ), will make many think twice next time money is needed. Also giving money for the umpteenth time for a business venture that are supposed to help he family take care of themselves, just to see the money get flushed down the drain once again, gets old very quickly. And no, I don't have a girlfriend myself and haven't been taken to the cleaners (yet ). But when I read the posts here, I feel I see a pattern. People who are happy to give seem to be the ones that can see the money make a difference, and feel the gifts are appreciated. Often simply by the receipients making them feel like part of the family, not as a walking ATM). Of course it also makes a difference what your own financial standing is. If you have a monthly income in the hundreds of thousands Baht, then you probably don't care to much what happens with the 10,000 you donate. But if you are retired yourself and living on a modest pension of maybe 40,000 Baht, then giving 10,000 to the family is a big deal, and are emotionally more invested in what happens with the donation. With regards to giving money for the girlfriend/wife, I'm in the "why not" camp. If your girlfriend has a good job she enjoys making enough money for her own (and maybe her family's) needs, then that's great. But if the woman I love is working a dead-end job she hates 10 hours a day, six days a week for very little money, then if I could afford it, I would much rather just give her the money. I also wouldn't enjoy her having to ask (beg) for money every time she needed to buy some little thing. I'm talking about reasonably amounts here, and the same apply as mentioned above about feeling what you give is appreciated, and not just met by ingratitude and ever increasing demands for more (and more, and more...). In the latter case I think it would be wise to think carefully about just why she is staying with you. Just my opinion. I'm sure many will disagree. Sophon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a2396 Posted July 17, 2005 Author Share Posted July 17, 2005 I don't consider the 30,000 bht per month I am giving to be "Cheap Charlie". I alos have no idea what she does with the money and get all sorts of evasive and untruthfull answers when I ask. This will go on for awhile, but there will be a day of reckoning. Posts herein reflect the split in humanity between people who are giving in nature and those who are not.Giving people must reach a place with their Thais that reflects their comfort level and your own. Those who enjoy giving and making others happy by doing so are not "suckers" by definition. except in the lexicon of the ungiving of us. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> This is a re-occuring topic on this forum and this is a great post. Over and over the same negative people pipe in about the suckers being ripped off. I'm inclined to believe these people also don't give to charity or help family members in their home countries. I enjoy giving to the GF and her family because I know where 100% of the money goes......to the family. With charities in the U.S. a lot of the money is gobbled up by administrative costs. I'm also betting that a large percentage of the 'no-givers' have been ripped off creating a negative attitude. Most likely by the GF/Wife. Under this scenerio the negative attitude is understandable. This is sad but no reason to paint all Thai women with the same brush. I know of many, many women here in the United States that constantly want more, more, more from the hubby. And more often than not they get it I hope the 'cheap charlies' get buried with the few bucks they saved from not helping the Wife/GF's family. You can't take the <deleted> money with you.....allow your loved ones to share and have a better life. As to the original poster, from your comments I think you're on the right track. You'll soon figure out what a reasonable amount is. If the wife can't handle you giving a reasonable amount then this makes her.......unreasonable. Then you'll most likely be faced with a much tougher problem. Whatever happens good luck. ps - Currently I am still in the US and I send 10,000 baht each month to the GF. Before any purchase she tells me how much and gets my okay. This allows me to track where the money goes. Once I'm in Thailand and she is living with me I'll support her and send her parents 6,000 baht each month. I think this is fair.....should allow them to buy some 'extras' they could not afford before. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chownah Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Posts herein reflect the split in humanity between people who are giving in nature and those who are not......................................... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That's one one to divide them up. Another way: Posts herein reflect the split in humanity between people who believe that money can't buy you love and those who think that it can. Another way: Posts herein reflect the split in humanity between people who think that Thai people are not capable of obtaining a good life without a foreigner's help and those who know that they can. Another way: Posts herein reflect the split in humanity between people who haven't yet discovered how the money they dole out is spent and those that have. Another way: Posts herein reflect the split in humanity between people who know that a free lunch tends to kill incentive to be productive and those who haven't figured this out yet. There are lot and lots of ways you can divide up people on this issue, you just picked one that tends to be a put down by implying that one side consists of people who are not giving in nature. I picked ones that tend to put down the ones you try to elevate. We are both wrong. Real life is too complex to be trying to divide people into two neat categories....in my opinion...maybe I'm wrong.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loong Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 I don't consider the 30,000 bht per month I am giving to be "Cheap Charlie". I alos have no idea what she does with the money and get all sorts of evasive and untruthfull answers when I ask. This will go on for awhile, but there will be a day of reckoning. 30,000 per month is far from being a cheap charlie. I have actually this year, kept a check on what I spend in the village. A good life for the family costs 17,000 Baht per month. This includes beer, cigarettes, food, fuel for motorbikes and all household expenses including UBC. One week I managed to spend only 1,500 Baht. This is what I spend and I'm not trying to be careful with the cash. It does not include such items as furniture and other such one-off items. I actually spend 30,000 Baht per month in total as do have short trips to Pattaya or other mini holidays. I dont run a car, only 2 motorbikes. Based on what I know, nobody needs to be giving 30,000 Baht per month as a contribution. as you can see from my previous post, a village doctor is on less than 25,000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveDaBlues Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 (edited) Loong - a simple yet great post! I've been hoping there was someone out there who actually TRACKED the living costs....not just made a 'guesstimate'. My GF's family consists of mom,dad,brother,granny, and herself. The have 2 motorbikes,truck,2 mobile phones. She told me they spend around 14,000 baht per month. Based on other posts I was beginning to believe perhaps she was stretching the truth a bit. If you're spending 17,000 I can easily see where their family can come in around 14,000. Once I get back to Thailand I plan on supporting the GF fully (although she still wants to work, up to her) and giving the parents 6,000 baht to help out. To the OP; I have a limited knowledge of Thailand as I only lived there for two months; but I would agree that 30,000 per month is way too much. Cut it down to 15,000 max and see what happens when the brown matter contacts the oscillating impeller. Edited July 17, 2005 by LoveDaBlues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveDaBlues Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Chownah - I agree with what you are trying to say. Because of the complexities things aren't always black and white. However, I choose to (possibly) err on the side of giving. If I later find that most of the money I give is being pissed away then I would stop giving. I want to give a 'helping hand' not full-blown support. The last thing I wish to do is kill the incentive for the parents to work and provide for themselves. I think if someone is giving 30,000 baht each month this is a receipe for disaster. One of the main things the GF and parents kept asking me was 'do you drink?'. None of them do and I'm guessing that they must have relatives with a drinking problem....they seemed really concerned and were happy to find out that I seldom drink. (Of course, by not drinking away my funds maybe they figure I have more to give them!) Ain't life grand in LOS? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnustedt Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 How many million are you talking about and how much just went to nothing. Do you even know the answer? All well and good that you are able to do this but the real point is WHY is anyone EXPECTED to take care of the whole family and just keep doling out money. I can see HELPING but NOT SUPPORTING the family. Actually, I didn't know the answer so I asked my wife. We have spent Baht3 or 4 mill on: 3 pickups for her brothers, a house for her brother in Petchaburi, one for her mother near Sisaket, plus the normal domestic stuff and farming equipment, about 40 rai of land and medical fees for people in the village. She was going to buy a rice harvester last year for Bt3 mill. but decided not to, so that cash is in her a/c in Sisaket - balance now probably about 5mill. Her monthly allowance is Bt100K. I do understand that some people either can't or won't support the family, but I don't understand why they should resent those who can and do. A member of a Thai family is expected to be supportive of the family to the best of his/her ability, it is a part of the Thai culture. If you don't want that responsibility then you shouldn't marry a Thai with traditional Thai values. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
expatinasia Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Charity begins at home - absolutely. However, giving money to someone who is able-bodied and refuses to work, is not charitable. So many posts are people who support the notion that "face" (your's, her's, their's, the family's) is the most important thing ever. You should be worried about another part of your anatomy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zarkow Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Her monthly allowance is Bt100K. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I can be your friend for a mere Bt20K/month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shenanigan Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Actually, I didn't know the answer so I asked my wife. We have spent Baht3 or 4 mill on: 3 pickups for her brothers, a house for her brother in Petchaburi, one for her mother near Sisaket, plus the normal domestic stuff and farming equipment, about 40 rai of land and medical fees for people in the village. She was going to buy a rice harvester last year for Bt3 mill. but decided not to, so that cash is in her a/c in Sisaket - balance now probably about 5mill. Her monthly allowance is Bt100K. god, you must have made a lot of money in the past, did you steal a bank? 0r born from a rich family. Why would you leave your brain home when you came to Thailand anyway? only a Thai girl, you can find anywhere, anytime, no matter how old you are, but it does matter how rich you are!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loong Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 How many million are you talking about and how much just went to nothing. Do you even know the answer? All well and good that you are able to do this but the real point is WHY is anyone EXPECTED to take care of the whole family and just keep doling out money. I can see HELPING but NOT SUPPORTING the family. A member of a Thai family is expected to be supportive of the family to the best of his/her ability, it is a part of the Thai culture. If you don't want that responsibility then you shouldn't marry a Thai with traditional Thai values. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You're absolutely right that Thai families are expected to be supportive of each other. But, and it's a big but, there's a big difference between helping out willingly and being put under pressure to do so. If you are in a position to give your wife an allowance of 100,000 Baht and it is given willingly, then fair enough. Once you have given her the money, it's up to her what she does with it. It is , however often the case that a farang may willingly give an allowance of ,say, 10,000, only to be told that it's not enough and there are constant demands for more. As for myself, I and my family live on 30,000 Baht per month, that is all I have available, so I could not possibly 'help out' more than I do. I envy you your confidence and sense of security. If I was handing over 100,000 Baht every month, then I would never be certain that she was with me for me or my money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendix Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 There's no right or wrong answer to this and I don't think anyone is in a position to judge, condemn or applaud those who give either 0 baht or 100,000 or several million over several years. We are all adults. We make our money and I believe strongly that we are free to do with it whatever we want. That might mean keeping it all and dying rich, or it might mean giving it all away to someone who appreciates it or even who doesnt give a ###### and is just taking advantage of the giver. Either way, it's a purely personal choice and one that we - as adults - are well equipped to take the consequences of, whatever they may be. Whatever happened to the notion of personal accountability for one's actions? As for what I do? Mind your own business Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dude Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 How many million are you talking about and how much just went to nothing. Do you even know the answer? All well and good that you are able to do this but the real point is WHY is anyone EXPECTED to take care of the whole family and just keep doling out money. I can see HELPING but NOT SUPPORTING the family. Actually, I didn't know the answer so I asked my wife. We have spent Baht3 or 4 mill on: 3 pickups for her brothers, a house for her brother in Petchaburi, one for her mother near Sisaket, plus the normal domestic stuff and farming equipment, about 40 rai of land and medical fees for people in the village. She was going to buy a rice harvester last year for Bt3 mill. but decided not to, so that cash is in her a/c in Sisaket - balance now probably about 5mill. Her monthly allowance is Bt100K. I do understand that some people either can't or won't support the family, but I don't understand why they should resent those who can and do. A member of a Thai family is expected to be supportive of the family to the best of his/her ability, it is a part of the Thai culture. If you don't want that responsibility then you shouldn't marry a Thai with traditional Thai values. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Now you are what I call a nobleman, dude. I toss massive respect your way. I don't give a rat's hind qtrs what all the cheapskates think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stumonster Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 A member of a Thai family is expected to be supportive of the family to the best of his/her ability, it is a part of the Thai culture. If you don't want that responsibility then you shouldn't marry a Thai with traditional Thai values. well said pnustedt. regular monthy payments - no - but assistance when and where necessary if its within my power - of course. plus you also must remember that thailand at the moment is going through a rough patch in the economy and the people it is hurting most are the poorer thais. it is up to you and your finances at the time - and people understand that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 (edited) I cut out all the quotes to save space. pnustedt. Good for you. If you are in a position to do this for your family then you are right to do so. For myself I cannot afford that much but I do help out all my wifes family whenever possible and I support her parents with a monthly allowance and help in part to pay for their pickup (newer than ours I must add). They are my wifes family and we both know that if they can help us in any way they will and have done so before. No one put me under any pressure to give the family anything and I feel at 61 years old I can make my own mind up. I don't give my wife any "allowance" but she knows that if she needs anything she can go to the bank and get the money out at anytime. If she does take any she always tells me. A poster mentions that if the wife was getting 100,000 baht a month he would not be sure if it was him or his money she cared about. Well I for one am certain that my wife cares for me more than the money as I am sure many others are as well. When I die I do not want to be known as the richest man in the cemetery, but the one who has enjoyed his life the most with the woman and family who loved him and cared. On the other hand I would like to be as well off as I can to leave it all behind for my wife, for our family and for her family. I can't take it with me but I am more than happy to leave it all behind. It is never the amount of money you spend supporting your wifes family that matters, it is the fact that you do it willingly with what you can. Believe me it will be repaid in many ways other than cash. Edited July 21, 2005 by billd766 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nam Kao Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 >>>Actually, I didn't know the answer so I asked my wife. We have spent Baht3 or 4 mill on: 3 pickups for her brothers, a house for her brother in Petchaburi, one for her mother near Sisaket, plus the normal domestic stuff and farming equipment, about 40 rai of land and medical fees for people in the village. She was going to buy a rice harvester last year for Bt3 mill. but decided not to, so that cash is in her a/c in Sisaket - balance now probably about 5mill. Her monthly allowance is Bt100K Pnustedt, thats alot of dough to be shelling out. Try this experiment just to cover yourself. Tell her there was some type of accident and you lost all your $$$ somehow and cant help out as much and can only give her 10,000/month and sit back and see what happens. If she doesnt bail in a month tell her OH I got my money back. Seriously i would check her. My wife doesnt know how much i have and I cry falang kee nok alot The family/local scavengers call me an "empty well" regards nam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoophound Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 No Wonder falangs are viewed as ATMS. My wife and her sister send 20k a mth back to BKK from Sydney which they cant really afford. The mother is 70 and not able to walk,the father is an alky. We discovered the loser sister and brother were sucking most of this away from mum and dad. The Missus and her SIS say what can we do?? If they dont send mum and dad die!!! Moral of the story,try and pay REAL bills ,and not dole out lumps of cash....Other bloodsucker rellys get it or the gambling rings do. >>>Actually, I didn't know the answer so I asked my wife. We have spent Baht3 or 4 mill on: 3 pickups for her brothers, a house for her brother in Petchaburi, one for her mother near Sisaket, plus the normal domestic stuff and farming equipment, about 40 rai of land and medical fees for people in the village. She was going to buy a rice harvester last year for Bt3 mill. but decided not to, so that cash is in her a/c in Sisaket - balance now probably about 5mill. Her monthly allowance is Bt100KPnustedt, thats alot of dough to be shelling out. Try this experiment just to cover yourself. Tell her there was some type of accident and you lost all your $$$ somehow and cant help out as much and can only give her 10,000/month and sit back and see what happens. If she doesnt bail in a month tell her OH I got my money back. Seriously i would check her. My wife doesnt know how much i have and I cry falang kee nok alot The family/local scavengers call me an "empty well" regards nam <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nam Kao Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 (edited) Amen Snoop.. nam Guys let some t-shirts made to wear around. Like: So Sorry, Baht Moat Me Falang / Not ATM If you Orphan, me Single Me Love you LT, (for ST price) Me want to marry (if your family Buffalo have 30 baht Thai Healthcare plan) If you from Isaan, I cannot buy brother you Nissan Sorry I gave at the Mia Noi -oops I mean office Edited July 21, 2005 by Nam Kao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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