Here are some brilliant one-liners from probably the most naturally funny man that ever lived.

If you have a spare moment, youtube some of his performances.

Even when he passed on - due to heart attack on stage - people thought he was joking!

We miss you Tommy!

Here's some of his classics:

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."

"I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. "

"I went to Bournemouth for the weekend and arrived late a night. I found the first B&B threw a stone at the window and the lady of the house opened up. I said - I wanna stay here for the night - she said - STAY THERE!"

"I called a local builder's yard and said - I wanna skip in my backyard tomorrow. He said - you can do what you want - it's a free country."

"Received a lovely little note from the someone the other day - they were very complimentary - to the extent they left a note on my car. It said PARKING FINE!"

"Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners."

Just brilliant and without the need for profanity!

Edited September 7, 201015 yr by ManInSurat

He certainly has the biggest funny bone ever

Yes he was the greatest,all he at to do was walk on stage and without saying a word everyone would burst out laughing.

True story

A liverpool taxi driver friend of mine picked him up at the airport to take him to a hotel.

He was the taxi drivers idol as well and was really pleased he picked him up.

On arriving at the hotel Tommy got out the cab and paid the fare just as the cabbie was about to pull away

Tommy called him back and put something in the cabbies top pocket saying "you have a little drink on me cabbie".

The cabbie could not wait to get around the corner and check what Tommy had give him.

The cabbie put his hand in his top pocket and pulled out a TEA BAG

Yes he was the greatest,all he at to do was walk on stage and without saying a word everyone would burst out laughing.

True story

A liverpool taxi driver friend of mine picked him up at the airport to take him to a hotel.

He was the taxi drivers idol as well and was really pleased he picked him up.

On arriving at the hotel Tommy got out the cab and paid the fare just as the cabbie was about to pull away

Tommy called him back and put something in the cabbies top pocket saying "you have a little drink on me cabbie".

The cabbie could not wait to get around the corner and check what Tommy had give him.

The cabbie put his hand in his top pocket and pulled out a TEA BAG

Great post guys..can't beat the oldies hugh...Spike Milligan is another favorite

My best mate years ago was always doing the wavy hand in front of the face ...."just like that" "just like that" a Tommy Cooper trade mark ...

thanks