Vacation amazement led to doctoral thesis on Thai wives

Around 2,000 Finnish men have taken a Thai spouse

By Riitta Vainio

A few years ago, when Hannu Sirkkilä was on what was his first and so far only tourist visit to Thailand, he quickly observed an interesting fact: a considerable number of Western men going around with a Thai woman.

A further observation was that the older the Western gent, the younger was the Thai woman accompanying him. Men in their fifties and older would often be walking arm-in-arm with a woman twenty years younger.

Sirkkilä's wonderment at this phenomenon was so great that he resolved to base his social sciences doctoral dissertation on the subject. The dissertation - given the English title "Breadwinner or eroticism. How Finnish men legitimatise their partnerships with Thai women" was examined at the University of Jyväskylä last Friday.

At present there are roughly 2,000 Thai wives in Finland.

"I wondered how the relationship could work, given the massive cultural, behavioural, and religious differences, the language problem, and the living standard differential involved. I also wondered at why it was a Thai woman in particular", explains Sirkkilä.

He responds to his own query directly: "Thai women have been eroticised, sexualised, and exoticised."

However, in the interviews with males that form the empirical material for the study, sex did not come through in any dramatic fashion. In the case of older men, having a Thai wife has livened up their sex-life, but younger respondents stressed in their interviews the differences between Finnish and Thai sexual habits and mores. They describe a Thai wife as restrained and with high morals.

Sirkkilä carried out interviews with 18 men in Finnish-Thai married relationships. Many of them said that they had been interested in Thailand and its people and culture already before they found a spouse from the country.

Any sex-tourism experiences from earlier visits to Thailand were not spoken about with any great gusto or willingness.

The beginnings of the relationship that led to marriage were described by the men generally as "ordinary", without any powerful sense of falling in love. A few of the men had fallen for and married a prostitute from whom they had bought sex.

The author categorises the Finnish men with Thai wives into three generational groups: the oldest, men over fifty, describe their relationship as being a very traditional one. These men tended to have negative experiences of Finnish women and of the gender equality that is found locally.

The men expressed satisfaction with the clear division of labour in the new relationship and with the Thai wife's readiness to dedicate herself to housework. Such clearly-defined breadwinner-housewife relationships have hitherto been relatively uncommon in the Finnish experience.

Men in younger middle-age said the relationship rested upon the Finnish sense of equality between the sexes. The man regards himself as the breadwinner only temporarily.

Among the youngest Finnish spouses, the interviewees suggested that they took a "post-modern" flexible view towards gender differences. They are also less prone to prejudices and stereotypes than their older colleagues.

In the view of many of the subjects, Finnish-Thai relationships do not generally function smoothly, and they very often end in separation and divorce. Nevertheless, they described their own relationships as working well enough.

Problems are caused by the lack of a common language and by money-issues, in particular the fact that money has to be sent back to the wife's family in Thailand.

The men stressed their commitment to the relationship. Dealing with the Finnish authorities on matters like the wife's residence permit to live in Finland has increased their sense of responsibility.

Sirkkilä says that it is not possible to define the specific Finnish male genotype who would be particularly prone to taking a Thai bride.

He estimates that the spread of Finnish-Thai couple relationships and their observed generational differences are an indicator of changes in male attitudes and in masculinity.

Helsingin Sanomat / First published in print 18.6.2005

http://www.helsinginsanomat.fi/

Thought this thread was about how many of us married fish

My missus says I drink like one

Sorry to spoil your gag, Dragonman. Topic title edited for clarity.

Scouse.