Glitterman Speaks About [L] Glittermans Cheese From The Moon Helps The Thai Army Defeat A Fleet Of U.F.O. S

[glitterman]

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.Thank you for choosing this Glitterman product. This product was made in Thailand, so you may find the top head part missing or defective.

The almighty and Powerful Wizard is back yet again, and gives you;

PARABLE 94782647599873610048733647987365278476777365 Parable of the 'Cheese from the moon'....yet again.

................And so, cycling along Pattaya's Beach Road one day, the Great Golden Glitterman did happen to see 30 Thai Army tanks standing still in the road, with all their guns pointed out towards the sea. An Army Officer did come running towards the Golden One shouting,

"Save us O Great Golden Glitterman, for we are just about to be attacked by U.F.O.s , but all our tank shells are made in Thailand, so duds."

The golden One smiled and said,

"Fear not Mr Army man, for as you know I am the Great Golden Glitterman, righter of wrongs, wronger of rights, and I have an idea. I just happen to have 60 large crates of cheese from the moon on the back of my bicycle."

.....And as the 500 rather small U.F.O.s approached beach Road, the Golden One raised his white gloved hand and shouted "Fire!"

...SPLODGE!....SPLODGE!.....SPLODGE!.....Soon all the spaceships were covered in cheese from the moon and defeated, and lying upon Pattayas beach sand like dead jellyfish.

"Hoooraay, we won!" shouted the entire Thai Army

Suddenly the lid from one of the spaceships began moving, unscrewing. Two feet of shiny screw metal protuded when suddenly, the lid fell off. The Army gasped in amazement as a voice from within the spaceship was heard,

"Helloooo, welcaaam," It said, "Sit down please, one dliiink, I go wiv yoooou, were you go daleeeeeeeeen.?"

Then out of the spaceship popped up a bar girl. Then other bar girls appeared from out of their space ships. They all grouped together and said,

"Why you do like dis? We make ship out of beer bottle tops and old chrome poles to take us to da moon to get moon cheese for da golden One.....Where is he?"

The Golden One appeared from behind a tank and said,

"Oh hello girls, I was just checking this tanks engine. My, what lovely saucers you all have, small, but still nice."

Then the bar girl leader looked at the Golden One and said,

"You have big money, Me have sick buffalo in E-Sarn. Now you give me 50,000 baht, make him better."

And the Golden One said,

"Yes, certainly, I hope your buffalo gets better soon, here you are." and handed her the money.

Then another bar girl said, "my buffalo is sick too."

and another one said "so is mine, and so is my papas, actually I have 10 buffaloes, thats....er....4000 Baht please."

then the first bar girl said,

"F-----g bullshit, You only give me 49,000 Baht, you cheap charlie, me no like kenial."

So the Golden One reached into his pocket to get another 1000 Baht. But the bar girl thought he was going for a gun, and so zapped the Golden One with a home made laser made from an over powered red laser pointer. 'ZAAAP', But the ray bounced off the Golden Ones highly reflective gold coat and hit a bunch of coconuts in a palm tree. Causing one coconut to fall into a spaceship and hit the controlls. With the moon cheese already melted off by the hot sun, the pilotless spaceship zoomed of towards the Thai tanks.

"Lun, Lun!" Shouted the Thai Army as the spaceship whipped off the turrets from 4 tanks. Thence after a huge war did commence.

"ZAP.....BANG......BOOM....SPLODGE!"

The Golden One slyly slipped away, doing kung Foo Karate poses to nobody. While also kissing his face mirror and singing out loud 'Hotel california'. But a few seconds later a huge hand scooped up the Golden One and lifted him high into the air. The Golden One frooze with terror as he starred straight into the face of a huge ugly 80 foot alien, and glancing over the aliens shoulders he saw a huge spaceship with the country I.D. sticker 'Mars' on it.

"Er.....Hello Mr Alien", Said the Golden One, "you must of seen the bar girls coming from the moon and followed them to earth, My what big teeth you have, try some of my moon che...." With a 'GULP!' then a 'BURP' the alien swallowed the Golden One. But a few seconds later the Golden One emerged out of the puzzled aliens ass and said,

"Oooppps!, I left my beautiful hat inside." So the Golden One crawled back up inside the aliens ass. Then emerged a few seconds later wearing something brown on the top of his head.

"Thats not it." Said the amused alien, "I do not know what that is, but it is not your hat."

The Golden One throwing the brown object to the floor said,

"Oh, so now you speak English, do you. Well it dark in there and full of tunnels, any directions?"

"Turn left as soon as you are inside". said the alien.

So back up inside the Golden One went, and after 5 minuits of losing his way, found his hat. But just then a mouthful of 40 bar girls and 40 thai soldiers slid down the aliens throat to land on top of the Golden one.

"F-----g bullshit", said one bar girl " first you only give me 49,000 baht, now big felang alien with no hair eat me, I boxing you na."

And the Golden one said,

"Fear not, for I am the Great Golden Glitterman, and I have an idea. If we hang around in this aliens stomache for a while then we should be on Mars within the hour. Mars is a red planet because of the vast amount of small unshelled red nuts lying on the ground. I could write a whole new series on the parables of 'Nuts from Mars'. Actually it could well be alien shit on the ground instead of nuts. Never mind, I could write 'shit parables'...like this one.

"Yeeeaaahh! gwoood idea." said all the bar girls "we will go short and long time with all the big sexy man aliens. Bling back big money for my...er...sick buffalo".

"Yeeeaaahhh! gwoood idea." said all the Thai Army, "We will fight them and win, I like to eat marsipan, so we will call our new conquered land NARSE-PORN. The Narse- part is a reverse play on the name E-Sarn. It will be a play boys world. Built from the money from the bar girl trade. Pattaya on steroids.

The Golden one smiled and kissed his face mirror and said,

"You will be the Adam and Eve, and I fancy myself as King of Mars."

"Yeah!, You fancy yourself alright." said a bar girl. The Golden one Glared at her angrily.

.......And so, leaving Pattaya, Thailand, the World and enjoying a wonderful cheese from the moon tea party inside the aliens stomache they all sped off towards Mars. Smug that history would soon be in the making.

"Whats that sound, it sounds like a waterfall, maybe we have reached Mars already", said an exited soldier.

""Thats not waterfall", Yelled one bar girl, "Alien in da toilet."

"Well as long as he is not ON the toilet then we are all okay", Yelled back the Golden One. "And I do not fancy myself....Well maybe just a litt..." PLOP...FLUSH'

......And so, all having been flushed out of the spaceship, forever doomed to orbit the earth, the Golden satalite gave that beautiful Golden man smile, kissed his face mirror and said,

"Fear not, for I am the Great Golden Glitterman, and I have an idea..........."

AMEN.

MORAL OF THE PARABLE IS; When you are up to your eyes in shit, keep your mouth shut.

Coming sooner or later; 'Glittermans nuts from Mars'

The Royal Glitterman hath Spoken.

http://stickmanweekly.com/StickmanBangkokW...Golden-Cape.htm

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[bojo]

Please 'keep 'em comin'!!

regards

Bojo

[JSixpack]

We can only hope that "Glitterman Speaks About [Z] . . . " will be the last of this grammar school drivel.

[473geo]

We can only hope that "Glitterman Speaks About [Z] . . . " will be the last of this grammar school drivel.

Maybe he also knows the greek alphabet, so he is in good shape to keep up the entertainment...... ........then of course there's the Thai alphabet........

[highchol]

Please 'keep 'em comin'!!

regards

Bojo

will second that, entertaining stuff

[William Osborne]

...

Edited October 6, 2010 by William Osborne

[Michaelaway]

"Pattaya's showman on wheels and broadband, that damned elusive Glitter-man..."

Baroness Emmuska Orczy

[Boater]

am i the only person to notice, Glitterman is speaking to Bargirls !!! , and he didnt even wipe them out with a massive tirel wave ! , maybe his next instalment will be with Gays??? ... sure is a twist to the Glitterman Tales

[neverdie]

Please 'keep 'em comin'!!

regards

Bojo

will second that, entertaining stuff

Some people are easily entertained.

[William Osborne]

sorry ? but is it only me that finds glitterman funny as you would like a retarded person... sure its funny looking at them making those spastic movements but really, being a full blown retard is not very funny, i hope he isn't taking advantage of the retarded community just so to get a bit of attention

Edited October 6, 2010 by William Osborne

[neverdie]

sorry ? but is it only me that finds glitterman funny as you would like a retarded person... sure its funny looking at them making those spastic movements but really, being a full blown retard is not very funny, i hope he isn't taking advantage of the retarded community just so to get a bit of attention

Hes about as funny as a house full of burning babies.

[William Osborne]

sorry ? but is it only me that finds glitterman funny as you would like a retarded person... sure its funny looking at them making those spastic movements but really, being a full blown retard is not very funny, i hope he isn't taking advantage of the retarded community just so to get a bit of attention

Hes about as funny as a house full of burning babies.

IMHO... i think he is as funny as advanced lung cancer...

[actiondell4]

Love it,thanks Glitterman,more for me please .

How does Glitterman get his income ?

[coutsa]

I espeacially love the Glittermans quote of,

"MORAL OF THE PARABLE IS; When you are up to your eyes in shit, keep your mouth shut."

Love the glitterman and his moon cheese

[Michaelaway]

sorry ? but is it only me that finds glitterman funny as you would like a retarded person... sure its funny looking at them making those spastic movements but really, being a full blown retard is not very funny, i hope he isn't taking advantage of the retarded community just so to get a bit of attention

He isn't. What's your excuse...?

Edited October 7, 2010 by Michaelaway

[actiondell4]

Does Glitterman own a business or he just survives on his own income?

He is very witty and funny.