Never Wai A Waitress

[ChiangMaiFun]

I do not wai waitressses (getting back to the original thread) nor would they expect me to - when they do it it is respect for the customer - a hello or thank you. A nod of the head is sufficient - wai-ing waitresses or bar staff is pretty absurd. Its an unconcious thing that you learn when to do and when not to do when you have lived here a number of years.

that is the most absurd thing i've read on Thaivisa... you need to get off your high horse..

I have read some absurd things on Thai Visa, this isn't even close.

CMF is right, you don't wai waitresses normally, a nod is sufficient I usually smile too if I am happy about the meal. But that doesn't mean I would never wai a waitress. If she had done something specifically nice like telling me I left my bag or wallet or something, or if I knew her personally I would wai. You wouldn't shake a waitresses hand after a meal in the west would you?

yep... there's the key word

like i say.. don't pretend to be Thai.. cos you aint !

a wai with a grin and a wink is great.. especially to the one recieving it.. whether they are cleaning your toilet or handing you a 1million baht cheque (quit thinking about yourselves ppl, & how you will look to others in the room..)

"a wai with a grin and a wink is great.." - you just don't 'get it' - so no point continuing this discussion - you carry on winking and wei-ing to everyone as it obviously makes you feel very superior - but you have fundamentally mis-understood the culture - as they say 'up to you'.

BTW I agree we are not Thai - so stop 'wei-ing' and start handshaking? after all you are not Thai so stop pretending - cos you ain't!

Edited October 22, 2010 by ChiangMaiFun

[Goshawk]

"a wai with a grin and a wink is great.." - you just don't 'get it' - so no point continuing this discussion.

hahahaha... i get a lot more than you my troublesome friend. When you've spent as much time as i have living in very rural remote jungle areas of Thailand for years on end, you kind of pick up what works with most people here, regardless of what it might say in your textbook/guidebook. Throw it away and discover the reality..

the wai with a grin and a wink technique was shown to me by an old pu yai baan... it made him pu yai baan... ya dig ? (guess not..)

[kropotkin]

sorry - i do not get your point.

if waiing means i respect you, because you are the one that pays, i not want to be waied.

especially not in a so called buddhist country.

and - same same - i do not wish to be treated differently from my wife when i am in europe - but that happens seldom.

and we never told the hiso doctor that i , not my wife, was going to 'check bill'

hiso upstarts with loso intelligence .............

we had them in europe too ...... OK....... we still have them .....huhuhuhu

I can hardly understand your English let alone your points - you obviously have zero understanding of the culture here. If you think they are 'hiso' upstarts (whatever that means) why marry one? and go home!

"why marry one", one what? i did not marry a thai hiso; no, i married a thai loso - and we are both proud of that.

if you wish, we can use another language, since you say you do not understand my english --- ok tell me what other languages you speak, i speak several.

and you do not understand my points ?

sorry for you - may i guess? - fan of HRH thatcher ?

You do not understand "hiso" and "loso" ? When did you arrive on this planet? Do not tell me you spent more then 1 second in Thailand. Are you at swampy now?

Ask any thai what hiso and loso means. NO NO NO Stop, no, not any thai - do not ask Mark and his friends, they may feel offended.

And do not google hiso and loso, try to google upper class twit or monty python or posh, or if you are adventureous karl marx or better even, kropotkin - but i am not sure that is allowed in thailand.

And if you do not understand my english, as you stated before, sorry for that, shall we speak french? german? dutch? catalan? norsk?

Keep up the stiff upper lip, chap!

hiso? loso? what the hel_l is that? even Google brings up nothing - Thatcher? what are you talking about? what's Thatcher (who I did not like actually) got to do with wei-ing and your obvious hatred of Thais and Thai culture? you married a Thai right? can't she teach you the rudimentaries of Thai culture? bet she's frightened of your 'amiable' personality?

[kropotkin]

I must have done something wrong in the last post huhuhu

Sorry.

My comment is the paragraph BEFORE the last comment........

I honestly could not live with the idea that some readers might think that i wrote that last paragraph.

[tombkk]

I do not wai waitressses (getting back to the original thread) nor would they expect me to - when they do it it is respect for the customer - a hello or thank you. A nod of the head is sufficient - wai-ing waitresses or bar staff is pretty absurd. Its an unconcious thing that you learn when to do and when not to do when you have lived here a number of years.

that is the most absurd thing i've read on Thaivisa... you need to get off your high horse..

Its standard - go read some books on Thai culture - if it's the most absurd thing you have read on TV you have not been reading very much! no high horse here friend - I have respect for Thai culture and think I pretty much well understand 'when' to wei - as in temples, meeting people etc. anyone who wei's a waitress has not understood the cultre and it's application - go read and you may understand what I was trying to convey. I only see tourists wei-ing to waitresses normally.

I agree with you.

But coming back to the OP, the tourist that wais the waitress is just trying to comply with the culture. While he may have gotten it wrong, he has at least tried. Some of the posters in this thread have explained that they won't even try. That's what I fnd troublesome.

[tombkk]

I must have done something wrong in the last post huhuhu

Sorry.

My comment is the paragraph BEFORE the last comment........

I honestly could not live with the idea that some readers might think that i wrote that last paragraph.

You have not quoted anything, and that may some readers (including myself) wonder what you are talking about.

[sarahsbloke]

its not exactly the same as handshake but close - people will wai in place of the handshake many times when first meeting and in other contexts they wai as respect - and, yes, sometimes they may wai in submission but it's not normal nor is it common.

Any-wei - can we move on?

It's more like 'forelock touching' than 'hand shaking' in western culture.

To wei someone first, is a sign of subservience .... no respect, to return a wei (or nod your head) is acknowledgement of their subservience to you.

[ChiangMaiFun]

its not exactly the same as handshake but close - people will wai in place of the handshake many times when first meeting and in other contexts they wai as respect - and, yes, sometimes they may wai in submission but it's not normal nor is it common.

Any-wei - can we move on?

It's more like 'forelock touching' than 'hand shaking' in western culture.

To wei someone first, is a sign of subservience .... no respect, to return a wei (or nod your head) is acknowledgement of their subservience to you.

Yes depending on circumstances (this would not be the case to a monk for example - but would be to your boss)

Any-wei we have done this thread wei too long so a-wei with it!

[GarryP]

I was waied by a waitress the other day. This thread immediately came to mind and I told her not to move while I consulted the guru's on TV as to what I should do. She's probably still waiting for me now.

[tombkk]

I was waied by a waitress the other day. This thread immediately came to mind and I told her not to move while I consulted the guru's on TV as to what I should do. She's probably still waiting for me now.

We'll happily give advice but we need some more facts:

1. How old was she (at the time) and how old were you?

2. Is she some influentual person who can make you rich, extend your visa, or get you some food?

3. Is she good-looking? If so, what is her telephone number?

[Blackandwhite]

I guess this is still running as people are still trying to work out the reason there was such concern by the OP over this Wai topic, to me still down to you, you want to do cool do it, you think your better position in society gives you the right not to then don't do it, either way the majority of Thais will not care either way or worry about it in any way shape or form, up to you !!!!