How To Keep Ur Married Life Fresh&hot?

[Girlfrombar]

i read the topic: "What are the secrets of happy marriage" in Joke forum and i'm doubt about it.....

can the married person fall in love again? but with someone else who isn't ur spouse....

i know it's the thin line between being of cheat or betray and staying faithful

and i also think the betrayal always ends up with the tragedy

but lately, i MYSELF feel something is missing in my 1 year(only-i know) married life

i think we know each other TOO WELL so we are likely friends, we share everything, we are in the same generation so we get each other's traits/interests/wits/jokes etc.. and the cultures and customs are slightly the trouble

the trouble is me myself

sometimes i can't help but envy my single girl friends, who always want to find the right&true love (we are alike but now i'm a bit ahead them coz i'm the only one in group who get married!)

i want to have those kinds of feeling again... the feeling of adolescence... when u fall in love for the first time... when u have first kiss or kiss someone for the first time that made u shiver... when u really stunned by someone with no lust or loneliness or drunk...

can people just have the love affair without hurting their loved one,

MORALLY POSSIBLE??

GFB.

[BambinA]

How To Keep Ur Married Life Fresh&hot?

keep it in the fridge after then nuked it in Mcwave

heheh , im joking ja

Ciao

BB

[Jockstar]

i read the topic: "What are the secrets of happy marriage" in Joke forum and i'm doubt about it.....

can the married person fall in love again? but with someone else who isn't ur spouse....

i know it's the thin line between being of cheat or betray and staying faithful

and i also think the betrayal always ends up with the tragedy

but lately, i MYSELF feel something is missing in my 1 year(only-i know) married life

i think we know each other TOO WELL so we are likely friends, we share everything, we are in the same generation so we get each other's traits/interests/wits/jokes etc.. and the cultures and customs are slightly the trouble

the trouble is me myself

sometimes i can't help but envy my single girl friends, who always want to find the right&true love (we are alike but now i'm a bit ahead them coz i'm the only one in group who get married!)

i want to have those kinds of feeling again... the feeling of adolescence... when u fall in love for the first time... when u have first kiss or kiss someone for the first time that made u shiver... when u really stunned by someone with no lust or loneliness or drunk...

can people just have the love affair without hurting their loved one,

MORALLY POSSIBLE??

GFB.

Its not easy. But only you and the other half can make it work. Sure the grass is always greener but if things are getting a bit boring. Then spice it up. Surprise him/her in someway. But dont cross that line.ie CHEAT, It will only end in tears. Good luck.

[markuk]

The way to keep your marriage fresh and hot is to change your wife every 2 years!!

[Braccobaldo]

The way to keep your marriage fresh and hot is to change your wife every 2 years!! 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

...every three months is much more better...

[pluto_manibo]

Maybe this will spice your relationship up.....What if your boyfriend feels the same and has already acted upon it. Would you still feel like hanging out with your girlfriends on "Prince Charming quests"? If no, then you are just bored...If,yes then the marriage is going tits up.....Just reverse the roles and explore your feelings....You hold the answer young grasshopper

[Girlfrombar]

How To Keep Ur Married Life Fresh&hot?

keep it in the fridge after then nuked it in Mcwave

heheh , im joking ja

Ciao

BB

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

eheheh

i dont like frozen food and recooked after!

The way to keep your marriage fresh and hot is to change your wife every 2 years!! 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

mah!

marriage is maybe fun, but i meant the life after that!

and i'm not quite sure how long i would still can get the groom when i cross to 30!

[baht&sold]

Maybe this will spice your relationship up.....What if your boyfriend feels the same and has already acted upon it. Would you still feel like hanging out with your girlfriends on "Prince Charming quests"? If no, then you are just bored...If,yes then the marriage is going tits up.....Just reverse the roles and explore your feelings....You hold the answer young grasshopper 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Great response Jock's as well.

Reminds me of that corny old song "Pina Colada"

I was tired of my lady

We'd been together too long

Like a worn-out recording

Of a favorite song

So while she lay there sleeping

I read the paper in bed

And in the personal columns

There was this letter I read:

"If you like Pina Coladas

And getting caught in the rain

If you're not into yoga

If you have half a brain

If you'd like making love at midnight

In the dunes on the Cape

Then I'm the love that you've looked for

Write to me and escape."

I didn't think about my lady

I know that sounds kind of mean

But me and my old lady

Have fallen into the same dull routine

So I wrote to the paper

Took out a personal ad

And though I'm nobody's poet

I thought it wasn't half bad

"Yes I like Pina Coladas

And getting caught in the rain

I'm not much into health food

I am into champagne

I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon

And cut through all this red-tape

At a bar called O'Malley's

Where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes

And she walked in the place

I knew her smile in an instant

I knew the curve of her face

It was my own lovely lady

And she said, "Oh it's you."

Then we laughed for a moment

And I said, "I never knew."

That you like Pina Coladas

Getting caught in the rain

And the feel of the ocean

And the taste of champagne

If you'd like making love at midnight

In the dunes of the Cape

You're the lady I've looked for

Come with me and escape...

Ok, corny, cheesy, I know but maybe you guys (op & partner) have to try to find what ignited you and inspired your attraction in the first place?

Edited July 31, 2005 by baht&sold

[Girlfrombar]

can people just have the love affair without hurting their loved one,

MORALLY POSSIBLE??

GFB.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

just not to miss the point,

i may reask just this doubt

[siamesekitty]

can people just have the love affair without hurting their loved one,

MORALLY POSSIBLE??

GFB.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

IMO, not unless they are in one of those "open" relationships (swinging couple, polygamous marriage, etc..). But for the typical relationship, NO; it will hurt your partner. Even if it is just "pen choo tang jai". And sometimes it even hurts the guilty party as well, as it weighs heavily on their conscience.

[meom]

Maybe it's time to get pregnant.

[baht&sold]

Bullseye Kitty and in the same vein, Jock called it correct-

But dont cross that line.ie CHEAT, It will only end in tears. Good luck.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Girlfrombar]

Maybe this will spice your relationship up.....What if your boyfriend feels the same and has already acted upon it. Would you still feel like hanging out with your girlfriends on "Prince Charming quests"? If no, then you are just bored...If,yes then the marriage is going tits up.....Just reverse the roles and explore your feelings....You hold the answer young grasshopper 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Great response Jock's as well.

Reminds me of that corny old song "Pina Colada"

I was tired of my lady

We'd been together too long

Like a worn-out recording

Of a favorite song

So while she lay there sleeping

I read the paper in bed

And in the personal columns

There was this letter I read:

"If you like Pina Coladas

And getting caught in the rain

If you're not into yoga

If you have half a brain

If you'd like making love at midnight

In the dunes on the Cape

Then I'm the love that you've looked for

Write to me and escape."

I didn't think about my lady

I know that sounds kind of mean

But me and my old lady

Have fallen into the same dull routine

So I wrote to the paper

Took out a personal ad

And though I'm nobody's poet

I thought it wasn't half bad

"Yes I like Pina Coladas

And getting caught in the rain

I'm not much into health food

I am into champagne

I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon

And cut through all this red-tape

At a bar called O'Malley's

Where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes

And she walked in the place

I knew her smile in an instant

I knew the curve of her face

It was my own lovely lady

And she said, "Oh it's you."

Then we laughed for a moment

And I said, "I never knew."

That you like Pina Coladas

Getting caught in the rain

And the feel of the ocean

And the taste of champagne

If you'd like making love at midnight

In the dunes of the Cape

You're the lady I've looked for

Come with me and escape...

Ok, corny, cheesy, I know but maybe you guys (op & partner) have to try to find what ignited you and inspired your attraction in the first place?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

the problem is ME MYSELF, i guess

everything is fine, except I

i just wanna feel falling in love once again but not with my life partner

we are far honeymooner, i love him and he loves me, still

we still share everything, passion is still there..

i just wonder if anybody ever feels like what i do at time

and if yes, how u manage it

[Girlfrombar]

Maybe it's time to get pregnant.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

55555555555

made me laugh to death,

but no, we dont want children sir!

[meom]

Maybe it's time to get pregnant.

55555555555

made me laugh to death,

but no, we dont want children sir!

Up to you My other suggestion would be to buy a box of chocolates and the Kama Sutra.

[Teach]

Girlfrombar???????

Some things don't sit right.

1. You post wanting to know how to maintain your "Hot" relationship yet state there is no trouble in the bedroom.

2. You state 'not wanting kids - Why marry

3. Your Avatar name might suggest some streotyping.

Did you marry in a hurry for the security aspect, not anticipating the rules of the game.

Are you tired of the above now that you have acquired that security.

Perhaps if you wish to spice up your marrital encounters you should try going back to basics. Why not take the 'Marriage' out of the bedroom and into other less traditional arena's like a STH.

Teach

[Girlfrombar]

IMO, not unless they are in one of those "open" relationships (swinging couple, polygamous marriage, etc..). But for the typical relationship, NO; it will hurt your partner. Even if it is just "pen choo tang jai". And sometimes it even hurts the guilty party as well, as it weighs heavily on their conscience.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

TRUE....

now i become to understand the swinging and polygamy

when i was younger, i used to strongly agianst this kind of disloyalty (i came from seperated parents family)

but now i think my attitudes have changed, as being older by time

i can't help but fear that i would do something i used to hate&holler

like when u say bad about something, but eventually, u are or do just exactly like that! (the bullet u shot, turned back to screw urself)

[siamesekitty]

the problem is ME MYSELF, i guess

everything is fine, except I

i just wanna feel falling in love once again but not with my life partner

we are far honeymooner, i love him and he loves me, still

we still share everything, passion is still there..

i just wonder if anybody ever feels like what i do at time

and if yes, how u manage it

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sounds like the girl who my now ex-bf had an affair with. She'll be getting married soon, but her bf (of 6? 8? years) is an unromantic, boring workaholic. She too, yearned to have romantic feelings with someone else, and she did, with my guy.

It's normal for people to want to "fall in love" again, there have been scientific studies showing that when you fall in love, your brain secretes chemicals that make you feel good.

Addicted to Love? A Biochemical Reaction May Be the Cause

an excerpt:

We are all familiar with the rush of falling head over heels in love. It’s intoxicating. And when PEA levels are high, adrenaline is pumping overtime and love is blind. Some people are more sensitive to PEA than others, however, and some people seem to be deficient in the hormone. This leads to bleeding hearts and Cassanovas. When people are too sensitive to PEA or their levels are too high, they can become infatuated at the drop of a hat and suffer psychiatric disorders (certainly not depression, though). And if someone lacks sufficient quantities of PEA they feel a near-constant urge to press on to the next seduction. These types of people also seek out risky hobbies such as sky diving and rock climbing.

Is there hope for any reluctant Casanovas out there? Well, until the women’s movement raises enough funds to innoculate every male with extra PEA, those thrill seeking urges can be pacified by consuming products that naturally contain high levels of PEA. Chocolate is jam packed with PEA, and rumor has it that eating a pound of chocolate gives you the same elated feeling as taking a hit off a joint. One lady recently complained to me that her boyfriend wasn’t giving her as much affection as she was used to getting from him. After asking a few questions, I learned that he had recently stopped drinking alcohol and had switched to eating a lot of chocolate bars and smoking dope. Well, at least she won’t have to worry about him stepping out on her.

[TRIPxCORE]

can people just have the love affair without hurting their loved one,

MORALLY POSSIBLE??

GFB.

NO! Unless your spouse has approved it, absolutely not.

If you were not ready to be married or you still want to play, you should have not gotten married, it's that simple. Sounds to me like the passion in your marriage is gone and you are looking for that great feeling of being with someone new. Many people feel this way but it's mostly men who act on it in my experience. Believe me, it's perfectly normal these feelings you're having. Lot's of people share the same feeling you have but if you love your husband and want to stay married to him, do not cheat.

[Girlfrombar]

Girlfrombar???????

Some things don't sit right.

1. You post wanting to know how to maintain your "Hot" relationship yet state there is no trouble in the bedroom.

2. You state 'not wanting kids - Why marry

3. Your Avatar name might suggest some streotyping.

Did you marry in a hurry for the security aspect, not anticipating the rules of the game.

Are you tired of the above now that you have acquired that security.

Perhaps if you wish to spice up your marrital encounters you should try going back to basics. Why not take the 'Marriage' out of the bedroom and into other less traditional arena's like a STH.

Teach

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

thank you teach to spot the right

i know my post sounded a bit confusing (YES. I AM!)

1. yah, that's why i reasked this:

can people just have the love affair without hurting their loved one,

MORALLY POSSIBLE??

really, no bed trouble, as i said, we still share everything and the passion is still there

2. it's just the right time/thing to marry... my family would be happy about it, he's the 1st&right man for me, we love, we bond, and yes it's also about security aspect.. EU resident permit

(we used to have long distance relationship for 3yrs, fly over the ocean to each other 2-3times a year, but before that we were friends since '96)

3. girlfrombar is surely so sterotype pseudonym, and we people judge, but i just like this nick, it's from song+book and the bar isn't only go-go type bar

actually, our marriage is really basic and simple, we dont even do the promised ring stuff, and i myself dont give meaning much about marriage (so doesnt he), just the ceremony

we can either marry or not to marry

[Girlfrombar]

Sounds like the girl who my now ex-bf had an affair with. She'll be getting married soon, but her bf (of 6? 8? years) is an unromantic, boring workaholic. She too, yearned to have romantic feelings with someone else, and she did, with my guy.

It's normal for people to want to "fall in love" again, there have been scientific studies showing that when you fall in love, your brain secretes chemicals that make you feel good.

sorry to hear this,

as u see... there's always the third party who gets hurt or being like a prey

and i just dont feel right if this would happen

(jai kow jai rao) - GFB

an excerpt:

We are all familiar with the rush of falling head over heels in love. It’s intoxicating. And when PEA levels are high, adrenaline is pumping overtime and love is blind. Some people are more sensitive to PEA than others, however, and some people seem to be deficient in the hormone. This leads to bleeding hearts and Cassanovas. When people are too sensitive to PEA or their levels are too high, they can become infatuated at the drop of a hat and suffer psychiatric disorders (certainly not depression, though). And if someone lacks sufficient quantities of PEA they feel a near-constant urge to press on to the next seduction. These types of people also seek out risky hobbies such as sky diving and rock climbing.

Is there hope for any reluctant Casanovas out there? Well, until the women’s movement raises enough funds to innoculate every male with extra PEA, those thrill seeking urges can be pacified by consuming products that naturally contain high levels of PEA. Chocolate is jam packed with PEA, and rumor has it that eating a pound of chocolate gives you the same elated feeling as taking a hit off a joint. One lady recently complained to me that her boyfriend wasn’t giving her as much affection as she was used to getting from him. After asking a few questions, I learned that he had recently stopped drinking alcohol and had switched to eating a lot of chocolate bars and smoking dope. Well, at least she won’t have to worry about him stepping out on her.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i'm not addicted to love but just have so much to give (erk)

Edited July 31, 2005 by Girlfrombar

[OxfordWill]

can people just have the love affair without hurting their loved one,

MORALLY POSSIBLE??

This depends on who you are asking, girlfrombar (I'm going to call you Jenny, hope that's ok).

Well, Jenny, the real question you are asking here is 'Is it morally acceptable for me to have a (sexual) relationship outside of my marriage?'

The short answer is: No, it is not morally acceptable. Why: Because you risk causing your husband and anyone else involved a great deal of trouble (trouble of all kinds).

The long answer is: It's much more complicated than that, because the moral value of an act is determined by many factors, and no two acts are ever the same (if you think murder is always murder, you need to use the word 'legal' and not the word 'moral').

It's quite common to cheat - various polls show consistently that you wouldn't be alone if you did it. However, before you really know the moral status of such an act, you have to be sure of the motivation for doing the act (i.e., why you want to cheat).

Right now, it seems like you don't really know why you want to cheat (or why you want to think about the possibility of cheating). You need to be more certain as to what it is you are lacking, and what kind of action is going to provide you with that which you are lacking. Maybe, there is another solution to your problem that is going to be less morally troubling for you.

For example, cheating because you are jealous of your single girlfriends, is very different to cheating because you no longer feel 'love' as you once did.

[Nam Kao]

Looks like the "Finish falang/take $$$ and find new falang more big $$" part of the BG relationship sequence coming on

[cdnvic]

Looks like the "Finish falang/take $$$  and find new falang more big $$" part of the BG relationship sequence coming on

Nam Kao, you are making silly and unwarranted accusations about GFB without thinking. This is something many people go through. If you've been burned in the past because you let something other than your brain do the thinking then thats your problem. I think you owe GFB an apology.

GFB, there comes a time in everyone's life when its time to grow up and accept you can't have everything you want. Once you accept that you are a much happier person.

cv

[Girlfrombar]

NO!  Unless your spouse has approved it, absolutely not. 

If you were not ready to be married or you still want to play, you should have not gotten married, it's that simple.  Sounds to me like the passion in your marriage is gone and you are looking for that great feeling of being with someone new.  Many people feel this way but it's mostly men who act on it in my experience.  Believe me, it's perfectly normal these feelings you're having.  Lot's of people share the same feeling you have but if you love your husband and want to stay married to him, do not cheat.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

no, it's not about playful stuff

by time of getting married, i'm sure and he's sure we both are ready

maybe i just misleaded something.....

our marriage is so far so good

and i'm sure me myself is the unpredictable yet trustworthy person

but maybe the maslow's laws is just too actual and can apply to this

before, i met my spouse, i always needed to feel love and being loved, i was always waiting to the miracle (i think i'm a believer)

until i met this man who absolutely completed me... everything is great

but at this moment, one thing is wrong which is me..

once my love need is fulfilled, now it goes beyond the initial step

i want it more & again...

and i know, it will be gone, and reflashed back in my head again as haunting obsession

anyway thank u, for nailing me not obsessed much about this cheating thought

[Girlfrombar]

This depends on who you are asking, girlfrombar (I'm going to call you Jenny, hope that's ok).

Well, Jenny, the real question you are asking here is 'Is it morally acceptable for me to have a (sexual) relationship outside of my marriage?'

The short answer is: No, it is not morally acceptable. Why: Because you risk causing your husband and anyone else involved a great deal of trouble (trouble of all kinds).

yes, this's also my concern

The long answer is: It's much more complicated than that, because the moral value of an act is determined by many factors, and no two acts are ever the same (if you think murder is always murder, you need to use the word 'legal' and not the word 'moral').

yes, i think murder, no matter how, is still murder. so i become to see, here, that if it's about immoral, it will always be......

It's quite common to cheat - various polls show consistently that you wouldn't be alone if you did it. However, before you really know the moral status of such an act, you have to be sure of the motivation for doing the act (i.e., why you want to cheat).

Right now, it seems like you don't really know why you want to cheat (or why you want to think about the possibility of cheating).

u were sitting inside my thought! geez.....

You need to be more certain as to what it is you are lacking, and what kind of action is going to provide you with that which you are lacking. Maybe, there is another solution to your problem that is going to be less morally troubling for you.

i think i rather doubt this question, and yet to figure it out, the moral question is beyond this stage, right......

For example, cheating because you are jealous of your single girlfriends, is very different to cheating because you no longer feel 'love' as you once did.

i become to see it clearly now, this line deadly shot my mind...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

thank you.

Edited July 31, 2005 by Girlfrombar

[Girlfrombar]

Looks like the "Finish falang/take $$$  and find new falang more big $$" part of the BG relationship sequence coming on

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nam Kao, you are making silly and unwarranted accusations about GFB without thinking. This is something many people go through. If you've been burned in the past because you let something other than your brain do the thinking then thats your problem. I think you owe GFB an apology.

Nope. no need to apologise me, he owes nothing to me.

he just has different ideas from mine.

GFB, there comes a time in everyone's life when its time to grow up and accept you can't have everything you want. Once you accept that you are a much happier person.

cv

spot on,

thank you.......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[BambinA]

the trouble is me myself

sometimes i can't help but envy my single girl friends, who always want to find the right&true love (we are alike but now i'm a bit ahead them coz i'm the only one in group who get married!)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think maybe you just envy them coz , seem they have freedom obviously ..

how about, you take a vacation? (alone, or with girl friend) few weeks?

However independent you were before, marriage has a habit of sucking you in to being a couple.

Particularly if the marriage involves children, your lives are increasingly tied up together day-to-day. The result is often feeling both dependent and depended on - as though you have someone constantly clinging to your ankles.

Successful couples know that, however much love there is, marriage can bring this trapped feeling. They encourage each other not to be always 'us', to take 'me' time, to have 'me' hobbies and even 'me' friends. This way, each partner brings individuality in to the marriage, keeping it fresh and alive.

Bambi

[TRIPxCORE]

However independent you were before, marriage has a habit of sucking you in to being a couple.

Particularly if the marriage involves children, your lives are increasingly tied up together day-to-day. The result is often feeling both dependent and depended on - as though you have someone constantly clinging to your ankles.

Successful couples know that, however much love there is, marriage can bring this trapped feeling. They encourage each other not to be always 'us', to take 'me' time, to have 'me' hobbies and even 'me' friends. This way, each partner brings individuality in to the marriage, keeping it fresh and alive.

Bambi 

Is it just me or did Bambi all of a sudden start speaking/typing a lot better? I have never seen you post such a well written, coherent statement such as this.

[WhiteShiva]

NO!  Unless your spouse has approved it, absolutely not. 

If you were not ready to be married or you still want to play, you should have not gotten married, it's that simple.  Sounds to me like the passion in your marriage is gone and you are looking for that great feeling of being with someone new.  Many people feel this way but it's mostly men who act on it in my experience.  Believe me, it's perfectly normal these feelings you're having.  Lot's of people share the same feeling you have but if you love your husband and want to stay married to him, do not cheat.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

no, it's not about playful stuff

by time of getting married, i'm sure and he's sure we both are ready

maybe i just misleaded something.....

our marriage is so far so good

and i'm sure me myself is the unpredictable yet trustworthy person

but maybe the maslow's laws is just too actual and can apply to this

before, i met my spouse, i always needed to feel love and being loved, i was always waiting to the miracle (i think i'm a believer)

until i met this man who absolutely completed me... everything is great

but at this moment, one thing is wrong which is me..

once my love need is fulfilled, now it goes beyond the initial step

i want it more & again...

and i know, it will be gone, and reflashed back in my head again as haunting obsession

anyway thank u, for nailing me not obsessed much about this cheating thought

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

GFB,

having been married to my wife for two years now, I can sympathize with some of what you write. In my case, the initial "perfect" love from the early stages of our relationship has somehow faded - as they do in any relationship when you realize that your partner is not 100% perfect - although so it seemed initially. But in most successful relationship, I believe it eventually is replaced with what I would call "realistic love" - you love your partner, not despite his/her faults or shortcomings, or because you have not yet noticed theses, but with his/her faults & shortcomings.

I can remember what it was like falling in love with my wife the first time we met - absolutely intoxicating. But also a bit unrealistic to expect it to last - you can't expect to walk around with your head in the skies for the rest of your life. Things change, relationships stabilize - this is not necessarily a bad thing.

If you are both happy in your relationship, then you have nothing to worry about. Perhaps try to "spice" things up from time to time - perhaps visit the place you first met, the first restaurant you dined in together, go away for a romantic weekend. Small acts of kindness when least expected, just an SMS in the middle of the day saying that you think of each other, the list is endless.....

For myself, I appreciate the ladies as much as the next man. I do look at women, and admire an attractive face or a nice body. I can (and do) easily feel attracted to women other than my wife. But I know that I would never risk my marriage for another woman - no matter how easily it could have been done (this is Thailand, after all). If my wife found out, I think she would perhaps forgive me (once), but the trust would have been lost forever. And that would be a bigger loss than I am prepared to take.

You are talking about your love need - is that the need for you to love or to be loved? However nice it is to be loved, you can never demand, or even expect love. But you can give it. Perhaps if you started showering your partner with (even) more love, some of it would bounce back....?

Good luck...