Thai Ladies: Your Opinion Of A Pony Tail On A Guy...

[ladyboy butterfly]

Hi.

I am a guy in his 30's who is moving to Thailand. My hair is not quite shoulder level and i tend to wear it in a pony tail. I have a couple of female Thai friends in my country and they both say i really need to get rid of the pony tail if I want to meet a 'good girl' (they both know i am looking for a serious relationship at this point in my life). They are both VERY conservative, so i don't know if they're representative of Thai girls in general.

I tend to not change to conform- not my personality. That said, i don't want to eliminate 80 or 90 (or 100!) percent of my potential dating possibilities over my hair. So, here I am looking for opinions. To add a bit about me: mid 30's, in good shape (ie: I have a 6 pack), reasonably fashionable in how i dress, and a full head of hair (i know a lot of guys who are bald in front do the pony tail thing. not me- i have pretty much all my hair).

Feel kinda silly posting this, but my friends say it's a big deal because 'good girls' want a clean cut looking guy they can introduce friends to with pride.

Oh, and if you're wondering about my user name: I had a little boy call me a ladyboy butterfly when i didn't buy a rose from him on the street! Thought it was pretty funny.

Thanks!

[cdnvic]

The ladies forum is actually for ladies in Thailand, not really about Thai ladies so I'll move this to a more appropriate area.

[tigerfish]

hi ladyboy butterfly,

not being a thai lady and not even a lady as matter of fact, but as someone who used to sport reasonably long - longish, blonde, curlyish hair and used to wear it in a pony tail on the odd occasion.

my advice to you would be.

go with what your comfortable with, but try and consider whether youd be happy in such a hot climate with such long hair. i think it also may be worth thinking about what kind of circles you like to move in and yes the age factor and the kind of girl you are trying to attract. if your into a particular kind of scene so to speak and girls like that kind of look then i dare say that the opinion wont differ that much here. then again as you have already stated the ladies out there that might view it as less than a conservative kind of look, may be a little turned off by it, especially as you have said that you are now in your thirties and will not take you seriously as long term partnership material. i guess its all up to the individual really and what they are looking for in a man.

one thing i will say though that and something that you might want to consider. is that the korean / japanese styled haircuts a very popular at the moment over here and might be an option worth considering. rather hard to describe without a few pictures at my disposal to show you what i mean. kind of long at the back and short with a parting at the front. cut around the ears, but long bits at the front and in a sort of jaggered effect with the hair being at all sorts of different lengths all over. usually looks best with straight hair.

got mine done just before i got married and loved it ever since. easy to handle and the hair doesnt get in your face, making you all hot. sort of half way in between the two styles with a twist.

[tigerfish]

btw feel a right pratt for posting my reply now. thought i might get away with posting such information in the ladies sub forum.

now im going to get the right piss taken out of me by all and sundry that know me because its been moved to farang pub, entertainment and expat life forum. especially after a night out on the grog !

thanks for that cdnvic.

Edited November 5, 2010 by tigerfish

[maxman71]

The only comment I have about hair is I don't have "bad hair days"...just bad hair. So consider yourself lucky.

In general, be yourself; don't compromise, unless being yourself means injuring someone else in one way or another. One thing I've learned from living and working in Thailand for over 5 years now is stand your ground with these Thai ladies. Be polite, act and be the gentleman, but establish your personal boundries and stick with them. A lot (not all) of these ladies will try to play you like a violin and you need to be willing to tell them to go jump in the lake. Funny thing is, when I have done that with more than one of them, they seem to want to go after me even more, even when I am truly not interested in them as they are being too much of a pain in the rear.

Thai ladies will put up with quite a lot if they really like and care about you so I wouldn't think a pony tail should be a big issue, especially if the rest of the "package" is nicely put together and it sounds like it is. Another word of advice is you will NOT meet a good lady in the go-go bars, after hours discos, etc. The best ones have "normal" jobs, dress somewhat conservatively and are somewhat quiet and take time to get to know. After you've been here awhile, you'll know what I mean. TAKE YOUR TIME and go slow. That advice is from the mouth of a decent Thai lady I met in Phuket. Welcome to the LOS and good luck.

[smokie36]

btw feel a right pratt for posting my reply now. thought i might get away with posting such information in the ladies sub forum.

now im going to get the right piss taken out of me by all and sundry that know me because its been moved to farang pub, entertainment and expat life forum. especially after a night out on the grog !

thanks for that cdnvic.

Of course you mean like this.....

[Ulysses G.]

I don't think that lady-boys mind ponytails. You should be OK.

[sbk]

Well, I doubt too many women would have minded it in the ladies forum since he is asking women's opinions, cdnvic, but no worries.

TBH, your Thai friends at home are generally right. Riep roy is more than just neat and tidy and you will have better luck attracting someone in a serious manner if you fit the norm. That said it isn't impossible to meet nice women if you keep your longer hair, but Thais (like everyone else IMO) tend to judge a book by its cover.

[rgs2001uk]

btw feel a right pratt for posting my reply now. thought i might get away with posting such information in the ladies sub forum.

now im going to get the right piss taken out of me by all and sundry that know me because its been moved to farang pub, entertainment and expat life forum. especially after a night out on the grog !

thanks for that cdnvic.

Of course you mean like this.....

Smokie, is that a young singha in his youth?

I think he is referring to a mullet, even worse than a ponytail, must be an Ozzy.

Both are pathetic.

[tigerfish]

btw feel a right pratt for posting my reply now. thought i might get away with posting such information in the ladies sub forum.

now im going to get the right piss taken out of me by all and sundry that know me because its been moved to farang pub, entertainment and expat life forum. especially after a night out on the grog !

thanks for that cdnvic.

Of course you mean like this.....

Smokie, is that a young singha in his youth?

I think he is referring to a mullet, even worse than a ponytail, must be an Ozzy.

Both are pathetic.

mullet no!

ozzy, give me a break ! londoner born a bred.

and where my inquire do you come from ? not another one from norf of the border or even worse wales.

[smokie36]

More like this then?....

[smokie36]

Smokie, is that a young singha in his youth?

Well they both think they're the messiah so maybe there's something in it.....

[WarpSpeed]

Ladyboy Butterfly??? Asking about womens reactions?? Surely you jest??

[tigerfish]

More like this then?....

since when have us londoners gone for the brookside, shell suit wearing scouser look ?

[smokie36]

since when have us londoners gone for the brookside, shell suit wearing scouser look ?

After a brilliant 1-2 ......

He shoots! Well fishy mate is this style more to your liking?

[smokie36]

To be fair tigerfish I thought you might like the hairband.

[tigerfish]

since when have us londoners gone for the brookside, shell suit wearing scouser look ?

After a brilliant 1-2 ......

He shoots! Well fishy mate is this style more to your liking?

ive had so many different hairstyles and colors put in the old barnet fair in my time, ive lost track.

but yes that ones more to my liking

btw smokie, just been looking through the pics of the official tv members party you arranged a while back. which ones you ?

[smokie36]

I'm the good looking one.....unfortunately snapped standing next to island guy who's at least 6'6 tall. fuc_k I look like a wee midget when I'm 5'11 myself!

[tigerfish]

I'm the good looking one.....unfortunately snapped standing next to island guy who's at least 6'6 tall. fuc_k I look like a wee midget when I'm 5'11 myself!

i thought you were all midgets !

that being the main reason why mel gibson got the lead role in braveheart.

[smokie36]

I'm the good looking one.....unfortunately snapped standing next to island guy who's at least 6'6 tall. fuc_k I look like a wee midget when I'm 5'11 myself!

i thought you were all midgets !

that being the main reason why mel gibson got the lead role in braveheart.

Nah he farking hates the English......how could we refuse!!

So come on now tigerfish......swapsies mate let's have a look at that barnet you described earlier.......no more off topic nonsense.

Edited November 6, 2010 by smokie36

[tigerfish]

I'm the good looking one.....unfortunately snapped standing next to island guy who's at least 6'6 tall. fuc_k I look like a wee midget when I'm 5'11 myself!

i thought you were all midgets !

that being the main reason why mel gibson got the lead role in braveheart.

Nah he farking hates the English......how could we refuse!!

So come on now tigerfish......swapsies mate let's have a look at that barnet you described earlier.......no more off topic nonsense.

i would smokie, if only i knew how to embed pictures, seriously.

im fine when it comes to the youtube stuff, but totally hopeless at doing most things when it comes to computers.

even had to get my brother in - law to help me get my avatar done and ive been asked by many to post pics of my daughter, so that they can have a butchers.

gods honest truth govnah !

Edited November 6, 2010 by tigerfish

[smokie36]

Tigerfish go to an image hosting site such as photobucket or flickr and upload your photo there.....then just add it as an image link here.

Both sites are a piece of piss just join up and it tells ya what to do.

Later I'll be holding a seminar on clapping your hands and singing songs at football matches you might find that helpful as well.

[Ave]

Another opinion from a western female who's been living around Thais coming from different regions and backrounds..

I think your hairstyle should suit your facial features more than anything and you should like what you see when you look in the mirror.

I'd say a tidy ponytail goes well with no beard, if you look very neat and well groomed this style can be very attractive in Thailand too.

I used to have long hair for a long time but after a while I felt I was turning into a Thai person (which is nice if you are Thai originally and you didn't feel Thai enough, I guess.??.); also because I have dark hair and olive skin, it was becoming too much of an attraction.

Anyway, since I realised that I have kept my hair very very short and although I don't comform to the Thai female stereotype I don't really care as I am loving it and I am not aiming at finding a boyfriend (of a specific nationality)..and it's working..!

[somtampet]

The first thing u need to do is find out what a GOOD girl is supposed to be then u can make some sort of decisions

[ladyboy butterfly]

hi ladyboy butterfly,

not being a thai lady and not even a lady as matter of fact, but as someone who used to sport reasonably long - longish, blonde, curlyish hair and used to wear it in a pony tail on the odd occasion.

my advice to you would be.

go with what your comfortable with, but try and consider whether youd be happy in such a hot climate with such long hair. i think it also may be worth thinking about what kind of circles you like to move in and yes the age factor and the kind of girl you are trying to attract. if your into a particular kind of scene so to speak and girls like that kind of look then i dare say that the opinion wont differ that much here. then again as you have already stated the ladies out there that might view it as less than a conservative kind of look, may be a little turned off by it, especially as you have said that you are now in your thirties and will not take you seriously as long term partnership material. i guess its all up to the individual really and what they are looking for in a man.

one thing i will say though that and something that you might want to consider. is that the korean / japanese styled haircuts a very popular at the moment over here and might be an option worth considering. rather hard to describe without a few pictures at my disposal to show you what i mean. kind of long at the back and short with a parting at the front. cut around the ears, but long bits at the front and in a sort of jaggered effect with the hair being at all sorts of different lengths all over. usually looks best with straight hair.

got mine done just before i got married and loved it ever since. easy to handle and the hair doesnt get in your face, making you all hot. sort of half way in between the two styles with a twist.

Thanks for the input. Funny, i've looked at those Japanese styles- they look cool on asian guys, i'd look bloody ridiculous!

One of the things my Thai friends here said is that girls won't look at me as 'serious relationship material' like you said; and that it was even a face issue with regards to introducing a boyfriend with a pony tail/long hair to friends and family.

i have really never conformed in my life, so the thought of changing to conform is alien and rather repulsive to me. Trying to balance that against being a bitr older now and somewhat more pragmatic. well, at least pragmatic enough to contemplate that, if my friends are right, eliminating 90% of the potential dating pool because i refuse to conform may not be so bright given that i am actually looking for a serious relationship.

hoping to get more input from Thai ladies. Had a much better shot at that in the ladies forum, but i understand why it was moved......

[ladyboy butterfly]

The only comment I have about hair is I don't have "bad hair days"...just bad hair. So consider yourself lucky.

In general, be yourself; don't compromise, unless being yourself means injuring someone else in one way or another. One thing I've learned from living and working in Thailand for over 5 years now is stand your ground with these Thai ladies. Be polite, act and be the gentleman, but establish your personal boundries and stick with them. A lot (not all) of these ladies will try to play you like a violin and you need to be willing to tell them to go jump in the lake. Funny thing is, when I have done that with more than one of them, they seem to want to go after me even more, even when I am truly not interested in them as they are being too much of a pain in the rear.

Thai ladies will put up with quite a lot if they really like and care about you so I wouldn't think a pony tail should be a big issue, especially if the rest of the "package" is nicely put together and it sounds like it is. Another word of advice is you will NOT meet a good lady in the go-go bars, after hours discos, etc. The best ones have "normal" jobs, dress somewhat conservatively and are somewhat quiet and take time to get to know. After you've been here awhile, you'll know what I mean. TAKE YOUR TIME and go slow. That advice is from the mouth of a decent Thai lady I met in Phuket. Welcome to the LOS and good luck.

The question is whether they would even have an interest in me to be able to like me/care about me, or whether the long hair will disqualify me from consideration on first view.

as to the rest- i completely agree. i have been to Thailand 3x before and, despite reading about and knowing how guys can get played, i played the fool big time with my "ex gf"- i put it in quotes because that was only my blind illusion, i was a customer to her- nothing more. girls like her won't care so much about the pony tail. Her kind are NOT my target audience!

[ladyboy butterfly]

Well, I doubt too many women would have minded it in the ladies forum since he is asking women's opinions, cdnvic, but no worries.

TBH, your Thai friends at home are generally right. Riep roy is more than just neat and tidy and you will have better luck attracting someone in a serious manner if you fit the norm. That said it isn't impossible to meet nice women if you keep your longer hair, but Thais (like everyone else IMO) tend to judge a book by its cover.

Thanks for posting. unfortunately, you're validating what they said- was kinda hoping it was just that they are both so conservative. That said, i kinda figured since, IMO, Thai and other Asian cultures really judge the book by its cover relative to westerners. I think individuality is embraced more in a place like the US. I was kinda hoping that younger Thai's (ie: 20's) were more open, but, i guess they have to consider the reaction of parents who will certainly be more conservative...

[ladyboy butterfly]

The first thing u need to do is find out what a GOOD girl is supposed to be then u can make some sort of decisions

well, i've got a right fix on what a BAD Thai girl is, and have the scars to prove it. i made a point of saying 'good girl' to make it clear that i am looking for a 'regular girl' with a real job vs, well... the other kind- as described by me here:

not real keen to repeat that humiliation again! To your point: Not 100% confident i can suss out that a girl is a 'good girl', I only know some of the tell tale signs that she's a bad girl. Hopefully this go 'round i don't have my blinders on like the last.

[tutsiwarrior]

my observation FWIW...after a few months at home between jobs I usually grow some length and then tie it behind with a rubber band when it gets right and this is when all the teen aged female family members tend to avoid me or otherwise become mute...I'm 60 y/o, overweight and just wear the outsized flower printed shorts favored by most out here in the provinces; doesn't help perhaps as it's now just a thinning grey wispy fuzz as opposed to the glorious mane that I had when young...I always wear a shirt when out of the house in our small town...

I look to the wife in supplication and she puts on the face that the Robert Duvall character had in The Godfather when turning the traitor Tessio over for brutal mob execution...she sez: 'I can't help ye, tutsi...'

the girls usually win and I visit the barber soon thereafter...sheesh, if the kids are uptight and disapproving think about the grown wimmin...

Edited November 6, 2010 by tutsiwarrior

[Birdman]

Well, I doubt too many women would have minded it in the ladies forum since he is asking women's opinions, cdnvic, but no worries.

TBH, your Thai friends at home are generally right. Riep roy is more than just neat and tidy and you will have better luck attracting someone in a serious manner if you fit the norm. That said it isn't impossible to meet nice women if you keep your longer hair, but Thais (like everyone else IMO) tend to judge a book by its cover.

Thanks for posting. unfortunately, you're validating what they said- was kinda hoping it was just that they are both so conservative. That said, i kinda figured since, IMO, Thai and other Asian cultures really judge the book by its cover relative to westerners. I think individuality is embraced more in a place like the US. I was kinda hoping that younger Thai's (ie: 20's) were more open, but, i guess they have to consider the reaction of parents who will certainly be more conservative...

an interesting fact is the preference of beautiful Farang women between 20 and 40 in Thailand. Many stay together with extremely long haired, handsome Thais.....

And of course there are Thai ladies, who prefer long haired Farangs. Most of them outside the bar scene.

btw if you are a ladyboy butterfly why do you ask?