The Earth Didn'T Move. (My First Massage).

[johntou]

I had never had a paid massage before. I had read the stories of floating on air, all cares and worries gone for a while, and feeling stretched and supple after a massage. So I went for one last week. I saw a place with a row of beds, which I assumed meant I wasn't going to be offered 'extras', and I went in, and lay face down as directed. After an hour of pummeling, head and feet massaging, and stretching, I paid my 300 baht, and left. I felt no different to when I had arrived. I was suprised.

Later that day, (maybe I should have waited), I went to a spa, for a 3000 baht massage. After sitting in the reception, drinking a red coloured tea, I was escorted to the massage room, given a bathrobe and some stretch undies, and after putting these on, lay down on the bed. I was asked if I wanted soft to medium, or a strong massage. I went for strong. More pummeling, this time accompanied by scented oil, elbowing, and similar action to the first massage. After an hour and a half, it stopped. Again, I felt no pleasurable effects.

I am wondering, do some people benefit from a massage, while others get nothing? Was I unlucky to pick two massage therapists who did nothing for me? Do some people get the relaxed feeling from the attention given, and the ambience of the surroundings?

Maybe i will try again some day.

[ChangMaiSausage]

Paid massage but you have had a freebie? I far as I'm aware there is difference.

Maybe your expecting too much......... a happy ending one might float your boat.

[Valdezugar]

Next time ask for a happy ending . . . .

[Boater]

go to a ' soapy ' massage, you are sure not be dissapointed

[welsh1]

3000 baht for a massage ..pang mak mak .

there is a lady in my village she weighs around 130kilos and by <deleted> you will know you have had a massage when she finishes with you.

200 baht for a hour ..but no happy ending ..not that you would want a happy ending

[Loz]

i've actually just found k place the does 100B per hour. get the best thai massage with balmy stuff for my back too. mature ladies in classy clean room. feel silly tipping 100% But its worth it. quiet time and a good massage.

[Vertigotogo]

I think it all has to do with what you want to get out of your massage.

It is widely accepted that a massage in farang land is all about relaxation and is not very intrusive on the body (i.e., not very painful, if at all).

For 6 months I have been receiving 2 hour sessions of Thai massage twice a week (I strongly recommend a minimum of 2 hrs if you want Thai massage for health benefits) because I have had rheumatism for several years and my body had 'seized up', compensating for various areas of pain.

When I first started these sessions, I asked for 'medium' pressure and remember this as being extremely painful, progressing to agony at points. Whilst all this massaging was going on, I watched how the Thais behaved when receiving massage and I formed the opinion that I was overreacting to the pain (because that is what I had been conditioned to do for many years). I decided to try to train myself to just accept the pain and try not to react to it.

Now, I ask for the strongest they can give me and I know it is extremely painful (because I still feel the pain) at times but, to my own amazement, I regularly fall asleep during the 2 hours and leave the session feeling more supple and much more relaxed mentally than I was before. The difference is that I have trained myself not to react to the pain. I confess, however, that you will hear the odd grunt but even that is diminishing.

I have also yet to receive a 'happy ending' but that's maybe because I love food and if the lady asked me if I want a happy ending, I would probably reply; "can you bring me a deep pan meatfeast pizza?"

[lovelomsak]

I also think that the standard of this massage has gone down a lot in the last few years.I used to go for a message everynight before dinner about 20 years ago. The women would bend me an twist me strecht my back I would literally be in a sweat from it and loving it. They made me feel so alive. Now I go for a massage in Thailand and it is just a muscle rub(not that muscle). Also the best massages were from big ladies. They used to dig into the muscle with their thumbs a lot more too, breaking down scar tissue.

I think a lt of the girls are poorly trained now.

[cardholder]

go to a ' soapy ' massage, you are sure not be dissapointed

I'm with Boater - and you will save 1,000 Baht.

[Tonto21]

Hi Johntou

Seems like a patten to me, most things are a big let down, after all the hype and anticipation no matter what it is. From going to see a film that has been highly recommended for whatever reason, a certain place to eat or a hotel to stay at. The problem is being sold someone else's past good experience, I would put money on it if you had gone for a massage with no pre-conceived idea of what to expect you would have enjoyed it. Find a good Thai Maseru is like finding a good Thai language teacher.

Two things; leave the eye candy alone if you want massage, and 3000 Baht!

[Beetlejuice]

I think the OP is visiting all the wrong places.

3000 baht for a massage? You must be joking. I would expect to be bathed in asses milk and lusted over by 4 vestal virgins for that amount of money.

Edited November 10, 2010 by Beetlejuice

[canuckamuck]

I tried massage twice, didn't like it either.

[Ulysses G.]

Next time ask for a happy ending . . . .

Some people are MUCH better than others, but you are unlikely to find a true "Doctor" of massage without some searching.

As far as non-traditional massage goes, if you are in a private room, the very strong possibility of extras become even more likely.

[welsh1]

I think the OP is visiting all the wrong places.

3000 baht for a massage? You must be joking. I would expect to be bathed in asses milk and lusted over by 4 vestal virgins for that amount of money.

3000bht, did that include flights.

Years ago me and a mate went to a massage parlour back home in wales ..they then showed us a menu and pricing for special services.

We insisted we only want a massage ..the girls then called out to the big beefy door staff and then they removed us from the premises ..muttering the words <deleted> pair wierdos

[cardholder]

I think the OP is visiting all the wrong places.

3000 baht for a massage? You must be joking. I would expect to be bathed in asses milk and lusted over by 4 vestal virgins for that amount of money.

3000bht, did that include flights.

Years ago me and a mate went to a massage parlour back home in wales ..they then showed us a menu and pricing for special services.

We insisted we only want a massage ..the girls then called out to the big beefy door staff and then they removed us from the premises ..muttering the words <deleted> pair wierdos

Not sure welsh1, couldn't pick it up from your post' - are you suggesting the heavies were wrong in their judgement ?

[johntou]

I will try again. From looking around online, it seems like a 2 hour session is the one to go for, as mikearmstrong said. Poor training may have been the problem. Thai massage is famous, (not the soapy nonsense), so I will give it another go.

[Thongkorn]

get yourself down to the massarge place near the dolphin roundabout , they are all blind , they give the best massarge going in Pattaya, They know what they are doing , as for the sex places pretending to know what they are doing, these guys and ladys do know what they are doing.

[Farang0tang]

Ive had many "foot massages" (which also includes in the price - head/neck/back/arms/hands - never understood why) over the years, but the best I've found is at Swampy airport, think its on the 3rd level, at the far end. Whenever I am flying out, I check my bags in first and nip down for an hours session. Staff are young, but very well trained. Obviously its not your downtown prices, but I can use up the last of my Thai Baht.

I recommend it.

[Spee]

For 6 months I have been receiving 2 hour sessions of Thai massage twice a week (I strongly recommend a minimum of 2 hrs if you want Thai massage for health benefits) because I have had rheumatism for several years and my body had 'seized up', compensating for various areas of pain.

I agree. My feet and ankles are all beat up after a lot of abuse earlier in my life (multiple severe sprains, fractures, etc.). When I'm in Thailand, I get a foot massage whenever I can and they can't be beat.

Also I agree with the other posters about the tradition all over workout. When I get a good one by a skilled therapist, such as at the clinic in the moo bahn, I'm usually sore for a day or so but then the next day I feel great. My bones bruise easily, so I can't have them done as often as I would like.

All I can say to the OP is either you are in great shape and have excellent muscle tone, or you probably didn't have a very skilled therapist.

[IanForbes]

Massages are not for everyone. They are not supposed to be earth shattering events... Just a nice relaxation event. If someone is tense or has tightened muscles then a firm massage might be beneficial... but not always.

Personally, I don't feel much different after a good massage as I did before. Somebody pounding on me doesn't have any positive effect at all. Occasionally, I enjoy an oil massage by a pretty lady, but it's more as a social thing.

Edited November 10, 2010 by cdnvic
edited for taste

[cdnvic]

Deleted an argumentative post and someone's irrelevant input about his sex life.

[PingManDan]

There are some women who can and others who can't, give a good massage, some just seem to do it because they have too as a job, while some really put thier heart in it.

[Bedrockguesthouse]

I think your dead or drugged. Maybe a good whipping is what u need

[Loz]

There are some women who can and others who can't, give a good massage, some just seem to do it because they have too as a job, while some really put thier heart in it.

Pure Gold.

I find this to be very accurate as an assessment. I also hold that it is difficult to me to pick out from a row of ladies the one I want without feeling a little bit bad for the ones I've tried and found to be hopeless. As a good indication though... You can tell from the way they wash your feet before hand, just what kind of approach they have to their work.

There's a young girl at my new favorite place. She's been there a couple of weeks. This last week I had no option but her a few times. The first time she left 2/3 through the massage and was replaced by an old lady who is brilliant. I tipped the old lady but was concerned that it might go to the young quitter who was rubbish even before she quit. Next time I went and she was on duty, I left. Then next time I thought I might have to get used to her as she seems to be there a lot and the old girls seemed to be off shift. She stayed the course but was bellow average. Finally last night I had her again. I had accepted my fate and figured at least I don't have to think about a big tip. Last night however she was ALMOST as good as the old ladies! I was very pleasantly surprised and told her how good it was. She beamed and explained that last week she was on the blob and that's why her performance was below par. I tipped generously in the hope that she'd equate good service with better income. I'll let you know if it works!

I have to say, I don't really care if she's on the blob. If she can't do even a decent job, she should find work more suited to her monthly condition at least for that week. I know that may sound harsh. But if I could get paid fully for a three week month for my whole working life and you couldn't wouldn't there be at least a little simmering resentment?

I should add, that on the days I had massage from her sister or one of the older ladies I gave what I'd saved on her tip to them, in the hope they'd talk and she'd figure it out for herself.

I confess, I am more a carrot than a stick man.

[craigt3365]

I've also never really been fond of massages. But I usually do the 200B ones on the beach, most of which are horrible, or at some place where happy endings are offered. I left happy for sure, but it wasn't due to the massage.

The other day a friend of mine had a coupon for a couples massage at HealthLand here in Pattaya. It was amazing. It was the first time I truly felt like I was floating. She started out way too hard, but told her to calm down and it was fantastic. Lasted about 90 minutes. It wasn't cheap, but it was the best I have ever had.

[DP25]

She beamed and explained that last week she was on the blob and that's why her performance was below par.

[Nawtier]

3k baht is crazy....even for a proper hoity toity spa massage.

When i first got massages....never felt any difference....did nothing for me either.

Not sure if it the getting older benefit...or simply finding a good massuese.....but if you can find a good one, it is great and you will leave feeling good.

Keep trying till you do find one that floats ya boat.......but you can find them in the cheaper range just as much as you should expect to find them in the higher range......in fact i have found the higher range ones to be not very good at all.

[tim armstrong]

Johntou,

Sure sounds like you went to the wrong places. Firstly check out where, or if, the masseuse is trained. Thai massage with the right person is highly effective, and the 10 or so best schools in the country that teach it have very high standards. Wat Po is the best known training centre, but not the only good one. The government has tried to license many places to maintain the standard, rather than it be seen as just about happy endings. Ask some Thais where they would recommend, you will soon work out where to go. Local pharmacies often know.

Relaxation massage is just for that, and is more expensive, depending on the oils, surroundings etc.. A traditional Thai massage starts with the feet, but especially works out from the lower back in both directions. There are variations around the regions. 'Massage for Health' as its sometimes called, is much like physio. and takes several sessions to deal with specific problems.

Like any other profession, slightly older and more experienced masseuse are often better. My wife now has about 15 years experience, does therapeutic massage, and says that for some people she needs 3 sessions of 3 hours each! I have seen her do this for an old lady who eventually regained the use of an arm and shoulder that had been paralyzed for years.

So in summary, if you want the best massage, enquire first, just like you would for any other health professional. The costs: Most places are around 200 baht per hour, but more expensive at spas and in tourist areas. In the country - about 150 per hour. Regards

[Lumumba]

Health Land is a good place to get a decent massage.

When I drive long distance, I enjoy it more. But I prefer punishing my liver to lying on a mat.

[Tongdee]

25 years ago I wandered into Wat Po at the ripe old age of 32 with assorted pains & energy blockages all over. I felt far far older than I do now. A one hour massage from a well trained & strong man removed all the energy blockages, most of the aches & pains, and made me feel like I was 19 again. the energy returned, I started sleeping better. the power came back. Didn't tell him a thing about what hurt or anything else. Pure genius. excellent training for all who work there. Yes some are better than others. Been going back every return to The Kingdom. I belive 850 baht for a 2 hour session at the Wat Po school of massage Near thr temple. I do donate heavy in eternal thanks for my rescued health. The blind massage people are generally very good. Had a couple excellent massuses at a Temple inside the TaePae gate in Chiang Mai last year.130baht As for the earth moving???????? as long as I keep moving well, alls well. The prettyest girls are seldom the best at massage for health. & the priciest are not always any better than the 150 baht places.