Winners And Losers

[mark45y]

I thought I remembered that single men had more mental problems than married me. I looked it up and that is true.

But I also found out there is more to the story. Married men have less mental problems. Divorced men a bit more. Guys who have never been married have a lot.

So apparently it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

During this research I also found out what women want in a man. You can forget about looking at that one. Financial security comes in at 8th place. Obviously no women from Thailand were asked. I would buy second or third for the overwhelming majority of TV posters who have hi so wives with big money jobs but not 8th place. Portugal, Ireland, Greece, Spain maybe. But not Thailand.

[Kwasaki]

BwahahahOP, you were married 3 times to Thai Women & you thought Single Men were Losers ??

Bwahahahaah you couldn't make it up..

Amazing, amazing Thailand..

No, no, no. Married three times to Western women. I have never been married to a Thai woman.

To Markyboy I wouldn't put it as winners or losers l would say what are you happy with young or old everyone has different ways on how to live their life and a point of view on the way they choose to live their life. You have choose yours and good luck to you I have choose mine and I'm happy.

Me, I married Three times to western women and all the mill stones that go with it but everyone of them was not gone into without some thought.

So now I'm married for the forth time to a Thai Lady and we got married again for the second time and then for the third time without ever parting, love it.

Edited November 26, 2010 by Kwasaki

[IanForbes]

During this research I also found out what women want in a man. You can forget about looking at that one. Financial security comes in at 8th place. Obviously no women from Thailand were asked. I would buy second or third for the overwhelming majority of TV posters who have hi so wives with big money jobs but not 8th place. Portugal, Ireland, Greece, Spain maybe. But not Thailand.

What woman want in a man or what women SAY they want in a man? I have heard all sorts of women say what they want in a man and to fit that description the only one they should choose would be a flaming gay fruitcake. Of course, that is NOT what they keep choosing. They keep choosing the hunky womanizer and ignore the nice nerdy guy who works hard at his job and tries to be a good man.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

A direct answer is that nobody is a loser, guys look for different things out of life, needs and expectations do change, good luck to the single players, and the married guys, and those that get away with a bit of both.....

A more direct answer is that there are clear winners and clear losers in life. The vast majority lie in the blurred middle. And, perhaps more importantly, one should not fall for marketing. I have known many 'winners' in my life. Happy winners? They certainly pretended so. The luckiest ones even fooled themselves. Which makes them both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Okay maybe you're right. There are no winners or losers.

Understand that if your narrow minded idea of what is right and what is wrong, then you have to accept all the radical groups such as those in the Islamic faith who believe in circumsizing young girls, and who treat their wives as sex slaves to be raped whenever a man needs to satisfy himself.

By that logic, paedophilia is deemed by you to be "one's personal choice and neither right nor wrong" ? To say "paedophilia is wrong", one has to accept all extremist positions including child abuse being 'cultural'?

Seems complex.

nb. I understand you don't mean that - but I use the counter-extremity to point out the ridiculous nature of arguing at the extremes of a position. Everyone has their own moral compass. Everyone has the right to criticise everyone else's. A sure-fire way to guarantee the perpetual existence of 'evil' in the world is to take away one's right to criticise a (perceived or otherwise) moral hypocrisy or lack of a moral compass in others. Another sure-fire way to guarantee the perpetual existence of 'evil' is to fail to guarantee one's right to individual liberty (by either depriving them of it unfairly, or by allowing them to deprive - or tolerate the deprivation - others of their right to individual liberty).

"We wouldn't want to offend, would we? There are 1 billion of them. Therefore their hateful views are valid." ahem.

I think this kind of woman really exists in Thailand. The men drink whiskey and mess around with younger women and don't bring in any money. I have heard this from too many Thai women to doubt it.

--------------

(but earlier you said:)

If the Western media began to realistically portray Thai women it may save Western men a lot of headaches but I don't see that happening.

Sure there are sex pat books that detail real Thai women but I think those are largely ignored especially as the female portrayal in person is that of the innocent little lady with the burdens of the world on her shoulders. My mother is sick, brother had a motorcycle accident, sister needs money for college and my ex husband was a butterfly.

I'm confused. Which stereotype is the correct one again?

If your logic in the first statement is sound, I must make my peace with all sorts of gods, and soon! Crap! Some gods believe they are the ONE and ONLY god?

But then if you realised how your logic in the first statement is flawed, you'd understand why and how the incorrect perception you previously pointed out as "incorrect"...became the perceived 'reality'.

I thought I remembered that single men had more mental problems than married me. I looked it up and that is true.

But I also found out there is more to the story. Married men have less mental problems. Divorced men a bit more. Guys who have never been married have a lot.

So apparently it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

'love', by it's clinical definition, is a mental 'problem'. The instant you lose the ability to coldly analyse or think rationally, you have a mental 'problem'.

But whilst that is irrefutably true, I haven't met any psychopaths who are 'happy' either.

The best post in this thread is the first (response to your OP).

[kpmsprtd]

I'm reading this thread with great fascination. It sure does stimulate deep thoughts. I've trashed several draft posts and find myself stuck in this deep thinking phase. My thanks to those who have been able to post in such thought-provoking ways.

[glomp]

Im sure the "thai man lazy and bad" is in the same vein as "hello handsume man!!!!"

[lovelomsak]

Just read markys post. it is funny how people see things so different. I always thought guys who got married and couldnot hold it together were losers. If they married more than once I thought they were chumps.I always felt any fool can get married it takes no special talent. But when I saw guys get married over and over again I kept thinking there must be something wrong with these guys. They seem to not be man enough to face the world alone. I actually began to think some had real problems with identity and self worth. It was like they were a bunch of gays trying to look straight, and couldnot pull it off. I have heard it said doing the same thing more than once and getting the same results is a sign of mental instability, for sane people learn from mistakes and donot repeat them.

I also think many married people arenot well adjusted as they try to show. Single people have the freedom to be who they are and have no one to answer too.

As far as guys who come to Thailand to get married why not its like a game here no reality to it.Pay the price get your ticket take a ride on the thai marriage ride. Affordable fun for old aged men.

You appear to think all women are exactly the same, or at least carry all the same traits?.......otherwise your insanity declaration does not hold up.

My experience has been that no two women are exactly the same, indeed varied in many aspects of human nature......

Sorry but I wasnot referring to the women being the problem. I feel for a man to get married multipul times he simply doesnot understand relationships or his part in them. I feel he definitely doesnot understand how to change because as you said not all women are the same so why do none of the marriages work I say they donot work because he is unable to fix his probems and get into a real relatonship. Trying to hard and not doing proper preperation. I think guys like that marry many times cannot see it as their problem but I see it clearly as their problem. If all the woman are different why always the same result.

[mark45y]

Just read markys post. it is funny how people see things so different. I always thought guys who got married and couldnot hold it together were losers. If they married more than once I thought they were chumps.I always felt any fool can get married it takes no special talent. But when I saw guys get married over and over again I kept thinking there must be something wrong with these guys. They seem to not be man enough to face the world alone. I actually began to think some had real problems with identity and self worth. It was like they were a bunch of gays trying to look straight, and couldnot pull it off. I have heard it said doing the same thing more than once and getting the same results is a sign of mental instability, for sane people learn from mistakes and donot repeat them.

I also think many married people arenot well adjusted as they try to show. Single people have the freedom to be who they are and have no one to answer too.

As far as guys who come to Thailand to get married why not its like a game here no reality to it.Pay the price get your ticket take a ride on the thai marriage ride. Affordable fun for old aged men.

You appear to think all women are exactly the same, or at least carry all the same traits?.......otherwise your insanity declaration does not hold up.

My experience has been that no two women are exactly the same, indeed varied in many aspects of human nature......

Sorry but I wasnot referring to the women being the problem. I feel for a man to get married multipul times he simply doesnot understand relationships or his part in them. I feel he definitely doesnot understand how to change because as you said not all women are the same so why do none of the marriages work I say they donot work because he is unable to fix his probems and get into a real relatonship. Trying to hard and not doing proper preperation. I think guys like that marry many times cannot see it as their problem but I see it clearly as their problem. If all the woman are different why always the same result.

You paint us all with the same brush. I never wanted to get married although I was married three times.

It reminds me of an when I had a vasectomy. The nurse came in with a form. I asked her what is that. She said, “do you want to have a vasectomy.” I said, “heck no.” She said, “then why are you here?” I said, “my wife says no vasectomy no sex.” Nurse said, “OK sign here.”

If the lady is pregnant it is the honorable thing to do. Or at least used to be the honorable thing to do.

I would be willing to bet the farm that you are not married or if you are that you have been married for less than 7 years. Right or wrong?

[neverdie]

more of markys conquests

[lovelomsak]

Just read markys post. it is funny how people see things so different. I always thought guys who got married and couldnot hold it together were losers. If they married more than once I thought they were chumps.I always felt any fool can get married it takes no special talent. But when I saw guys get married over and over again I kept thinking there must be something wrong with these guys. They seem to not be man enough to face the world alone. I actually began to think some had real problems with identity and self worth. It was like they were a bunch of gays trying to look straight, and couldnot pull it off. I have heard it said doing the same thing more than once and getting the same results is a sign of mental instability, for sane people learn from mistakes and donot repeat them.

I also think many married people arenot well adjusted as they try to show. Single people have the freedom to be who they are and have no one to answer too.

As far as guys who come to Thailand to get married why not its like a game here no reality to it.Pay the price get your ticket take a ride on the thai marriage ride. Affordable fun for old aged men.

You appear to think all women are exactly the same, or at least carry all the same traits?.......otherwise your insanity declaration does not hold up.

My experience has been that no two women are exactly the same, indeed varied in many aspects of human nature......

Sorry but I wasnot referring to the women being the problem. I feel for a man to get married multipul times he simply doesnot understand relationships or his part in them. I feel he definitely doesnot understand how to change because as you said not all women are the same so why do none of the marriages work I say they donot work because he is unable to fix his probems and get into a real relatonship. Trying to hard and not doing proper preperation. I think guys like that marry many times cannot see it as their problem but I see it clearly as their problem. If all the woman are different why always the same result.

You paint us all with the same brush. I never wanted to get married although I was married three times.

It reminds me of an when I had a vasectomy. The nurse came in with a form. I asked her what is that. She said, "do you want to have a vasectomy." I said, "heck no." She said, "then why are you here?" I said, "my wife says no vasectomy no sex." Nurse said, "OK sign here."

If the lady is pregnant it is the honorable thing to do. Or at least used to be the honorable thing to do.

I would be willing to bet the farm that you are not married or if you are that you have been married for less than 7 years. Right or wrong?

I am little confused here Marky now you are saying you never wanted to get married. But in your oruiginal post this is what you say (quote Maybe the reason I married three times is because I thought unmarried men were losers unquote.) So what is it you never wanted to be married but did it so you didnot look like a loser in your eyes, even though you didnot want to be married?

Also about single men having more mental problems I think that is wrong too for one no show of facts. The other many divorced men are considered single and could be used in reasearch as single. But there is only 3 kinds of men as far as I know Single, Married and Divorced. A man cannot be born again single once married after marriage he is divorced.So single and divorced are 2 different things.And yes I believe divorced men may have the most problems, but I also feel they shouldnot be catorised as single they have been married. Being single is like virginity once lost its lost.

[ozzieovaseas]

more of markys conquests

Yeah mate, certainly makes all of our conquests fade into comparison

wonder if he will ever run out of 'em

[473geo]

Just read markys post. it is funny how people see things so different. I always thought guys who got married and couldnot hold it together were losers. If they married more than once I thought they were chumps.I always felt any fool can get married it takes no special talent. But when I saw guys get married over and over again I kept thinking there must be something wrong with these guys. They seem to not be man enough to face the world alone. I actually began to think some had real problems with identity and self worth. It was like they were a bunch of gays trying to look straight, and couldnot pull it off. I have heard it said doing the same thing more than once and getting the same results is a sign of mental instability, for sane people learn from mistakes and donot repeat them.

I also think many married people arenot well adjusted as they try to show. Single people have the freedom to be who they are and have no one to answer too.

As far as guys who come to Thailand to get married why not its like a game here no reality to it.Pay the price get your ticket take a ride on the thai marriage ride. Affordable fun for old aged men.

You appear to think all women are exactly the same, or at least carry all the same traits?.......otherwise your insanity declaration does not hold up.

My experience has been that no two women are exactly the same, indeed varied in many aspects of human nature......

Sorry but I wasnot referring to the women being the problem. I feel for a man to get married multipul times he simply doesnot understand relationships or his part in them. I feel he definitely doesnot understand how to change because as you said not all women are the same so why do none of the marriages work I say they donot work because he is unable to fix his probems and get into a real relatonship. Trying to hard and not doing proper preperation. I think guys like that marry many times cannot see it as their problem but I see it clearly as their problem. If all the woman are different why always the same result.

I guess when it comes to marriage some men just find it easier to say yes rather than no......how many times have you been asked?......

[mark45y]

Response to lovelomsak

What I said is, single men who have never been married have the most mental health problems. Single men who have been married and are not now married next. And Married men last. You can look it up. Pretty easy to find.

[mark45y]

For posters who don't know. There are some who try to close threads that I start. This is accomplished by baiting me with derogatory comments and when I respond it turns into a flame war and is closed. I will be more than happy to respond to anyone who posts a question or makes a comment about the subject matter. Personal attacks I will no longer respond to. Thank you for your kind attention.

[lovelomsak]

For posters who don't know. There are some who try to close threads that I start. This is accomplished by baiting me with derogatory comments and when I respond it turns into a flame war and is closed. I will be more than happy to respond to anyone who posts a question or makes a comment about the subject matter. Personal attacks I will no longer respond to. Thank you for your kind attention.

Hey Marky i hope you donot think I am baiting you. All I am doing is simply stating things as I see them same as you. I was worried you may take this as baiting because of your past but it wasnot it was simply about how I see things . There was no intent to personally attack you I can assure you. I did ask one question about your statements but that was only because I was confused, about why you actualy got married . Also no need for you to explain I just wanted you to know that your 2 statements about why you got married seemed to me to contradict each other is all. Again i would like to state no need to explain Most people donot understand single. For most have been married or are married. Thay havenot spent their whole life single there was either a time when they were married or are married at the present time..They have no concept of total single life.

[mark45y]

For posters who don't know. There are some who try to close threads that I start. This is accomplished by baiting me with derogatory comments and when I respond it turns into a flame war and is closed. I will be more than happy to respond to anyone who posts a question or makes a comment about the subject matter. Personal attacks I will no longer respond to. Thank you for your kind attention.

Hey Marky i hope you donot think I am baiting you. All I am doing is simply stating things as I see them same as you. I was worried you may take this as baiting because of your past but it wasnot it was simply about how I see things . There was no intent to personally attack you I can assure you. I did ask one question about your statements but that was only because I was confused, about why you actualy got married . Also no need for you to explain I just wanted you to know that your 2 statements about why you got married seemed to me to contradict each other is all. Again i would like to state no need to explain Most people donot understand single. For most have been married or are married. Thay havenot spent their whole life single there was either a time when they were married or are married at the present time..They have no concept of total single life.

No not at all. You asked a question. I understood that. I got married because my GF got pregnant. She told me she could not have children and the doctor had confirmed that to her. I did not speak with the doctor. I should have. I trusted her. Mistake. Another wife told me she could not get pregnant. She went to the doctor and got fertility pills. She got pregnant. Third wife told me no marriage no sex because she had a small child who would not approve of her sleeping with me without being married. I let the little head make the decision. She was awesome in the sack. I was young and dumb and full of ***.

[cdnvic]

One apparent insult and reply removed. Please be nice.

[mca]

I was young and dumb and full of ***.

" Shit " is spelt with 4 letters Mark.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

I was young and dumb and full of ***.

" Shit " is spelt with 4 letters Mark.

Is that some European spelling?

I count...I've run out of fingers...but definitely more than 4 letters...

[mark45y]

I was young and dumb and full of ***.

" Shit " is spelt with 4 letters Mark.

See post #74

[mark45y]

more of markys conquests

See post # 74

[mark45y]

more of markys conquests

Yeah mate, certainly makes all of our conquests fade into comparison

wonder if he will ever run out of 'em

See post #74

[mca]

I was young and dumb and full of ***.

" Shit " is spelt with 4 letters Mark.

See post #74

See my " grin " emoticon which indicates a mild piss take. Sans grin would mean I'm having a go at you.

I dunno Mark. For someone who's apparently done as much as you like sailing round the world in a sink or whatever and dispensing advice through your years of supposed wisdom and experience I thought a thick skin would come with the territory.

[473geo]

For posters who don't know. There are some who try to close threads that I start. This is accomplished by baiting me with derogatory comments and when I respond it turns into a flame war and is closed. I will be more than happy to respond to anyone who posts a question or makes a comment about the subject matter. Personal attacks I will no longer respond to. Thank you for your kind attention.

Hey Marky i hope you donot think I am baiting you. All I am doing is simply stating things as I see them same as you. I was worried you may take this as baiting because of your past but it wasnot it was simply about how I see things . There was no intent to personally attack you I can assure you. I did ask one question about your statements but that was only because I was confused, about why you actualy got married . Also no need for you to explain I just wanted you to know that your 2 statements about why you got married seemed to me to contradict each other is all. Again i would like to state no need to explain Most people donot understand single. For most have been married or are married. Thay havenot spent their whole life single there was either a time when they were married or are married at the present time..They have no concept of total single life.

I'm just a little confused as to why somebody who married for the first time in their forties would have "no concept of total single life"

In my opinion they know much more about the single life than a single guy who has never been married can know about marriage

[BoonToong]

Then there is the group of men who make gross, incorrect assumptions and speculations based on their own very limited and distorted view of reality.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that one, but that group usually doesn't include people with higher education who are smart enough to verify statements with existing facts. You want some..? But then after all, we're talking about the losers here, but you're disputing that "retired" misfits who came here to shag Nana brass are winners after all just as long as they stay single!? I guess you're the living proof that we're all different - and you may just be more different!

Then there is the group of men who serve their country, risk life to protect liberty and freedom of speech to help allow small-minded jerks voice an opinion, who then retire on a pension and settle down in a country where their small pension allows them to live in relative comfort. They may or may not engage in enthusiastic sexual activity.

We're talking about winners and losers here. You follow...!? I described the losers. Not the winners. That doesn't mean everybody are losers, does it, but if your view on this is that a 60 year old single guy who hangs out in bars most of the time and pays to get a blow job from an 18-year old hooker is a winner simply because he served his country we are in disagreeement, simple as that. Exclude the bar and the hooker and there will be a difference in my rating.

Guess whose buttons you just managed to press?

The ones who are still pissed off because they dropped out of high school and grabbed the US Marines as the last resort to a decent life..!?

Even the ones who didn't graduate from high school should be able to figure out that there are plenty of single men who live in happily in LOS whether their income is from benefit, pension, savings or something else. Not all have a drinking problem or shag cheap hookers every night (or ever). I know people who live here as rice farmers in tiny villages in Isaan - some of them are fully accepted by the locals, married with children and couldn't be happier. Now there's a winner if you ask me, but please don't come here and accuse others of having a distorted and limited view of reality. In my case the view could hardly be more unlimited. :jap:

I'm going to speculate that you are either ex-military yourself and are saying all this rather tongue-in-cheek (if so, bravo). Alternatively, you have no experience of the military and will (I speculate again) never truly understand their psyche. I'm not trying to excuse or condone the behaviour of some Vets who live here, but I still think you are making far too many misguided and ill-informed assumptions.

Seriously, even your reply to my reply still contains some awful stereotypical assumptions "because they dropped out of high school and grabbed the US Marines as the last resort to a decent life". You are forgetting the hundreds of thousands of vets who do not come anywhere near to being in this category. Your comment in this regard also displays a lack of respect.

If you do have any facts that back up your comments, I would be glad to see them.

to you too but with no hat on

[Forethat]

Seriously, even your reply to my reply still contains some awful stereotypical assumptions "because they dropped out of high school and grabbed the US Marines as the last resort to a decent life".

Ehhhh, no, that was a question, not an assumption. In case you skipped that class: when I use a question mark as a distinctive punctuation, that means I am making a request for information. A question.

Your comment in this regard also displays a lack of respect.

Let me get this straight: People enlist to be trained in the art of killing other people, and these people are now accusing others for displaying lack of respect?

Man, you've got some thinking to do.

[Livinginexile]

.

Edited November 27, 2010 by Livinginexile

[Livinginexile]

Response to lovelomsak

What I said is, single men who have never been married have the most mental health problems. Single men who have been married and are not now married next. And Married men last. You can look it up. Pretty easy to find.

So what you are saying is....the only reason you married three times was to avoid mental health problems?

It didn't work did it?

[Beetlejuice]

I was young and dumb and full of ***.

" Shit " is spelt with 4 letters Mark.

Our Mark45y is a real gentleman and the word he is refering to is; poo.

[kmj]

Year 1 : I was like a kid in a sweet shop...

Year 2 : The sweets still look good but I'm only interested in the best sweets

Year3 : The sweets may look different, but once you've had a sweetshop full their all pretty similar

Year4 : Picked 1 sweet and I'm sticking with it, but I still look in the shop window now and again, smiling at the new people in the sweetshop...