British Management

[A. BOOZER]

A Japanese company and a British company decided to have a canoe race on the River Thames. Both teams practised long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day the Japanese won by a mile. Afterwards the British team was very discouraged and depressed. The British company realised the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A management team of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and only 1 person steering while the British team had 8 people steering and only 1 person rowing. So the British company hired an international management consultancy and paid them an incredible amount of money to prepare a report. After six months hard work they advised that too many people were steering the canoe while not enough were rowing.

So the British company acted. To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganised to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering supervisors and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new and imaginative performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the canoe greater incentive to row harder. It was called the Rowing Team Quality First Programme with endless meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. Even new paddles and medical benefit incentives were promised if he won.

“We must give the rower the empowerment and enrichment through this quality programme” said the chief executive of the British company.

The next year the Japanese won the canoe race by two miles. Humiliated the British management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles and cancelled all capital investment in new equipment.

The money saved was distributed to the senior executives as bonuses for a job well done.