Boredom, Availability Lead To 2nd Thai Wives: Survey

[anterian]

One person's concept of moral is another person's concept of sinful. I don't judge other and don't expect others to judge me, my only criteria is that no one suffers emotional or financial harm.

[vahack]

And the VAST MAJORITY of these women have their "gik" on the side as well. So more power to them, and let's not get on our high horse about it, this is one area where "morality" is definitely relative and who are we to pass judgment?

who are we to judge? bored drunk farangs in Thailand!

TV is just a forum for farangs to spout out opinions that no one wants to hear. of course, its a good way to vent considering we are more isolated than a prisoner in confinement.

but on the subject, to each his own! my wife would have my balls for lunch if i strayed. of course her opinion (and mine) would probably change if she wasn't banging me 3x a week.

[rubl]

There's a saying some should remember and heed:

You can go out and get hungry, but should come home to eat.

[hardy1943]

Both my marriages failed at around 7 years both parties getting bored; others longer seem to be together just for kids. Surprised no one mentions the cost of extra women. Women have been the most costly item in my life especially when running more than one

We are in our 7th year it was great from the first day but our love for each other is greater then ever and so is our sex life.

Yes, I am married to the most wonderful Thai lady and also I was married 3 times before to farangs. She is the love of my life and we are also best friends.

Edited December 7, 2010 by hardy1943

[Bagwan]

Perhaps the young Thai ladies of today realise that there is more than a soupçon of truth in the old adage that it is better to be an old man's darling than a young man's slave.

In Pattaya I have witnessed overweight, over dressed and over made up mature Thai women trawling certain sois in posh cars where young Thai men are available for hire by the hour, and similarly young fresh ladies who, having tucked the old farang fella up in bed and served his Horlicks, nipped down the road to pay for for a bit of what they fancy with a much younger man. I see no reason to suppose that much the same goes on throughout Thailand.   

A survey carried out some 8 or 9 years ago, the results of which were published in 'the other newspaper', it was found that  65% of working Thai ladies quizzed admitted that they had had provided sexual services for profit or career advantage. 

My understanding is that provided the mia noi acknowledges the position, privilege and supremacy of the mia luang and shows proper kreng jai in public, then the situation is tolerated, maybe even welcomed. When I quizzed my wife on the subject she said that she had no worries about my constancy, she knew that I would always come home. I would not put too much faith in such a proposition however. 

[Brewsta]

Sounds like the 'members' of this forum should be too busy in flagrante, etc, to be commenting on these issues, no?

Heigh Ho Sliver...................Away!!

Thank you muchly for the laff, y'All!!

Brewsta

[rakman]

When I married my wife 3 years ago, after knowing her for a year, I was 59, but most people who tried to guess my age, both Thai and Westerners, thought I was around 40-45. I'm 172cm and 68kg, which is the same weight I've been since I was 18. My wife was 49 at the time, but looked better than most women in their mid to late 20's and 30's. She's 148cm and 42kg, which is 2kg heavier than she was when we married. She has a fitness routine she does every morning for an hour to keep her weight down and figure looking GOOD!

However, shortly after we were married one of her friends came over and told me: "You know, in Thailand you can have more than one wife if you want." I laughed and told her 1 was enough. My first marriage lasted 28 years before my wife died of cancer, and never once did I stray. I hope this marriage lasts just as long, and while there is more than ample opportunity for me to do so, I have no desires to act on them when my beautiful, sexy, and very willing wife fulfills my every wish whenever I want, as much as I want.

Call me "weird" or whatever you want, but I'm in that group that believes that in you're in a committed relationship, then you put everything into it. IF, for some reason, it fails, THEN you end it and go searching. But you don't go out for hamburger when you have T-Bone, with all the trimmings, at home.

Well said.. I'm in your camp, too. Bought the wife the "Goodyear" track suit since she had "blimped" out. Divorced her because she was cheating.

[Ave]

I like you! And I am very lucky to know lots and lots of people likeminded!

When I married my wife 3 years ago, after knowing her for a year, I was 59, but most people who tried to guess my age, both Thai and Westerners, thought I was around 40-45. I'm 172cm and 68kg, which is the same weight I've been since I was 18. My wife was 49 at the time, but looked better than most women in their mid to late 20's and 30's. She's 148cm and 42kg, which is 2kg heavier than she was when we married. She has a fitness routine she does every morning for an hour to keep her weight down and figure looking GOOD!

However, shortly after we were married one of her friends came over and told me: "You know, in Thailand you can have more than one wife if you want." I laughed and told her 1 was enough. My first marriage lasted 28 years before my wife died of cancer, and never once did I stray. I hope this marriage lasts just as long, and while there is more than ample opportunity for me to do so, I have no desires to act on them when my beautiful, sexy, and very willing wife fulfills my every wish whenever I want, as much as I want.

Call me "weird" or whatever you want, but I'm in that group that believes that in you're in a committed relationship, then you put everything into it. IF, for some reason, it fails, THEN you end it and go searching. But you don't go out for hamburger when you have T-Bone, with all the trimmings, at home.

[blazes]

Interesting, only 28.5% of men think cheating on your wife is immoral. Even more interesting is that only half of the women interviewed thought it immoral to be cheated on

Please don't take this as boasting, but in my lifetime I have had sexual relations with maybe 75 women...and I don't mean one-night stands, but relationships ( I was married all through this time, 27 years to two wives) that lasted anywhere from one month to several years.

One day I put on paper every name that I could remember, and I was shocked to find that 1 in 2 of all the women I had ever slept with had had a bf or a husband. 50% of women were cheating on their men. Small sample, but probably accurate.

And all this was in good old quiet Canada.

[bangon04]

maybe the gyms and parks will be filled with exersising middle aged women

This would not be a bad thing.

It is sad for me that My wife was 52 kilo when we got married, and in the time between measuring up for the wedding dress, and the wedding day,she managed to put on 2 kilo. The trend has continued.

Um,,,, lets face it, most of us farang are over weight, what right do we have to comment about our wives weight.

Certainly if you promised to stick by her through thick and thin... You had the thin times at the start, now you are having the thick. Nevertheless, a deal is a deal.

Do pre-nups in the the good ole USof A specify marriage day weight, +/- 5 kilos??? Then a system of fines can be introduced as an incentive.

Or maybe love conquers all.

[asiawatcher]

Look at her face in the photo. No wonder the husband go for a 2nd (& 3rd . . .) wife. I wouldn't blame him, poor guy.

Your looking at the outside of a person. It does not matter what a person looks like they can still be loving and caring. Personally I think if one enters into a relationship then they should be 100% faithful. If you are bored or fall out of love then cut the ties with the other before seeking a new relationship.

Someone was guaranteed to come up with this post!

[bonobo]

Interesting, only 28.5% of men think cheating on your wife is immoral. Even more interesting is that only half of the women interviewed thought it immoral to be cheated on

Please don't take this as boasting, but in my lifetime I have had sexual relations with maybe 75 women...and I don't mean one-night stands, but relationships ( I was married all through this time, 27 years to two wives) that lasted anywhere from one month to several years.

One day I put on paper every name that I could remember, and I was shocked to find that 1 in 2 of all the women I had ever slept with had had a bf or a husband.  50% of women were cheating on their men.  Small sample, but probably accurate.

And all this was in good old quiet Canada.

If surveys and studies can be believed, I think your experiences are closer to the norm than being an outlier.

[bonobo]

Call me "weird" or whatever you want, but I'm in that group that believes that in you're in a committed relationship, then you put everything into it.  IF, for some reason, it fails, THEN you end it and go searching.  But you don't go out for hamburger when you have T-Bone, with all the trimmings, at home.

Nothing "weird" about that at all.  While you may be in the minority in action, if not professed intentions, nothing about your perspective is weird, wrong, silly, whatever.

[VictorOne]

Interesting, only 28.5% of men think cheating on your wife is immoral. Even more interesting is that only half of the women interviewed thought it immoral to be cheated on

But I think you will find that the survey respondents were in the main natives of the realm who by and large have the moral make up of an alley cat.

[backsoon]

An interesting research overall.

However, the question of 'morality' or 'legality' of this trend should be left out entirely, as it is outside the point of reference.

The ways individuals behave are subject to many factors. Gender, socioeconomics, biology, age, opportunity, availability, etc. are only visibly known factors. I am sure there are many more in each case.

So, this is how we, humans, behave.

Judgemental opinions are and always will be arbitrary, politicized, catered for groups and/or short term prevailing interests.

"Morality" or "Legality" of such behavior are societal problems. I am sure neither King Solomon, nor Turkish Sultan had any problems with this morality, as well as their subjects.

The staunch moralists should look at the laws and morals they preach. I do not claim having panacea for human problems. But, perhaps, replacing 'LIFE LONG MARRIAGE LICENCE", which is a fallacy from our behavioral point of view as well as statistically and legally speaking, being a pile of crap, - should be replaced by a 'RENEWABLE 2 YEARLY MARRIAGE LICENCE" based on both parties application??? The only thing we lose in this case is a bunch of legal voultures, feeding off human misery and a few severed penises.

Once again, an interesting research, a stupid interpretation.

[Beetlejuice]

I have heard it said that a Thai man can always have as many wives as he can afford

This is exactly the reason why this survey is a load of hogwash.

Morals or no morals it`s all down to how much you can afford that determines what sort of lifestyle we lead.

I mean, men lust for the women and the women crave for money. I am sure that if men had more available cash the percentages of outside marital affairs and those with regular mistresses would be jumping off the scale. Men enjoying the lustful pastimes and women married or single looking forward to raking in huge amounts of cash.

I bet most married men would welcome regular bits on the side if they could afford it and I guarantee they would not have any problems obtaining willing female co partners if the price was right and I`m not only talking about women of ill repute here.

It`s all down to money and not boredom or availability that determines the concluding results of a survey.

[Metalgear]

I have asked Thai girls "what is in it for single girls to go with married men" as this is common throughout asia, but my language skills are not up to the task of this question, so I have not been able to get a real answer. I am sure somebody here will provide that answer.

Is it just the money?

My nieghbour is wife number two (2) for a thai guy who has 3 women in tow. Apparently they all know about each other and do not care he provides money to each of them every month and they are happy.

Its does seem that Thai men having Mia Nois or mistresses is a common thing. If 8 out of 10 Thai men have mia nois and this has to do with having extra money to give and support their Mia nois, then its easy to assume that Thai men are mostly very rich. Is it so easy to get that rich in Thailand ? Cost of living is soaring with all these inflation, how on earth they can survive with two or three wives, not to mention education for children, houses, and bla bla bla.....

A friend of mine is making THB180,000 baht a month and he is already struggling with one wife and a kid.

[irwinfc]

one reason i could think of is that in thai weddings, no vows or even promises are made by either groom or bride. sending the message that "from here on, anything goes".

[phuketkenny]

The way I heard it was " Read the menu, eat at home"

If you follow this simple guidleline, you will save a lot of baht !

: > )

There's a saying some should remember and heed:

You can go out and get hungry, but should come home to eat.

[featography]

Both my marriages failed at around 7 years both parties getting bored; others longer seem to be together just for kids. Surprised no one mentions the cost of extra women. Women have been the most costly item in my life especially when running more than one

In my phsyc. class we learned that every persons tastes, likes, dislikes change every 7 years. Coincincedence?

My thought since living here; who can afford, financially, more than 1 Thai woman, and who can function normally with more than 1 with the added stress, anxiety, frustration, jealousy, animosity, as well as the time split between more than one?!?!?!?

I have to stick to one. Women take all of a man's energies, bar the physical needs, of course. One thing does seem to parallel women of the west; meopause sets in and ruins everything. Possibly the Asians have created a buffer for this that the farang back home are handling all wrong. *maybe tongue in cheek, maybe some truth to this*

[moetownblues]

I don't know how any person could have more than one thai wife. One is extreemly hard to handle they are so voilatile and can explode at the drop of a hat. If you do not treat a thai lady with great respect, kit gloves and money the kiss your life goodbye.

[moetownblues]

Look at her face in the photo. No wonder the husband go for a 2nd (& 3rd . . .) wife. I wouldn't blame him, poor guy.

Your looking at the outside of a person. It does not matter what a person looks like they can still be loving and caring. Personally I think if one enters into a relationship then they should be 100% faithful. If you are bored or fall out of love then cut the ties with the other before seeking a new relationship.

Someone was guaranteed to come up with this post!

Yes it appears that there is always one who throws water on our constructive negative thoughts how dare he.. Is there a rule about being positive on here?

[Dap]

When I married my wife 3 years ago, after knowing her for a year, I was 59, but most people who tried to guess my age, both Thai and Westerners, thought I was around 40-45. I'm 172cm and 68kg, which is the same weight I've been since I was 18. My wife was 49 at the time, but looked better than most women in their mid to late 20's and 30's. She's 148cm and 42kg, which is 2kg heavier than she was when we married. She has a fitness routine she does every morning for an hour to keep her weight down and figure looking GOOD!

However, shortly after we were married one of her friends came over and told me: "You know, in Thailand you can have more than one wife if you want." I laughed and told her 1 was enough. My first marriage lasted 28 years before my wife died of cancer, and never once did I stray. I hope this marriage lasts just as long, and while there is more than ample opportunity for me to do so, I have no desires to act on them when my beautiful, sexy, and very willing wife fulfills my every wish whenever I want, as much as I want.

Call me "weird" or whatever you want, but I'm in that group that believes that in you're in a committed relationship, then you put everything into it. IF, for some reason, it fails, THEN you end it and go searching. But you don't go out for hamburger when you have T-Bone, with all the trimmings, at home.

YOU are a CLASSIC and I applaud you. I also was in a 20 year relationship with my wife (who died) and NEVER thought about needing or requiring anyone but her. I am now in another relationship that I consider "Top-Notch" and I have no need to consider anyone else when I have a partner that fulfills my every desire. "Je Doff Mon Chapeau Mon Ami"

[eurasianthai]

Second wife in Thailand is just for sex.

Coming from Chinese culture, I think, and was legal up to the 1930s in Thailand.

But well, if they want to call it boredom

Edited December 8, 2010 by eurasianthai

[luckizuchinni]

When I married my wife 3 years ago, after knowing her for a year, I was 59, but most people who tried to guess my age, both Thai and Westerners, thought I was around 40-45. I'm 172cm and 68kg, which is the same weight I've been since I was 18. My wife was 49 at the time, but looked better than most women in their mid to late 20's and 30's. She's 148cm and 42kg, which is 2kg heavier than she was when we married. She has a fitness routine she does every morning for an hour to keep her weight down and figure looking GOOD!

However, shortly after we were married one of her friends came over and told me: "You know, in Thailand you can have more than one wife if you want." I laughed and told her 1 was enough. My first marriage lasted 28 years before my wife died of cancer, and never once did I stray. I hope this marriage lasts just as long, and while there is more than ample opportunity for me to do so, I have no desires to act on them when my beautiful, sexy, and very willing wife fulfills my every wish whenever I want, as much as I want.

Call me "weird" or whatever you want, but I'm in that group that believes that in you're in a committed relationship, then you put everything into it. IF, for some reason, it fails, THEN you end it and go searching. But you don't go out for hamburger when you have T-Bone, with all the trimmings, at home.

YOU are a CLASSIC and I applaud you. I also was in a 20 year relationship with my wife (who died) and NEVER thought about needing or requiring anyone but her. I am now in another relationship that I consider "Top-Notch" and I have no need to consider anyone else when I have a partner that fulfills my every desire. "Je Doff Mon Chapeau Mon Ami"

I am so impressed with the members of ThaiVisa. The vast majority of the members are in the 15% of men who never cheated on their wife. That's got to be some sort of record. I bow to all of your high moral standards!

[moetownblues]

When I married my wife 3 years ago, after knowing her for a year, I was 59, but most people who tried to guess my age, both Thai and Westerners, thought I was around 40-45. I'm 172cm and 68kg, which is the same weight I've been since I was 18. My wife was 49 at the time, but looked better than most women in their mid to late 20's and 30's. She's 148cm and 42kg, which is 2kg heavier than she was when we married. She has a fitness routine she does every morning for an hour to keep her weight down and figure looking GOOD!

However, shortly after we were married one of her friends came over and told me: "You know, in Thailand you can have more than one wife if you want." I laughed and told her 1 was enough. My first marriage lasted 28 years before my wife died of cancer, and never once did I stray. I hope this marriage lasts just as long, and while there is more than ample opportunity for me to do so, I have no desires to act on them when my beautiful, sexy, and very willing wife fulfills my every wish whenever I want, as much as I want.

Call me "weird" or whatever you want, but I'm in that group that believes that in you're in a committed relationship, then you put everything into it. IF, for some reason, it fails, THEN you end it and go searching. But you don't go out for hamburger when you have T-Bone, with all the trimmings, at home.

YOU are a CLASSIC and I applaud you. I also was in a 20 year relationship with my wife (who died) and NEVER thought about needing or requiring anyone but her. I am now in another relationship that I consider "Top-Notch" and I have no need to consider anyone else when I have a partner that fulfills my every desire. "Je Doff Mon Chapeau Mon Ami"

I am so impressed with the members of ThaiVisa. The vast majority of the members are in the 15% of men who never cheated on their wife. That's got to be some sort of record. I bow to all of your high moral standards!

Yes and you forgot to mention that the vast majority are also walking around with thier penis still attached. I asked my wife why thai women choose farang men. She says that thai men can not be trusted and like to have many girlfriends most Thai women do not like this.She refered to Thai men as butterfies and .

[luckizuchinni]

I am so impressed with the members of ThaiVisa. The vast majority of the members are in the 15% of men who never cheated on their wife. That's got to be some sort of record. I bow to all of your high moral standards!

Yes and you forgot to mention that the vast majority are also walking around with thier penis still attached. I asked my wife why thai women choose farang men. She says that thai men can not be trusted and like to have many girlfriends most Thai women do not like this.She refered to Thai men as butterfies and .

Are you being facetious? Do you really think that the other 85% get their members hacked off?

And whatever your wife thinks, that is perception, not reality. If she thinks western men don't run around with other women, then she is mistaken. Thai men do not have a monopoly on infidelity. (But she is not alone in this perception. I have heard it from many other Thai women before. Filipinas, Russian, and Japanese women tend to think that as well.)

For the record, I admit I am in the 85%. Oh, I never had a mia noi. Why would I want two wives? I think most men, and women, for that matter, stray for the excitement, for the newness of it. If I had a mia noi, where is the excitement of the "strange," as a buddy puts it? I've got a companion in a wife, a friend. I don't need the emotional involvement of anyone else. So when I give in to my urges, it is with a one-night stand with a woman looking for the same, or maybe a "happy ending" after a massage.

I pass no moral judgments. If someone has a mia noi, if someone has the occasional fling like I do, or someone remains monogamous, that is a personal choice. No one is right or wrong.

I just find it funny that so many male posters insist on coming online here to profess that they are in the 15%. Are their wives reading their posts? Face it, a high percentage to men living in Thailand are older, have already been married, and are divorced. Many come here because they are attracted to the availability of younger women. Nothing wrong with that. But while I have absolutely no hard data to back this up, it seems remarkable to me that out of this demographic group, a group who has had intimate relationships with others before, that so many profess to be absolutely monogamous. And not only that, but there seems to be a hint of a "holier-than-thou" flavor to their posts.

Once again, if all the posters here are monogamous, fine, No problem. If that floats your boat, so be it and I wish you well.

Edited December 9, 2010 by luckizuchinni

[Tanlic]

I have asked Thai girls "what is in it for single girls to go with married men" as this is common throughout asia, but my language skills are not up to the task of this question, so I have not been able to get a real answer. I am sure somebody here will provide that answer.

Is it just the money?

Not at all

It's the Gold, the new Mobile, a laptop and anything else your daft enough to give them .

Some are not the brightest and they see sucurity and think someday they will replace Mrs. Thai

Most know and except the situation as it is.

Many of these girls work in Thai Karaoke bars and their geek/part time boyfriend comes to see them on a regaular basis.

Plenty office girls also have geeks. Not a boyfriend just someone who bonks them on a fairly regular basis and looks after their finacial needs.

Most don't want or expect them to run off into the sunrise with them they just want to help their fmailies.

If they can have fun and do that then to them that's a bonus..

[SamritT]

Many Thai women doen't mind to be a mia noi, as long as the pay is good.

[mark45y]

Both my marriages failed at around 7 years both parties getting bored; others longer seem to be together just for kids. Surprised no one mentions the cost of extra women. Women have been the most costly item in my life especially when running more than one

The simple solution is to date women who have their own money. Why do you have to pay for the women in your life? Don't they have any money or any job?

I pay because women who are paid understand their place. Women who are not paid may not understand.