Nothing In My Name!

[Thaipwriter]

Its because you are a Bluenose!!!

She is thinking how can I trust a man who obviously knows so little about football and supports a shitty team like Birmingham!!!!

I suggest that you change your allegiance to the REAL blues (MCFC) and you might find a change in her attitude

I lived in Manchester for a couple of years and used to go to all the home games on the kippax. used to buy the kit to play footy in at the gym i was a member of....so in a way i have already followed your advice.

This was 12 years ago, the missus is daft as a brush , i had to explain what cricket was the other day! she had no idea.

So i dont think switching to a Man City shirt would help would it???

[Thaipwriter]

What I can´t understand is why people fix capital in rural areas ?

I´m quite sure that if you´d build a house in your gf homevillage you´d lost less than by now.How will your life be in KK city after you split up with her.It will be very difficult to you after all the gossip and splitting with a Thailady as a farang can be a very bad experience.She´ll seek for revenge because then she totally lost face.Staying with a farang without making a fortune of it for her and the family will place her in a bad light.

And I can´t imagine that there´s a big market for farang homes in KK city.Will you then still want to stay there ?

I'm not rural, I have a place on a great estate with swimming pool, gym, sauna tennis etc.

If I split up with her there will be no issues for me, she would go back to her parents 30km's away.

I work real estate here in Khon Kaen, there is a small farang market. I "bought" a home here because its a real thai town. i can fly to samui for my holidays for 50 quid.

I'm happy here, I have made good friends and love my new life, women aside, i am very lucky indeed.

[uncle paul]

you can explain that is not your duty to look after her family seeing she is only a girlfriend. you dont mind paying her living expenses and giving her extra pocket money but thats as far as it goes at this time.

furthermore point out that you tested her by buying the gold to see if she could be responsible with something with a monetary value that was given from your heart. she failed to be responsible so you decided that you cannot give her more until she shows she respects something of value and indeed respects that your heart is more important than a telephone!.

tell her that respect is earned over a long time by being a good, honest and reliable person, as these are the most important things to you, and not by her demanding things of value just because she is a girlfriend and people may gossip about her.

ask her if family is the most important thing to her? we all know the answer is yes family is the most important. tell her it is the same for you and that you feel its your duty to save whatever you have for your family to come so that children etc can be secure, educated in the right way, etc etc

sound like you have one that needs to be traded in for a more reliable model. one thats accepts the above.

[loong]

Thaipwriter started this thread, giving very little info and I have since stumbled across this posting

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...84entry430784

Reading this, sorry, but the original post in this thread makes no sense.

If you are still looking for your ideal, why do you need advice?

I am new to the forum but I have been reading for about a year. And I am wondering if any of you have had a positive experience with meeting and falling in love with a Thai BG.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah mine was pretty positive until the day i realised that she wanted me to give her and her family all my money. Then i said goodbye, cried into my beer for a few days, picked up my sorry ar5e and went looking in the right places for my ideal Thai squeeze....still looking i'm afraid!!!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Thaipwriter]

What I can´t understand is why people fix capital in rural areas ?

I´m quite sure that if you´d build a house in your gf homevillage you´d lost less than by now.How will your life be in KK city after you split up with her.It will be very difficult to you after all the gossip and splitting with a Thailady as a farang can be a very bad experience.She´ll seek for revenge because then she totally lost face.Staying with a farang without making a fortune of it for her and the family will place her in a bad light.

And I can´t imagine that there´s a big market for farang homes in KK city.Will you then still want to stay there ?

[i'm not rural, I have a place on a great estate with swimming pool, gym, sauna tennis etc. very near to town centre

If I split up with her there will be no issues for me, she would go back to her parents 30km's away.

I work real estate here in Khon Kaen, there is a small farang market. I "bought" a home here because its a real thai town. i can fly to samui for my holidays for 50 quid.

I'm happy here, I have made good friends and love my new life, women aside, i am very lucky indeed.

[Jeff1]

I think you know its prob not a long termer

Yeah, I know, i knew before i posted....i just wanted a few more folks to spell it out for me.

Thanks for all the advice. bed now......

RUN ! and fast before the next thing you know is she is pregnant .

[Thaipwriter]

She sold a personal item given by you for her birthday.  She might as well have squatted and taken a dump on yer head.  Find someone who appreciates you.

LOL Please no!!! not after all the Som Tam she eats!!!!!!

I asked a Thai friend about this issue of sentimentality. He says that gold is just another form of cash, mobile phones are just another form of cash here.

Thai's girl's sometimes dont attach sentiment to to possessions, to them its just cash. to a western girlfriend its represents more than cash.

This is just one of the cultural differences our Ego's fight with every day me thinks.

I was not bothered by what she did. I "invested" only as much in that "gold " as "i was prepared to walk away from"

[uncle paul]

She sold a personal item given by you for her birthday.  She might as well have squatted and taken a dump on yer head.  Find someone who appreciates you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL Please no!!! not after all the Som Tam she eats!!!!!!

I asked a Thai friend about this issue of sentimentality. He says that gold is just another form of cash, mobile phones are just another form of cash here.

Thai's girl's sometimes dont attach sentiment to to possessions, to them its just cash. to a western girlfriend its represents more than cash.

This is just one of the cultural differences our Ego's fight with every day me thinks.

I was not bothered by what she did. I "invested" only as much in that "gold " as "i was prepared to walk away from"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

aha but you dont tell her that

[Thaipwriter]

Thaipwriter started this thread, giving very little info and I have since stumbled across this posting

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...84entry430784

Reading this, sorry, but the original post in this thread makes no sense.

If you are still looking for your ideal, why do you need advice?

I am new to the forum but I have been reading for about a year. And I am wondering if any of you have had a positive experience with meeting and falling in love with a Thai BG.

Yeah mine was pretty positive until the day i realised that she wanted me to give her and her family all my money. Then i said goodbye, cried into my beer for a few days, picked up my sorry ar5e and went looking in the right places for my ideal Thai squeeze....still looking i'm afraid!!!!!

The post there is not quite the truth....i lied a little about saying goodbye, I posted that during an earlier phase of "discussions" I wanted to say good bye, i really did but never found a way of getting her out the house. I had made my mind up to finish with her when i made that post, and for sure when i do finish with her i will cry in my beer for a few days.

I came to live in Thailand primarily becuase i fell in love with her, she is why i am here.

I have known for some time that my relationship is dead. I am in Khon Kaen, finding a good lady here that speaks a little english is not an easy task. I have been looking for a replacement girl for some time, i stay with my current girl out of convevience more than anything.

I have known deep down that she is looking for the "walking winning lottery ticket farang" for some time and i have been in denial of this.

Thanks for reading my previous ramblings..."stumbled upon"...pah

[uncle paul]

Thaipwriter started this thread, giving very little info and I have since stumbled across this posting

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...84entry430784

Reading this, sorry, but the original post in this thread makes no sense.

If you are still looking for your ideal, why do you need advice?

I am new to the forum but I have been reading for about a year. And I am wondering if any of you have had a positive experience with meeting and falling in love with a Thai BG.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah mine was pretty positive until the day i realised that she wanted me to give her and her family all my money. Then i said goodbye, cried into my beer for a few days, picked up my sorry ar5e and went looking in the right places for my ideal Thai squeeze....still looking i'm afraid!!!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The post there is not quite the truth....i lied a little about saying goodbye, I posted that during an earlier phase of "discussions" I wanted to say good bye, i really did but never found a way of getting her out the house. I had made my mind up to finish with her when i made that post, and for sure when i do finish with her i will cry in my beer for a few days.

I came to live in Thailand primarily becuase i fell in love with her, she is why i am here.

I have known for some time that my relationship is dead. I am in Khon Kaen, finding a good lady here that speaks a little english is not an easy task. I have been looking for a replacement girl for some time, i stay with my current girl out of convevience more than anything.

I have known deep down that she is looking for the "walking winning lottery ticket farang" for some time and i have been in denial of this.

Thanks for reading my previous ramblings..."stumbled upon"...pah

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

your chances greatly increase when she is no longer in the house and that is known

[Thaipwriter]

you can explain that is not your duty to look after her family seeing she is only a girlfriend. you dont mind paying her living expenses and giving her extra pocket money but thats as far as it goes at this time.

furthermore point out that you tested her by buying the gold to see if she could be responsible with something with a monetary value that was given from your heart. she failed to be responsible so you decided that you cannot give her more until she shows  she respects something of value and indeed respects that your heart is more important than a telephone!.

tell her that respect is earned over a long time by being a good, honest and reliable person, as these are the most important things to you, and not by her demanding things of value just because she is a girlfriend and people may gossip about her.

ask her if family is the most important thing to her? we all know the answer is yes family is the most important. tell her it is the same for you and that you feel its your duty to save whatever you have for your family to come so that children etc can be secure, educated in the right way, etc etc

sound like you have one that needs to be traded in for a more reliable model. one thats accepts the above.

great advice, thanks Uncle Paul.

I have tried to educate her on these subjects buy i get the impression, with Thai's it goes straight in one ear and out of the other.

[aughie]

Have you bought her a moped? Are you cheap or stingy? If so maybe she has a point but so what if she does. Is she that great? Why not find someone who likes you for you and is not influenced by gossip or seeks to intimidate you with village gossip. If she's a keeper ignore this issue of hers and figure out someother way to keep her. On the one hand the villagers, according to her, call you cheap, on the other hand they can call you pushover if you sign your wealth over to her.

You've known her for only 5 months? Come on man you know the answer.

Buy her a moped if you can afford it and if she is worth it.

-a

[JimmyGreaves]

Out of curiosity; Are these problems also encountered in a Thai-Thai relationship?

John

[jackr]

Five months is not a long term relationship, but I think she wants to know there might be more later on. You can tell her if she stays with your for a year, she'll get a buffalo; year and a half, she gets some land to put the buffalo on; three years, and she gets a little house for the parents; four year, a marriage. And so on.

It's supposed to be a relationship, not an &lt;deleted&gt; business deal. What you're proposing is basically extended prostitution.

[huahin]

Right! ....back again, been to watch my beloved Birmingham City get beat at home by an average Man City.

Well thanks for all the advice so far, we are not married and if i really think about it I reckon she loves the top of the range Nokia more than she loves me!

I understand that she needs to feel some security, at the same time, so do I. I quit England to come here at the age of 36 ( she is 23) I am not a GBP millionaire so I still have to work and provide food for both of us. The pressure is well and truly on me to make sure we have enough to see us ok for long term.

I got her a job through a business partner and she earns around 5000 a month and i match the money that she works for baht for baht. 10,000 baht a month makes a girl in Khon Kaen practically "HI SO". the average wage here is 5k a month for a 6 day a week office based job.

Ws dont live near to her parents, their in Nam Phong about 30 clicks North of KK.

Anyways....

In the UK i have been plain broke and had girlfriends who supported me through real hard times. Now times are better I find myself with somebody who appears to be driven by cash. I dont think for one minute that this girl would stay with me if i had no money, no house, no car, she says she would but i just dont believe her.

Time to say goodbye I think

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I whole heartedly agree, time to find some one more genuine sincere.

Best of British Luck

[Khun Jean]

The picture is more clear now.

I indeed advice the girl to find another farang.

[SnakeBite]

If it was about helping her family instead of being so materialistic, then why didn't she sell the gold and give the money to her parents or even just give them the gold. Just seems the girl wants a lot to be GIVEN when she hardly knows the guy and he hardly knows her.

[loong]

If it was about helping her family instead of being so materialistic, then why didn't she sell the gold and give the money to her parents or even just give them the gold. Just seems the girl wants a lot to be GIVEN when she hardly knows the guy and he hardly knows her.

How can you say they Hardly know each other if they have been living together for 5 month?

The picture is more clear now.

I indeed advise the girl to find another farang.

Now that's funny

Problem here is that we are hearing one side of the story, we have to read between the lines a little.

Thaipwriter met and fell in love with a Bargirl in one of the tourists areas (Samui?) while on holiday. So much in love that he sold up and moved to Thailand.

By coincidence he set up home 30 kms from his bargirl's home village.

This lady stopped working in the bar and moved to live with him in his house.

Was there no discussion first?

Did she just follow him?

A Bargirl usually does not just pack up and move away from where she plies her trade unless there has been some sort of promise.

I have to wonder if Thaipwriter said something to give her the impression that he was going to buy them a house. Maybe told her that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

I'm sure he didn't say to her "I'm going to live in Khon Kaen, you can come and stay with me if you like"

I'm also sure that he didn't say "You will live a life of luxury and I will expect you to be gratefull for it"

Thai women, if you make a promise, will expect you to stand by your word. What may be a farang indulging in a wee bit of bullshit or joking may well be believed.

No, it appears to me that Thaipwriter has made the classic mistake of falling in love with an idea and not the person and is now not happy with his decision.

Now he wants to keep this girl in his life while he is looking for a replacement for her. From what he has written, I imagine that he has been giving out plenty of signals and the girl has picked them up. Obviously she is going to feel pretty insecure.

Do the right thing Thaipwriter, if you no longer want to share your life with this girl. Tell her. A clean break is the best thing for you and her.

Think before you leap next time.

[edd]

I think what you have to realise that when you are dealing with a Thai woman is

You can take the girl out of the village but you can not take the village out of the girl.

I have been happily married now for 17 years but in that time I have been floored several times with THAI VILLAGE THINK.

One was when we had been married for 5 or 6 years and we were on one of our visits to the village

In the night I awoke to find my wife crying, after the usual protracted convoluted questioning to find what the problem was I was told that the people in the village were making fun of her because she had been married a long time to a falang and still did not have a house there.

At this time my wife had not got the confidence that she now has.

So to make her happy and restore face I arranged to build a house and to be honest I liked the idea of not living in a hotel each time we went to the village.

I won’t go into all the prose and cons of house building but I had great fun all the way through the process.

Now many years later my wife is much more confident and would no longer be influenced by the low life’s in the village.

She does not realise how far she has come from that timid village girl that I first met 17 years ago to the way she is now.

The strange part is that I love OUR house [in her name] in the village, I think that it was a good decision to build it but my wife thinks it was a bit of a waste and she says that she would not want to do it again.

T.I.T.

Edd

[Thaipwriter]

The picture is more clear now.

I indeed advice the girl to find another farang.

Fair enough, I am no angel

I will take the rough with the smooth Khun Jean, Thaivisa.com turns people into "farang roo mak mi dye"

"Farang know too much no good"

This phrase essentialy relates to farangs who know how to take care of themselves in Thailand.

In the eyes of her village I am bad. Thaivisa.com made me bad when it opened my eyes to what really goes on here

[aughie]

The post there is not quite the truth....i lied a little about saying goodbye, I posted that during an earlier phase of "discussions" I wanted to say good bye, i really did but never found a way of getting her out the house. I had made my mind up to finish with her when i made that post, and for sure when i do finish with her i will cry in my beer for a few days.

I came to live in Thailand primarily becuase i fell in love with her, she is why i am here.

I have known for some time that my relationship is dead. I am in Khon Kaen, finding a good lady here that speaks a little english is not an easy task. I have been looking for a replacement girl for some time, i stay with my current girl out of convevience more than anything.

I have known deep down that she is looking for the "walking winning lottery ticket farang" for some time and i have been in denial of this.

Thanks for reading my previous ramblings..."stumbled upon"...pah  

Haha. That's what I get for not reading the entire thread before posting. Yeah she can sense something has changed and is taking a run at you. Just look at it as part of the breakup negotiations.

-a

[Guest endure]

This was 12 years ago, the missus is daft as a brush  , i had to explain what cricket was the other day! she had no idea.

So i dont think switching to a Man City shirt would help would it???

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Why would a girl born in rural Thailand know what cricket is? Why would rural villagers, most of whom have had 6 years schooling max, know who Adolf Hitler is?

[ajarnmark]

You should think yourself fortunate that she has betrayed her motivations in this way, thereby saving you from wasting any more of your time on her. It sounds as if you are not happy to have a relationship where her main motivation for being involved with you is a financial one, many others in Thailand seem to be happy with such an arrangement. Therefore, you should move on and find somebody who genuinely cares about you first and foremost, and money secondary.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

good point, thanks

as a young guy i dont want to feel as though i am buying the attentions of girls, i did not have to do it in England, so why the F()&K should I do it here. If I was an old guy for sure i would pay.....a would still carry the grin that some of these old boys carry......i guess its an ego thing really

can i find this person in Thailand??

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, Thaipwriter you can find such person in Thailand, only if u r lucky enough.

BTW, I agree with u that young guys should not spend money on buying love. I am also young (m i?) and my gf takes care of me and not for my money. In fact, I was running out of money and she helped me financially too. For our relationships money is nowhere (we do not need money from each other).

I suggest you that you should look for bangkokians (girlz of course) and try to avoid Isaan (no offence to anyone plz) coz most of these isaan girlz r after money. Again this is to be judged on case to case basis.

Wish u good luck.

[Nam Kao]

Sounds like a fleecing in the making

DONT PUT ANYTHING IN HER NAME

Tell her if she doesnt like it, hit the SOI!

Ask her "Why should i put it in your name?" the reply will be a lie

Your better off playing the field anyways

Edited August 21, 2005 by Nam Kao

[lovethailandlongtime]

I suggest you that you should look for bangkokians (girlz of course) and try to avoid Isaan (no offence to anyone plz) coz most of these isaan girlz r after money. Again this is to be judged on case to case basis.

Wish u good luck.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Your stating the bleedin obvious mate!

Of course they are after the punters money..

IMO you need to relocate...Get out of issan if your looking to get all luvved up with a low cost thai chick..You are fighting the odds staying there..

[AmeriThai]

A change of scenery can certainly work wonders.

[SiamOne]

Oh dear, sounds like you are a coward, and not an honest person....sorry

If you are thinking you want to change your girl, then stop keeping her with you

be honest, tell her the truth. Yes, it hurts, and yes, it can be stressful, but the life you are living now is worse.

Once you have done the deed, you will feel much better, and maybe she will also.

do it, and be honest

[gwkenny]

Thaipwriter:

You've gotten a lot of good advice.

But I really don't think you get it. Even after living here.

We've only got your side of things so of course, from your slant, she's going to come off as money grubbing.

But from your posts, that only became an issue when mom talked about what folks in the village are saying and that feeds on her (justifiable) insecurity.

Sounds like you had found a keeper (or least someone who is compatible with what you want) but are going to toss it away.

Go ahead.

You are almost guaranteed to hit the same wall with any Thai women that you are going to "pick up" out of poverty.

Given your attitude, I don't think you're going to be remotely attractive in the long term to middle class or hi-so thais.

You should either resign yourself to be a lifelong bachelor and don't string girls along (as there are plenty who'll be willing to just "waste" a few years) or become a little less selfish and start seeing things from both sides and COMPROMISE.

g-

[think_too_mut]

I was told that the people in the village were making fun of her because she had been married a long time to a falang and still did not have a house there.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I had not met inlaws until gf's pregnancy was in it's 6th month.

Before going to the village for the first time I asked her to use 1 month school holiday and build a house around the concrete shell that she already had. There were no paint, floors, no windows - just holes covered with corrugated iron.

It took 10K US$ to have a nice small house, 2 bedrooms and western bathroom with real walls and doors.

What's 10K$ compared to the dramatical improvement of family's life and worry-free woman to look after our child? Also, a nice place to stay when visiting there.

[longway]

more than a sniff of bs from the OP IMHO

Sold up in uk and moved here and bought a house, and not planned LT?!

You must have promised her something, why else would she have quit her job and moved in with you?? In Samui you say she worked in a restaurant, r u sure? she is a whore now in her village.

sounds like you are just bored of her and now looking for a way to get rid of her. she definately expected material gain (expecting something for her family would have chie among them) when she moved in with you, but as others have pointed out we only hear one side of the story.

happens alot on TV you hear only one side not the other.

i think you have used her more than she has used you so far.

you're going to make a clean get away.. congratulations.

you say you are a real estate agent...

Edited August 22, 2005 by longway