Dating In Chiangmai...

[jackr]

Shave, wear good shoes and hit the banks... speaking some Thai would help.

As above, though, being Indian (sadly) will not help his cause.

[vspin134]

it is the age old problem all over again. The "working girls" have learned their English in bars. That includes a good percentage of the women who go on-line for boyfriends and husbands. The so called "good girls" mostly don't speak English, and if they do they work for international companies, shops or banks. Very few attractive Thai women are not aware of how things work in Thailand. Meeting the "good girls" is a difficult process unless the guy is young, handsome and comfortable around women. Even then the guy can get taken for a ride.

However, for a farang who speaks Thai fluently there are opportunities everywhere. That puts the ball right back in your Indian/Canadian's court.

There is a GOOD reason why most foreign men wind up with hookers. That's because it's easy and where many of the pretty gals hang out.

I know at this time he is in Canada spending his valued night and day trying to get hooked up with some gals online just that they can meet when he is here end of Jan. I myself believe dont think he can and will meet someone that he defines as "good girl" that way. I volunteer to give him a hand to hook up with someone or even with friends but I think relationship takes time and dont just come overnight or a few days

[vspin134]

plenty of good ones here.

not to be discouraged by all these people that complain that they gave way too much money to the woman they tried to life with and thus introduced them to a lifestyle they didn't want to sustain later on.

it is common here for the man to lead and set rules.the right ones.

but yes -you meet flower girls at the flowermarket,waitresses at the restaurant ,students at the library and primadonnas at the bar.

and they all have family too,well most of them anyway...

there are plenty of good ppl around so called "good girl" but he just wants to get his head start by meeting up with someone online or communicate with someone way before he is here in Thailand in late Jan. i dont think normal "good girl" wont join dating service like that unless they have purpose or broken hearted by thai men...

[vspin134]

There is A dating service in chiang mai,not an internet service.I can't remember the name.google it ,ya should find it.

I do agree with some of the orhers.Learning thai is key.You talk to many of these single thai women in their language

they will be impressed.Then ya go on from there.Most thai women are on the conservative side,no sex before marriage.

Maybe some of the younger ones are A little more liberal.Take your time,don't be in A hurry.

i think he know a little Thai from his previous relationship...but the problem is that he doesnt live here in Thailand long enough to build strong relationship that may lead to living partner...i guess he can spend up to a month here.

[kalbo123]

If you look for love, you won't find it.

Live your "normal" life and if you are lucky love will find you...

[WinnieTheKhwai]

If you look for love, you won't find it.

Live your "normal" life and if you are lucky love will find you...

Beautiful!

[IanForbes]

There is a GOOD reason why most foreign men wind up with hookers. That's because it's easy and where many of the pretty gals hang out.

I don't know what kind of people you know but none of my 'foreign men' friends have wound up with a hooker.

Re-read what I wrote, not what you THINK I wrote. I said "MOST" foreign men meet the bar girls before they ever meet the many lovely Thai ladies who are NOT hookers. I've got several Thai friends who have lovely daughters that are polite to me, but wouldn't be seen alone with me in a public place. They KNOW where I spend my time and would not want their reputation sullied by being seen with an old man. Thais are VERY judgemental and quick to make up lies if they can perceive something is not right. They are much like many people here on thaivisa. I'll stand by what I've ever said on these forums. Like it or not, or believe it or not, but most Thais have high standards of behaviour.

Would I recommend that a foreign male try to start a long term relationship with a Thai hooker? No, but that's not saying it can't be done with the result of a loving couple who stick together for years. I know many of those marriages that have worked. Are there still going to be problems? Of course, just as there are problems in every marriage.

[IanForbes]

If you look for love, you won't find it.

Live your "normal" life and if you are lucky love will find you...

Beautiful!

X2 :jap:

Treat everyone with friendship and respect and you never know when karma will hand you a nice surprise. it' happens to me all the time. Just when I get a bit down or bored something always comes along to give me energy again.

[Ulysses G.]

If you look for love, you won't find it.

i've been looking in all the wrong places.

[amexpat]

If you look for love, you won't find it.

Live your "normal" life and if you are lucky love will find you...

Beautiful!

The key phrase here is "if you are lucky".

So you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk? (Dirty Harry)

If not, you'd better put some effort into helping those serendipitous moments happen more often.

[CheGuava]

There is A dating service in chiang mai,not an internet service.I can't remember the name.google it ,ya should find it.

I do agree with some of the orhers.Learning thai is key.You talk to many of these single thai women in their language

they will be impressed.Then ya go on from there.Most thai women are on the conservative side,no sex before marriage.

Maybe some of the younger ones are A little more liberal.Take your time,don't be in A hurry.

You are confusing 'face' with 'reality'

Almost all will have casual sex after a very short time, almost none will ever admit to it.

Absolutely correct. It's a stubborn myth that in this day and age women actually wait for marriage. Actually admitting to it is something else, of course.

[coma]

If he has been BURNT by a Thai girl already. And wants to come back for seconds then why is he asking you/us for advice? Surely we learn from our own mistakes.

"When in doubt, go without"

[nikster]

If you look for love, you won't find it.

Live your "normal" life and if you are lucky love will find you...

Nice one.

Honestly, I never came to Thailand looking for love here, in fact, I had absolutely no idea about the country. Wound up with a woman I fell in love with within a month?! So I'd say that worked for me.

But if you have the idea to date a Thai lady for love, then here's what I'd do:

- Come here

- Start to learn Thai

- Do the normal things that you enjoy

Put yourself in a position to meet the woman you seek, but don't obsess over the search. As a guy, I don't see why you would be overly concerned, you have plenty of time to start a family - no biological clock ticking. Thailand certainly has more than its fair share of opportunity.

I am not saying to stay away from the bar girls - but doing that, as it were, will probably distract you enough and cost you enough time that you won't meet any non-bar-girls. I don't think dating bar girls is impossible - if you are aware of, and OK with the history. But with a normal girl it's very easy to tell whether she's into you or not - much harder with a bar girl who is basically a professional actor.

Edited December 30, 2010 by nikster

[LivinLOS]

There is a GOOD reason why most foreign men wind up with hookers. That's because it's easy and where many of the pretty gals hang out.

I don't know what kind of people you know but none of my 'foreign men' friends have wound up with a hooker.

What you mean they stopped

[clinique]

Also sorry to rain on your parade, and not wishing to generlise but, "Good Thai Girl to marry with man of Indian decent/background "!!

I agree with previous poster - that is a very tough call.

Perhaps yuo and he have never heard the Thai proverb about 'the Snake and the Indian' ??

Anyway do wish him good luck for what he wants, but still very tough call culturally speaking.

[vspin134]

Does she have to be Thai? Why not try to find love in India?

i guess he thinks of Canadian and Indian girls are too strong too determined and he probably enjoys gentleness and easygoing of thai ladies

[vspin134]

it is the age old problem all over again. The "working girls" have learned their English in bars. That includes a good percentage of the women who go on-line for boyfriends and husbands. The so called "good girls" mostly don't speak English, and if they do they work for international companies, shops or banks. Very few attractive Thai women are not aware of how things work in Thailand. Meeting the "good girls" is a difficult process unless the guy is young, handsome and comfortable around women. Even then the guy can get taken for a ride.

However, for a farang who speaks Thai fluently there are opportunities everywhere. That puts the ball right back in your Indian/Canadian's court.

There is a GOOD reason why most foreign men wind up with hookers. That's because it's easy and where many of the pretty gals hang out.

Some VERY good advice here, Ian. I'd agree that the "good girls" in Thailand generally do not speak English well. And some that are extremely educated (i.e., attended western universities for their post-grad) just simply aren't interested in farangs. That leaves the ones that need English for their livlihood, e.g., bargirls, farang-hunters who troll the dating sites, etc. Honestly, I'd tend to avoid Thai girls who speak English a little too well.

But if one can speak Thai, that opens up a whole new frontier. I'm talking like day and night.

I must agree too with girls who do speak English too well...they are hunting for farang and wish to live a dream life in the western world (not all of them but most)

[CMX]

i guess he thinks of Canadian and Indian girls are too strong too determined and he probably enjoys gentleness and easygoing of thai ladies.

Poor soul, as you paint him, he's entirely delusional. In this enterprise, so are you. It's bar girls or regular life for him.

[pjclark1]

For God's sake

Can't he just fall for a hooker, like the rest of us have done.

Makes everything so much easier, and you are guaranteed a really good shag!

(Which, after all, is what we shallow men are really after)

Edited December 30, 2010 by pjclark1

[chuang]

So, this is for an Indian looking guy right? Objectively speaking, I'd say that's going to be a tough sell.

yes he is indian looking guy born in india and migrated to Canada. He is from well established and well educated family...been through a rough divorce and was broken-hearted by a thai girl last year. He has good chemistry towards thai so he is now looking to turn new page of relationship hopefully with thai girl for his future wife

So how much dowry you indian friend wants from the thai bride....i understand many women are maimed or killed by their in-laws when they can't paid them dowry...

[vspin134]

Does she have to be Thai? Why not try to find love in India?

like many of us we are attractted to LOS gentle girls

[newbie001]

I think that the Whites only club of racist that exist here on TV, should really just shut up. They have no idea what a good relationship is.

To the OP, there are many Thai women that want to date or marry foreigners, these are the ones that you need to stay away from.

A good partner is one that sees your friend as a person and not an ethnic group. If he tries to date women that are looking to marry a western man, they will undoubtedly have the same problems as he has had in the past.

But since he is looking for a "Thai Wife", I will tell you what. Have him find the most annoying woman in the street that he cannot stand at all, buy her a house and give her a few hundred thousand baht, have her slap him in the face, and that will save him of a few miserable years with the same result.

If you are looking for a certain type of person, it is more likely that they are not the right match for you.

I don't think that his ethnic background is the problem, I think that he is desperate. What decent women wants that.

To "Ian Forbes" You and I definitely live in different worlds. It is kind of like people who do drugs. "They think that most people do drugs also", or people that cheat on their spouse "they think that everyone else does too"

Hate to rain on your parade, but very few people live the same lifestyle that you do.

also there are a lot of women here that are virgins before they get married, they just don't typically date losers like on this forum who want to have sex before knowing a girls name.

I will admit that the number of sexual active girls from more respectable backgrounds is on the increase in the past decade but there are countless virgins in their mid to late 20's and even some into their 30's.

[clinique]

newbie1, what you say about ethnic groups may be ok for many of us, but most Thais (for cultural reasons) do not see it that way.

[vspin134]

Given all the advice here, adding it up, it is clear that your friend is not in the best position to be successful in his quest - if it is an honest one.

A. He has insufficient time to learn Thai.

B. He is in some degree "walking wounded" and not on his best balance.

C. He is a man of two cultures (to this or that degree) and wishes to engage a third in a permanent relationship.

However, there is a way to surmount these conditions if they apply, and other difficulties too. He should attend the Christian churches of Chiang Mai. Of course, many services are conducted in Thai, but there are those in English as well, attended by Thai women. And he must be pro-active, attending every moment that an opportunity arises. There may as well be "do-gooder" organizations involving Thai women who speak some English (or French - you never know with Canadians).

Or hire someone for a month and take his next vacation in India. Bad marriage or not, if he cannot find affinities in Canada, he'll have better luck in India. Not incidentally, it is true that Thai people have a "thing" against the people of India. Sadly, we all seem to need to look down on somebody and India is right down there with Cambodians or Hill Tribe people (political and whom do you want to marry). Go figure.

Note that though we hear of and see enduring relationships between foreign males and Thai women all the time here, they are rarely based on equals in education and income. Also, as has been mentioned, one never marries a woman, from whatever walk of life, without marrying her family, lock, stock, and the barrel too.

Finally, I would not become involved, if I were you. Has catastrophe written on it, though the romantic wishes him luck.

I think what he is applies to all three A,B, and C. i am not sure if he knows what he is getting himself into...he sure is a nice guy who is quite successful in his career but just no luck with woman thats all. As i mentioned earlier he has been through a rough divorce so ow what he is looking at just a simple life with good relationship.

[vspin134]

If you look for love, you won't find it.

Live your "normal" life and if you are lucky love will find you...

agree...totally agree

[vspin134]

I think that the Whites only club of racist that exist here on TV, should really just shut up. They have no idea what a good relationship is.

To the OP, there are many Thai women that want to date or marry foreigners, these are the ones that you need to stay away from.

A good partner is one that sees your friend as a person and not an ethnic group. If he tries to date women that are looking to marry a western man, they will undoubtedly have the same problems as he has had in the past.

But since he is looking for a "Thai Wife", I will tell you what. Have him find the most annoying woman in the street that he cannot stand at all, buy her a house and give her a few hundred thousand baht, have her slap him in the face, and that will save him of a few miserable years with the same result.

If you are looking for a certain type of person, it is more likely that they are not the right match for you.

I don't think that his ethnic background is the problem, I think that he is desperate. What decent women wants that.

To "Ian Forbes" You and I definitely live in different worlds. It is kind of like people who do drugs. "They think that most people do drugs also", or people that cheat on their spouse "they think that everyone else does too"

Hate to rain on your parade, but very few people live the same lifestyle that you do.

also there are a lot of women here that are virgins before they get married, they just don't typically date losers like on this forum who want to have sex before knowing a girls name.

I will admit that the number of sexual active girls from more respectable backgrounds is on the increase in the past decade but there are countless virgins in their mid to late 20's and even some into their 30's.

I certainly feel he has a little hope at least somebody mentions about ethic background is no problem. To me i see that education and background has some relationship with how you see a person beyond looks and ethic group. What is the chance for him to find that "good girl" online or through a social network??

[newbie001]

Clinique, You are right, you will never see people of Indian decent married to Thais, so all of the ones that live on Changklan Road are an illusion.

Wake up and smell reality. There are plenty of people from good families in Thailand that see a person for who their are not what they look like.

Yes, there is racial prejudice here just like there is everywhere but for a true relationship the person will care about more than just Ethnic background.

Those that are looking for someone of a particular race usually end up in a superficial relationship.

OP

I don't know what a good girl is. Is your friend a pedophile? I thought that he wanted to date someone. He should be looking for a woman not a girl. A good partner is one that respects you for who you are. Where you find them is irrelevant, but I don't personally believe that relationships built on dating sites on the best.

As stated before, people that are looking for marriage are desperate.

[Tonto21]

Very true, there are lots of “good girls” honest and trustworthy, but coming to Thailand looking for love and marriage, in a month? Please! Get down the bar beer and do some shagging, get it out your system. Need to knock off all the rough edges and chill down. Your friends not here to save anyone from a life of poverty trust me he wouldn’t be the first white knight they’ve seen. And the little wife will turn from a sex kitten to a hissing cat in a heartbeat, when she doesn’t get her way. I also think with him being once bitten……..He wants more? If he comes here with his heart on his sleeve the professionals here will see it as a clear as a 6ft high ATM sign above his head. Good luck

[Tonto21]

e

Clinique, You are right, you will never see people of Indian decent married to Thais, so all of the ones that live on Changklan Road are an illusion.

Wake up and smell reality. There are plenty of people from good families in Thailand that see a person for who their are not what they look like.

Yes, there is racial prejudice here just like there is everywhere but for a true relationship the person will care about more than just Ethnic background.

Those that are looking for someone of a particular race usually end up in a superficial relationship.

OP

I don't know what a good girl is. Is your friend a pedophile? I thought that he wanted to date someone. He should be looking for a woman not a girl. A good partner is one that respects you for who you are. Where you find them is irrelevant, but I don't personally believe that relationships built on dating sites on the best.

As stated before, people that are looking for marriage are desperate.

Hi newbie001

Are you an English speaking native?

I ask because of your question; “is your friend a pedophile?” What sort of remark is that, because he refers to women as girls. In the English language we use the term girls a lot to describe women and boys instead of men……….Ever heard of the expression “Boys night out” “girls night out” Yes….No? If you are an English speaking native……..Not a very nice thing to write!

[slapout]

I have not noticed many Thai women married to Indians nor Afro's either. Granted there are some, but when you knock out those (Thai women) who would not consider social interaction much less marriage, the number of prospects is reduced substantially. The relatively small group of India I know are all married to Indian women. This includes several merchants on Chang Klan, the fabric merchants, clothing makers, furniture people and even a couple school teachers. I never considered it a result racial prejudice, hell the Thais seem prejudice against everyone including their own.