What'S With The Age Dynamic Of Dates Here?

[pjclark1]

so would be: talking, cuddling, kissing, wanting me to be part of her life outside of the bedroom (meeting family/friends/etc), being clean (i.e. brushing her teeth/washing etc), being nice to my family and so on.

Sorry I think your case has further to go to be convincing. I would not want to marry a women that would not wash under any circumstance, but that doesn't mean I will marry any women that does. One does not prove the other.

I was thinking more in the way of refusing social entertainment activities like sailing or playing golf with YOU as a partner.

Rather than refusing random activities that effectively removed her from civilized society (or the human race).

Edited January 19, 2011 by pjclark1

[tim armstrong]

DocHolliday,

Without being insulting, take a week out, find a good English bookshop, ask the best looking English speaking assistant (about your own age) for advice, and buy some good books about Thai/farlang relationships. Start with 'Thailand Fever'- it has a yellow cover. By the time you have read a few, you will be better informed, more confident and probably able to ask the sales assistant for a date. Go for it.

[IanForbes]

A lot of good looking farang guys end up with really bad looking chicks. Think some guys just go with whoever latches on to them first, regardless of looks, employment, or anything else. It's very odd and I know a few chicks that are quite annoyed with this phenomena.

I've seen it happen many times myself and often wonder why. I think it's that some women have a charm they can turn off and on, and men are suckers for it. I've seen many relatively plain Thai women turn into beauties when they smile. It might be as simple as that. And, as most men enjoy being appreciated they are suckers for an aggressive woman with a lot of charm.

I've watched one particular woman in a bar I frequent seduce man after man. And yet, she is the last of the women in that bar that I would pick. I think she does twice the business of all other girls in that bar combined. And, there are 2 or 3 real cuties working there.

[wolf5370]

so would be: talking, cuddling, kissing, wanting me to be part of her life outside of the bedroom (meeting family/friends/etc), being clean (i.e. brushing her teeth/washing etc), being nice to my family and so on.

Sorry I think your case has further to go to be convincing. I would not want to marry a women that would not wash under any circumstance, but that doesn't mean I will marry any women that does. One does not prove the other.

I was thinking more in the way of refusing sailing or playing golf with YOU as a partner.

Rather than refusing random activities that effectively removed her from civilized society (or the human race).

:cheesy: Now that made me laugh out loud!

[mca]

Yeah.

" I mean, I like you and all that Nok but the fact that you've never washed your arse after taking a dump in your life leaving you with klingons, tagnuts and dangleberries 25 years old is slightly off-putting"

[pjclark1]

A lot of good looking farang guys end up with really bad looking chicks. Think some guys just go with whoever latches on to them first, regardless of looks, employment, or anything else. It's very odd and I know a few chicks that are quite annoyed with this phenomena.

I've seen it happen many times myself and often wonder why. I think it's that some women have a charm they can turn off and on, and men are suckers for it. I've seen many relatively plain Thai women turn into beauties when they smile. It might be as simple as that. And, as most men enjoy being appreciated they are suckers for an aggressive woman with a lot of charm.

I've watched one particular woman in a bar I frequent seduce man after man. And yet, she is the last of the women in that bar that I would pick. I think she does twice the business of all other girls in that bar combined. And, there are 2 or 3 real cuties working there.

This is more to do with aggression from the woman and social incompetence from the man (or years of being pussy whipped in the west).

He has never done well with women (usually a geek) and accepts the first woman who smiles and seems willing to shag him, which brings us back to :- all a man wants is a shag and doesn't care who it's with.

Some porker sits beside a guy too polite to tell her to bog off. The number of times I have had to bring over a pretty girl to replace an unsuitable one that's jumped on a mate.

English guys are the worst, "I didn't know how to tell her to go away", yeah right you pussy!

Canadians are also offenders in the 'pussy whipped in the west' class.

Edited January 19, 2011 by pjclark1

[dmax]

money is money , dollars are dollars and baht is baht in whatever shape or form or whoever it comes from, simple its all about the MONEY !!

[wolf5370]

A lot of good looking farang guys end up with really bad looking chicks. Think some guys just go with whoever latches on to them first, regardless of looks, employment, or anything else. It's very odd and I know a few chicks that are quite annoyed with this phenomena.

I've seen it happen many times myself and often wonder why. I think it's that some women have a charm they can turn off and on, and men are suckers for it. I've seen many relatively plain Thai women turn into beauties when they smile. It might be as simple as that. And, as most men enjoy being appreciated they are suckers for an aggressive woman with a lot of charm.

I've watched one particular woman in a bar I frequent seduce man after man. And yet, she is the last of the women in that bar that I would pick. I think she does twice the business of all other girls in that bar combined. And, there are 2 or 3 real cuties working there.

This is more to do with aggression from the woman and social incompetence from the man (or years of being pussy whipped in the west).

He has never done well with women (usually a geek) and accepts the first woman who smiles and seems willing to shag him, which brings us back to :- all a man wants is a shag and doesn't care who it's with.

Some porker sits beside a guy too polite to tell her to bog off. The number of times I have had to bring over a pretty girl to replace an unsuitable one that's jumped on a mate.

English guys are the worst (too polite), "I didn't know how to tell her to go away", yeah right you pussy!

Yes never understood this either - even if you do not have the nerve (or Thai) to say "go back to your subterrane troglodyte" - it can be made obvious by just ignoring or putting obvious interest elsewhere. (Still don't agree with wanting to shag anything though - still like to shag without the aid of paper bag)

[JurgenG]

Relationships for men is (nearly) always about sex, all we really want is a regular shag, most of us don't care how we get it or who we get it from, some lie that they do care. Some lie that they love her to try and get a shag.

Relationships for women is (nearly) always about lifestyle, they have as little sex with you as they can, while getting the best lifestyle they can out of you. Some lie that they love you, but they still don't want to shag you.

Asia and the western world are exactly the same, in Asia it's just a lot cheaper.

Of course there are some exceptions.

I think you get only half of the equation right. Men are not only looking for a regular (and good) shag, as you put it, but they're also looking for a socially acceptable mate and a good mother for their kids, which is not always compatible.

Thais think they can have it both way, there are girls they marry and those they have fun with. But thinking Thai people find acceptable to marry the girls you have fun with (usually bar or massage parlor girls) is wrong.

It's not a moral opinion, juts facts.

Then there are the mia noi, this is a different matter, but it was also common in the west to entertain one ore more mistress for those who can afford it.

So it's not much different from the west but as you rightly put it, in Asia it's much cheaper.

.

[inmysights]

Christiano Ronaldo did it.

Or sort of did it.

He even popped up to (the football) Club events with 2-3 call girls sometimes.

I have a feeling the wifes and gf's of his colleagues did not approve.

Footballers and pop stars always marry and date girls that really love them, they are never in it for the fame, money and lifestyle.

In Thailand we are all football and pop stars, you just need less money.

Relationships for men is (nearly) always about sex, all we really want is a regular shag, most of us don't care how we get it or who we get it from, some lie that they do care. Some lie that they love her to try and get a shag.

Relationships for women is (nearly) always about lifestyle, they have as little sex with you as they can, while getting the best lifestyle they can out of you. Some lie that they love you, but they still don't want to shag you.

Asia and the western world are exactly the same, in Asia it's just a lot cheaper.

Of course there are some exceptions.

God you talk absolute crap.

Women enjoy recreational sex, exactly the same as men. I'm pretty sure Asian women do too, but there seems to be a consensus on this particular forum, that Asia (read Thai) women, will only shag you for money. And from what I've seen in my 'hood, rightly so.

Now.There again I'm located on Phuket. Draw your own conclusions, same Pattaya and Patpong, to name just a few 'entertainment' venues.

Having said that, there are instances (me, for one) who was happily married to a Thai MAN for ten years until his untimely demise last year. When we met I neither spoke a word of Thai, nor he English. He was just so funny, exotic, and kind.

Having said that, I found myself screaming at him loudly in English to try to get my point across. However, finding this not to help matters, enlisted us both in Thai and English schools. Improved matters no end, but didn't want to take it too far as farang men now give me the heave and couldn't possibly imagine myself in a relationship other than platonic with any of them.

By the by,to quote John Cleese: 'opposites attract?' the cry of the truly desperate.

Edited January 19, 2011 by inmysights

[samran]

Drop dead gorgeous? My impression is that many of these 'stunners' look like they've had an accident with a 2x4. No offence to those who find this attractive, and I'm sure they have phenomenal personalities, it just isn't my definition of beauty.

Anyway, what is more interesting is the 'conversation' that is being had over dinner. The foreigner dumbing down everything into three word sentences, each word containing no more than one syllable. Thai lady nodding furiously, not understanding a word that is being said.

What is going on then? Nothing more than a transaction.

A farang bloke deluding himself he is getting a genuine human interaction.

A Thai lass counting the seconds till she can get away from him.

The OP is light in the deductive reasoning department if he has to come on TV to ask these questions.

And Samran, you need to get out more. There truly are many attractive ladies in the Guest Relation industry. Not all, mind you, not even most, but many.

Get out more? I used walk through lower Suk every night after work on the way home and never saw one of these mythical stunners that you refer to....

I mean, if they did exist, you'd think that if a guy was paying for it, he'd go for the 'stunner' over the the bored looking chick walking around in an oversized T-shirt and shorts?

[TAWP]

Drop dead gorgeous? My impression is that many of these 'stunners' look like they've had an accident with a 2x4.

So true.

That is one of my gripes with both 'presumed beauties' and 'up-scale ladies of class'. The former often have great bodies (many times surgically enhanced) and the latter group often has class, manners and brain - but most I see are highly deficient in the face-department, sporting a highly unfortunate genetics towards the butt-ugly. It is really conflicting.

And I understand those that go out with these women, I did too, but I would never be together with them. An amazing face in addition to the other parts are very important to me.

[Berkshire]

Drop dead gorgeous? My impression is that many of these 'stunners' look like they've had an accident with a 2x4.

So true.

The OP must be a merchant marine or sailor of some kind. He's obviously been out to sea too long if he thinks that.

[pjclark1]

God you talk absolute crap.

Women enjoy recreational sex, exactly the same as men. I'm pretty sure Asian women do too, but there seems to be a consensus on this particular forum, that Asia (read Thai) women, will only shag you for money. And from what I've seen in my 'hood, rightly so.

Now.There again I'm located on Phuket. Draw your own conclusions, same Pattaya and Patpong, to name just a few 'entertainment' venues.

Having said that, there are instances (me, for one) who was happily married to a Thai MAN for ten years until his untimely demise last year. When we met I neither spoke a word of Thai, nor he English. He was just so funny, exotic, and kind.

Having said that, I found myself screaming at him loudly in English to try to get my point across. However, finding this not to help matters, enlisted us both in Thai and English schools. Improved matters no end, but didn't want to take it too far as farang men now give me the heave and couldn't possibly imagine myself in a relationship other than platonic with any of them.

By the by,to quote John Cleese: 'opposites attract?' the cry of the truly desperate.

You insult me, then you agree with me.

But I also agree with you, western women also give me the heave, I can't imagine myself in a relationship with one of them again.

(for some reason many of them think it is OK to scream at their partners)

By the way, Platonic relationships are about love between two men and traditionally involve sex, the Victorians misunderstood, you should read more about Plato.

Edited January 20, 2011 by pjclark1

[SantiSuk]

A lesson I learned: A fair while ago I was talking with a friend. This rather large, 50 something, German guy came in, said "Hi" tio the owner and picked up some take away. On his Honda Dream sat a young Thai girl. I thought she looked really young and mentioned it to the guy I was talking to. He laughed. He told me he takes her everywhere with him. He also told me she was his daughter. Made me feel like an idiot really, I just assumed it was his "lady". She was only 15 or so. His wife had run off and left them and he brought up the girl alone and doted on her in a purely godd-fathered way.

.....

I get the same sometimes when I'm out with my one year old and our 12 year old adopted daughter is in tow but my wife is in the beauty salon, fortune tellers, clothes shop, etc. Usually it is elderly European ladies who look at me in disgust. Sometimes when I am sure of what they are thinking and if they are English speaking I embarrass them by saying 'take that dirty unwarranted thought out of your brain .. etc etc' but mostly I just pass on. I guess it goes with the territory here.

Thais are much more circumspect - they will come up to play with the look kreung and ask if my other daughter is also my daughter with not a hint of anything more untoward (I think but you can never be sure as a foreigner!).

[pjclark1]

I get the same sometimes when I'm out with my one year old and our 12 year old adopted daughter is in tow but my wife is in the beauty salon, fortune tellers, clothes shop, etc. Usually it is elderly European ladies who look at me in disgust. Sometimes when I am sure of what they are thinking and if they are English speaking I embarrass them by saying 'take that dirty unwarranted thought out of your brain .. etc etc' but mostly I just pass on. I guess it goes with the territory here.

I always give my gfs 13 yo daughter a big cuddle when I see the westerners looking, if they speak, I tell em my gf is my mother-in-law.

[Kwasaki]

To the OP it is called ..rent-a-wife. It's a business arrangement between two people who know the score. Or, should know the score. It's got nothing to do about love or commitment. It's got everything to do about money. No different than picking out an expensive watch or a cheap immitation. The gal gets a nice place to sleep and doesn't have to share with 3 other women. She gets all her meals and drinks paid for and a monthly allowance that usually averages more than she could make working at the 7-11 or other menial job that she's only qualified for. The guy gets someone reasonably attractive for company and sex. No harm, no foul. I won't go into other discussions about prostitution because it's frowned on by thaivisa, and actually illegal in Thailand.

Most elderly men who come to Thailand to find love would never have a chance at any young woman in his home country. Like it or not, the fact remains that most men like young attractive women. They can't fnd that elsewhere, unless they are also young and attractive themselves. It's really quite simple and nobody's business but the couple in question.

Why did the widowed Jackie Kennedy marry Aristotle Onassis? He was 62 at the time and she was about 23 years his junior. The only answer is money or power... which she was used to having.

+1 well written.

DocHolliday2006................." Ian " has more or less writen the words out of my thoughts.

What exactly do the women get out of this ? .......What ever they can get or given.

What exactly is going on here ? .....Fun and expectation.

Are they just prostitutes ?...... I do not and have never seen it that way, I would say no ! certainly not in any seedy way.

Looking to marry rich western men ?...... Yes ! but not necessary rich in all cases " if they are what they call lucky " and end up in a secure relationship, why shouldn't they, after all they are human beings aswell.

Edited January 20, 2011 by Kwasaki

[Ijustwannateach]

Christiano Ronaldo did it.

Or sort of did it.

He even popped up to (the football) Club events with 2-3 call girls sometimes.

I have a feeling the wifes and gf's of his colleagues did not approve.

Footballers and pop stars always marry and date girls that really love them, they are never in it for the fame, money and lifestyle.

In Thailand we are all football and pop stars, you just need less money.

Relationships for men is (nearly) always about sex, all we really want is a regular shag, most of us don't care how we get it or who we get it from, some lie that they do care. Some lie that they love her to try and get a shag.

Relationships for women is (nearly) always about lifestyle, they have as little sex with you as they can, while getting the best lifestyle they can out of you. Some lie that they love you, but they still don't want to shag you.

Asia and the western world are exactly the same, in Asia it's just a lot cheaper.

Of course there are some exceptions.

Strangely, and possibly a bit off-topic, the straight women I've known well- whether Thai, Japanese, or native-English-speaking- actually did want to enjoy sex with their partners, and for most of them it mattered a *lot* who those guys were.

Similarly, as far as I'm concerned, I care a lot about who I'm with. If the physical act was all that mattered, I'd probably be a lot more active. Not saying that I would never have sex simply from the physical side of it, but I would still have some limits about what I was willing to do with whom- for emotional as well as physical reasons- and if nothing within those limits was available then I choose to be alone. I know straight guys who are the same. It's as much about self-respect and other-respect as about satisfying a need- and I'd say the need is much more satisfied when you satisfy it in a self- and other- nurturing way.

So, not saying that every male is like this- but every gay/straight male is not the way you depict.

[pjclark1]

So, not saying that every male is like this- but every gay/straight male is not the way you depict.

That's why I used the word 'NEARLY'

Not every male, but quite a large number of them, and many would never admit it.

I used to know many gay men, and they always went for the best looking guys they could get, never cared about personality at all, just the surface looks.

[Travel2003]

Drop dead gorgeous? My impression is that many of these 'stunners' look like they've had an accident with a 2x4.

So true.

The OP must be a merchant marine or sailor of some kind. He's obviously been out to sea too long if he thinks that.

Maybe OP is not as irresistable handsome as Mr. samram and Mr. DP25, who can pick and choose, and shamelessly can state the fact that another person is ugly or not.

[travelmann]

what makes me wonder in Thailand is when I see reasonably presentable farang with rather plain Thai women about their own age.

Is it that the the woman have a fantastic personality ? Or are they so insecure that they have to chose someone that one one else could desire?

Or, they find sex uninteresting and just want a companion?

The 3 most cracking looking Thai women I've ever known have unfortunately been as thick as shit with the personalities of the average kitchen sink. Give me a plain Jane Thai who can make me laugh, when you mention Bill Gates doesn't say " Who?" and doesn't need 5 minutes to find Thailand on a map of the world any day of the week.

But shureley hic Thailand is the centre of the world and wherever the world stops thst must be Thailand..........

[Ulysses G.]

Get out more? I used walk through lower Suk every night after work on the way home and never saw one of these mythical stunners that you refer to....

I mean, if they did exist, you'd think that if a guy was paying for it, he'd go for the 'stunner' over the the bored looking chick walking around in an oversized T-shirt and shorts?

Believe me, there are stunners there, but they are outnumbered considerably by less attractive members of the species - although if you are Thai, your tastes may differ.

My theory is that most foreigners are not willing to go through all the hassles of searching for and wooing stunners as they almost always are already with a man when you spot one and often with several more suitors waiting in line to pounce if the other guy leaves.

The truth is that most guys will just settle for pretty much anyone who pretends to like them until they get out of the bar, so they do not bother with the real beauties.

[chops]

The real question should be why you think there is a problem with this arrangement.

So a 60 year old wants a 20 year old. Have a problem with that?

Now if I wanted a 60 old woman(I'm 30), would you have a problem with that as well?

Seriously, no man wants an older woman to be with. Maybe if she's 30 it's okay, but certainly he doesn't want a 50 year old one.

[chops]

To the OP it is called ..rent-a-wife. It's a business arrangement between two people who know the score. Or, should know the score. It's got nothing to do about love or commitment. It's got everything to do about money. No different than picking out an expensive watch or a cheap immitation. The gal gets a nice place to sleep and doesn't have to share with 3 other women. She gets all her meals and drinks paid for and a monthly allowance that usually averages more than she could make working at the 7-11 or other menial job that she's only qualified for. The guy gets someone reasonably attractive for company and sex. No harm, no foul. I won't go into other discussions about prostitution because it's frowned on by thaivisa, and actually illegal in Thailand.

Most elderly men who come to Thailand to find love would never have a chance at any young woman in his home country. Like it or not, the fact remains that most men like young attractive women. They can't fnd that elsewhere, unless they are also young and attractive themselves. It's really quite simple and nobody's business but the couple in question.

Why did the widowed Jackie Kennedy marry Aristotle Onassis? He was 62 at the time and she was about 23 years his junior. The only answer is money or power... which she was used to having.

Now that's just not true. I was not able to find a woman in the US, despite being young. So your theory is all wrong.

Fact is, you need money to have any women. Doesn't matter what you look like. Good looks and young age help, but it's not the decisive factor.

Remember that shirt? Says "No money No honey". 100% fact of life.

[jazzbo]

As per UG's #52: My theory is that most foreigners are not willing to go through all the hassles of searching for and wooing stunners ... And it is most likely futile. IMHO the only way an older guy ends up with a stunner on any legitimate basis is when THEY find you...

[chops]

A lesson I learned: A fair while ago I was talking with a friend. This rather large, 50 something, German guy came in, said "Hi" tio the owner and picked up some take away. On his Honda Dream sat a young Thai girl. I thought she looked really young and mentioned it to the guy I was talking to. He laughed. He told me he takes her everywhere with him. He also told me she was his daughter. Made me feel like an idiot really, I just assumed it was his "lady". She was only 15 or so. His wife had run off and left them and he brought up the girl alone and doted on her in a purely godd-fathered way.

Any way - I guess mostly it IS what it looks like.

An older guy with a younger woman. I don';t know the Ops expewrience with Thai women, he admits to only being here a few days, Thai women often look much younger to westerners than they are. Age gaps may not be as wide as you think. Also, as Samram alludes to, not everyone sees beauty in the same way. Thais, like many Asians, tend to see light skin as a sign of beauty - I have seen Thai men drooling over girls I think rtan into the ugly pole, but theyt had light coloured (or white) skin. I have also had Thai men tell me someone is ugly when to me they look fine! simply because they were dark. To each their own. In a country where the local populous has you marked as ugly, a group of people that honestly see you as beautiful has got to be an attraction. Women in the thrities and up here - especially divorcees/widows with kids - find it hard to find someone to be with long term (especially when they have no assets!) so an interested male with resources and the will to care, look after and even love them and their kids, is a major attraction in itself - who wants to be alone for ever? Not everything is as black and white as some like to preach.

When it is just an old guy wanting to get his leg over a just-out-of-her-teens young lady, then one wonders what they could honestly think that the young lady has in her minnd other than the profit of a hard night's work. The point of prostitution is sex without the ties - adding in ties (even mentally) kind of defeats the object I think.

The less they have in common, the less interest they surely have. It may be true that opposites attract, but do they stay attracted for long? If he wants love and she wants money, at some point she will either think its not enough money, he will run out of money, she will have enough to jump ship, or she will find a better source of money - whichever it is, his investment is much harder to relocate than hers is.

I really don't think looks or age are that important. Okay, I agree a 60 old obese smelly slob is going to be tough for a woman to be with. But if they are not fat, smelly, or overly aged, I see no reason why it would be that important of a matter.

Go to a dating site and search for some ladies. You'll find that most older women will not marry a younger man. Why is that? It certainly isn't because young guys are ugly.

I think a bigger point is that people like to be with others like them, similar interests, etc. Looks has a minor role in most relationships.

[jdinasia]

Relationships for women is (nearly) always about lifestyle, they have as little sex with you as they can, while getting the best lifestyle they can out of you. Some lie that they love you, but they still don't want to shag you.

It must be horrible in your world

pjclark1

If you have had relationships with someone that doesn't want sex, you might want to consider a full review of your own personal hygiene and presentation

[pjclark1]

pjclark1

If you have had relationships with someone that doesn't want sex, you might want to consider a full review of your own personal hygiene and presentation

Thai ladies don't seem to have a problem having sex with me (sometimes I don't even have to pay), and they are very picky about hygiene.

But then I am a very handsome man!

Edited January 21, 2011 by pjclark1

[jdinasia]

pjclark1

If you have had relationships with someone that doesn't want sex, you might want to consider a full review of your own personal hygiene and presentation

Thai ladies don't seem to have a problem having sex with me (sometimes I don't even have to pay), and they are very picky about hygiene.

But then I am a very handsome man!

Then your other post generalizing women must certainly be a fabrication ... or the one I am responding to now is

[PlanetX]

why are so many people concerned with this topic?

Who cares - obviously it works for both of them

Edited January 22, 2011 by PlanetX