Thai Men + Farang Women

[aneliane]

And while I guess you could say my husband is the beach/boat variety, that would be a tad ingenuous since he actually owns the resort on the beach he lives on and his boat is a powerboat. And he fishes daily but with a collection of expensive rods and reels that would be the envy of most western fishermen. Its a hobby, he loves it, so why not?

Wow sound like you got yourself a dreamy man (appart from the fishing for me), Where where where did you meet, please do share !!!!

[aneliane]

Well my blood line has certainly been sullied. Daughter number one married a Canadian. The family was aghast. Daughter number two went to college in Japan and her views on Japanese men are not fit to print here. Gadzooks she came back home and married a Canadian too! Daughter number three was seriously dating a Korean man and I gave her a sword for Christmas (she was into martial arts).

The moral of my story is watch out for those Canadians.

Good one ! But I was told the girls having kids with foreign dudes was ok, it the son that mattered (apparently to Chinese culture) The son had to give "proper" 100% chinese off spring.

[aneliane]

It's really not that hard of a question to answer.

There are very few young attractive white women floating around in Thailand. MOST of the ones you see here are overweight, older, and not very attractive (might be harsh, but it's true). There are so many young attractive slim Thai women around. Thai men would prefer to have the obvious.

Have you ever been to Koh San Road?

While I am not in the demographic of interest to them, the place is packed with young, attractive women from the West. (I may not be of interest to them, but I can still look.) And if you are ever there on the weekend, there are a good number of Thai young men going there to meet said Western women.

Walk down Wittayu Road sometime during lunchtime. There are many, many young women there.

OK, so the Koh San crew may not be in the market for a long-term relationship, but it is silly to say that most Western women here are "overweight, older, and not very attractive." (And since when has any of those precluded a happy relationship anyway?) And as sbk has pointed out many times, but seems to get ignored, she came here quite young and married young, so that is a confirmed case where a young, attractive woman married a Thai man.

Oh dear im 42 and not a size 4, so in your own words "older and overweight and not attractive", so im doomed?

[aneliane]

In response to the OP, as a Western female I find v few Thai men attractive.

They are generally too short and not my idea of attractive anyway.

Those that I do consider attractive are younger than me, so there is not a chance in hell that I would consider them as a potential partner - its a case of 'enjoy, but that's as far as it could possibly go.

Western women here aren't normally stupid, so realise that younger Thai men (with a profession) would not find an older farang woman attractive....

I have exactly the same problem ; ie Men of my own age are

1) not attractive because mainly "old fashion" and do not make any effort to look good - who ever decided that dirty old Adda plastic slippers are to be worn on everyday with everything and on every occasion should be shot in the name of crime against fashion-

2) of the generation that did not bother to learn English, so it's kind of hard to communicate. Having said that it's also my fault for not getting my thai sorted out...

So I agree totally with you except that I would not date younger men even if they wanted to. I need to be able to connect with my partner.

I guess that makes me, choosy, and picky and if you ad slightly overweight and older (42), I get ranked as future old spinster in this country...

I think I got my answers !!! Thank you everyone ....

Edited January 21, 2011 by aneliane

[WinnieTheKhwai]

It's really not that hard of a question to answer.

There are very few young attractive white women floating around in Thailand. MOST of the ones you see here are overweight, older, and not very attractive (might be harsh, but it's true). There are so many young attractive slim Thai women around. Thai men would prefer to have the obvious.

Have you ever been to Koh San Road?

While I am not in the demographic of interest to them, the place is packed with young, attractive women from the West. (I may not be of interest to them, but I can still look.) And if you are ever there on the weekend, there are a good number of Thai young men going there to meet said Western women.

Walk down Wittayu Road sometime during lunchtime. There are many, many young women there.

OK, so the Koh San crew may not be in the market for a long-term relationship, but it is silly to say that most Western women here are "overweight, older, and not very attractive." (And since when has any of those precluded a happy relationship anyway?) And as sbk has pointed out many times, but seems to get ignored, she came here quite young and married young, so that is a confirmed case where a young, attractive woman married a Thai man.

Oh dear im 42 and not a size 4, so in your own words "older and overweight and not attractive", so im doomed?

Not at all! You're not that much older than I am. 42 is not old. Definitely not old. It's a minor promotion from thirty-something.

[mca]

And while I guess you could say my husband is the beach/boat variety, that would be a tad ingenuous since he actually owns the resort on the beach he lives on and his boat is a powerboat. And he fishes daily but with a collection of expensive rods and reels that would be the envy of most western fishermen. Its a hobby, he loves it, so why not?

Wow sound like you got yourself a dreamy man (appart from the fishing for me), Where where where did you meet, please do share !!!!

Don't forget he's also Chinese Thai, studied abroad and has never worked as a prostitute.

[somtampet]

Go to some of the backpacker beach resorts, the Thai beach dudes at those places shag loads of farang chicks

This type of post is frowned on here for some reason,maybe cos farang girs NEVER pay for sex with thai barboys or beach bums.All farang women have hi-so bf or husbands that work in banks and offices etc etc

[aneliane]

Thai men are shy to approach a western woman because (1) they are afraid their English skills aren't good enough (though usually their English is just fine, plus lots of us speak Thai, too!), and (2) we exhibit some qualities that are not normally found in a Thai female (for some of us, that includes a fondness for the saying the word "<deleted>," for which my Thai male friends are always admonishing me "that is not polite!")

For the record I should point out that

• I did say also that Asian men were afraid to loose face before farang women because of their English, (so I was not completely off topic)
• I hardly ever use the F word, and will try to be on my best behavior here, especially after reading your post, thank you

[aneliane]

Go to some of the backpacker beach resorts, the Thai beach dudes at those places shag loads of farang chicks

This type of post is frowned on here for some reason,maybe cos farang girs NEVER pay for sex with thai barboys or beach bums.All farang women have hi-so bf or husbands that work in banks and offices etc etc

I did not think I had to justify myself on the matter, but since quite a few seem more fascinated by the issue as to why farang women are (or are not) into sexual encounters with locals, than my actual and initial question ( which was about RELATIONSHIPS) here I go :

I would say as a person, I try to have meaningful and adult relationships, and generally avoid taking advantage of whichever social status I could have, in local men's eyes - ie I am so-called "rich" in their eyes anyway and can potentially entertain them /buy them drinks / clothes / food, or get them whatever advantage they fanthom of.

So the idea of paying for sex or even having beach sex with a local beach boy, would be so biaised by economical cliches or stereotypes that it would completely turn me off.

[aneliane]

[ WAKE UP! Don't get angry just because Thailand is a mans' world not a womans'

Wow that is an interesting comment ...

So Thailand is A MAN's World ? The all country is designed to please men's impulses ? Is that what you are saying ? Please do elaborate ...

Edited January 21, 2011 by aneliane

[LazarusEffect]

My guess would be simply because Thailand isn't their destination of choice. I spent 2 years in Jamaica and it looked like a reverse Pattaya, white women in droves with their Black boy toys. Everyone likes something different I guess. I would guess the white men here like something smaller, darker, and more traditionally feminine then what is readily available to them at home. While the white women like something, bigger, darker and more laid back and masculine than what's available to them at home.

Assuming such is the case, Thailand is great for the men, but somewhat lacking for the women.

A touch over simplified sure, but I'd bet I got the heart of it right.

[aneliane]

My guess would be simply because Thailand isn't their destination of choice. I spent 2 years in Jamaica and it looked like a reverse Pattaya, white women in droves with their Black boy toys. Everyone likes something different I guess. I would guess the white men here like something smaller, darker, and more traditionally feminine then what is readily available to them at home. While the white women like something, bigger, darker and more laid back and masculine than what's available to them at home.

Assuming such is the case, Thailand is great for the men, but somewhat lacking for the women.

A touch over simplified sure, but I'd bet I got the heart of it right.

But again your world is ruled by (paid ) sex. The subject was RELATIONSHIPS

Sure Pattaya and probably Thailand is the biggest brothel in the world and caters very well for heterosexual western men who can't face demanding girlfriends back in their country.

But my topic was about "normal" relationships, Long term ones, marriages, you know with feeling, the ones that last more than a couple of humps ?

Edited January 21, 2011 by aneliane

[mark45y]

My guess would be simply because Thailand isn't their destination of choice. I spent 2 years in Jamaica and it looked like a reverse Pattaya, white women in droves with their Black boy toys. Everyone likes something different I guess. I would guess the white men here like something smaller, darker, and more traditionally feminine then what is readily available to them at home. While the white women like something, bigger, darker and more laid back and masculine than what's available to them at home.

Assuming such is the case, Thailand is great for the men, but somewhat lacking for the women.

A touch over simplified sure, but I'd bet I got the heart of it right.

Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?

Rick: My health. I came for the waters.

Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.

Rick: I was misinformed.

[sbk]

And while I guess you could say my husband is the beach/boat variety, that would be a tad ingenuous since he actually owns the resort on the beach he lives on and his boat is a powerboat. And he fishes daily but with a collection of expensive rods and reels that would be the envy of most western fishermen. Its a hobby, he loves it, so why not?

Wow sound like you got yourself a dreamy man (appart from the fishing for me), Where where where did you meet, please do share !!!!

Don't forget he's also Chinese Thai, studied abroad and has never worked as a prostitute.

Um, I'd say it was funny but well, its not,not really. But there you go, you win some and you lose some, I don't think its funny when people say it about women either.

[aneliane]

My guess would be simply because Thailand isn't their destination of choice. I spent 2 years in Jamaica and it looked like a reverse Pattaya, white women in droves with their Black boy toys. Everyone likes something different I guess. I would guess the white men here like something smaller, darker, and more traditionally feminine then what is readily available to them at home. While the white women like something, bigger, darker and more laid back and masculine than what's available to them at home.

Assuming such is the case, Thailand is great for the men, but somewhat lacking for the women.

A touch over simplified sure, but I'd bet I got the heart of it right.

But again your world is ruled by (paid ) sex. The subject was RELATIONSHIPS

Sure Pattaya and probably Thailand is the biggest brothel in the world and caters very well for heterosexual western men who can't face demanding girlfriends back in their country.

But my topic was about "normal" relationships, long term ones, marriages, you know with feelings, you know these strange stories that last more than a couple of humps and a thrust?

Do I dare to say the L word?

I cannot believe you seriously think that the whole country is uncapable of love ...

[bonobo]

It's really not that hard of a question to answer.

There are very few young attractive white women floating around in Thailand. MOST of the ones you see here are overweight, older, and not very attractive (might be harsh, but it's true). There are so many young attractive slim Thai women around. Thai men would prefer to have the obvious.

Have you ever been to Koh San Road?

While I am not in the demographic of interest to them, the place is packed with young, attractive women from the West. (I may not be of interest to them, but I can still look.) And if you are ever there on the weekend, there are a good number of Thai young men going there to meet said Western women.

Walk down Wittayu Road sometime during lunchtime. There are many, many young women there.

OK, so the Koh San crew may not be in the market for a long-term relationship, but it is silly to say that most Western women here are "overweight, older, and not very attractive." (And since when has any of those precluded a happy relationship anyway?) And as sbk has pointed out many times, but seems to get ignored, she came here quite young and married young, so that is a confirmed case where a young, attractive woman married a Thai man.

Oh dear im 42 and not a size 4, so in your own words "older and overweight and not attractive", so im doomed?

I was quoting thaiman here, hence the quotation marks. And so those were not my words but rather his.

[LazarusEffect]

My guess would be simply because Thailand isn't their destination of choice. I spent 2 years in Jamaica and it looked like a reverse Pattaya, white women in droves with their Black boy toys. Everyone likes something different I guess. I would guess the white men here like something smaller, darker, and more traditionally feminine then what is readily available to them at home. While the white women like something, bigger, darker and more laid back and masculine than what's available to them at home.

Assuming such is the case, Thailand is great for the men, but somewhat lacking for the women.

A touch over simplified sure, but I'd bet I got the heart of it right.

But again your world is ruled by (paid ) sex. The subject was RELATIONSHIPS

Sure Pattaya and probably Thailand is the biggest brothel in the world and caters very well for heterosexual western men who can't face demanding girlfriends back in their country.

But my topic was about "normal" relationships, Long term ones, marriages, you know with feeling, the ones that last more than a couple of humps ?

You assume to much woman. I never said or even implied my life was ruled by prostitution. Where's your head at? Furthermore I stand by the last 2 sentences of my statement. Thailand is great for men looking for any kind of relationship with women. Just follow the same rules you would expect to follow back home and your good. I guess the same could be said for women as well. However I just think that Thailand is probably more appealing for men then it is for women in this regard.

[JemJem]

The girls are obviously smarter than the old guys that take up the the hookers errr hostesses.

I think GK hit it. Smarter, more selective.

and also as several pointed out, here in much fewer numbers.

Haha, yes, that...but the females that want to go with bar-boys seem to be flocking to West-Africa...and there are really not that many boy-bars here - apart from the gay kind. So it kinda rules out the women that are of the same caliber as the men...and doesn't mean that women in general are smarter.

I have been away from the Thai gay scene for quite some time but in the 1990's and early 2000's, it was possible to see women, not many of course, (both local and Western) at some Bangkok gay bars, looking for action. Keep in mind that many of the guys working at gay bars are actually bisexual.

[CarlBkk]

I thought the reasons for the vastly different gender relationships was obvious.

Western females' preferred partner is one of very masculine features, a leader, maybe even tough or rugged. Asian males don't often fit this description. Physically, Western females prefer Western male facial features and when you do see Western women with a completely different race....it's very seldom SE Asian, Indian, Chinese, Japanese...but rather African. Again, the most masculine.

From the other perspective, SE Asian men prefer their own race physically. They are already less masculine than their Western counterparts and therefore prefer to "lead" over a much more feminine woman...so their ideal partner would be submissive, physically small and have young/cute features. Although they may find some Western girls who fit this category and who might be attractive for them, personality-wise the SE Asian equivalent is likely to be less assertive and confident, and therefore less threatening to his role in a relationship.

A good number of Western men, on the other hand, strive to find the most attractive, feminine and easy-going partner they can. More and more seem to be turning to SE Asia where this type of partner is more likely to be found and available (given the ratio of women to men, and their position in a male-led society). SE Asian women are open to responsible men with some financial security, placing less importance (definitely less their Western females) to physical attributes and age.

I've seen VERY few "attractive" Western females with "attractive" smart Thai men, but I do see some. The last was in Emporium where the Thai Chinese male (assumed studied/worked abroad) had a very attractive early 30s feminine Western female. Neither talked over dinner and looked glum, but maybe it was a bad day.

You can see a few younger girls with dark Thai men which looks like a holiday fling or possibly the girl being new to the country. Occasionally I've seen an old couple (60+) of kind-looking Thai man with respectably-dressed Western woman...even holding hands, which is endearing and bucks the trend.

[JemJem]

In response to the OP, as a Western female I find v few Thai men attractive.

They are generally too short and not my idea of attractive anyway.

Those that I do consider attractive are younger than me, so there is not a chance in hell that I would consider them as a potential partner - its a case of 'enjoy, but that's as far as it could possibly go.Western women here aren't normally stupid, so realise that younger Thai men (with a profession) would not find an older farang woman attractive....

I have exactly the same problem ; ie Men of my own age are

1) not attractive because mainly "old fashion" and do not make any effort to look good - who ever decided that dirty old Adda plastic slippers are to be worn on everyday with everything and on every occasion should be shot in the name of crime against fashion-

2) of the generation that did not bother to learn English, so it's kind of hard to communicate. Having said that it's also my fault for not getting my thai sorted out...

So I agree totally with you except that I would not date younger men even if they wanted to. I need to be able to connect with my partner. I guess that makes me, choosy, and picky and if you ad slightly overweight and older (42), I get ranked as future old spinster in this country...

I think I got my answers !!! Thank you everyone ....

Why would you rule out a serious relationship with a nice guy just because of his age ? I don't think 'connecting with' someone who is a a few years younger than you would be much of an issue. I say don't miss out on a potentially great relationship just beause of a number, girls

Many people still think that in a serious relationship, the man being older than the woman by 3-5 years is the 'ideal' (!). I definitely think that many people miss out on potentially great relationships due to this thought. Okay, maybe for connecting with each other, plus or minus 1-5 years could be thought of as ideal...but, I also think that especially as one ages into middle age, this minor age difference should be less and less of an issue.

Edited January 22, 2011 by JemJem

[sbk]

JemJem, nice to see you back

I am older than my husband, my great aunt was 5 years older than her husband (and they got married during WWII) but I think, at least for me, really huge age differences would be out. I'd feel too much like the guy's mother

[mark45y]

I have noticed many Thai women calling their significant other Papa but very few males calling their significant other Mama. Yo' mama heard occasionally at some discos in Bangkok I don't think qualifies. Maybe red hot Mama is OK. As in, “the last of the red hot Mommas.”

[Chunky1]

Fun thread with plenty of insecurity to go around.

[bonobo]

I thought the reasons for the vastly different gender relationships was obvious.

Western females' preferred partner is one of very masculine features, a leader, maybe even tough or rugged. Asian males don't often fit this description. Physically, Western females prefer Western male facial features and when you do see Western women with a completely different race....it's very seldom SE Asian, Indian, Chinese, Japanese...but rather African. Again, the most masculine.

From the other perspective, SE Asian men prefer their own race physically. They are already less masculine than their Western counterparts and therefore prefer to "lead" over a much more feminine woman...so their ideal partner would be submissive, physically small and have young/cute features. Although they may find some Western girls who fit this category and who might be attractive for them, personality-wise the SE Asian equivalent is likely to be less assertive and confident, and therefore less threatening to his role in a relationship.

I think this is rather simplistic, even as a generality. While some men and women may feel as you describe in your post, certainly not all.

When listening to Western women over the years, I have heard comments about Asian men ranging from not overweight, less body hair, and "cleaner" when compared to Western men. Attractiveness for women does not always mean the rugged, craggy look.

And with Asian men, well, I have worked and lived with many, many Asian men, from the military setting to the academic setting to the business setting to the social setting. And pretty much all of them really do like the appearances of Western women, particularly blondes. One thing which is taken as an absolute is that Western women have bigger and more shapely breasts, perhaps the most obvious visual cue of gender. Of course we know that women come in various and sundry body-types, but I am just repeating what is thought. And then there is the skin-tone factor. Lighter skin is considered more attractive in most Asian societies, Thai included. And while an individual Italian woman may have darker skin than an individual Korean woman, most Asian men, when spotting a Western woman, immediately note that she is lighter skinned.

There may be cultural reasons why some Asian men won't marry a Western woman, as some posters have postulated or recounted above, but to say that Asian men are not attracted to Western women is off the mark, in my opinion.

[dmax]

i have a daughter to my thai wife when she is older i would rather she married a decent thai man.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

[ WAKE UP! Don't get angry just because Thailand is a mans' world not a womans'

Wow that is an interesting comment ...

So Thailand is A MAN's World ? The all country is designed to please men's impulses ? Is that what you are saying ? Please do elaborate ...

Pretty much, yes. Or at least when it comes to catering to male impulses; clearly the country is designed for other things as well, such as growing rice or building pick-up trucks. And it depends on the impulse; things that men find entertaining are not the same as the things women find entertaining. You could argue that Thailand caters to women's impulses just fine, in terms of all the shopping it offers, to name but one example.

You can also look at how much easier it is for a man to find himself in a relationship with a local woman. For whatever reasons it just doesn't happen as quickly for women. It's not impossible, perhaps not even 'very hard', but definitely not the complete no-brainer it is for men.

Sure Pattaya and probably Thailand is the biggest brothel in the world and caters very well for heterosexual western men who can't face demanding girlfriends back in their country.

It caters very well to homosexual western men too. And men from non-western places. And families; I guess you haven't spent much time there.

I don't know if Western girlfriends would be more demanding than Thai ones. As for visiting a brothel, it's not even the same thing as a relationship is it.. very different. Different enough that I can understand people who appreciate both. There's a time for high cuisine and a time for a burger.

i have a daughter to my thai wife when she is older i would rather she married a decent thai man.

I'd rather she married a decent man regardless of where he's from, though I also realize I will have very little to say in the matter.

Edited January 22, 2011 by WinnieTheKhwai