My Answer To Sin Sod.

[TAWP]

Another cheapskate trying to wangle out of thousands of years of tradition.

Pay up!

Willing to borrow out some?

[kropotkin]

I've got two step daughters. I'm setting the bar at 1mil each. It keeps the neighbor boys away. Paid 60000 for mom so I will net a bit over 1.9 mil.

Sounds like a reasonable tradition from where I'm setting.

Do not get a heart attack following the exchange rate fluctuations.....

[backfromouterspace]

I've got two step daughters. I'm setting the bar at 1mil each. It keeps the neighbor boys away. Paid 60000 for mom so I will net a bit over 1.9 mil.

Sounds like a reasonable tradition from where I'm setting.

When they are 18, post some pics and auction them off to TV members. Contact Thaivisa marketing for more info

[TheWalkingMan]

I've got two step daughters. I'm setting the bar at 1mil each. It keeps the neighbor boys away. Paid 60000 for mom so I will net a bit over 1.9 mil.

Sounds like a reasonable tradition from where I'm setting.

1 mil?

You know, I think it would be interesting to give the background of the step-daughters who are looking at 1 million baht.

TheWalkingMan

[H2oDunc]

I took the FIL out for a drink. Explained I loved his daughter and wanted to marry her. Explained I was not rich but would take care of her and help out the family as and when I could. He said no problem as long as the daughter was happy. He also said that If I stayed with her for 2 years he would give us some land to make a house. Last year he gave us 5 rai of land which has various fruit trees on and the family is happy as am I.

[jazzbo]

OP's Forum Topic: My Answer to Sin Sod: You want Me or Money?

Jack Benny radio routine (1949):

Robber: OK Bud -- this is a stick-up ... Your money or your life!

Benny: (says nothing)

Robber: Did you hear me? Your money or your life.

Benny: I'm thinking it over! ...

[mstribling]

I've got two step daughters. I'm setting the bar at 1mil each. It keeps the neighbor boys away. Paid 60000 for mom so I will net a bit over 1.9 mil.

Sounds like a reasonable tradition from where I'm setting.

1 mil?

You know, I think it would be interesting to give the background of the step-daughters who are looking at 1 million baht.

TheWalkingMan

The step-daughters aren't looking...

[mstribling]

I took the FIL out for a drink. Explained I loved his daughter and wanted to marry her. Explained I was not rich but would take care of her and help out the family as and when I could. He said no problem as long as the daughter was happy. He also said that If I stayed with her for 2 years he would give us some land to make a house. Last year he gave us 5 rai of land which has various fruit trees on and the family is happy as am I.

Thats great.

[mca]

YES sin sot IS a thai tradition.

BUT it is an outdated, backward tradition.

CHOOSE: educate uneducated people, or let uneducated people dis-educate you.

what more can be said about the subject?

I'm sure practically the entire nation of Thailand will be thrilled to hear that they're uneducated.

Please accept my appoligies.

Thailand is a VERY educated nation, with a wonderfull education system.

That is why so many uneducated farang live in thailand on a permanent Education Visa.

If you think " educated " simply means going to school etc. ( unless they've started offering an " Outdated Traditions That Need To be Changed" course at the local Rajabhat and nobody told me ) then you're obviously as thick as a hedge and I feel there's no more need for me to interact with you. Goodbye.

[Dakhar]

I didn't pay Jack Shet in Sin Sod....

But at the time of divorce she got 7 million baht...

Trust me, they will get it now, or latter...

[bermondburi]

Sin Sod is the families polite way of saying that they don't like you.

If you can demonstrate that the family will benefit finanacially or emotionally in other ways then you should not need to pay.

Any marriage that begins on a financial settlement will end on a financial settlement.

Refuse, and see what happens. Either outcome will be to your credit.

Yes, l agree with that. If a farang has handed over sin sod an then come on hard times, how many Thai families would come to the farang rescue, l don't mean well off families, l am talking about the ordinary Thai family. Count it on one hand.

My MIL pawned her gold for me before when I was skint. That was pretty cool. Didn't pay sinsod though so I don't know if there is a connection there.

[bermondburi]

I didn't pay Jack Shet in Sin Sod....

But at the time of divorce she got 7 million baht...

Trust me, they will get it now, or latter...

Thai divorce law states that all assets from before the marriage are to remain that individuals assets and they cannot be claimed by the other person after divorce. All assets obtained after the marriage are to be split equally. This is pretty fair IMO and seems a lot better than what happens in other countries. If you lost all this then you have only got yourself to blame. If she got seven million and you got nothing something went wrong there. If that seven was half of fourteen accrued after marriage then that's fair enough. That's the gamble you take when you get married.

[kropotkin]

YES sin sot IS a thai tradition.

BUT it is an outdated, backward tradition.

CHOOSE: educate uneducated people, or let uneducated people dis-educate you.

what more can be said about the subject?

I'm sure practically the entire nation of Thailand will be thrilled to hear that they're uneducated.

Please accept my appoligies.

Thailand is a VERY educated nation, with a wonderfull education system.

That is why so many uneducated farang live in thailand on a permanent Education Visa.

If you think " educated " simply means going to school etc. ( unless they've started offering an " Outdated Traditions That Need To be Changed" course at the local Rajabhat and nobody told me ) then you're obviously as thick as a hedge and I feel there's no more need for me to interact with you. Goodbye.

And where did i say that going to school equals education?

Perhaps you did not understand my remark about the education visa - farangs?

Sarcasm old chap, sarcasm.

[kropotkin]

It really depends on the situation of the people that you are marrying as much as your situation. Every Thai person has their own take on Sinsot. and if you haven't read "A Case Against Sinsot" on Stickman's web site (Google it) then you should, as it is eye opening. Even if you choose to pay or not to pay you should at least know the complete cultural significance of what you are doing.

You will see that by paying or not paying you will probably been in the same light depending on the family. Thai people rarely marry out of their on social level and that would mean that the sinsot for a farmer in isan will be a lot less than the sinsot paid by an office worker in Bangkok. You need to have an understanding of the culture and the family before negotiating something like this. Know where your girlfriend stands and how that relates to her parents. If you make a stand, can't articulate it eloquently enough, and she doesn't agree with you, you have probably just lost the relationship.

I recently read that Thailand's marriage rate (registered marriages) is in decline as the divorce rate is increasing.

Every thai person has their own take on Sinsot? If that is true, then sinsot is NOT a tradition.

And if sinsod is paying back the parent's investment, then it is NOT a tradition too, since untill recently, parents used their daughters as cheap labour force, and did not send them to school.

[Shotime]

Sin what?

[kropotkin]

Sin what?

best reply so far

[kropotkin]

Sin what?

best reply so far

Sin awatra?

[chiang mai]

It really depends on the situation of the people that you are marrying as much as your situation. Every Thai person has their own take on Sinsot. and if you haven't read "A Case Against Sinsot" on Stickman's web site (Google it) then you should, as it is eye opening. Even if you choose to pay or not to pay you should at least know the complete cultural significance of what you are doing.

You will see that by paying or not paying you will probably been in the same light depending on the family. Thai people rarely marry out of their on social level and that would mean that the sinsot for a farmer in isan will be a lot less than the sinsot paid by an office worker in Bangkok. You need to have an understanding of the culture and the family before negotiating something like this. Know where your girlfriend stands and how that relates to her parents. If you make a stand, can't articulate it eloquently enough, and she doesn't agree with you, you have probably just lost the relationship.

I recently read that Thailand's marriage rate (registered marriages) is in decline as the divorce rate is increasing.

Every thai person has their own take on Sinsot? If that is true, then sinsot is NOT a tradition.

And if sinsod is paying back the parent's investment, then it is NOT a tradition too, since untill recently, parents used their daughters as cheap labour force, and did not send them to school.

Sinsod (or dowry) is part of a tradition that spans many countries in Asia and during the previous century, even countries such as Ireland!

http://multitext.ucc.ie/d/Dowry_and_Marriage

Edited February 5, 2011 by chiang mai

[Kananga]

A marriage is a mix of both cultures. In western culture it is common for the father of the bride to pay for the wedding. Agree to paying the sin sod as respect to the Thai culture if the father of the bride will pay for the wedding as respect to your culture. Then make sure the wedding costs more than the 'donation'. Everyone's a winner.