Xmas Fruitcake Recipe

Xmas Fruitcake Recipe

1 C water

1 C sugar

4 large eggs

2 C dried fruit

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. Salt

1 C brown sugar lemon juice nuts

1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl.

Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.

Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat if necessary.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup.

Turn off the mixer. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift the cups of salt. Or something. Who cares.

Check the whiskey again.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one tablespoon of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl out of the window.

Check the whiskey again.

Go to bed. Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway?