Who Wears The Apron

[justsignedin]

I think my missus is lazy around the house, and i partly blame myself for not telling her from the outset how it should be kept. She does the usual sweeping and mopping and washes the dishes. The tops of cupboards, windows etc, i end up doing them myself. I know you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but it sometimes seems like she has no pride in her home.

Do you have an arrangement with your partner ????.

[Wolfie]

I live alone and i employ a Maid, she does 90% of the housework. I will do the odd bit here and there either when she misses something or i cant stand to look at the mess until her next shift...

Works well for me

[mrbojangles]

Well i put 50/50 as it is a good starting point but i'll find out next month, when the Mrs comes over to the UK. If she does any less than 50% she'll be on a plane back Seriously though, i think it depends on the situation. If i'm working all day and she isn't, then she should be doing near 100%. If she works as well then it should be shared. However, the one thing i won't do, is cook and it's better for both of our health, if i don't

[Boo]

60/40 in my favour, hubby does most of the house maintenance, emptying bins, washes the dishes, cleans the driveway up etc & I do the bathroom, dusting & hoovering (when I can be bothered), cleaning of cupboards & wiping down doors etc, the finer points of cleaning are left to me as my husband has selective blindness & will swear blind that a surface is clean when it clearly isn't When we move I will employ someone to come in once a week to do the windows, wash the floors & clean the bathroom & kitchen top to bottom. Lifes to short to stress over the cleaning & esp if it starts to interfere in your relationship then employ a cleaner. You also don't say if your wife works or looks after your children or what your situation is, if you are both at home all day then why not share & make a rota, if she is at home with nothing to do then she should be pulling her weight more & if you both work, then again, share it out. I work out of home 5 days a week my husband doesn't, so he takes a slightly larger share in day to day tidy ups (as he makes the most mess) but we have defined jobs & both make an effort to stick to them

[Shivek]

No one.

[The_Moog]

I do it all.

Bogs, floors, ironing, water plants etc etc etc.

[tutsiwarrior]

either the wife or the step daughter when we're Thailand. Whenever I make a particularly big mess in the kitchen I'll sweeten it for the step daughter with a few baht...the wife and step daughter usually cook and eat next door at Mama's ("gawdammit, if you stink up the house again with that gang soom I'm gonna get really annoyed...").

tutsi the ogre...

[Khutan]

Have a Maid etc, I like giving work to people, The Idea of coming to a new country and employing 4 - 5 people (Adding new jobs) appeals to me.

And yes they are all full time employee's

[Thomas_Merton]

My wife lived in Japan for 12 years before we married (she's Thai), therefore our house has to be not only clean, but spotlessly clean.

Despite her constant nagging and my willingness to do my share (which I do do - honest), my contribution is never ever good enough.

Even emptying the bins is fraught with criticism, "You call that a knot on that plastic bag. This is how a knot should be"

Therefore I play the role of the incompetent husband, whist she excels as the nagging wife.

There are advantages though.

Yesterday I did all our washing (3 of us) so everything was clean for the holiday we are taking from next weekend.

Her gratitude - how can I say this without causing offence - her gratitude was delightful.

[justsignedin]

60/40 in my favour, hubby does most of the house maintenance, emptying bins, washes the dishes, cleans the driveway up etc & I do the bathroom, dusting & hoovering (when I can be bothered), cleaning of cupboards & wiping down doors etc, the finer points of cleaning are left to me as my husband has selective blindness & will swear blind that a surface is clean when it clearly isn't When we move I will employ someone to come in once a week to do the windows, wash the floors & clean the bathroom & kitchen top to bottom. Lifes to short to stress over the cleaning & esp if it starts to interfere in your relationship then employ a cleaner. You also don't say if your wife works or looks after your children or what your situation is, if you are both at home all day then why not share & make a rota, if she is at home with nothing to do then she should be pulling her weight more & if you both work, then again, share it out. I work out of home 5 days a week my husband doesn't, so he takes a slightly larger share in day to day tidy ups (as he makes the most mess) but we have defined jobs & both make an effort to stick to them

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I spend long periods working offshore and then long periods at home. As far as i'm concerned i bring the money in, she takes care of the house. Just never got round to telling her that.

[Boo]

I spend long periods working offshore and then long periods at home. As far as i'm concerned i bring the money in, she takes care of the house. Just never got round to telling her that.

I agree & it's always harder to get something changed after it's been that way for a while.

[mrbojangles]

my husband has selective blindness & will swear blind that a surface is clean when it clearly isn't

I have that very same condition Boo It's in our Genes you know

[Crossy]

I just can't do any housework, not permitted near the kitchen, i've tried but there is a 'Line of Death' (remember Robocop, "Nukem, the fun game for all the family").

The other half does allow me to make sausages and pork pies and to operate the barbecue but that's it.

Should I complain, I don't think so

[Boo]

I figured it must have been chromosonal mrboj, dad, step dad, brother in law & every male friend I have has a wife/gf that complains of the same

[englishoak]

Got to say the wife does all the housework.Tried to help but she won't let me do it, say's it's a wife's job.

Now girls don't crucify me, I am quite capable and willing to do my bit, after all I used to do it all with my old girlfriend ( falang)

She gets realy upset if I don't let her "look after me correct" And who am i to argue.

We share the gardening and any heavy work I do, the only compromise I have got out of her is the cooking, I love to cook so if it's thai food she cooks and everything else I cook, if I don't let her cook for me often enough she does tend to get grumpy with me though, and if I wash up I get it in the neck

Oh and how about this she is also Bangkok born n bred, as is her family.

All in all I reckon I've got a real diamond and yes I do appreciate her

[Thetyim]

Housework, gardening , cleaning, you must be joking.

I'm far to busy making stupid posts on this forum to have any time for that sort of thing.

[justsignedin]

Got to say the wife does all the housework.Tried to help but she won't let me do it, say's it's a wife's job. 

Now girls don't crucify me, I am quite capable and willing to do my bit, after all I used to do it all with my old girlfriend ( falang)

She gets realy upset if I don't let her "look after me correct"  And who am i to argue.

We share the gardening and any heavy work I do, the only compromise I have got out of her is the cooking, I love to cook so if it's thai food she cooks and everything else I cook, if I don't let her cook for me often enough she does tend to get grumpy with me though, and if I wash up I get it in the neck 

Oh and how about this she is also Bangkok born n bred, as is her family.

All in all I reckon I've got a real diamond and yes I do appreciate her   

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

sounds like you are one lucky man.

Maybe i can start re-training my missus, gently mind you. just subtle hints such as a book or two "domestic hygeine" "cooking for two" or "pull your finger out or i'm off"

[Boo]

I do that at work Thetyim, leaves more time in the evenings for watching tele

[Gazza]

It is important for men to remember that as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.

When I got laid off from my consulting job and took 'early retirement' in January, it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for health benefits that we need. She was a trained medical transcriptionist when we met twenty-eight years ago and was fortunate to land a job at a local transcription house. It was shortly after she started working at this job that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell at her when this happens. Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is not as young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when she finally does get supper on the table.

She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.

Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger, Nancy used to be able to go up and down the stairs all day and not get tired. Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening I am willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.

This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.

Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. Not often, mind you, but just enough for me to notice. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean. When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods than she used to have to take.

A couple of weeks ago she said she had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I overlook comments like these because I realise its just age talking. In fact, I try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for awhile.

I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep. I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older. My purpose in writing this is simply to suggest that you make the effort. I realise that achieving the exemplary level of showing consideration I have attained is out of reach for the average man.

Author Unknown.

[Nam Kao]

I cannot do housework without a work permit, I could be jailed and deported

[Nam Kao]

>>It is important for men to remember that as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger

Mia noi to the rescue!

[Sydney_Tom]

I voted for the maid, but I have a cook;

So in reality (the pace I live) its the cook

Oh yes, If you go to e-sarn, you can hire a cook very cheaply. They majority are happy to have more $$$ and an easier job. After all they only cook 2 or 3 meals a day for twice the money of cooking 200 to 300 meals a day.

It makes sence to me.

Edited September 7, 2005 by Sydney_Tom

[Boo]

we are looking into that for the MIL in KK as she's getting on a bit & is quite lazy at housework & I don't think it's fair for the kids to do all of it (there are 2 old ladies & 2 young kids in the house) so want a live in housekeeper, light cooking & cleaning. So far the average expected wage is about 2-3k baht a month, which is ridiculously cheap.

[Sydney_Tom]

...... So far the average expected wage is about 2-3k baht a month, which is ridiculously cheap.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You are so correct.

[Narachon]

I live alone, so I do all the housework and cleaning. I had to do that even when I had roomates.....

I wish I was able to have a maid.

But I guess when I get married, hopefully, I 'll have one then...

[Neeranam]

My wife does all the housework. She even cleans my shoes and washes my car. She enjoys doing the garden too. I work 6 days a week, she works seven as a mother and housewife.

We are both happy with the arrangement.

I take care of my daughter most of the time when I am home, and tke her out swimming etc so my wife can have a rest or clean the house in peace. She loves looking after me, I tell her she doesn't haave to give me my breakfast in bed everyday but she wants to.

I am very lucky, and I don't forget it.

If she could change anything it would be for me to do more DIY stuff.

[ThaiPauly]

Kitchen is "off limits" for me, except I am allowed to go to the fridge for the beer.

I am not encouraged to do housework or ironing, the maid does most of it, but I can't resist sometimes going over bits she's missed , I am sure she thinks that cobwebs are part of the wall decorations like pictures are.

I bought some furniture polish and got strange looks, seems like it is suplus to requirements in a maid's cleaning Arsenal, so if I want anything polished I have to present her with the Pledge!

Still no complaints my end

Cheers

TP

[ThaiPauly]

It is important for men to remember that as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.

When I got laid off from my consulting job and took 'early retirement' in January, it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for health benefits that we need. She was a trained medical transcriptionist when we met twenty-eight years ago and was fortunate to land a job at a local transcription house. It was shortly after she started working at this job that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell at her when this happens. Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is not as young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when she finally does get supper on the table.

She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.

Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger, Nancy used to be able to go up and down the stairs all day and not get tired. Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening I am willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.

This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.

Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. Not often, mind you, but just enough for me to notice. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean. When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods than she used to have to take.

A couple of weeks ago she said she had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I overlook comments like these because I realise its just age talking. In fact, I try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for awhile.

I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep. I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older. My purpose in writing this is simply to suggest that you make the effort. I realise that achieving the exemplary level of showing consideration I have attained is out of reach for the average man.

Author Unknown.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[ThaiPauly]

...... So far the average expected wage is about 2-3k baht a month, which is ridiculously cheap.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You are so correct.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes its true , we pay ours 2,800 a month and she works 8-6 Mon-Fri. we told her to work 8.30-5, but she is deaf!

I worked it back into UK money, thats a grand a year, so it's not worth not having one in my opinion

[Rigger]

We have three women living in the home that dont work OK one goes to school

why should I have to do anything