10 Things To Ponder

[Chris Lawrence]

Number 10

Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which

one can die.

Number 8

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him

without an erection, make him a sandwich .

Number 7

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a

person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for

weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 6

Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for

anything, but you still can't help but smile when you

shove them down the stairs.

Number 5

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the

hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no

attention to criticism.

Number 3

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800, and a

substantial tax cut saves you $30?

Number 2

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now

the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought

Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today,

might burn your ass tomorrow.

- - - and as someone recently said to me :

"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."