My Thai wife....39 yrs [good health and regular menstrations], has been having increasingly intense [to me] menstration like symptoms. Verry irritable, contrary and generally bitchy [am I alowed to use that phrase?] for more than 2 weeks now and I am starting to suspect possibly early menopause.

She normally has 'that' time where I bite my tongue and give her a wide berth and don't take what she says seriously, as it usually passes in a couple of days, but lately [that phase] has been lasting a lot longer and is more intense.....lashing out at most people around her.....me 1st, kids, and hired help. Totally irrational and over reacting. I have given her a wide berth and forgiven a lot, but even a paitient man has his limits.

Any of you women care to explain early menopause to a stupid, but wants to understand man??

39 is extremely young to be Peri-menopausal. I haven't had it yet but I watched my mother go through instant and total menopause after she was taken off hormones (prescribed after a previous total hysterectomy that took her ovaries as well) when she was diagnosed with estrogen sensitive breast cancer.

My lovely, kind, understanding mother would be irrational and angry sometimes. At others, she would turn a beet red and start sweating buckets. It was a horrible, stressful and fearful time and never once (even tho I was a hormonal teenager myself) did I become angry or short tempered with my mother. I was just so grateful to have her alive that I lived with the mood swings.

It would be a very very good idea for your wife to see a doctor for this, at her age its not "that time" and should be rather more cause for concern than annoyance on your part.

I am 48 and (I think) I am going through it.

I haven't had a period for about 2 years, mood swings, night sweats, lack of libido etc.

I hate it. I can go from a nice smiley, dancy person to a complete harridan within 10 minutes. I haven't been to the doctor to get drugs for it but I do drink lots of vodka and that seems to help.

Seriously, it is like becoming a woman at 13 years old but 10 times worse. Hormones wreck havoc with your system. Get her on the cranberry juice.

Sorry, I am 47.

Edited February 19, 201115 yr by Patsycat

Fading memory too ...

Edited February 19, 201115 yr by WarpSpeed

Is your wife taking a new contraceptive pill per chance? Sometimes that can mess up hormones. Some birth control pills just dont react well with different women.

No, she is not on or has never been on hormone or birth control pills in the 10+ yrs we have been married. As I stated, she used to be quite regular with her periods......28 days, you could set your clock by them. Altho this last came a few days early. Agree that she should see a dr anyway, as she is way over due for a regular 'woman' checkup.....but she is quite resistant to seeing drs and with her present 'contrariness' it is going to be more of a chalenge [for me] to get her to go in.

Typically Thai, she holds a lot of her emotions in and reveals little.....making it even more complicated.

Thanks for the input......

i can't explain anything Jaydeeguy. but my thoughts, prayers and sympathy are with you. once you've made it through the ordeal (it may take a few years) and you have not resorted to murder, [wo]manslaughter, torture, suicide, terrorist actions et al you are eligible to be nominated for the peace Nobel Prize.

p.s. and if you are a Muslim the 72 virgins in paradise, to which martyrs are entitled, will be allocated to you without the slightest hesitation. but watch out! rumour has it that 'they' (whoever 'they' are) are trying smuggle a dozen (or two) of the ugliest virgins (hunchbacks, bearded, no boobs, ladyboys with no... ahmm, vegetarians, goats, etc.) into the allocated batch. reason: virgins are nowadays a rare commodity.

Does she have hot flashes? those are extremely common even in perimenopausal women and if she is then she really needs to see a doctor. 39 is young for menopause.

Additionally, because my mother had estrogen sensitive breast cancer she could not take hormone replacement therapy and if there is a history of breast cancer in your wife's family I would be hesitant to do so. But, my mother researched natural methods of dealing with her extreme menopause (imagine going from very high hormone levels to zero overnight, it was hell) like soy for instance.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/perimenopause/DS00554/DSECTION=symptoms

http://www.womentowomen.com/menopause/perimenopause.aspx

and just remember one thing, while it may be bad for you, its far worse for her. Try to put yourself in her shoes and imagine how she must be feeling.

Wow, Dr Naam at a loss for words!! That confirms that us guys are mostly clueless when it comes to understanding women.

And sbk, "and just remember one thing, while it may be bad for you, its far worse for her. Try to put yourself in her shoes and imagine how she must be feeling.".....

that has always been my policy with women and people in general. FYI, I am currently caregiving my 92yr old Pop with alzheimer's dementia and use that technique all the time.

but one question comes to my stupid mind re: women and PMS is that you suggest that us men need to follow your suggestion, but don't women put themselves in our shoes sometimes??

I will try to urge her to go into see a gyn dr, but have tried before and she always balks......then directs anger at me.

Just call me the whipping boy.....

Thanks for the links and your input.

What you describe sounds more like"Premenstraul dysphoric disorder" (PMDD, formerly called PMS) which may be getting worse due to her age. It is common for PMDD to get worse in the decade before menopause, and it can last as much as 2 weeks or so - basically from around the time of ovulation until menstruation.

If that's what it is, her mood will dramatically improve within a day of getting her period. To the woman, it is like a curtain suddenly lifts. Quite dramatic.

If on the other hand her moodiness persists throughoput the menstrual cycle then I'd be inclinced to suspect some other cause i.e. something is bothering her which she is nto telling you.

IF she has PMDD, there are treatments which will give much relief:

- natural progesterone, used from the middle of thecycle until menstruation occurs. Creams or gels are preferred but all that is available in Thailand these days is a micronized oral form, Utrogestan. (Gel for is availabel in Cambodia, brand name Progestogel).

- sertraline (an SSRI) in low dose (25-50 mg a day)

Some women also report soem relief from evening primrose oil, altho it never worked for me

Hi jd, yes I do actually, but I have taught myself to recognize my PMS symptoms and to not allow them to control my life. But, sometimes, i get it, dont' even realize i am doing it until it hits me how irrational i am being and thats why. Not everyone can step outside themselves and look at themselves.

Sheryl, Thanks for your input....I didn't realize that they had changed the name (PMDD, formerly called PMS)

and frightening that every menstration for the next 10yrs can last up to 2 weeks ......looks like I should plan breaks, but you know my situation at home.

Will check into those meds/supplements.

I did buy from the US some bottles of evening primrose oil, but she will only take reluctantly when reminded.

" i.e. something is bothering her which she is nto telling you.".....quite possibly, as she does hold things inside and will only reveal when she wants to.

"If that's what it is, her mood will dramatically improve within a day of getting her period. To the woman, it is like a curtain suddenly lifts. Quite dramatic.".........This episode came on with her period.....usually the 2nd or 3rd day, but is lasting much longer. Maybe she is being haunted by her 'ghosts' within?? And I have seen that curtain lift and it's a wonderful feeling [for both of us]

sbk....'Not everyone can step outside themselves and look at themselves.'.......a wonderful talent....if more people could do that, then the world would be a better place. I try that as much as I can.

Thanks ladies....

If it began when she got her period, it is not PMDD.

There is a blood test that can be done to see if she is startring an early menopause. FSH level. Needs to be done right at the start of her cycle, i.e. days 1-2.

if it confirms she is starting menopause then HRT may help. If not, then some other explanation altogether.

I was the wife and bitch from hell when I was younger, with pms. I could control it to a certain extent - but was still nasty/nice ad nauseum.

Now that I am menopausal (i think) I am more into what is happening to MY body than how it affects other people. I can actually talk to my friends and explain to them - Sorry can't come out tonight having one of my "things" and they understand.

Even in cold weather - I get the worst night flashes and sweats. I am a bit sad about it because it means my childbearing years have left me. And I don't have that anymore.

Turning into the Mad Cat Lady!!! That I always said I wouldn't... Shise, someone has to love me...!!!

Edited February 23, 201115 yr by Patsycat

OP, could she be possibly be pregnant? A woman can still have periods/spotting when she is pregnant...and you say she's not on hormonal birth control. So, condoms? Or something else? These are less effective than hormonal birth control (though still better than nothing, natch).

Whatever it is, I agree with everyone else that you'd best get her to the doctor for a checkup ASAP!!