Thai Men And Former Ladies

[telmarsa]

I'm refering in a real and true story, through which we have the opportunity to understand the real philosophy of aThai man and Thail lady, which existed before lovers / couple.

The Thai men, as lovers who are selective, always choose a lady for g/f acording to a basic criterion,the erotic one and the sexual satisfaction with this lady.But,over time, sooner or later, through this purely love affair, typically occurs and a child, which according to the Buddhist culture must be borned. In the meantime, if the Thai man, feels, believes and is convinced that his mistress is capable mother and equally good for take care him and his home,he proceed in the creation of new family, took all the family responsibilities allocated to him and everything is good. But in the opposite case which is very usual case ,where his partner, is only good lover for him, but nothing more,what he wiil do? Then the Thai man, creates a new relationship with another Thai lady (usually more senior and less good looking than the previous one), which selects at htis time, not having basic kritirio the desire for this love affair, but its ability, as effective, efficient and real good partner, to create together in a good family.But at the same time, he still continues to want and to claim and former lover which satisfy the erotic and covers the erotic part for him.In the meantime, the child growning up by the thai lady , usually having many economic problems and more... So this is exactly the point, for the Thai man, using it as a pressure tool and blackmail claim form, to his former lover, in order to force her to have erotic meeting with him. So the Thai man do three basic things.

The first thing is to force her to live in the same city with him, but at a safe distance from his family,so to be able for him to control her, but also to encounters erotic meeting with her.The second thing to do, is to make her to be financially dependent from him. Thai lady can not refuse sexual intercourse, partly because it is financially dependent, and also because may be she likes also.And the third thing to do, is to exclude any possibility for the lady, of having any other erotic relationship. Furthermore, to ensure these three things, he use his own children, as a lever of pressure for his former g/f. I'm sepatatelly refering , in what way uses the the Thai man, in order to ensure these three parameters.Firstly he forced the former g/f, to live in the same town with him, telling her he wants him to have his child nearby, in order to see it whenever he can do, or to take it on weekends (things rarely do, citing increased epengelmatikes and family obligations). At the same time, sends the children to a usually pretty good and expensive private school, (3000-5000 THB / month), (so to seem to be a good father), and he pay the cost of the scool.Furthermore he gives to the lady some pocket money to pay for the child (milk, toys, ..), and ensures the second condition, the economic dependence of the former g/f . But he must also to ensure the third and most difficult of the conditions: to avoid the creation opoasdipote love affair of former g/f with another person in order to have reserved only by him and so he can control absolutelly the former lady. Listed below, in what way, the Thai men achieves this, always using as a means of pressure their children.

On the other side, the former thai lady, in order to go out of this bad situation, she normaly don't likes ,(never be sure), she trying to find a way out and a way to break free of him. One way to achieve this, is to find a b/f, who can hold the financial cost of this maintenance and child, including the expensess for the school, his father has chosen in order to do this more difficult for her.As easily comprehensible, only a farang could take such a cost.So she focus on, to be able to find a farang b/f, who will agree to live together with she and the children (difficult) and he will keep the whole expencess.

. Meanwhile, she can be economical independent (and not only ...) by former Thai man because he has set as the condition that, to keep the child and to grow with it, this must go to specific good private school, which will be paid by him.If the lady wants to financial released (...), and not only that, it should be proven that she can proffit with an honest (and only ..), job, to ensure everything the same(school, etc..) for his children, which is incredibly difficult for an average worker Thailand, 7000-8000 baht per month. But she suppose that may be found one farang b/f who would agree to live together with her child all together and plans to take the whole financial cost.But also about this case, the clever Thai man, has ensured, in order to maintain the metrese .The way is easy:As is wellknown, Thais tend to sleep with their children in the same couch and more so when a mother living with her child, then surely this would sleep together.So does the child to sleep with their momma achievements.When the farang will come to the life of the Thai lady, the first thing that he will do, is to change this situation, both, for practical reasons and because this is not consistent with his Western culture.The Thai man knows this process already and this is the first good opportunity for him, to pose problems to the new couple (farang / Thai). So what he will do? A couple of weeks later, after the farang and his former lady, mistress of living together and sleeping in western style .. now, he takes for a weekend his children, to stay together for weekend.He already knows, that the child, will complain, for farang who came to life of the mother and did not convey any longer sleeps together with her.Then he is telling to the child that is right and that what makes his mother is not correct, thus exacerbating the problem of children in order to control his third targetTo separating Thai lady from the farang.After and when return the child back to his mother, he tells her that "the child has a serious problem because it now does not sleep with you only, but sleeps alone and be unhappy. "So, to impose upon the sleeping together on the child (mother, child, farang), says that's otherwise" would take that child from her, (this is very common and very easy in Thailand), to grow with him ", which Thai momma in any case will let be done.What will be done after? Certainly the farang will not accept to sleep Thai style and Thai lady, certainly would not agree to" lose "her child.The problem for the new couple has already begun and already the Thai the corner, rubbing his hands with joy ..

Then comes the next idea, is farang and thai lady to move in a different place, away from the Thai man.. Yes, but the cunning Thai man, has already provided what he must do also in this case , in order not to lose the metresa. The classic argument and medium pressure for Thai lady ,comes again througth the kid. When the Thai man announced that it moved with the farang and the child, the latter says, that if she wants to move, she can do, but does not allow to take away the child, claiming he does not want to change the child of a good school that goes already. He will keep the child.So Thai lady does not want to anything to get to the Thai father her child, now has a deadlock and again trapped in Thai man... The farang quits, the Thai lady remains a metresa trapped and captive, a victim of Thai man and farang living well and the best Thai

[TheLaughingMan]

Jesus what did you use google translate? My brain is now bleeding from the effort of trying to understand ANYTHING you typed in that wall of text. Next time don't waste our time. Goddamn.

[Moonrakers]

Cliff notes please

[F1fanatic]

Telmarsa - what is your nationality?

[Robby nz]

Didnt read it either after the first few words.

But was wondering what they did to make them 'former ladies' and what they then become?

[telmarsa]

I'm sory for my bad english,but i'm from italy..

[mrtoad]

I still have absolutely no idea what point he is trying to make.

Amy chance this is his own personal experience, or just an observation?

[Beechboy]

Twenty out of twenty for effort Telmarsa and indeed an interesting topic which probably impacts upon the lives of many ex-pats who are involved with once married Thai ladies.

However, and I found it impossible to read in it's entirety, there are too many generalisations and moreso most observations are restricted to a limited strata of Thai society.

[telmarsa]

it's baced om my own personal experiance and i'm wondering,if this is often happens with Thai former ladies and Thai men.Former ladies means,that the former Thai b/f has already finish with her and he has already new family with new ladie ...

[F1fanatic]

Sorry to keep asking questions, but how long have you lived here full-time? How do you have so much info on Thai men?

[mrtoad]

Sorry to keep asking questions, but how long have you lived here full-time? How do you have so much info on Thai men?

Maybe he stalks them

[stepenwolf1958]

Jesus what did you use google translate? My brain is now bleeding from the effort of trying to understand ANYTHING you typed in that wall of text. Next time don't waste our time. Goddamn.

Mate, the fact is he isn't native speaker but it should not be an obstacle for you to understand what's his point.

Moreover, if you are longer in Thailand, you can be sure about what he is on. If you live a long time in Thailand, I think you will be clear that he was trapped so that he was furnished. So obvious set up. Neither the first nor the last.

As far as I can estimate, this is his life story and experience.

Therefore, I think he deserves a little support and encouragement.

Oh, by the way. About your"bleeding brain". Don't worry mate, now it is sure you have it at all(read my lips-you wasn't trapped by Thai"lady")

[Madivad]

OMG, telmarsa, but that was the hardest things I've ever read. I did suffer thru it and I kinda get your point, but you've generalized a specific incident in your case. If it's from your own observation that you've experienced this you can't (as many often do - self included) "tar them all with the same brush". For what it's worth your situation may bear similarities to other stories but can't be considered the norm even if some consider it prevalent within the society. For I am sure that many have broken this cycle and not necessarily with a foreigner. And I'm sure that many more will not get into this cycle or anywhere near it.

I wish you the best of luck in your research.

[telmarsa]

i was living full time with this lady in her home for 3 months and speaking with her,i know many thinks about her former thai man.

[stepenwolf1958]

Sorry to keep asking questions, but how long have you lived here full-time? How do you have so much info on Thai men?

Maybe he stalks them

Wrong. For any intelligent western man, a year or so, a good opbserver who is using logic in his observations and who is not performing his observations in a night bars(only) should to be enough to see what kind of men they are(most of them, huge majority).

[stepenwolf1958]

i was living full time with this lady in her home for 3 months and speaking with her,i know many thinks about her former thai man.

I felt in your post that it is your life story. As you stated here that you WAS living, i consider it as past and in that case i am glade you are out of it.(are you?)

She told you a lot of crap. I just hope you get rid of her. For your sake.

[telmarsa]

why my friend stepenwolf1958,u think that i was trappet from this lady..?i live already and work in Thailand for 2 years and i know many think about Thai people..Do u think that this,was happened to me canbe happens everyday..?is it so often..?thanks for understunding ubout my bad english..

[MAJIC]

I can see you have put a lot of effort into this Post, but i'm sorry to say, you lost me in the first paragragh!

[stepenwolf1958]

Sorry to keep asking questions, but how long have you lived here full-time? How do you have so much info on Thai men?

It is not necessary to live in Thailand in order to know the things about the mentality of the nation, the typical man of Thailand.

Westerner, who plans to settle and work or just settle in Thailand will try to inform himself about all where he is going to.

He will visiting national libraries. He will explore the Internet and all relevant data and facts and experiences of many others who are already living in Thailand or lived but abandoned it. Foresight.

Of course, all his studies and researching can be confirmed as truth by his living but also he might have a bad luck to meet the wrong woman so all would go straight to the hell.

That differ from case to case, man to man.

[telmarsa]

so ,my friend ..can u say to me more about the mentality of the nation of one typical tha man..?

[stepenwolf1958]

why my friend stepenwolf1958,u think that i was trappet from this lady..?i live already and work in Thailand for 2 years and i know many think about Thai people..Do u think that this,was happened to me canbe happens everyday..?is it so often..?thanks for understunding ubout my bad english..

Don't mention it. No need to say any thanks. I think people here should to an effort to each other.

As far as I can see, your story can be divided into two directions. One route is to speak generally about the average man of Thailand. The second part of your story is yours, possibly, personal situation and experience.

Somehow, between the lines, i think this your story is actually about Thai woman, in fact. I am just guessing but i think this is story what was served to you as an explanation for some of your questions about relation between your g/f and her ex b/f. I would like i wrong.

However, you should be honest so to say it. So some of us might try to help you with some advice.

[jdinasia]

Sorry to keep asking questions, but how long have you lived here full-time? How do you have so much info on Thai men?

Maybe he stalks them

Wrong. For any intelligent western man, a year or so, a good opbserver who is using logic in his observations and who is not performing his observations in a night bars(only) should to be enough to see what kind of men they are(most of them, huge majority).

Do you honestly feel that you are capable (after only a year, you say) of coming up with a (massively negative) stereotype of a "huge majority" of Thai men?

That is simply ludicrous.

After only 8 years living in the country I can't manage a stereotype of ANY large group of Thais, like in all places they are people and like all people they are all different.

I can (and often do) buy into the stereotypes of some smaller groups of Thais (and have those stereotype smashed regularly. This includes the BiB, the Army, the folks that make their livings from tourists etc ....

[F1fanatic]

Sorry to keep asking questions, but how long have you lived here full-time? How do you have so much info on Thai men?

It is not necessary to live in Thailand in order to know the things about the mentality of the nation, the typical man of Thailand.

Westerner, who plans to settle and work or just settle in Thailand will try to inform himself about all where he is going to.

He will visiting national libraries. He will explore the Internet and all relevant data and facts and experiences of many others who are already living in Thailand or lived but abandoned it. Foresight.

Of course, all his studies and researching can be confirmed as truth by his living but also he might have a bad luck to meet the wrong woman so all would go straight to the hell.

That differ from case to case, man to man.

Not necessarily.

OK, I was incredibly stupid, but having came here on holiday at least once a year for several years I made the mistake of thinking I knew what Thailand was about !

One has to live here for a couple of years to have any idea of what its really about.

But I agree, I should have looked it up on the internet.

[telmarsa]

i didn't speak about thai men in general.i have many exellent thai friends.i was reffered only to my cace and to my bad experiance.My thai friends also,that many thai men want everything for their side.new lady and former too..

[sbk]

Sorry to keep asking questions, but how long have you lived here full-time? How do you have so much info on Thai men?

Maybe he stalks them

Wrong. For any intelligent western man, a year or so, a good opbserver who is using logic in his observations and who is not performing his observations in a night bars(only) should to be enough to see what kind of men they are(most of them, huge majority).

Do you honestly feel that you are capable (after only a year, you say) of coming up with a (massively negative) stereotype of a "huge majority" of Thai men?

That is simply ludicrous.

After only 8 years living in the country I can't manage a stereotype of ANY large group of Thais, like in all places they are people and like all people they are all different.

I can (and often do) buy into the stereotypes of some smaller groups of Thais (and have those stereotype smashed regularly. This includes the BiB, the Army, the folks that make their livings from tourists etc ....

I've lived here for more than 20 years married to a Thai man, speak Thai and have lived in a Thai community for that entire period but he "knows" from his one year of observation.

good luck to you stepenwolf.

[jdinasia]

Wrong. For any intelligent western man, a year or so, a good opbserver who is using logic in his observations and who is not performing his observations in a night bars(only) should to be enough to see what kind of men they are(most of them, huge majority).

Do you honestly feel that you are capable (after only a year, you say) of coming up with a (massively negative) stereotype of a "huge majority" of Thai men?

That is simply ludicrous.

After only 8 years living in the country I can't manage a stereotype of ANY large group of Thais, like in all places they are people and like all people they are all different.

I can (and often do) buy into the stereotypes of some smaller groups of Thais (and have those stereotype smashed regularly. This includes the BiB, the Army, the folks that make their livings from tourists etc ....

I've lived here for more than 20 years married to a Thai man, speak Thai and have lived in a Thai community for that entire period but he "knows" from his one year of observation.

good luck to you stepenwolf.

Exactly,

If you read literature/academic articles I am sure you won't find too much disparaging in the way of stereotypes about Thai men. Probably very little mention of them at all. If you read the rantings online of foreign men that have in some way screwed up in Thailand (usually in tourist areas) you will find scads of it, but if you look at what is actually said blame will usually be 50/50. If you actually meet a broad range of Thai men you will know that no stereotypes hold much water at all. Of course there are some that are <deleted>, just as there are foreign men in Thailand that are the same, that does not in any way mean that you can define the "huge majority" of Thai men in any meaningful way. To suggest that you can (in any length of time) is most likely due to personal issues and not based upon any sizeable sampling of knowing a group of people.

[travelmann]

Fell into a coma after the first few words................... some people must have empty lives

[bifftastic]

I did read the whole OP and, seeing as it's not from a native English speaker, tried to read accordingly.

I think I understand the scenario, and possibly the question (if there is one).

If the question is, are all men going to act the same as the one in the OP then, I believe the answer is no, as people are all different in their motivations and outlook on life.

If the question is about the woman in the OP, in that she seems to be living her life according to the whims of her ex-boyfriend and what, if anything, can be done about it, then again, I would say, people are all different, if she chooses to continue to be ruled by his decisions and whims, there's not a lot you can do about it.

If you were to ask is this a uniquely Thai phenomenon, then definitely no. I know of similar stories here in London.

Some men, once they have got their 'hooks' into a woman, and that woman has a child by them, seem to take pleasure in controlling their life. Using the child as a way of doing it. Some women allow this to happen, some don't.

[KRS1]

telmarsa, don't be so narrow minded and give a blanket statement for all thai men and women in general.

[nocturn]

Fell into a coma after the first few words................... some people must have empty lives

yes, you are proof positive of that. oddly his post has a lot more validity than your pointless non comment.

I also pity you your reading skills. i was easily able to comprehend what he was on about.

Maybe if he had added pictures or used smileys .....