Wife Telling Fibs

[pjclark1]

Most people in the UK and USA think we are all pedophiles.

As that is what the media pushes

Never had anyone accuse me of getting a sex slave!

Anyway

Back on topic.

Why worry about being told lies, the sensible person in a relationship in any country, protects his/her assets.

Those that trust a spouse with their hard earned, will likely lose it,although not necessarily today.

Divorce rates are 50% and rising, protect it or lose it.

[jimbeam1]

Most people in the UK and USA think we are all pedophiles.

As that is what the media pushes

Never had anyone accuse me of getting a sex slave!

Anyway

Back on topic.

Why worry about being told lies, the sensible person in a relationship in any country, protects his/her assets.

Those that trust a spouse with their hard earned, will likely lose it,although not necessarily today.

Divorce rates are 50% and rising, protect it or lose it.

Wise words oh master and anyone who does not heed is asking for loss.

jb1

[StreetCowboy]

Most people in the UK and USA think we are all pedophiles.

As that is what the media pushes

Never had anyone accuse me of getting a sex slave!

Anyway

Back on topic.

Why worry about being told lies, the sensible person in a relationship in any country, protects his/her assets.

Those that trust a spouse with their hard earned, will likely lose it,although not necessarily today.

Divorce rates are 50% and rising, protect it or lose it.

What a bunch of miserable tight-fisted materialistic gits on this forum! Its no wonder western women won't touch you with a barge-pole!

SC

[cardholder]

Most people in the UK and USA think we are all pedophiles.

As that is what the media pushes

Never had anyone accuse me of getting a sex slave!

Anyway

Back on topic.

Why worry about being told lies, the sensible person in a relationship in any country, protects his/her assets.

Those that trust a spouse with their hard earned, will likely lose it,although not necessarily today.

Divorce rates are 50% and rising, protect it or lose it.

What a bunch of miserable tight-fisted materialistic gits on this forum! Its no wonder western women won't touch you with a barge-pole!

SC

I see nothing wrong in protecting one's assets.

[balhamred]

Most people in the UK and USA think we are all pedophiles.

As that is what the media pushes

Never had anyone accuse me of getting a sex slave!

Anyway

Back on topic.

Why worry about being told lies, the sensible person in a relationship in any country, protects his/her assets.

Those that trust a spouse with their hard earned, will likely lose it,although not necessarily today.

Divorce rates are 50% and rising, protect it or lose it.

What a bunch of miserable tight-fisted materialistic gits on this forum! Its no wonder western women won't touch you with a barge-pole!

SC

I see nothing wrong in protecting one's assets.

Then don't get married.

[Beardog]

I always thought or at least learned that any relationship must be based on trust from & for all parties concerned. I feel for you If she is always telling lies how can you ever trust her.Or if it was a reversed situation it would be the same for you if you were a pathological liar.I agree with you SBK sometimes it may be wise to stretch it a bit....never tell your honey she looks like shit or agree with her when she says she got a bad hairstyling. But You will never know in the clutch if she will carry the torch when you need her or if it will be pretendica! The birthday Thais are not that big on although my girl never has forgotten in 7 years. And we are brutally honest with each other. We both feel the same.I am lucky we don't game each other & I don't have to worry about if she is going to kick me out & take the assets from our property. We have already sold land & There was never a question of if she was going to do me.

If I want to hear endless stories I would rather go to a bar & when I leave I could leave the make believe world there.

Good luck...sounds like an uphill battle that may end up in a bad way.

Usually when your significant other is making up stories on a daily basis it is just the setup for the spike serve later on.

[Warhammer820]

i see this happen a lot with thai/farang relationships and the OP does not usually accept the overwhelming consensus but rather they make excuses..is it possible that these people are looking for others to tell them that their relationship is ok or it will get better?

[KeyserSoze01]

It is part of Thai culture. It is called "Kreng Jai." (We call it a "white lie" in our culture.) The speaker is trying to make you feel better and avoid conflit. Thais consider it being polite. To me, it is one of the most maddening aspects of Thai culture. I first became aware of it many years in the States when I used to visit an Asian bar and sit with one of the Thai hostesses. She <U>asked me</U> if I would like to have dinner with her some time. We scheduled a date, time and place to meet. But she never showed up. She later explained to me that she was just trying to make me happy. She did make me happy; but I soon became very unhappy after waiting 2 hours for her to show up.

Yes, she insulted you and exploited your lack of intelligence and leveraged the gross disparity in relative desire to make YOU happy.

She did all that sweet, beautiful lying after standing you up....all for YOU.

It's part of Thai culture, because Thais (in stark contradiction to humanity, in general) care nothing for themselves, and are all about YOU.

You waited 90 minutes too long. She must have really blown you away. I'm sorry you were exploited (we have all been there), but YOU really have only yourself to blame.

Excuse me, but are you retarded?

When is it polite, in any culture, to ask someone out to a meal, then stand them up, and finally to blame YOU for being ignorant enough to expect them to keep their commitment in the first place?

[tonititan]

Excuse me, but are you retarded?

When is it polite, in any culture, to ask someone out to a meal, then stand them up, and finally to blame YOU for being ignorant enough to expect them to keep their commitment in the first place?

In many cultures, it's also not polite to say that.

[mkawish]

tonydabbs, on 2011-03-12 23:02:02, said:

It is part of Thai culture. It is called "Kreng Jai." (We call it a "white lie" in our culture.) The speaker is trying to make you feel better and avoid conflit. Thais consider it being polite. To me, it is one of the most maddening aspects of Thai culture. I first became aware of it many years in the States when I used to visit an Asian bar and sit with one of the Thai hostesses. She <U>asked me</U> if I would like to have dinner with her some time. We scheduled a date, time and place to meet. But she never showed up. She later explained to me that she was just trying to make me happy. She did make me happy; but I soon became very unhappy after waiting 2 hours for her to show up.

tonydabbs....

Kreng Jai <เกรงใจ > in thai.... never intended to mean per your personal assumption.... white lie....

It never does mean white lie in any shape and form.... never....

The best definition of Kreng Jai is possibly proposed by Dr. Chase in 1977.... to mean....

an excuse not to do something

e.g. I kreng jai to call you late at night....;

I kreng jai to tell you the truth....;

I kreng jai your husband/wife....;

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH LAST NIGHT, WHEN I SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU ABOUT IT?

Kreng jai, phee ka....! confound it....!

WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL TO TELL US YESTERDAY.... THAT YOU WON'T BE PRESENTING THIS MORNING....?

Gor.... Kreng jai krub.... didn't want to infuriate you yesterday.... :jap:

Edited March 14, 2011 by mkawish

[StreetCowboy]

Excuse me, but are you retarded?

When is it polite, in any culture, to ask someone out to a meal, then stand them up, and finally to blame YOU for being ignorant enough to expect them to keep their commitment in the first place?

In many cultures, it's also not polite to say that.

I think it was rude and upsetting to ask out a woman who did not want to go out him, and he should have been perceptive enough to understand that. He forced her into lying to him. Then she chose not to turn up, to make her intentions clear, and to avoid having to continue the lie and get deeper into something she was not keen to get involved in. IN social situations, it is probably more polite not to ask questions to which the other party may have to resort to a lie in response

SC

[pjclark1]

I think it was rude and upsetting to ask out a woman who did not want to go out him, and he should have been perceptive enough to understand that. He forced her into lying to him. Then she chose not to turn up, to make her intentions clear, and to avoid having to continue the lie and get deeper into something she was not keen to get involved in. IN social situations, it is probably more polite not to ask questions to which the other party may have to resort to a lie in response

SC

There are many reasons a lady may agree to meet with someone and then not turn up

1) She didn't want to go out with the man but wanted to avoid offending or creating a scene

2) Her husband/boyfriend caught her on the way out

3) Didn't feel well

4) Changed her mind

5) Received a better offer

6) Forgot

No need to assume the worst @ 1)

[Kilgore Trout]

Excuse me, but are you retarded?

When is it polite, in any culture, to ask someone out to a meal, then stand them up, and finally to blame YOU for being ignorant enough to expect them to keep their commitment in the first place?

In many cultures, it's also not polite to say that.

I think it was rude and upsetting to ask out a woman who did not want to go out him, and he should have been perceptive enough to understand that. He forced her into lying to him. Then she chose not to turn up, to make her intentions clear, and to avoid having to continue the lie and get deeper into something she was not keen to get involved in. IN social situations, it is probably more polite not to ask questions to which the other party may have to resort to a lie in response

SC

Kind of like in the mid-west US when you ask a girl for her phone number and she gives it to you. Later you look at the number and it reads 588-2300

[BillR]

So it doesn't take 4 hours to go to the 7-11 I am reevaluating my relationship here

[harrycallahan]

It is part of Thai culture. It is called "Kreng Jai." (We call it a "white lie" in our culture.) The speaker is trying to make you feel better and avoid conflit. Thais consider it being polite. To me, it is one of the most maddening aspects of Thai culture. I first became aware of it many years in the States when I used to visit an Asian bar and sit with one of the Thai hostesses. She <U>asked me</U> if I would like to have dinner with her some time. We scheduled a date, time and place to meet. But she never showed up. She later explained to me that she was just trying to make me happy. She did make me happy; but I soon became very unhappy after waiting 2 hours for her to show up.

Yes, she insulted you and exploited your lack of intelligence and leveraged the gross disparity in relative desire to make YOU happy.

She did all that sweet, beautiful lying after standing you up....all for YOU.

It's part of Thai culture, because Thais (in stark contradiction to humanity, in general) care nothing for themselves, and are all about YOU.

You waited 90 minutes too long. She must have really blown you away. I'm sorry you were exploited (we have all been there), but YOU really have only yourself to blame.

Excuse me, but are you retarded?

When is it polite, in any culture, to ask someone out to a meal, then stand them up, and finally to blame YOU for being ignorant enough to expect them to keep their commitment in the first place?

You do know sarcasm? The guy you're calling retarded was being that, he knows it wasn't going to make the farang happy.

The story would make a little bit of sense if the farang had asked the girl out and she agreed to make him feel happy at the time of asking but still very unhappy upon discovering he's been stood up. I'd still call it BS and prefer to think she said yes simply because it was easier for HER than trying to fob off the dinner request.

But as you've read correctly and I only just realised, SHE ASKED HIM OUT. Then it becomes &lt;deleted&gt;??? That's actually imposing inconvenience on him that was never necessary by any stretch. More likely she intended to have dinner with him when she asked but then just forgot about it or found something better to do. It's inconsiderate in the extreme especially not to inform him she wasn't turning up.

[Kilgore Trout]

It is part of Thai culture. It is called "Kreng Jai." (We call it a "white lie" in our culture.) The speaker is trying to make you feel better and avoid conflit. Thais consider it being polite. To me, it is one of the most maddening aspects of Thai culture. I first became aware of it many years in the States when I used to visit an Asian bar and sit with one of the Thai hostesses. She <U>asked me</U> if I would like to have dinner with her some time. We scheduled a date, time and place to meet. But she never showed up. She later explained to me that she was just trying to make me happy. She did make me happy; but I soon became very unhappy after waiting 2 hours for her to show up.

Yes, she insulted you and exploited your lack of intelligence and leveraged the gross disparity in relative desire to make YOU happy.

She did all that sweet, beautiful lying after standing you up....all for YOU.

It's part of Thai culture, because Thais (in stark contradiction to humanity, in general) care nothing for themselves, and are all about YOU.

You waited 90 minutes too long. She must have really blown you away. I'm sorry you were exploited (we have all been there), but YOU really have only yourself to blame.

Excuse me, but are you retarded?

When is it polite, in any culture, to ask someone out to a meal, then stand them up, and finally to blame YOU for being ignorant enough to expect them to keep their commitment in the first place?

You do know sarcasm? The guy you're calling retarded was being that, he knows it wasn't going to make the farang happy.

The story would make a little bit of sense if the farang had asked the girl out and she agreed to make him feel happy at the time of asking but still very unhappy upon discovering he's been stood up. I'd still call it BS and prefer to think she said yes simply because it was easier for HER than trying to fob off the dinner request.

But as you've read correctly and I only just realised, SHE ASKED HIM OUT. Then it becomes &lt;deleted&gt;??? That's actually imposing inconvenience on him that was never necessary by any stretch. More likely she intended to have dinner with him when she asked but then just forgot about it or found something better to do. It's inconsiderate in the extreme especially not to inform him she wasn't turning up.

Ha right, I just love when Thai apologists look for any reason to say Thais are right in whatever they do; you just don't understand Thai culture

Thais don't stand people up, its just their culture, they are just saving face

[TheyCallmeScooter]

Excuse me, but are you retarded?

When is it polite, in any culture, to ask someone out to a meal, then stand them up, and finally to blame YOU for being ignorant enough to expect them to keep their commitment in the first place?

I am retarded sometimes, but I was being satirical / sarcastic to make a point.

Of course her actions were not polite, of course the Thai fallacies of 'saving face' and 'kreng jai' have absolutely nothing to do with social cohesion, and absolutely everything to do with making excuses for unacceptable behaviour. Her justifying her unacceptable and outrageously selfish actions as being in pursuit of his "happiness", is why Thais are brilliant in ways other cultures aren't.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where someone is telling you they lied to you or let you down for your benefit, you should run. Really, really fast. In the opposite direction.

I think it was rude and upsetting to ask out a woman who did not want to go out him, and he should have been perceptive enough to understand that. He forced her into lying to him. Then she chose not to turn up, to make her intentions clear, and to avoid having to continue the lie and get deeper into something she was not keen to get involved in. IN social situations, it is probably more polite not to ask questions to which the other party may have to resort to a lie in response

Oh my.

Firstly, she asked him out, as the gentleman took pains to highlight (although the html code got screwed up, I think).

Secondly, the reason she didn't show up was either:

a] she never had any intention of doing so, but deemed it in her best interests to lead him on by feigning interest where there was none; or

b] she had an intention of showing up, but a better offer came up or she couldn't be bothered / changed her mind (and she was too self-absorbed, didn't give enough of a toss to bother cancelling).

Thirdly, leading people on (i.e. lying to them, manipulating their emotions) is not acceptable social conduct and is never 'polite'.

Fourthly, you are never forced to resort to lies in social situations, unless you're up to no good. And though there are those who will disagree, that includes little white lies for the sake of laziness ("no dear, your bum doesn't look too big in that"....etc).

Edited March 15, 2011 by TheyCallmeScooter

[saraburioz]

No call on your birthday? The phones in Korat were down? She doesn't have a cellphone and couldn't send an SMS?

The lies will get bigger and bigger as time progresses. This may sound harsh, but it might be time to get rid of her. If you have a joint bank account with a large balance, open an account in your name and move the money.

TheWalkingMan

My thoughts exactly. If she can't remember your birthday after 2 years, she really doesn't give a toss.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

If she can't remember your birthday after 2 years, she really doesn't give a toss.

This is really what it comes down to, and comments about Thais not placing as much emphasis on birthdays and stuff like that really fail to acknowledge the reality, which is the above.

Have you ever been exposed to the attentions of a Thai girl who was obsessed (for whatever reason)? They'll remember the most innocuous details, the most inconsequential things, and they'll bombard you with all of it - up to 50 unacknowledged times a day, via email / FB / SMS / etc.

As much as it stings to accept it, the above is really what it comes down to I'm afraid - whether it's missing the birthday, forgetting to call, or not bothering with a decent excuse.

She really doesn't give a toss.

[StreetCowboy]

If she can't remember your birthday after 2 years, she really doesn't give a toss.

This is really what it comes down to, and comments about Thais not placing as much emphasis on birthdays and stuff like that really fail to acknowledge the reality, which is the above.

Have you ever been exposed to the attentions of a Thai girl who was obsessed (for whatever reason)? They'll remember the most innocuous details, the most inconsequential things, and they'll bombard you with all of it - up to 50 unacknowledged times a day, via email / FB / SMS / etc.

As much as it stings to accept it, the above is really what it comes down to I'm afraid - whether it's missing the birthday, forgetting to call, or not bothering with a decent excuse.

She really doesn't give a toss.

Its always fun to stir it, and help hasten the end of a relationship, especially when only strangers are involved.

I sometimes forget my own birthday, but then, I don't give a toss. I remembered my dear old mother's birthday this year, but then, I've known her a lot more than two years...

SC

[TheyCallmeScooter]

Its always fun to stir it, and help hasten the end of a relationship, especially when only strangers are involved.

I sometimes forget my own birthday, but then, I don't give a toss.

I would never attempt to hasten the end of a relationship, whether it's friends or strangers involved. That would be pretty twisted, no? If any e-advice or opinions I ever give are wrong, it would not be due to any intent.

I might hasten the end of my own relationships, but that's really more my subconscious stabbing me in the back.

But as far as birthdays go, I think once you're over the age of 14 or w/e - or no longer liable to get emotional about whether you have ice cream cake or not - caring a great deal about your own birthday is generally a sign of narcissism and I've always found it bemusing, in some friends (who throw themselves huge birthday parties..."hey everybody, come celebrate me!")

But that has nothing to do with the issue being discussed. In a relationship, if you're not a narcissist, you'd remember the 'important' dates in the life of someone you cared about. Forgetting your partner's birthday after 2 years of marriage, is a red light that has nothing to do with birthdays. Making a pathetic, lame excuse about why you forgot, is a red light that has nothing to do with birthdays either.

Basically, I would likely forget my own birthday more often than not. But if my partner forgot it, I would try and translate what she was indirectly telling me.

[NALAK]

no matter how much you give or what you do it comes as part of the package and will never change, i think its the same from day 1, just the longer your together the more you notice it, its called the trade off i think. its part of the culture from the top all the way down. i some times think they do it just because its easier than the truth.

would not waste time or money on councillor

[mstribling]

Thais love birthdays. I bet we go to a birthday party for someone every two weeks.

My guess is that she forgot and is blowing smoke up your ass.

Don't sweat it though. She's good looking right?

[aries27]

that's where you guys get it so wrong. for women, good sex is a result of good communication between partners, if nothing else.

[pjclark1]

that's where you guys get it so wrong. for women, good sex is a result of good communication between partners, if nothing else.

But we aren't worried about what makes good sex for women.

This is all about what WE want!

ME ME ME

[Geekfreaklover]

Lies and secrets (which are worse) are human nauture.

Individuals that have no secrets and do not lie are pure, content people. Rarer than hens teeth in Thailand.

Thais use lies in business circles. It is acceptable, expected even for two indivdiuals to lie to one another (both knowing that the other is lying) during a meeting. Lies are everywhere, usually told in a way that you know that they are lies, but the teller doesn't want to be rude

My g/f lies about things to avoid confrontation, and no doubt has one or two secrets. I also lie occasionally, and have done a few things I'll keep to myself.

Like I say. Human nature.

Edited March 16, 2011 by Geekfreaklover

[KunMatt]

I feel sorry for the OPs situation. I even get a card from my gf's family on my birthday, but your wife doesn't even care enough to call you when you are away or even remember you??

I wonder if it would be the same if it was something important to her, like wanting some money, you think she would have called you then in the morning?

So she doesn't speak good English, she lies to you all the time and doesn't care about you enough to remember you on your own birthday. Sorry mate but that is really sad, why the hell did you marry her??

[aries27]

that's where you guys get it so wrong. for women, good sex is a result of good communication between partners, if nothing else.

But we aren't worried about what makes good sex for women.

This is all about what WE want!

ME ME ME

Typical!

But communication for sex is easier, no need for anyone to learn English or Thai, as the case may be.

[mark45y]

that's where you guys get it so wrong. for women, good sex is a result of good communication between partners, if nothing else.

It is unnatural* for man to be monogamous. If good (accurate, truthful) communication were to exist between partners, it would go something like this; Male “honey we have had sex three days in a row and I really would like a different woman today.” Female “You heathen jerk, where is the butcher knife?”

Thank your lucky female stars that communication is less than factual most of the time.

Fibbing is good.

*Exception men posting on Thai Visa.

[mstribling]

Ok. I asked the wife her thoughts on this.

I seldom bring her into these, as she thinks were all insane. Pecking away on the computer about Thai women, when theres a good chance one is in the room.

I asked her "Why the lies."

She said. "To make people feel good. "

I said "But you never lie to me right?"

"Of course not" she replied, and then flashed the smile.

I told her that some farang men feel slighted and disrespected when a woman lies.

She said " What you feel is up to you."

She asked me if I thought her younger sister was sexy.

"Oh hell no!" was my immediate response.

She just smiled.