I am making a T-shirt with the following, but I want the Thai tranlsation to exactly replicate the English tone, style and sense, and have no grammatical errors. Could somebody really good please translate.

"Please don't speak to me in English; it makes me feel unwelcome. Please speak to me in Thai and then you will see a big smile appear on my face. Thank you."

Thanks :jap:

By the time most Thais read that they will have gone right off speaking to you anyway.

If you are really fluent in Thai let them speak to you in English then answer them in Thai and take it from there.

If you are not really fluent in Thai you are going to look a right plonker when a Thai comes at you with a stream of unfamiliar dialect and you can't understand a bluddy word.

Begs the question -

By what measure should the person reading your shirt be making you feel welcome, warm and fuzzy?

I think if you're asking for a translation, you're not ready to put that on your t-shirt.

Not that it would ever be a good thing to have on a t-shirt.

To the last three posters...

Please forgive them Oh Lord, for they know not what they speak.

It never ceases to amaze me the amount of free-- and very unsolicited-- advice from minds far wiser than mine come my way in the Thaivisa forum. It is, I suppose a forum, and that does encourage members to chat. But one does have a sneaking suspicion that their advice is that of monolinguals, and they simply have no insight into the travails endured in the language aquisition game. And one cannot help noticing they are infrequent visitors to the language forum.

The advice offered appears to not recognise the very real language war game that is a daily grind of the Thai speaker. My problem is not finding people to speak to, it is putting off people speaking to me. I am certain the T-shirt will have a remarkably good effect just as a badge I found for 'Gap' workers in Japan that said "japanese please" on it saved a lot of 'negotiation time'.

The advice of the last is the most silly. The difference between an advanced speaker and a fluent speaker is vast. But only a fluent speaker has the ability to offer what I am after: "exactly replicate the English tone, style and sense, and have no grammatical errors". I am not after, a kind of okay translation, which is one I can already perform.

So, with that out the way, and with I think it now clear that I never sought any advice but just a translation, I ask for help again from those that can offer it.

:jap:

Well-said, Gaccha. I must admit that based solely on your initial post, I, too, was ready to classify you as a wanke_r. Your follow-up post, however, has opened my eyes to the fact that you are a fellow language acquisitionist, and probably a better one than myself. Good luck to you, sir. I am years away from providing the translation you are after. But I do understand the reasoning behind your request.

Hmmmm I can think of about 3 different ways to say that and I am sure others can think of more.

The base assumption that someone going out of their way to speak to you in English is being unwelcoming, fails culturally and practically. Starting with "please don't" in a conversation (and yes the T-shirt is the opening line of a conversation) just wouldn't be proper and the same goes for the unwelcome part.

The OP would do better culturally wearing a T-shirt that says "I speak Thai" and a smiley face

I'm with jd on this one.

Much better t-shirt and has no negative phrases on it.

Agreed. jdinasia's suggested text is not only more appropriate, but also, in its brevity, much more practical for this T-shirt application.

Sorry for the long post, just thought I’d throw out some observations ..

Given the novella the O/P wants on his shirt; I highly doubt ANY Thai is gonna take the time to read it in its entirety. I can read Thai pretty darned quickly but even I wouldn't waste the time it’d take to read it (and I’ll read just about anything written in Thai, lol). ..

It would appear to me that t-shirts are not all that big of a medium used to convey useful messages in Thai to Thais. Although the t-shirts the red-shirt protestors sell when they are at Rachaprasong do have some good sayings they’re politically based stuff and I don’t see ‘em worn anywhere but there..

I also concur with other posters, insofar as starting off a sentence in the negative, even when using please, just doesn't play culturally to Thais you don't know from "Somchai". The last thing I’d say first to a strange Thai in Thai is “Don’t blah-blah-blah because I feel unwelcome…”

I applaud your effort to try to get Thais to engage you in Thai. Then again, you are a foreigner here right? Given that SO many foreigners here are unable to speak more than ‘2-word-tourist-Thai’ or 'horse-peak', well you can't really blame the Thais for tryin' engrish on you first, can you? If anything, they’re tryin’ to be accommodating not condescending, no matter how it makes you feel inside ..

I think a simple and slightly self-deprecating shirt might play better. Something along the lines of;

กูพูดไทยได้ - โอเคมั้ย

I purposely left out the word language, used the engrish word 'okay' and the more colloquial spelling for ไหม too. Every Thai I know would understand it. After all this is a t-shirt, so you’re not gonna be wearing it at the office. If กู’s too low-so for you use ฉัน.

I think a smiley face, (I've seen one which even uses slanted asian eyes :jap: ), would be fitting under it to reinforce it’s a tongue in cheek message, instead of an ‘info-mercial’ about your feelings.

That's just me though. ... Oh BTW; I’m most definitely pursuing the acquisition of the Thai language, in case you're wondering .

Still if you insist on going with your overly verbose version of the shirt, let us know what you work out as far as the Thai translation, and how it plays for you.

Sorry again, this was a long and offered no direct translation for you. Dam_n these anonymous internet forums. How dare people have an opinion on things!

A lot of positive responses there-- thanks to you all!

Tod, your translation has made me think. I'll come back to you on what I end up doing. Anyway, since I ahven't got what I wanted... ...I'll do it myself and see if anybody wants to correct... I am particularly interested in what sense/tone it has about it. It is not quite the same as I first set out:

"กรุณาอย่าพููดภาษาอังกฤษกับผม เพราะมันทำให้ผมรู้สึกแปลกๆ

พูดภาษาไทยกับผมเถอะนะ แล้วคุณจะเห็นรอยยิ้มหวานๆบนใบหน้านี้

ขอบคุณครับ"

[smiley face]

Well, how about that?...

I like the idea of it sounding verbose as that in itself has a comedic effect...

It fails the culture test. It is too long. It makes others responsible for how you feel (the basis of failing the culture litmus test) ...

Tod's is good but I still suggest that a single positive statement would be better.

I would like to give a short version translation which I think will meet OP's requirement.

คุณจะเห็นผมยิ้มอิ่มใจ, ถ้าคุณพูดไทยกับผม

you'll see a happy smile, if you speak Thai to me.

:jap:

How about "พูดไทย - (g)or die!" Just joking. Agree that a positive sounding message is what you are looking for, the 'grumpy' tone that is funny, personal or endearing in some cultures, just doesn't go down too well with most people in this culture.

Might I suggest a size XXX-Large T-shirt in order to accommodate your message. What kind of tiny font would one have to use to get this entire message on a T-shirt?

"กรุณาอย่าพููดภาษาอังกฤษกับผม เพราะมันทำให้ผมรู้สึกแปลกๆ

พูดภาษาไทยกับผมเถอะนะ แล้วคุณจะเห็นรอยยิ้มหวานๆบนใบหน้านี้

ขอบคุณครับ"

Might I suggest a size XXX-Large T-shirt in order to accommodate your message. What kind of tiny font would one have to use to get this entire message on a T-shirt?

"กรุณาอย่าพููดภาษาอังกฤษกับผม เพราะมันทำให้ผมรู้สึกแปลกๆ

พูดภาษาไทยกับผมเถอะนะ แล้วคุณจะเห็นรอยยิ้มหวานๆบนใบหน้านี้

ขอบคุณครับ"

...That was going to be part of the comedic effect-- make it look like a legal regulation... I think the design of the T-shirt is key.

if you are after comedy....stick to your day job.

Kind of obnoxious that you feel the need to tell everybody that you speak thai so well...............n all that

Sorry in advance for another long post. ...

If you're going for the 'governmental edict' look, you've got that pegged already!

I still think tongue in cheek, slightly self deprecating or things with sexual innuendo in the Thai word play works way better with the Thai sense of humor.

Here're a few other ideas I had;

กรุณาพูดไทย

พูดอังกฤษไม่เป็น

Please speak Thai

(I) am unable to speak engrish. .

Obviously Thais will know; you as a foreigner are most likely capable of speaking engrish just fine, but the ไม่เป็น will give it a more comedic feel.

What about a take on the "forbidden to smoke cigarettes in this area" or the "this area free from smoking cigarettes" signs you see everywhere, something like;

ห้ามพูดอังกฤษบริเวณนี้

ปรับเงิน ไม่เกิน ๒๐๐๐

Forbidden to speak thai in this area

Fine not to exceed 2000baht

เขตนี้ปลอดภัยภาษาอังกฤษ

กรุณาพูดไทย

This is an english language free area

Please speak Thai

Or maybe the take on the “NO Parking” signs

ห้ามพูดอังกฤษตลอดเวลา

Forbidden to speak english all the time

The wording may be worng <sic> errr wrong, as I just ripped it off what I remember from signage I've seen.

FWIW; my thai isn't nearly as good as yours, but I’ll get there one day.

In fact, to back up the fact my Thai is sorely lacking; I have a t-shirt made which says;

ขอโทษ พูดภาษาไทยไม่ค่อยแข็ง

I can't refer to it now as it's in the washing machine; so I don't know if I got the 'koi' word spelled right or not. I purposely made it to say ไม่ค่อยแข็ง, rather than using the word เก่ง. The term I used is actually slang which carries the sexual innuendo of having "erectile dysfunction". However, I've also heard younger thais say it where it carries the english meaning of "not very hard-core".

Still it gets laughs, breaks the ice, and gives me a chance to speak Thai to the Thais. That’s all I want anyway. ..

Good Luck.

Sorry in advance for another long post. ...

If you're going for the 'governmental edict' look, you've got that pegged already!

ห้ามพูดอังกฤษบริเวณนี้

ปรับเงิน ไม่เกิน ๒๐๐๐

Forbidden to speak thai in this area

Fine not to exceed 2000baht

That is one fine post Tod. Thank you very much for your suggestions. The one above is my favourite. :jap:

if you are after comedy....stick to your day job.

Kind of obnoxious that you feel the need to tell everybody that you speak thai so well...............n all that

I think sometimes that my day job is being a comedian.

I don't say anywhere that I can 'speak thai so well'... I am just trying to preempt the tedious language battle that starts so many conversations here...

Sorry in advance for another long post. ...

If you're going for the 'governmental edict' look, you've got that pegged already!

ห้ามพูดอังกฤษบริเวณนี้

ปรับเงิน ไม่เกิน ๒๐๐๐

Forbidden to speak thai in this area

Fine not to exceed 2000baht

That is one fine post Tod. Thank you very much for your suggestions. The one above is my favourite. :jap:

Obviously I missed proofreading that suggestion, as my engrish translation is wrong, but the Thais right.

Sorry about that, it should say;

Forbidden to speak ENGLISH in this area!

Fine not to exceed 2000baht

Still, thanx for the thanx. ..

All of Tod's ideas have merit ... He isn't pushing off any negative feelings on someone who is basically either trying to be nice by speaking English, or be polite by speaking English.

Something a bit light hearted...

อย่าสะพีก English

สะพีก Thai ง่ายกว่าเยอะ

How about "พูดไทย - มือใหม่" (Speak Thai - "new hand")

In practice the มือใหม่ designation usually implies that one is "in training" as you see on so many cars that should be avoided.

This works because it is (1) short and sweet (2) it rhymes and (3) it is friendly and likely to get people to speak Thai with you.

Good Luck

NG

Something a bit light hearted...

อย่าสะพีก English

สะพีก Thai ง่ายกว่าเยอะ

*That* *is* *funny* .

Thanks--- maybe this on the front and another one (Monsieur Tod's idea perhaps) on the back.

How about "พูดไทย - มือใหม่" (Speak Thai - "new hand")

In practice the มือใหม่ designation usually implies that one is "in training" as you see on so many cars that should be avoided.

This works because it is (1) short and sweet (2) it rhymes and (3) it is friendly and likely to get people to speak Thai with you.

Good Luck

NG

I think this risks encouraging what I am trying to discourage. It implies the 'speak thai nitnoi' narrative. This established the farang is aware of a slice of Thai phrases but is going to be/needs to be reliant on the Thai. Still, handy for beginners I think. :jap:

I have found that by using a very simple Thai idiom in an initial conversation with someone new almost always opens up conversation quickly.

I am not sure how it would work on a T-shirt but I think it MIGHT work.

nguu nguu plaa plaa

When complimented on speaking Thai I use it as a self-deprecating joke that immediately serves to speed the conversations up.

Yes, but the 2 words in that sentence are probably 2 of the most mispronounced words spoken by foreigners, which is quite ironic.

Another one:

ไอสะพีก Thai ได้

ยูไม่ต้องสะพีก English

I am assuming that Gaccha (and Tod and Meadish etc etc etc ) will not have any problem saying 'snake snake fish fish' in Thai

ขอห้ามพูกภาษาอังกฤษกับฉันหน่อยนะ มันจะทำให้ฉันรู้ศึกไม่เป็นที่ต้อนรับ

ขอให้พูดภาไทยกับฉันดีกว่า แล้วคุณจะเห็นร้อยยิ้มปรากฏบนหน้าใบนี้ ขอบคุณครับ/ค่ะ

good luck with the shirt.