What Servants To Have

[Kilgore Trout]

Colonialism isn't dead.

Apparently not, these people make me sick

Me too, but I would probably feel better about it if I could afford to hire a few servants myself.

Does one not have a man to deal with that sort of thing? One can scarcely imagine hiring one's own servants. That's what the butler is for, surely?

I am surprised at how many people on TV seem to have sensitive stomachs...

SC

Edit: I suppose "green with envy" would have been less ambiguous than 'sick'

Not quite; my wife and I could certainly afford to "hire a few servants." Why on earth would I want to do that? I would feel silly.

DIY

[Semper]

So what servantry would you reccommend?

A wife.

[lannarebirth]

Well, if you've got any land at all you're going to need a gamekeeper and a groomsman to start. I think Naam's got the domestic staff sorted pretty well.

[StreetCowboy]

Well, if you've got any land at all you're going to need a gamekeeper and a groomsman to start. I think Naam's got the domestic staff sorted pretty well.

Stableman, master of the hounds, and, if you don't like to take it out for a run yourself, someone to look after the ferret

but the chap that deals with the badgers should be the most senior (sorry, that's a bit... abtuse... cryptic...too many steps of slightly strangled logic...)

SC

[anotheruser]

I thought most had their thai girlfriends take care of all these things

In my experience they take care of the 'other' things. Perhaps one kind of servant the OP could use is somebody to think for him. How hard could it be to know what kind of slaves eerrrr I mean servants you need be? Seems like the thread is more or less a tacky way of saying "look at me I have money" not that there is anything wrong with that. Pehaps you could hire a servant to type your posts for you?

[StreetCowboy]

I thought most had their thai girlfriends take care of all these things

In my experience they take care of the 'other' things. Perhaps one kind of servant the OP could use is somebody to think for him. How hard could it be to know what kind of slaves eerrrr I mean servants you need be? Seems like the thread is more or less a tacky way of saying "look at me I have money" not that there is anything wrong with that. Pehaps you could hire a servant to type your posts for you?

I have someone to do that for me, pretentious <deleted> that I am

SC

EDIT: If anyone is looking for a job...

EDIT: Anyone got a job for someone who can type faster than they can think?

[Beetlejuice]

I think some of you are living under a delusion.

Domestic workers are no longer cheap in Thailand.

Part time housekeeper/cleaner 300 baht per hour on average.

Full time maid/housekeeper not live in can cost you 9000 to 10000 baht per month, sometimes more if there is child caring involved.

A live in housekeeper starting from 10000 baht a month, plus food, plus bills including a day off each week.

A housekeeper rent a wife, from 20000 baht to 30000 baht a month, plus food, plus bills and time off.

Hiring the services of an illegal foreign worker, Burmese etc, without papers can lead to deportation for the woman or man and a 60000 baht fine for the hirer.

The days of the 3000 baht per month, all included, loyal servant whose life ambition is to serve their master have long gone.

There maybe some exceptions to the above, but these are mostly people that are desperate for work at the time and will depart as soon as an offer of better employment comes along.

[StreetCowboy]

I think some of you are living under a delusion.

Domestic workers are no longer cheap in Thailand.

Part time housekeeper/cleaner 300 baht per hour on average.

Full time maid/housekeeper not live in can cost you 9000 to 10000 baht per month, sometimes more if there is child caring involved.

A live in housekeeper starting from 10000 baht a month, plus food, plus bills including a day off each week.

A housekeeper rent a wife, from 20000 baht to 30000 baht a month, plus food, plus bills and time off.

Hiring the services of an illegal foreign worker, Burmese etc, without papers can lead to deportation for the woman or man and a 60000 baht fine for the hirer.

The days of the 3000 baht per month, all included, loyal servant whose life ambition is to serve their master have long gone.

There maybe some exceptions to the above, but these are mostly people that are desperate for work at the time and will depart as soon as an offer of better employment comes along.

And are you saying that one should compromise merely because of short-term economic fluctuations?

Surely one should first exhaust the other alternatives, such as earning money on behalf of oneself,

Of course, God forbid, but it is a last resort, is it not?

SC

[IanForbes]

What I want to know is how I get a Thai maid to do the work in my CANADIAN home... but for Thai wages.

It seems the only legal way is to marry one... and I'm not going down that expensive trail again.

[anotheruser]

What I want to know is how I get a Thai maid to do the work in my CANADIAN home... but for Thai wages.

It seems the only legal way is to marry one... and I'm not going down that expensive trail again.

Just promise some naive chick from Issan an absurdly high wage and then chain her up in your basement upon arrival. This works for some.

Wanted:

Uneducated, stunningly beautiful, Thai lady, up to 25 years of age

An obvious inability to communicate in conversational English is a plus

Duties include watching TV all day and light cleaning

Salary $35,000 a week or a gajillion dollars annually whichever amount is greater.

Edited April 19, 2011 by anotheruser

[bifftastic]

So, it seems that the days of the 3000 baht per month, all included, loyal servant whose life ambition is to serve their master have long gone.

Good!

If you want people to work for you, pay them a decent wage.

Although the senior Badger Valet can, of course, recruit Under-Badger Valets out of his own stipend, unless of course we wish to see the demise of civilisation in our own lifetime!

alternative arrangements can be found at www.doyourowneffinhousework.com

[JurgenG]

Colonialism isn't dead.

Apparently not, these people make me sick

What's wrong with giving a job to people ?

As long as the working condition are acceptable and the salary decent, I really don't see what is the problem, dare to explain ?

[spud1]

Colonialism isn't dead.

Apparently not, these people make me sick

What's wrong with giving a job to people ?

As long as the working condition are acceptable and the salary decent, I really don't see what is the problem, dare to explain ?

Maybe it's the pompous outdated terminology being used.Or perhaps you've been hobnobbing with the TV aristocrats for to long.

[zaza]

Hair and make up stylist

[JurgenG]

So it's the term "servant" you don't like.

Agree with you, I prefer the terms "house helper" or "house keeper" .

In Bangkok, our helper is so good, helpful and resourceful that we call her our "estate manager"

[StreetCowboy]

Colonialism isn't dead.

Apparently not, these people make me sick

What's wrong with giving a job to people ?

As long as the working condition are acceptable and the salary decent, I really don't see what is the problem, dare to explain ?

Maybe it's the pompous outdated terminology being used.Or perhaps you've been hobnobbing with the TV aristocrats for to long.

One would not want to refer to one's household complement using the wrong terminology.

One's batman would be appalled!

SC

[Heng]

Driver, housekeeper, nanny (x 2) and combo personal assistant/clerk/rent collector/food picker upper. I have the latter acknowledge all orders with 'by your command.'

[JurgenG]

combo personal assistant/clerk/rent collector/food picker upper. I have the latter acknowledge all orders with 'by your command.'

Here "henchman" is the right terminology

[Naam]

One troll post removed. Almost removed Naam's as he knows WAY too much about servants!!!!!! :lol:

:jap:

But was that a "batman" or "bootman"?

batman is an invention of the british armed forces and still a tradition in the armed forces of India, Pakistan and Bangla Desh. he is a low ranking soldier who renders all kind of personal services to an officer.

[Heng]

combo personal assistant/clerk/rent collector/food picker upper. I have the latter acknowledge all orders with 'by your command.'

Here "henchman" is the right terminology

Nice. Will order that printed on our soi's motorcycle jackets.

[Naam]

well respected TV member Naam would know.You seem to have a few things in common.

Make sure that your gardener speaks at least three languages and gives you lucrative stock market tips. That is part of the service.

And another one...

If anything, the guiding principle here should be that the gardener speaks so many languages you forget to keep track of how many it is when you brag about it on TV - that way you look really credible.

there is nothing to brag about how many languages the domestic staff masters. language skills are a basic necessity for communication between employer and employee. mentioning them (when applicable) is merely stating a fact and not bragging. naturally there will be always some unfortunate ones who can't afford staff and who will bitch enviously and repeatedly about it with the saliva running down their chins and no butler to wipe it off.

[Naam]

Well, if you've got any land at all you're going to need a gamekeeper and a groomsman to start. I think Naam's got the domestic staff sorted pretty well.

the fact that our three employees are with us six, five and five years speaks for itself.

[gregb]

well respected TV member Naam would know.You seem to have a few things in common.

Make sure that your gardener speaks at least three languages and gives you lucrative stock market tips. That is part of the service.

And another one...

If anything, the guiding principle here should be that the gardener speaks so many languages you forget to keep track of how many it is when you brag about it on TV - that way you look really credible.

there is nothing to brag about how many languages the domestic staff masters. language skills are a basic necessity for communication between employer and employee. mentioning them (when applicable) is merely stating a fact and not bragging. naturally there will be always some unfortunate ones who can't afford staff and who will bitch enviously and repeatedly about it with the saliva running down their chins and no butler to wipe it off.

After all, we're living in Thailand, and it would clearly be demeaning and not proper to lower oneself to learn and speak the local language of servants. Masters aren't peasants after all.

[Naam]

after all, living in Thailand wouldn't it be appropriate to convert to Buddhism, believe in ghosts and demons, eat Som Tam and fermented fish garnished with a helping of roaches and wooly spiders for dinner, getting drunk on Lao Khao and Chang, divorce the ol' farang wife, marry a Thai lady less than half her age and perhaps half her weight, add a mia noi (or two) who could be your granddaughters...

next!

[spud1]

One would not want to refer to one's household complement using the wrong terminology.

One's batman would be appalled!

SC

If only you were joking.

[Beetlejuice]

So, it seems that the days of the 3000 baht per month, all included, loyal servant whose life ambition is to serve their master have long gone.

Good!

If you want people to work for you, pay them a decent wage.

Although the senior Badger Valet can, of course, recruit Under-Badger Valets out of his own stipend, unless of course we wish to see the demise of civilisation in our own lifetime!

alternative arrangements can be found at www.doyourowneffinhousework.com

Trust you to come on here and spoil things.

We were having fun until you arrived.

[samran]

p_brownstone is right about the Mae Baan. They don't really exist anymore for new commers.

A few Aunts employ them, and have done so for the past 40+ years. They run the shop basically. It has been a good deal for them, as the Mae Baan's kids have all had their schooling paid for, been given good and responsible jobs when they grew up etc etc, their families have been looked after.

One Mae Baan for a particular Aunty now lives with my cousin. And she runs the house for my cousin. Not that the Mae Baan does much, she just bosses around all the other maids. At leat 40+ years working for the same family.

And after all these years, one lesson learned is that when I enter an aunts house I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS seek out the Mae Baan and 'wai' her first.

Edited April 20, 2011 by samran

[bifftastic]

So, it seems that the days of the 3000 baht per month, all included, loyal servant whose life ambition is to serve their master have long gone.

Good!

If you want people to work for you, pay them a decent wage.

Although the senior Badger Valet can, of course, recruit Under-Badger Valets out of his own stipend, unless of course we wish to see the demise of civilisation in our own lifetime!

alternative arrangements can be found at www.doyourowneffinhousework.com

Trust you to come on here and spoil things.

We were having fun until you arrived.

[geriatrickid]

Although the spirit of the thread has turned to smug tongue in cheek attempts at humour, the coment that "naturally there will be always some unfortunate ones who can't afford staff and who will bitch enviously and repeatedly about it with the saliva running down their chins and no butler to wipe it off" is annoying. On the contrary, those that have the experience of live in help know the burdens of maintaining such staff and are more likely to avoid the situation.

It is incredibly bad form to refer to domestic help as "servants". This is an expression used primarily by the nouveau riche. Proper folk always refer to the staff as the help. Live in staff intrude upon one's privacy. Yes, one can have staff quarters, but the staff can still be underfoot. Those that have live in staff are either families with young children or are the elderly requiring assistance with tasks such as their daily bath or bowel movement. Some may need help with the changing of the adult incontinence diaper. A young couple, or family with teenagers will usually not have live in help.

Anyone that has been there will know why. You can't have a naked frolic in the salon if Imelda the maid is puttering about dusting. The missus can't sunbathe topless by the pool, if BooBoo the gardener is going to be about leering. One is always worried about the teenagers having sexual dalliances with the help. As well, teenagers will intentionally run off the live in staff. I know that my siblings caused one maid to have a near nervous collapase, and another maid to run off screaming. One of the families up the street used to set off firecrackers at night in the maid's quarters. The presence of live in staff seriously cramps kids' opportunities for nookie, mayhem and havoc. Goal 1 of any child upon reaching the age of 11 is to dispose of the live in staff. Usually, the kids succeed. One of my schoolmates when it was late at night used to sneak off to an air vent that was connected to the maid's room and make ghost noises. It terrified the Carribean woman so and she was convinced the devil was in the house. And no I am not making that up. Of course it can work the other way. We had a german cleaning lady that upon seeing a picture of me and my horse remarked that she had eaten horsemeat after the war. Not the brightest thing to say to an 8 year old. I was quite concerned that this horrid hun would somehow find a way devour my friend.

Anyone that has had such staff is all too familiar with the problems that come with them. It seems that they are always telling Madame of their family problems. One of our maids had an exboyfriend that wouldn't leave the woman alone resulting in a drunken appearance at the front door with the chap banging and caling her name. My father had to administer a good thrashing to ensure the ex didn't come back. This is part and parcel of having such staff. And then there are the accusations of sexual harassment. Fortunately, we also seemed to have the ugliest of women workers. My mother was quite wise in that respect. A healthy marital relationship does not allow for beautiful help.Beautiful maids are myth.It is the fantasy of married men that are stuck ugly spouses.

In respect to the low wages paid, I wonder where some people find the staff. Is it at the exit door from a prison? How can they trust such low paid unskilled staff with their children let alone their companion animals? Is it any wonder then why some of the families that hire cheap help have children that seem to be brain damaged or slowly traumatized? Here's a hint. The low end worker isn't going to think twice about terrorizing your child or telling anyone when she drops the baby on its head. My Thai friend pays a lady 100 baht per visit to come and take his dog for walkieswhen he is at work. That works out to about 2500 baht per month. And yet someone will be quite happy paying 6000 baht to have a person live in taking care of their kids? It seems to me that the value of a Thai dog is worth more than the life a farang child on the farang scale of staff wages. Good show.

How could anyone even consider allowing such staff to prepare their meals? A properly trained domestic cook also oversees the food purchases and costs a minimum of 30,000- 60,000 baht/month plus benefits depending upon training. And by cook I mean one that is able to prepare quality well balanced meals suitable for a famiy.

[StreetCowboy]

Although the spirit of the thread has turned to smug tongue in cheek attempts at humour, the coment that "naturally there will be always some unfortunate ones who can't afford staff and who will bitch enviously and repeatedly about it with the saliva running down their chins and no butler to wipe it off" is annoying. On the contrary, those that have the experience of live in help know the burdens of maintaining such staff and are more likely to avoid the situation.

It is incredibly bad form to refer to domestic help as "servants". This is an expression used primarily by the nouveau riche. Proper folk always refer to the staff as the help. Live in staff intrude upon one's privacy. Yes, one can have staff quarters, but the staff can still be underfoot. Those that have live in staff are either families with young children or are the elderly requiring assistance with tasks such as their daily bath or bowel movement. Some may need help with the changing of the adult incontinence diaper. A young couple, or family with teenagers will usually not have live in help.

Anyone that has been there will know why. You can't have a naked frolic in the salon if Imelda the maid is puttering about dusting. The missus can't sunbathe topless by the pool, if BooBoo the gardener is going to be about leering. One is always worried about the teenagers having sexual dalliances with the help. As well, teenagers will intentionally run off the live in staff. I know that my siblings caused one maid to have a near nervous collapase, and another maid to run off screaming. One of the families up the street used to set off firecrackers at night in the maid's quarters. The presence of live in staff seriously cramps kids' opportunities for nookie, mayhem and havoc. Goal 1 of any child upon reaching the age of 11 is to dispose of the live in staff. Usually, the kids succeed. One of my schoolmates when it was late at night used to sneak off to an air vent that was connected to the maid's room and make ghost noises. It terrified the Carribean woman so and she was convinced the devil was in the house. And no I am not making that up. Of course it can work the other way. We had a german cleaning lady that upon seeing a picture of me and my horse remarked that she had eaten horsemeat after the war. Not the brightest thing to say to an 8 year old. I was quite concerned that this horrid hun would somehow find a way devour my friend.

Anyone that has had such staff is all too familiar with the problems that come with them. It seems that they are always telling Madame of their family problems. One of our maids had an exboyfriend that wouldn't leave the woman alone resulting in a drunken appearance at the front door with the chap banging and caling her name. My father had to administer a good thrashing to ensure the ex didn't come back. This is part and parcel of having such staff. And then there are the accusations of sexual harassment. Fortunately, we also seemed to have the ugliest of women workers. My mother was quite wise in that respect. A healthy marital relationship does not allow for beautiful help.Beautiful maids are myth.It is the fantasy of married men that are stuck ugly spouses.

In respect to the low wages paid, I wonder where some people find the staff. Is it at the exit door from a prison? How can they trust such low paid unskilled staff with their children let alone their companion animals? Is it any wonder then why some of the families that hire cheap help have children that seem to be brain damaged or slowly traumatized? Here's a hint. The low end worker isn't going to think twice about terrorizing your child or telling anyone when she drops the baby on its head. My Thai friend pays a lady 100 baht per visit to come and take his dog for walkieswhen he is at work. That works out to about 2500 baht per month. And yet someone will be quite happy paying 6000 baht to have a person live in taking care of their kids? It seems to me that the value of a Thai dog is worth more than the life a farang child on the farang scale of staff wages. Good show.

How could anyone even consider allowing such staff to prepare their meals? A properly trained domestic cook also oversees the food purchases and costs a minimum of 30,000- 60,000 baht/month plus benefits depending upon training. And by cook I mean one that is able to prepare quality well balanced meals suitable for a famiy.

One should make allowances for a poster who cannot tell the difference between Muttley sniggrering and Muttley grizzling.

It is a joy to be able to pay one's staff more than the going rate, and to have staff who are highly recommended by your peers, colleagues and friends, whether that be in the professional environment or the domestic. However, one fears that one's peers may not appreciate the necessary qualities for someone who is tasked with training thre whippets

Personally, I would strongly recommend against a romantic dalliance with any of the domestic staff, since they will generally be closer to the lady of the house than one might expect. In Thailand, there is certainly no excuse for such errant behaviour. It places an inappropriate strain on the professional integrity of the staff, and compromises the organisation and hierarchy of the household. If God had wanted us to indulge in such liaisons, he would not have blessed us with the Soi Seven Beer Bar.

SC