ExpatJ Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 I hate to say this because it probably applies to quite a few folks on thaivisa- but in my experience in every marriage where the thai wife is 15+ years or so younger than the farang husband, the wife has been cheating on him normally with younger thai or farang men. But i guess that's the price men pay for marrying hot younger girls... I would dispute the ageist, racist and sexist part of your post and rewrite it to say In my experience in nearly every relationship where one partner has been left alone for long periods of time he/she has been cheating with whoever was available. Age of husband/wife/lover irrelevant Nationality of husband//wife/lover irrelevant I stand by what i said and it does make logical sense- at the end of the day a 20 something young thai girl with 40+++ farang man have little in common- and when it comes to going out, the older farang men prefer to sit in bars or visit friends houses and chat with other older farang men- utter boredom for a 20 something thai girl- no wonder that they always want to go and visit, party with or spend the night "with their girlfriends" or "sister". Its not that the girls are left alone, its just that they want some excitement. What is surprising is that the husbands in these cases are mostly oblivious to what is going under their noses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuckyLemon Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 I stand by what i said and it does make logical sense- at the end of the day a 20 something young thai girl with 40+++ farang man have little in common- and when it comes to going out, the older farang men prefer to sit in bars or visit friends houses and chat with other older farang men- utter boredom for a 20 something thai girl- no wonder that they always want to go and visit, party with or spend the night "with their girlfriends" or "sister". Its not that the girls are left alone, its just that they want some excitement. What is surprising is that the husbands in these cases are mostly oblivious to what is going under their noses. While on the surface what you said may make logical sense but Socially Thai men and Thai women rarely interact, apart from reasons of sex, if you go to a Thai social event, the men gather in one area and the women gather in another (a bit like Australia) When it comes to going out, almost ALL men prefer to sit in bars or visit friends houses and chat to other men - utter boredom for a any-something girl A Thai lady of any age has almost nothing in common with a foreigner of any age (and it's a rare foreigner who can chat to a Thai lady), but younger foreign guys do like to think it's an age difference thing, so of course their girl would be different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schooner Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 "You gotta konow when to hold 'em and know when to fold em...la la la" Sorry, don't mean to sound insensitive but there is a lesson in this for you. I would "fold em" and walk away and hope that you learned the lesson. I came here to sort some stuff out for myself, it's not about them it is about you. What I love about my experence here is how it has thrown my judgement tis way and that, but I have folded a few times and hopefully learned my lesson. I would not throw good money after bad and I would certainly not confront her. I would just walk away because that is the lesson, being secure enough in yourself to be certain you have the strength to walk away when you need to. It does take practice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExpatJ Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 (edited) I stand by what i said and it does make logical sense- at the end of the day a 20 something young thai girl with 40+++ farang man have little in common- and when it comes to going out, the older farang men prefer to sit in bars or visit friends houses and chat with other older farang men- utter boredom for a 20 something thai girl- no wonder that they always want to go and visit, party with or spend the night "with their girlfriends" or "sister". Its not that the girls are left alone, its just that they want some excitement. What is surprising is that the husbands in these cases are mostly oblivious to what is going under their noses. While on the surface what you said may make logical sense but Socially Thai men and Thai women rarely interact, apart from reasons of sex, if you go to a Thai social event, the men gather in one area and the women gather in another (a bit like Australia) When it comes to going out, almost ALL men prefer to sit in bars or visit friends houses and chat to other men - utter boredom for a any-something girl A Thai lady of any age has almost nothing in common with a foreigner of any age (and it's a rare foreigner who can chat to a Thai lady), but younger foreign guys do like to think it's an age difference thing, so of course their girl would be different. Sure some thai women cheat on their young farang husbands- but it happens way more if the husband is older for obvious reasons mentioned above. Even when young thai/older farang couples 'go out together' or in groups- there is almost no interaction- we have all seen the couples /groups- the older farang men nattering away, their young thai wives sitting looking bored in silence or if a couple you see them both sitting in silence for almost the whole evening. Im not a young farang man by the way I know one poor aussie guy (54 married to 29 yr old thai woman) and his wife invites another farang a couple of times a month and they have sex in their home (actually in the aussie guys marital bed so to speak). The aussie guy doesnt drink, average looking, doesnt smoke, treats his wife like a princess- ...but .....difficult to feel sorry for him in some ways because what did he expect marrying a much younger , hot girl ? Infact, ill put my money where my mouth is- if there is any guy here who is married to a younger thai girl (15 yr + age difference), id happily wager a nice sum that your wife is cheating on you- (have to hire a PI to check) Edited April 22, 2011 by ExpatJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SadieMBeagle Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 (edited) A woman's point of view... OP, you say she moved to OZ with you in 2005, 6 years ago. She is now 25 and you are 40. So, when you married, she was only 19 and you were around 34? At 19, a person is very different from who they will become 5, 10, or even sometimes 15 years later. You know this already, as you've already been there. (Are you the same guy you were at age 20? 25? Probably not.) At 34, you were already fully the personality you will be for the rest of your life, while your wife was still growing and changing. Bottom line - she's a different person now than the person you married. Sad to say, but it sounds like it is over. (Also, instead of hiring a PI, have you simply asked her what she's up to over here?) Just my two cents' worth. Good luck! Edited April 22, 2011 by SadieMBeagle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetlejuice Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 A woman's point of view... OP, you say she moved to OZ with you in 2005, 6 years ago. She is now 25 and you are 40. So, when you married, she was only 19 and you were around 34? At 19, a person is very different from who they will become 5, 10, or even sometimes 15 years later. You know this already, as you've already been there. (Are you the same guy you were at age 20? 25? Probably not.) At 34, you were already fully the personality you will be for the rest of your life, while your wife was still growing and changing. Bottom line - she's a different person now than the person you married. Sad to say, but it sounds like it is over. (Also, instead of hiring a PI, have you simply asked her what she's up to over here?) Just my two cents' worth. Good luck! I agree with most of what you say. But if this is the case and the girl has grown out of the relationship, then why does she continue to take advantage and still use bluff and double bluff in order to obtain money from the OP? Why can she not be totally honest and tell the OP that the relationship is over and completely part company from him? I’ll tell you why, it is because she has no wish to be the nice loyal wifey, that’s boring, much more fun to be free and party with her new set of friends, but still keeps the OP in a state of uneasiness, suspense and anxiety because she wants to enjoy the financial benefits that the OP provides in the long term. She wants the support but without the inconveniences of having to be loyal to her partner. It is totally immoral and this is why these kinds of women are regarded with such low esteem. How can anyone blame the guys when they consider some women as materialistic cheats? This is a reputation these women create themselves, not something made up out of pure malice. Even if the OP were playing around or whatever he may have done that cheesed off this girl, if of course that is the case, then the girl must be honest and upfront with him. Have the heard the old saying; you cannot have your cake and eat it. It`s either one or the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metapod Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 (edited) Let me get this straight. You are worried about your wife cheating yet you had no problem going to Phuket with a mate where you no doubt < Snip > a bunch of girls? Isn't that a little bit hypercritical of you? You are in your 40s and she is in her 20s. You have been with her since she was 19? You really think she is with you for anything other than money? You got played like a fool mate. Get some common sense and forget the private eye nonsense. The only thing on your mind right now should be damage control to secure your assets. Edited April 25, 2011 by metisdead Profanity removed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elektrified Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 I don't know about the SMS mobile phone thing since I don't use one but what a sad state of affairs the world is in when spouses make assumptions about each other based on facebook.com postings! OP, you are a policeman, use your gut feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 A woman's point of view... OP, you say she moved to OZ with you in 2005, 6 years ago. She is now 25 and you are 40. So, when you married, she was only 19 and you were around 34? At 19, a person is very different from who they will become 5, 10, or even sometimes 15 years later. You know this already, as you've already been there. (Are you the same guy you were at age 20? 25? Probably not.) At 34, you were already fully the personality you will be for the rest of your life, while your wife was still growing and changing. Bottom line - she's a different person now than the person you married. Sad to say, but it sounds like it is over. (Also, instead of hiring a PI, have you simply asked her what she's up to over here?) Just my two cents' worth. Good luck! I agree with most of what you say. But if this is the case and the girl has grown out of the relationship, then why does she continue to take advantage and still use bluff and double bluff in order to obtain money from the OP? Why can she not be totally honest and tell the OP that the relationship is over and completely part company from him? I'll tell you why, it is because she has no wish to be the nice loyal wifey, that's boring, much more fun to be free and party with her new set of friends, but still keeps the OP in a state of uneasiness, suspense and anxiety because she wants to enjoy the financial benefits that the OP provides in the long term. She wants the support but without the inconveniences of having to be loyal to her partner. It is totally immoral and this is why these kinds of women are regarded with such low esteem. How can anyone blame the guys when they consider some women as materialistic cheats? This is a reputation these women create themselves, not something made up out of pure malice. Even if the OP were playing around or whatever he may have done that cheesed off this girl, if of course that is the case, then the girl must be honest and upfront with him. Have the heard the old saying; you cannot have your cake and eat it. It`s either one or the other. You can have your cake and eat it as long as it lasts. If you've spent a lot of effort and put a lot into the cake, and you intersperse it with other snacks, it could last a long time... If the only problem that the OP is suffering from is an outraged sense of possesiveness, then perhaps its time to move on to find a more meek and timid - and preferably less attractive - partner. SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bpuumike Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 In a similar vein, can anyone confirm that mobile phone coverage is down in Kalasin (especially around Khao Wong) due to recent storm damage, or give me a mobile number I can call to check.<BR><BR><BR> <BR>Sorry been there done that . I have heard all , all the excuses, before,<BR><BR> Phone got wet, had to dry it.<BR><BR> No credit on my phone.<BR><BR> No phone signal.<BR><BR> Had No Money been to Bank. {The bank must have been in China because she has been gone 2/3 weeks}<BR><BR> Daughter/ Son /Mam/Papa/Grandma/ Grandpa/ Buffalo not well.or died<BR><BR> Been in hospital,l motorbike accident.<BR><BR> Also they just do not phone and go missing for long/short periods.<BR><BR> Some times the answers in your face and you do not want to see it ,Its hard but I think you know already. many people have been there,<BR><BR> You will never have piece of mind till you take some action, <BR><BR> Best wishes.<BR><BR><BR><BR> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darrenr Posted April 25, 2011 Author Share Posted April 25, 2011 UPDATE: Hello all many thanks to you all for your comments and advice and trust me i have taken them on board. I have questioned her about not anwering my SMS;s straight away and she told me that sometimes she keeps the credit low on her phone because her girlfriends ask to use her phone and her credit up, also i suppose it is reasonable to assume that when you send an SMS it does not always get delivered or sent immediately from either country ? Probably in her defence there has been songkran where she went to the village and past week or so is in the process of moving her shop from city to city so she is busy there as well. About the facebook removal of my photos (which came as a shock to her insisting they were on facebook) she states that her girlfriend who can only speak thai ( works at a cloths store i have met her) was using her facebook account and accidently deleted them and two of her photos that were all contained in the one Album of her photos section on facebook. When i confronted her on this the girl arrived a short time later and i saw (Skype) my wife talk thai and they both laughed indicating to me maybe she did delete the photos and did not tell my wife. Girl friend does not know her password. I told her to stop giving other people access to computer. She says: why if you thinnk i have Gik or sammy noi (BF or other husband) i dont change my password to facebook and my email account ( which she has told me the passwords), which is true (although could have alternative accounts) I have checked ThaiLoveLinks.com etc and cant see her on website. Still has not asked for any money, has access to credit card and could clean out if she want ( i have reduced the limit ), knows i am not rich and would stand to get a maximum of $40,000 australian dollars if we split Next visit i am going to go over about 4 days earlier and observe ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loz Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I hope you enjoyed the ride. Now find a new one. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjie Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Forgot to say Land in my womans rural village is 10,000bht per rai in the centre on a paved road, falling to 5,000bht per rai out in the wilds on a dirt road. Maybe double that price if they know a white man is paying for it. Sorry but I really doubt those prices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falkan Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 save what you can save before it explodes... try to recover as much money as possible and empty bank accounts before the big booooom, Sounds like she just used you for money.. issan lady heheh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adz7202 Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 I USED A COMPANY CALLED www.huahinpi.com , VERY GOOD SERVICE AND NOT OUT TO RIP YOU OFF. I KNOW THEY DO THE HUA HIN , CHA-AM AREA BUT DON'T KNOW IF THEY COVER ANYWHERE ELSE IN THAILAND Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharp Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Forgot to say Land in my womans rural village is 10,000bht per rai in the centre on a paved road, falling to 5,000bht per rai out in the wilds on a dirt road. Maybe double that price if they know a white man is paying for it. Sorry but I really doubt those prices. +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharp Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 UPDATE:Hello all many thanks to you all for your comments and advice and trust me i have taken them on board. I have questioned her about not anwering my SMS;s straight away and she told me that sometimes she keeps the credit low on her phone because her girlfriends ask to use her phone and her credit up, also i suppose it is reasonable to assume that when you send an SMS it does not always get delivered or sent immediately from either country ? Probably in her defence there has been songkran where she went to the village and past week or so is in the process of moving her shop from city to city so she is busy there as well. About the facebook removal of my photos (which came as a shock to her insisting they were on facebook) she states that her girlfriend who can only speak thai ( works at a cloths store i have met her) was using her facebook account and accidently deleted them and two of her photos that were all contained in the one Album of her photos section on facebook. When i confronted her on this the girl arrived a short time later and i saw (Skype) my wife talk thai and they both laughed indicating to me maybe she did delete the photos and did not tell my wife. Girl friend does not know her password. I told her to stop giving other people access to computer. She says: why if you thinnk i have Gik or sammy noi (BF or other husband) i dont change my password to facebook and my email account ( which she has told me the passwords), which is true (although could have alternative accounts) I have checked ThaiLoveLinks.com etc and cant see her on website. Still has not asked for any money, has access to credit card and could clean out if she want ( i have reduced the limit ), knows i am not rich and would stand to get a maximum of $40,000 australian dollars if we split Next visit i am going to go over about 4 days earlier and observe ! Can u not see the holes in this ,really ..... One everyday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 (edited) I hate to say this because it probably applies to quite a few folks on thaivisa- but in my experience in every marriage where the thai wife is 15+ years or so younger than the farang husband, the wife has been cheating on him normally with younger thai or farang men. But i guess that's the price men pay for marrying hot younger girls... I have no problem with my dependents wanting to play independently of me, as long as there isn't any lying going on. And if they want to know the details of my extracurricular activities I will share with them, but they know from the beginning that it's an open relationships and usually prefer not to know the gory details. Only way to go IMO, and of course nothing to do with "cheating". Just make sure both sides are getting good value for what their giving, don't shell out too far in advance and be willing to deal fairly with changing circumstances. To the OP definitely protect yourself if she sniffs out that you're about to pull the ripcord she might move fast to get what cash she can quickly. I would never allow that level of exposure myself, better to not even let them know the full picture of your income/assets. Edited May 30, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheyCallmeScooter Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 (edited) I think the removal of your pics off facebook is the most telling Yep. Facebook is a creep's paradise because people can't help themselves. They will tell you almost anything over time, and the story about the g/f deleting the photos sounds a little ridiculous. If my g/f did the same thing I would assume I was dumped, I imagine. But communication sounds trickier than it should be, if you don't mind me saying so. It's bemusing that so many people who participate in high-drama relationships seem confused about the communication issue. If something is unclear, it can be cleared up instantly. If it cannot or has not been, the confusion is your answer. Then again, we've all been there (lying to ourselves, I mean). I believe it's called "thinking POSITIVE"; which is another way of saying "thinking INACCURATELY". In regards to your request, I had a top experience with www.helpbkk.com a couple of years back. The advice I received was brilliant from Malcolm; couldn't have asked for more actually. A+ for me. Edited May 30, 2012 by TheyCallmeScooter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanLaew Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 .... Infact, ill put my money where my mouth is- if there is any guy here who is married to a younger thai girl (15 yr + age difference), id happily wager a nice sum that your wife is cheating on you- (have to hire a PI to check) Bring it on! Don't worry about the PI; the incredibly young, devastatingly beautiful and wonderfully talented Mrs NL's brother just happens to be a PI so it won't cost me a dime! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanLaew Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 In response to the OP, she is on serious mindf*ck with you. She hasn't forgiven you for the Phuket holiday with your buddies. It's NOT like Vegas and anything that happens does NOT stay there. OR You are too controlling. References to watching bank accounts 'like a hawk', having access to her social media accounts and expecting 'instant' responses to your sms messages are all very telling. Out of sight is out of mind. OR (much more likely) She is gambling. The litany of 'failed' business endeavors that the OP paid for but never made any money is because she is frittering away the business and any income on cards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dimplejoe Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 This link will track her mobile - it's free and really works - http://www.trackapartner.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookMan Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 This link will track her mobile - it's free and really works - http://www.trackapartner.com/ okay then.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aneliane Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I'll do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
965purity Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 I USED A COMPANY CALLED www.huahinpi.com , VERY GOOD SERVICE AND NOT OUT TO RIP YOU OFF. I KNOW THEY DO THE HUA HIN , CHA-AM AREA BUT DON'T KNOW IF THEY COVER ANYWHERE ELSE IN THAILAND It's extremely unlikely that you did anything of the sort, considering that the domain you cite was only registered 3 days before you posted. Domain History via DomainTools here What's more likely is that you're a spammer, given that you revived a topic that had been dormant for one year, and the fact that a web search on your user name readily reveals posts on another forum where you announce this "service" that you've found. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simple1 Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 (edited) Duplicate Edited May 31, 2012 by simple1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theoldgit Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 ^^^^^ That's very interesting, thanks, I think I can delete that link from my favourites folder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Too bad the forum software doesn't pop up a "you are replying to a **really** old thread" are you sure you want to continue? Of course should do this to all subsequent posts not just the (possibly spamming) resuscitating one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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