Chiang Mai, Loi Kroh Road

[uptheos]

most will say 'we met in a restaurant' which is sort of 'code' for bar - who cares if they are happy 'live and let live' but personally I don't really get it (that they could be with someone who has slept with tons of guys for cash - not saying it's wrong but... I wouldn't marry one or make a girlfriend of one)

I never ask a guy where he met his wife.

I might ask where she's from, but I never put him on the spot and ask him where he met her. That's his private business that has nothing to do with anyone else busybodying themselves.

FTR - I met mine in bed.......make of that whatever you want.

Edited January 28, 2013 by uptheos

[dickyknee]

It amazes me how naive some people are about what they think they know about what people know about their partners.

[AngelsLariat]

most will say 'we met in a restaurant' which is sort of 'code' for bar - who cares if they are happy 'live and let live' but personally I don't really get it (that they could be with someone who has slept with tons of guys for cash - not saying it's wrong but... I wouldn't marry one or make a girlfriend of one)

I'm not criticizing the guys at all. If they are happy, good for them. I've just not known anyone personally who would do such a thing. I would think one would have to have rather low self-esteem to do it.

Not sure which party is the one with low self-esteem though. There are lot's of dodgy farangs in Thailand who if they were back home would be sleeping alone if not sleeping in their own vomit. So when a bar girl marries a farang, I too might jump to the conclusion that one party or the other has low self-esteem but I wouldn't necessarily assume that it's the farang. A lot of these bar girls could do better.

Edited January 29, 2013 by AngelsLariat

[Rinrada]

Back on subject:

Had a quick Heinekin in Spottis the other night ...just for old times sake of course but 130 Bt...........arggg.....

another one OFF the list..TG ...OB - RL - CMS-No1-Rabbits...dig the muzak...man

[rene123]

Does it really MATTER what the "little woman" did in her previous existance? I have known many women back in Canada who slept with many men before they got married. Some remained true to their husband and some played around when her husband was away. I don't see any difference between them and an ex bar gal who finally marries a man who will love and take care of her. It is what happens AFTER a couple gets married that is important. I would hazard a guess that as many marriages between regular folks and the bar scene group, fail or succeed in equal numbers. Even if couples are happy for only a few years then it could be called a success. There is an old but true saying... Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

[AngelsLariat]

The worst kind of prostitute is the one that chases men because of their money and when they feel comfortable rip them off for all they are worth. These girls don't come from the bars - that's too low class for them. Its happened to many men, me included. In my case she hated 'bar' girls and so on and from her Hi-So position looked down on these working girls. Sadly she is/was far worse in her behaviour than them because she lied through her teeth and pretended that she was with you for other reasons ........ at least with bar girls you are meeting people who are honest about what they do. A lot of the girls in Loh Kroh come from tough backgrounds - they are there to survive and they deserve our respect and deserve to be treated well. Obviously there's always a bad apple but I'm writing generalisms here. Beware of the girls with degrees, MBAs, real Louis Vuittons, professions such as Civil Engineer. They can be liars and scammers, just like my ex.

There's no question that "normal" Thai women are quite good at draining a farang's savings.

[stacks]

There's no question that "normal" women are quite good at draining a man's savings.

fixed.

[wolf5370]

<snip..too many quotes>

most will say 'we met in a restaurant' which is sort of 'code' for bar - who cares if they are happy 'live and let live' but personally I don't really get it (that they could be with someone who has slept with tons of guys for cash - not saying it's wrong but... I wouldn't marry one or make a girlfriend of one)

Is the problem "for cash" or "slept with tons of guys" for it? If the former, they should be punished for making money? if the latter, how is this different form non-prostitutes that slept around (and lets face it there are going to be lots of those - both men and women).

My point being, that most men have no idea of the sexual history of the women they meet - especially later in life. It's not exactly like they carry around a score board (other then in their heads I guess). Past performance is no indication of future performance and all that. Indeed, virgins are more likely to wander (for experimentation/comparison) than a women that has experience these days IMO (there are mitigators to this of course - such as cultural, religious or even contractual obsticles to such "wanderings").

People live a long time - we change over our lifetimes as our experience and ecconomics change and our blood chemistry too (hormones et al) - surely marriage is about finding the right partner, that being one that closely matches you needs, support requirements (not just fiscal) and future potential - their past could be an issue, but usually only if you let it. Damage and mental scaring is no more inherent to prostitution (in this country at least) than other historical events that could happen to impressionable youngersters - ideed, ex- prostitutes may well be better positioned (through survival of the fittest and experience) to weather such issues, where "daddy's little girl" might not be.

I know many mixed couples both here and at home in the UK. Some I know come form the bar, some form "regular" jobs, some and some straight from university. A few (very few if truth be told) turned out to be gold diggers (although thgis was obvious, all bar one case I can think of, to anyone with eyes well before marriage came about) - most of which were from the bar sect. However, unless you knew which was which, generally you could not tell the difference - I mean with regards to their relationships and the family that came from it rather than personal/education/etc (even that only usually identified the garduates and middle calss off-spring, not the BGs vs non-BGs).

It may also be interesting to note other threads and news items here that talk about the amount of prostituting even well-to-do university students are invovled in to cover the costs of living/full time education and those little extras (like IPhones etc). Even those hi-so like uni grads may well have "slept with tons of guys for cash"

[daoyai]

@rene123 "isnt it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved?" ....... that would depend entirely on the extent of the losses .

[Oscar2]

...- their past could be an issue, but usually only if you let it. Damage and mental scaring is no more inherent to prostitution (in this country at least) than other historical events that could happen to impressionable youngersters - ideed, ex- prostitutes may well be better positioned (through survival of the fittest and experience) to weather such issues, where "daddy's little girl" might not be.

lol a psychiatrist would have a field day with your line of thinking. many of these sex-workers have been beaten senseless, addicted to methamphetamine for many years, raped, robbed, spent time in prison... but hey they are not 'damaged' nor have any mental scaring according to your estimation? ever read any psychology books, taken group therapy, or known any dysfunctional people that came from dysfunctional families?

Edited January 30, 2013 by Oscar2

[DLock]

<snip..too many quotes>

most will say 'we met in a restaurant' which is sort of 'code' for bar - who cares if they are happy 'live and let live' but personally I don't really get it (that they could be with someone who has slept with tons of guys for cash - not saying it's wrong but... I wouldn't marry one or make a girlfriend of one)

Is the problem "for cash" or "slept with tons of guys" for it? If the former, they should be punished for making money? if the latter, how is this different form non-prostitutes that slept around (and lets face it there are going to be lots of those - both men and women).

My point being, that most men have no idea of the sexual history of the women they meet - especially later in life. It's not exactly like they carry around a score board (other then in their heads I guess). Past performance is no indication of future performance and all that. Indeed, virgins are more likely to wander (for experimentation/comparison) than a women that has experience these days IMO (there are mitigators to this of course - such as cultural, religious or even contractual obsticles to such "wanderings").

People live a long time - we change over our lifetimes as our experience and ecconomics change and our blood chemistry too (hormones et al) - surely marriage is about finding the right partner, that being one that closely matches you needs, support requirements (not just fiscal) and future potential - their past could be an issue, but usually only if you let it. Damage and mental scaring is no more inherent to prostitution (in this country at least) than other historical events that could happen to impressionable youngersters - ideed, ex- prostitutes may well be better positioned (through survival of the fittest and experience) to weather such issues, where "daddy's little girl" might not be.

I know many mixed couples both here and at home in the UK. Some I know come form the bar, some form "regular" jobs, some and some straight from university. A few (very few if truth be told) turned out to be gold diggers (although thgis was obvious, all bar one case I can think of, to anyone with eyes well before marriage came about) - most of which were from the bar sect. However, unless you knew which was which, generally you could not tell the difference - I mean with regards to their relationships and the family that came from it rather than personal/education/etc (even that only usually identified the garduates and middle calss off-spring, not the BGs vs non-BGs).

It may also be interesting to note other threads and news items here that talk about the amount of prostituting even well-to-do university students are invovled in to cover the costs of living/full time education and those little extras (like IPhones etc). Even those hi-so like uni grads may well have "slept with tons of guys for cash"

I guess you can rationalize anything if you really want to.

[wolf5370]

...- their past could be an issue, but usually only if you let it. Damage and mental scaring is no more inherent to prostitution (in this country at least) than other historical events that could happen to impressionable youngersters - ideed, ex- prostitutes may well be better positioned (through survival of the fittest and experience) to weather such issues, where "daddy's little girl" might not be.

lol a psychiatrist would have a field day with your line of thinking. many of these sex-workers have been beaten senseless, addicted to methamphetamine for many years, raped, robbed, spent time in prison... but hey they are not 'damaged' nor have any mental scaring according to your estimation? ever read any psychology books, taken group therapy, or known any dysfunctional people that came from dysfunctional families?

I never said "they are not damaged" nor that "they have no mental scarring" - indeed, I inferred the opposite - I merely pointed out that this is not only the case for ex-prositutes - or are you saying molested children are not scarred and damaged also?

I was really talking with respect to Bar Girls that farangs are likely to marry - the context of thhis thread - I was not talking about brothel trafficked sex slaves - there is a whole spectrum here and sure many will be damaged and scarred - this is not within the context of my post though. Bar Girls here are generally not drug addled, trafficked, rape victims - those that are, are probably not likely to end up married to a farang anyway.

It is always easy to intentionally misread a quote or de-contextualise it (the media does it all the time) - this doesn't make you smart, it just makes your soap box somewhat shabby.

[wolf5370]

<snip..too many quotes>

most will say 'we met in a restaurant' which is sort of 'code' for bar - who cares if they are happy 'live and let live' but personally I don't really get it (that they could be with someone who has slept with tons of guys for cash - not saying it's wrong but... I wouldn't marry one or make a girlfriend of one)

Is the problem "for cash" or "slept with tons of guys" for it? If the former, they should be punished for making money? if the latter, how is this different form non-prostitutes that slept around (and lets face it there are going to be lots of those - both men and women).

My point being, that most men have no idea of the sexual history of the women they meet - especially later in life. It's not exactly like they carry around a score board (other then in their heads I guess). Past performance is no indication of future performance and all that. Indeed, virgins are more likely to wander (for experimentation/comparison) than a women that has experience these days IMO (there are mitigators to this of course - such as cultural, religious or even contractual obsticles to such "wanderings").

People live a long time - we change over our lifetimes as our experience and ecconomics change and our blood chemistry too (hormones et al) - surely marriage is about finding the right partner, that being one that closely matches you needs, support requirements (not just fiscal) and future potential - their past could be an issue, but usually only if you let it. Damage and mental scaring is no more inherent to prostitution (in this country at least) than other historical events that could happen to impressionable youngersters - ideed, ex- prostitutes may well be better positioned (through survival of the fittest and experience) to weather such issues, where "daddy's little girl" might not be.

I know many mixed couples both here and at home in the UK. Some I know come form the bar, some form "regular" jobs, some and some straight from university. A few (very few if truth be told) turned out to be gold diggers (although thgis was obvious, all bar one case I can think of, to anyone with eyes well before marriage came about) - most of which were from the bar sect. However, unless you knew which was which, generally you could not tell the difference - I mean with regards to their relationships and the family that came from it rather than personal/education/etc (even that only usually identified the garduates and middle calss off-spring, not the BGs vs non-BGs).

It may also be interesting to note other threads and news items here that talk about the amount of prostituting even well-to-do university students are invovled in to cover the costs of living/full time education and those little extras (like IPhones etc). Even those hi-so like uni grads may well have "slept with tons of guys for cash"

I guess you can rationalize anything if you really want to.

Yes - why should we not be rational then?

I guess your inference (veiled that it is) is that I am trying to rationise my own relationship (?). This is not true, but I am not exactly bothered by that frame of thought, it is somewhat expected. Whenever someone here opposes a general view (however unsupportable or irrational that may be) - it must of course be because (s)he is in denial.

I am interested - are you with 'binjalin' that girls that got caught up prostitution (were a bar girl) deserve no right to shirk off that stigma and make a better life for themselves (or maybe only if it does not involve marriage and family) - perhaps that they should be branded or just stoned to death - then we could avoid them like lepers? After all what an awful sin they have committed - made money out of sleeping around - much worse than doing it for free (or a night out at a club / Italian meal for two / etc).

Bigotry exists in many forms people - lets not fall for it just because "society" tells us it bad and only bad people exist therein.

//Edit: Speelink

Edited January 30, 2013 by wolf5370

[rene123]

...- their past could be an issue, but usually only if you let it. Damage and mental scaring is no more inherent to prostitution (in this country at least) than other historical events that could happen to impressionable youngersters - ideed, ex- prostitutes may well be better positioned (through survival of the fittest and experience) to weather such issues, where "daddy's little girl" might not be.

lol a psychiatrist would have a field day with your line of thinking. many of these sex-workers have been beaten senseless, addicted to methamphetamine for many years, raped, robbed, spent time in prison... but hey they are not 'damaged' nor have any mental scaring according to your estimation? ever read any psychology books, taken group therapy, or known any dysfunctional people that came from dysfunctional families?

And many so called "normal" women have been beaten and raped by their husbands and boyfriends. There are many so called "normal" women who also take drugs or drink to excess. And, speaking of dysfunctional people you obviously enjoy poking your nose in other people's closets and then run around telling everyone about it. Some people like yourself enjoy believing the worst of people and never allow them the chance to change. At least the women who work in Thai bars are not hypocrites. They are honest about what they do. Hypocrites are the worst type of slime.

[AngelsLariat]

...- their past could be an issue, but usually only if you let it. Damage and mental scaring is no more inherent to prostitution (in this country at least) than other historical events that could happen to impressionable youngersters - ideed, ex- prostitutes may well be better positioned (through survival of the fittest and experience) to weather such issues, where "daddy's little girl" might not be.

lol a psychiatrist would have a field day with your line of thinking. many of these sex-workers have been beaten senseless, addicted to methamphetamine for many years, raped, robbed, spent time in prison... but hey they are not 'damaged' nor have any mental scaring according to your estimation? ever read any psychology books, taken group therapy, or known any dysfunctional people that came from dysfunctional families?

And many so called "normal" women have been beaten and raped by their husbands and boyfriends. There are many so called "normal" women who also take drugs or drink to excess. And, speaking of dysfunctional people you obviously enjoy poking your nose in other people's closets and then run around telling everyone about it. Some people like yourself enjoy believing the worst of people and never allow them the chance to change. At least the women who work in Thai bars are not hypocrites. They are honest about what they do. Hypocrites are the worst type of slime.

Working in a bar and being a hypocrite are not mutually exclusive. Maybe they are no worse than any other women but it's a bit silly to be putting them on a pedestal.

[Ulysses G.]

I think that the point is that women who work in bars are often not any less moral than many who don't.

[rene123]

Working in a bar and being a hypocrite are not mutually exclusive. Maybe they are no worse than any other women but it's a bit silly to be putting them on a pedestal.

Nobody is putting them on a pedestal. You just can't generalize about them other than they've probably had some misfortune somewhere along the way that caused them to choose a bar as a form of occupation. Nobody knows what anyone's morals are like until you've spent a lot of time with that particular person. Even then you might be fooled.

[DLock]

<snip..too many quotes>

most will say 'we met in a restaurant' which is sort of 'code' for bar - who cares if they are happy 'live and let live' but personally I don't really get it (that they could be with someone who has slept with tons of guys for cash - not saying it's wrong but... I wouldn't marry one or make a girlfriend of one)

Is the problem "for cash" or "slept with tons of guys" for it? If the former, they should be punished for making money? if the latter, how is this different form non-prostitutes that slept around (and lets face it there are going to be lots of those - both men and women).

My point being, that most men have no idea of the sexual history of the women they meet - especially later in life. It's not exactly like they carry around a score board (other then in their heads I guess). Past performance is no indication of future performance and all that. Indeed, virgins are more likely to wander (for experimentation/comparison) than a women that has experience these days IMO (there are mitigators to this of course - such as cultural, religious or even contractual obsticles to such "wanderings").

People live a long time - we change over our lifetimes as our experience and ecconomics change and our blood chemistry too (hormones et al) - surely marriage is about finding the right partner, that being one that closely matches you needs, support requirements (not just fiscal) and future potential - their past could be an issue, but usually only if you let it. Damage and mental scaring is no more inherent to prostitution (in this country at least) than other historical events that could happen to impressionable youngersters - ideed, ex- prostitutes may well be better positioned (through survival of the fittest and experience) to weather such issues, where "daddy's little girl" might not be.

I know many mixed couples both here and at home in the UK. Some I know come form the bar, some form "regular" jobs, some and some straight from university. A few (very few if truth be told) turned out to be gold diggers (although thgis was obvious, all bar one case I can think of, to anyone with eyes well before marriage came about) - most of which were from the bar sect. However, unless you knew which was which, generally you could not tell the difference - I mean with regards to their relationships and the family that came from it rather than personal/education/etc (even that only usually identified the garduates and middle calss off-spring, not the BGs vs non-BGs).

It may also be interesting to note other threads and news items here that talk about the amount of prostituting even well-to-do university students are invovled in to cover the costs of living/full time education and those little extras (like IPhones etc). Even those hi-so like uni grads may well have "slept with tons of guys for cash"

I guess you can rationalize anything if you really want to.

Yes - why should we not be rational then?

I guess your inference (veiled that it is) is that I am trying to rationise my own relationship (?). This is not true, but I am not exactly bothered by that frame of thought, it is somewhat expected. Whenever someone here opposes a general view (however unsupportable or irrational that may be) - it must of course be because (s)he is in denial.

I am interested - are you with 'binjalin' that girls that got caught up prostitution (were a bar girl) deserve no right to shirk off that stigma and make a better life for themselves (or maybe only if it does not involve marriage and family) - perhaps that they should be branded or just stoned to death - then we could avoid them like lepers? After all what an awful sin they have committed - made money out of sleeping around - much worse than doing it for free (or a night out at a club / Italian meal for two / etc).

Bigotry exists in many forms people - lets not fall for it just because "society" tells us it bad and only bad people exist therein.

//Edit: Speelink

I have nothing against bar girls. Nor do I have against the men that enjoy their company or marry them.

It's just that I have no desire to knowingly consider a relationship with such a girl. I don't think there is anything wrong with admitting that I would mentally struggle with knowing my Partner had slept with 3,000 guys. Regardless that she may make a great wife, I just believe that there are many more options out there than knowingly selecting a girl from a bar.

Suggesting bigotry or hypocrisy for my preference for non-working girls is weak and flawed.

But I can never rationalize in my mind that it's ok to have a bargirl as a wife.

[amexpat]

As you like, DLock, but must you quote the whole thread? Thanks for your attention.

[DLock]

As you like, DLock, but must you quote the whole thread? Thanks for your attention.

Yes, it was too hard to delete all the previous quote structure.

But thanks for letting me know it bothers you.

I shall try harder in the future.

[amexpat]

Yes, it was too hard to delete all the previous quote structure.

But thanks for letting me know it bothers you.

I shall try harder in the future.

Thanks. I may not be the only one it bothers. But I do understand that cut, paste, etc. can be difficult for some people to learn.

Forum Netiquette

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#1sbk

Mistress Whiplash

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Posted 2009-04-05 09:45:23

Some general guidelines for posting:

.............

5. Please do not quote multiple nested quotes. Quote only the relevant section that you are discussing. Moderators will snip excessively long nested quotes.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

It's just that I have no desire to knowingly consider a relationship with such a girl. I don't think there is anything wrong with admitting that I would mentally struggle with knowing my Partner had slept with 3,000 guys.

It'd be very unlikely to clock up that many in Chiang Mai in an average career. But regardless of the number, I take it that there would be nothing wrong with a man who manages to sleep with (say) 500 women before getting married?

[ianf]

It's just that I have no desire to knowingly consider a relationship with such a girl. I don't think there is anything wrong with admitting that I would mentally struggle with knowing my Partner had slept with 3,000 guys.

It'd be very unlikely to clock up that many in Chiang Mai in an average career. But regardless of the number, I take it that there would be nothing wrong with a man who manages to sleep with (say) 500 women before getting married?

Wells said Winnie! Meanwhile my partner (not an ex bar girl) feels sorry for many bar girls and tells me stories of how girls from her area were forced into bars by parents. That's so bad.

[muchogra]

Quote: "...I take it that there would be nothing wrong with a man who manages to sleep with (say) 500 women before getting married?"

You may ask that again if you tell us that you would condone your daughter the same way you condone your son for sleeping around! Duh!

Men are like dogs. Many can make out in public as long as there is a hole they can drill into. For the females, excluding the professionals, I always believe that they have a certain affections for the man for them to get intimate with them.

Add to that, men don't get pregnant, women do! Many working girls in Thailand are single mothers. I sympathize them! That's why I usually dish out more when I visit, but I keep my distance. It's quite enjoyabe talking to some of them, but not getting onto bed. Having said that, many also work the profession for materialistic gain! That's a fact.

[naboo]

You may ask that again if you tell us that you would condone your daughter the same way you condone your son for sleeping around! Duh!

For every woman a man has slept with, a woman has slept with a man also. Therefore, the average (heterosexual) man has slept with the same number of women as the average (heterosexual) woman. Its just we perceive women to sleep around less, and they're much better at hiding it.

[muchogra]

You may ask that again if you tell us that you would condone your daughter the same way you condone your son for sleeping around! Duh!

For every woman a man has slept with, a woman has slept with a man also. Therefore, the average (heterosexual) man has slept with the same number of women as the average (heterosexual) woman. Its just we perceive women to sleep around less, and they're much better at hiding it.

naboo, you're bringing in professionals and promiscuous women into the statistics! I'm talking about ordinary people like you and me; and us, hopefully! Ordinary women have more self-esteem and shame than men. Some men are plain awful. To say and imply men and women are equal are hypocritical to me for they are equal in certain ways and not in other ways, like sleeping around going for this equality &lt;deleted&gt;. My father never knew how to even boil water before my mother got paralyzed. He subsequently took care of her for learned how to cook. I never did any cooking before, but I now cook for my wife. Why does one need to bother to draw a black and white line to create conflicts!

[naboo]

naboo, you're bringing in professionals and promiscuous women into the statistics!

Oh! Heaven forbid we bring promiscuous men into the statistics! And the professionals - don't tell me there are no gigolos in Chiang Mai, I've met a couple, one Thai, one Farang. Not a job I'd be up for from what I've heard, but a job that needs to be done none the less.

Edited January 31, 2013 by naboo

[muchogra]

Quote: "... don't tell me there are no gigolos in Chiang Mai, I've met a couple, one Thai, one Farang. Not a job I'd be up for from what I've heard, but a job that needs to be done none the less."

A job that needs to be done?

I wish I have your attitude thinking the females are like some men who have no shame, but I don't!

Once an individual doesn't feel shame (sometimes they call it FACE), it signals a decay!

[rene123]

But I can never rationalize in my mind that it's ok to have a bargirl as a wife.

That is a fair enough answer, DLock. At least you are honest in your personal choices. Some men won't have anything but a virgin as potential bride.

I just find it hypocritical of a man who insists that his potential partner is relatively innocent when it comes to sex, and yet has personally acted like a randy rabbit from the time he reached puberty. I'm not saying that is you, but it is true of many men.

[rene123]

I wish I have your attitude thinking the females are like some men who have no shame, but I don't!

Once an individual doesn't feel shame (sometimes they call it FACE), it signals a decay!

Are you saying that a single person should feel shame for having sex with another single person? What time warp did you come out of? Children are having sex at the age of 13 or younger, today. However, I do believe that on average, men are naturally more randy than females, but that doesn't mean we are all alike. I remember some of my school girl friends bragging that they had, had sex with every member of the football team. Later in life they acted like prim and proper high society women, but I knew their past.