Mulling Things Over

[smokie36]

Been concerned about my boozing for some time now and read a fair bit on this forum these last few weeks.

Allow me to share a bit of my story so far.

My first experience with alcohol was at 9 and coinidentally was my first blackout. By 16 I had progressed to cashing cheques in the pub and had my second resulting in a trip to hospital.

By my twenties I had progressed to most available class A drugs and to be fair had some great years....well I think I did...I only remember the good times really.

As I reached 30 the urge to take these diminished for me and I went cold turkey....moving off to Shetland for a year and getting myself 'clean'.

Well clean of everything but booze that is. The following couple of years my spirits intake went through the roof with quite a few more blackouts until I finally called a halt and stuck to drinking pints.

Now I seem to go through cycles of drinking almost like a biorythm....right now I'm at the low ebb having just a couple of beers a day but I know I'll be craving a beer at 5pm every day...the extra couple will creep in and then the cider....

Any thoughts on where I'm at would be welcome.

[StreetCowboy]

Good God, Man, moving to Shetland's a bit strong, isn't it?

SC

Edited May 1, 2011 by StreetCowboy

[smokie36]

Good God, Man, moving to Shetland's a bit strong, isn't it?

SC

Well I moved there to escape the temptation to shovel powder up my nose. Worked a treat. Lovely place...great people.

Boring as hell though after a few months.

The bars opened at 9am and closed at 3am but I always knew where to go for a lock in thankfully.

[Mobi]

There is a fine line between a 'heavy drinker' and an alcoholic. Further, many alcoholics often cross over that line at some stage in their drinking careers when 'controlled' drinking becomes 'out of control' and they develop into full blown alcoholics. This typically happens late in life (as it did with me) but in fact can happen at any age, even in one's teens.

Your experience of 'blackouts' and a 'craving for beer every day at 5 p.m.' and indeed your experiences as far back as your teenage years are indicators that you may well be close to that line, if you haven't already crossed it long ago.

Don't be fooled by you ability to go 'cold turkey' for a period of time. Most alcoholics can do this, and when they fall off the wagon, they often become even heavier drinkers than before, which seems to have happened in your case.

Maybe you should think about going to AA. It can be very useful and you don't have to embrace the whole programme to derive some benefit.

[smokie36]

There is a fine line between a 'heavy drinker' and an alcoholic. Further, many alcoholics often cross over that line at some stage in their drinking careers when 'controlled' drinking becomes 'out of control' and they develop into full blown alcoholics. This typically happens late in life (as it did with me) but in fact can happen at any age, even in one's teens.

Your experience of 'blackouts' and a 'craving for beer every day at 5 p.m.' and indeed your experiences as far back as your teenage years are indicators that you may well be close to that line, if you haven't already crossed it long ago.

Don't be fooled by you ability to go 'cold turkey' for a period of time. Most alcoholics can do this, and when they fall off the wagon, they often become even heavier drinkers than before, which seems to have happened in your case.

Maybe you should think about going to AA. It can be very useful and you don't have to embrace the whole programme to derive some benefit.

When I have the time its only a matter of when not if.

Thanks for your reply Mobi....maybe I'll pop along to a meeting soon.

[H2oDunc]

Smokie the fact you can realise your problem means it is really easy to fix. You just have to want to fix it. Whether it is drink or drugs, other people wanting you to stop will never have the same effect as you wanting to stop. The first step is accepting you have a problem which you have done. You now just have to come up with a plan that is good for you and your partner if you have one. Try starting to just have a drink on the weekend or stop all together. It is down to you and your partner to work out.

The fact you can hold down a job and you are not known on TV as a poster that post <deleted> when pissed tells me your problem as you see it isn't as bad as you may think.

Good luck in your endeavour

[StreetCowboy]

Smokie the fact you can realise your problem means it is really easy to fix. You just have to want to fix it. Whether it is drink or drugs, other people wanting you to stop will never have the same effect as you wanting to stop. The first step is accepting you have a problem which you have done. You now just have to come up with a plan that is good for you and your partner if you have one. Try starting to just have a drink on the weekend or stop all together. It is down to you and your partner to work out.

The fact you can hold down a job and you are not known on TV as a poster that post <deleted> when pissed tells me your problem as you see it isn't as bad as you may think.

Good luck in your endeavour

Hmmm.

For me, its as easy as not wanting to take the first drink... i.e. not easy at all.

The idea about only drinking at weekends - say, Thursday evening till Monday lunch time, is a pretty good one; and only have one or two the other nights.... that should last a week or two,,,

Of course, its easy to knock other people's ideas, and I should know better. What doesn't work for me might work for others. And besides, until you prove to yourself over and over again that it won't work, you'll probably still think that it might...

Can't be me he's talking about - I post <deleted> when I'm sober as well...

SC

[smokie36]

I'm trying to get the clear perception I had abou this at the start....way back and find a way to deal with it which best suits my situation.

Whether I'm an alcoholic or heavy drinker or pisshead or whatever is unimportant to me....only finding long lasting sobriety and happiness is my goal with this thread.

Thanks for your responses so far.

[Mobi]

I'm trying to get the clear perception I had abou this at the start....way back and find a way to deal with it which best suits my situation.

Whether I'm an alcoholic or heavy drinker or pisshead or whatever is unimportant to me....only finding long lasting sobriety and happiness is my goal with this thread.

Thanks for your responses so far.

I'm sorry if this is not clear to you.

The difference between a heavy drinker and an alcoholic is that a heavy drinker can still control his drinking, whenever and wherever he desires. When he decides that he has had enough, he will call it a day and will not have any desire to keep going all night and so on. He enjoys getting drunk, sometimes almost every day, but is not addicted to booze and can take it or leave it at will. I have known many 'heavy drinkers' in my life, and they all fit this category. They drink when they want to have a good time, or let their hair down with their friends or family, but on other occasions can and do lead relatively sober lives.

An alcoholic cannot do any of this this because he has an addiction.

I'm sorry, but if you were purely a heavy drinker, you would not have started this thread and you would not be confused and you would be confident about your ability to control your alcohol consumption whenever the need arose.

But it seems to me that you cannot do this, so IMHO you do have a problem and you need to seek help.

If you do not wish to put the label of 'alcoholic' on your problem, then fine, you are in very good company here - it really doesn't matter what you call it, but you cannot deny that you have a problem.

Good luck.

[powderpuff]

....only finding long lasting sobriety and happiness is my goal with this thread.

Well that's pretty simple then. Either white knuckle it or go along to an AA meeting & see if you like it. If you like it plan to attend often 4 5 6 days a week for 3 months.

If you can resist the urge for the first drink you are home free.

Ask yourself. Will drinking this/ ... fill in the blank ..../ make anything better?

[StreetCowboy]

....only finding long lasting sobriety and happiness is my goal with this thread.

Well that's pretty simple then. Either white knuckle it or go along to an AA meeting & see if you like it. If you like it plan to attend often 4 5 6 days a week for 3 months.

If you can resist the urge for the first drink you are home free.

Ask yourself. Will drinking this/ ... fill in the blank ..../ make anything better?

Sadly, that is the wrong question to ask, in my opinion. One needs more foresight than that. The only thing wrong with the first drink is the ... well, if I knew which one it was, I'd have stopped earlier.... but anyway, the point is that the problem with the first drink is not the damage it does, but the thirst that it gives you. The question is "WIll things be better tomorrow with an empty wallet and a sore head, or not? And does this drink take me closer to an empty wallet and a sore head, or away from it?

SC

[trisailer]

"...only finding long lasting sobriety and happiness"

I think it's interesting and a little sad that we humans know less about how to operate this body that we walk around with than we do about operating a piece of machinery.

Substances cannot gain an advantage over us except in the vacuum of isolation. Isolation from each other. We live in societies where community, real community has been virtually eliminated by the demand to "suck it up" and preform our duties as we have been taught to do; alone. Unfortunately this leaves us vulnrerable. Anthropologist have known for years what happens to societies when real community is lost. It really does take a village to raise us and to sustain us. It takes empathy and compassion. Most of us havn't a clue of how far we have wandered into the wilderness.

So if isolation is the cause than the solution must be to restore community. This is a huge challange for men because the path back is blocked by our homophobia. Only men can understand the unique experence of men, but we can't talk about it, or more importantly feel it because we fear it. We fear that there may be a sexual component to it, but the exact opposite is true. So we go it alone and women become a substitute and we ride the rollercoaster. Show me a man who is addicted to women and I'll show you a man who is isolated from other men.

It all starts with our fathers. They were well meaning enough, but they too were handicapped. Hobbled by their fathers, they knew no other way. Find the way back to your father (and his father and his father and...) and you will find the way back to your own inner male sprit. I know this now like I know my own name. If we can solve this riddle we can restore balance. We can heal ourselves and in the process heal our fathers and their father going all the way back to the time that men went off the rails. More importantly we can save our sons from the horror of living in isolation.

I did AA and it was an entry way, but my real growth came from processes with men. Some of you guys out there are pretty smart. I wonder if you ever think about this as it relates to substance abuse.

If anyone is interested in exploring this further a good place to start is a book by Robert Bly called Ironjohn. It's available on Kindle.

Edited May 9, 2011 by trisailer

[kerryk]

"...only finding long lasting sobriety and happiness"

I think it's interesting and a little sad that we humans know less about how to operate this body that we walk around with than we do about operating a piece of machinery.

Substances cannot gain an advantage over us except in the vacuum of isolation. Isolation from each other. We live in societies where community, real community has been virtually eliminated by the demand to "suck it up" and preform our duties as we have been taught to do; alone. Unfortunately this leaves us vulnrerable. Anthropologist have known for years what happens to societies when real community is lost. It really does take a village to raise us and to sustain us. It takes empathy and compassion. Most of us havn't a clue of how far we have wandered into the wilderness.

So if isolation is the cause than the solution must be to restore community. This is a huge challange for men because the path back is blocked by our homophobia. Only men can understand the unique experence of men, but we can't talk about it, or more importantly feel it because we fear it. We fear that there may be a sexual component to it, but the exact opposite is true. So we go it alone and women become a substitute and we ride the rollercoaster. Show me a man who is addicted to women and I'll show you a man who is isolated from other men.

It all starts with our fathers. They were well meaning enough, but they too were handicapped. Hobbled by their fathers, they knew no other way. Find the way back to your father (and his father and his father and...) and you will find the way back to your own inner male sprit. I know this now like I know my own name. If we can solve this riddle we can restore balance. We can heal ourselves and in the process heal our fathers and their father going all the way back to the time that men went off the rails. More importantly we can save our sons from the horror of living in isolation.

I did AA and it was an entry way, but my real growth came from processes with men. Some of you guys out there are pretty smart. I wonder if you ever think about this as it relates to substance abuse.

If anyone is interested in exploring this further a good place to start is a book by Robert Bly called Ironjohn. It's available on Kindle.

There is an AA meeting in Pattaya that forbids the discussion of any other substance abuse except alcohol. At least there used to be, been a while since I have been to that meeting. They seem a little obsessive to me. They also forbid the discussion of relationships. You can only talk about alcohol abuse at that particular meeting.

Although I don't agree with their point of view I can understand it. I also don't have the same depth of understanding of substance abuse because it has never been a problem for me.

So, Trisailor I can't give you an answer. I don't know if the same precepts apply to substances as booze. They have different meetings for substance abuse and I would suggest bringing up your points in those meetings. AA is simple and strong but I don't know if it is strong enough to handle substance abusers at the same time as alcohol abusers, Al Anon does that.

[smokie36]

"...only finding long lasting sobriety and happiness"

I think it's interesting and a little sad that we humans know less about how to operate this body that we walk around with than we do about operating a piece of machinery.

Substances cannot gain an advantage over us except in the vacuum of isolation. Isolation from each other. We live in societies where community, real community has been virtually eliminated by the demand to "suck it up" and preform our duties as we have been taught to do; alone. Unfortunately this leaves us vulnrerable. Anthropologist have known for years what happens to societies when real community is lost. It really does take a village to raise us and to sustain us. It takes empathy and compassion. Most of us havn't a clue of how far we have wandered into the wilderness.

So if isolation is the cause than the solution must be to restore community. This is a huge challange for men because the path back is blocked by our homophobia. Only men can understand the unique experence of men, but we can't talk about it, or more importantly feel it because we fear it. We fear that there may be a sexual component to it, but the exact opposite is true. So we go it alone and women become a substitute and we ride the rollercoaster. Show me a man who is addicted to women and I'll show you a man who is isolated from other men.

It all starts with our fathers. They were well meaning enough, but they too were handicapped. Hobbled by their fathers, they knew no other way. Find the way back to your father (and his father and his father and...) and you will find the way back to your own inner male sprit. I know this now like I know my own name. If we can solve this riddle we can restore balance. We can heal ourselves and in the process heal our fathers and their father going all the way back to the time that men went off the rails. More importantly we can save our sons from the horror of living in isolation.

I did AA and it was an entry way, but my real growth came from processes with men. Some of you guys out there are pretty smart. I wonder if you ever think about this as it relates to substance abuse.

If anyone is interested in exploring this further a good place to start is a book by Robert Bly called Ironjohn. It's available on Kindle.

There is an AA meeting in Pattaya that forbids the discussion of any other substance abuse except alcohol. At least there used to be, been a while since I have been to that meeting. They seem a little obsessive to me. They also forbid the discussion of relationships. You can only talk about alcohol abuse at that particular meeting.

Although I don't agree with their point of view I can understand it. I also don't have the same depth of understanding of substance abuse because it has never been a problem for me.

So, Trisailor I can't give you an answer. I don't know if the same precepts apply to substances as booze. They have different meetings for substance abuse and I would suggest bringing up your points in those meetings. AA is simple and strong but I don't know if it is strong enough to handle substance abusers at the same time as alcohol abusers, Al Anon does that.

I have to say I found giving up drugs fairly easy. Its really quite an anti social business unlike alcohol. I would suggest from my experience dealing with the physical withdrawal and removing all sorces is 90% of it. I looked forward, cut off a whole swathe of 'friends' and moved on.

Alcohol is a whole different business it seems to me.

[kerryk]

Not drinking is relatively simple. You don't drink.

If you have to wonder about the difference between a heavy drinker and an alcoholic, the God thing or the consequences of the first drink or second drink or any psychological references to gender or genetic proclivities in my opinion you are thinking a bit much.

I fail to see how understanding why I like to drink has anything to do with not drinking. What percent of people living in Thailand like to drink? Why do Russian people drink more than people from Switzerland? What does that have to do with not drinking? If I know is it going to help me stop drinking?

I am not saying they are not interesting discussions but they offer little help to a person wanting not to drink.

The person sipping cognac, smoking a Cuban cigar with three ladies sitting his lap in a cigar bar might have a different motivation for drinking than the derelict sitting on the curb in front of the 7/11 drinking rice wine. Whatever the motivation or reasons why, AA is still the best chance of both achieving long term sobriety.

Last night I read a number of posts in this forum. Pretty typical parade of people trying different solutions. I have heard a lot of stories in person of people trying a lot of different ways to quit drinking. Rich people, poor people, talented people and dumb people, smart people and stupid people, the best bet is 90 meetings in 90 days. Set aside the time and do it. Probably not a good idea to go to bars for a while even if you drink soda. This isn't brain surgery here. Are you going to keep the same friends that you had when you were a drunk? Probably not. Get over it, you will meet new ones in AA that is part of the logic of 90 meetings in 90 days. Don't over think it. It is a simple solution, 90/90.

[Mobi]

There is an AA meeting in Pattaya that forbids the discussion of any substance abuse other than alcohol. At least there used to be, as it's been a while since I have been to that particular meeting. They seem a little obsessive to me. They also forbid the discussion of relationships. You can only talk about alcohol abuse at that particular meeting.

Although I don't agree with their point of view I can understand it. I also don't have the same depth of understanding of substance abuse because it has never been a problem for me.

So, Trisailor I can't give you an answer. I don't know if the same precepts apply to substances as booze. They have different meetings for substance abuse and I would suggest bringing up your points in those meetings. AA is simple and strong but I don't know if it is strong enough to handle substance abusers at the same time as alcohol abusers, Al Anon does that.

Yes, I think I know the meeting to which you refer. There have been some very ugly incidents there between those who wish to discuss substance abuse and those who refuse to let it be discussed. I was not aware of any embargo on people discussing relationship issues - I attended those meetings for quite a while and it was only substance abuse discussion that was banned, as it is, to be fair, at most AA meetings I have been to, but that particular meeting seems to allow less leeway than most.

I once attended another meeting in Jomtien when an argument broke out as to whether the alcoholic's sexual hangups was an issue worthy of discussion. A couple of old timers (Yanks) were so incensed that the discussion was allowed that they walked out! It was complete nonsense as there is a whole section about alcoholics and sex in the Big Book and that was written in the days when the world was a far less open and promiscuous place than it is today.

There are a large number of people in Pattaya who suffer from drug addiction as well as alcohol addiction so it is hardly surprising that they would bring these matters up at AA meetings - but then again there are NA specific meetings in Pattaya, so it could be argued that they have their own forum to air these issues.

All these odd little idiosyncrasies , are for me one of the reasons why AA is such a unique and successful organisation. If you don't like the way meetings are run, or if you think the meetings are full of 'dick heads' - then you can go away and form your own group - and many do just that. That is why we have 2 morning meetings, one lunch time meeting and one evening meeting in Pattaya every day, plus a few more ad hock ones from time to time. I have been to them all and have got something out of them all.

There is a similar situation in Bangkok - loads of different meetings, with a new one recently started up by a break-away group from the Park hotel crowd. Chiang Mai - same same....

[kerryk]

There is an AA meeting in Pattaya that forbids the discussion of any substance abuse other than alcohol. At least there used to be, as it's been a while since I have been to that particular meeting. They seem a little obsessive to me. They also forbid the discussion of relationships. You can only talk about alcohol abuse at that particular meeting.

Although I don't agree with their point of view I can understand it. I also don't have the same depth of understanding of substance abuse because it has never been a problem for me.

So, Trisailor I can't give you an answer. I don't know if the same precepts apply to substances as booze. They have different meetings for substance abuse and I would suggest bringing up your points in those meetings. AA is simple and strong but I don't know if it is strong enough to handle substance abusers at the same time as alcohol abusers, Al Anon does that.

Yes, I think I know the meeting to which you refer. There have been some very ugly incidents there between those who wish to discuss substance abuse and those who refuse to let it be discussed. I was not aware of any embargo on people discussing relationship issues - I attended those meetings for quite a while and it was only substance abuse discussion that was banned, as it is, to be fair, at most AA meetings I have been to, but that particular meeting seems to allow less leeway than most.

I once attended another meeting in Jomtien when an argument broke out as to whether the alcoholic's sexual hangups was an issue worthy of discussion. A couple of old timers (Yanks) were so incensed that the discussion was allowed that they walked out! It was complete nonsense as there is a whole section about alcoholics and sex in the Big Book and that was written in the days when the world was a far less open and promiscuous place than it is today.

There are a large number of people in Pattaya who suffer from drug addiction as well as alcohol addiction so it is hardly surprising that they would bring these matters up at AA meetings - but then again there are NA specific meetings in Pattaya, so it could be argued that they have their own forum to air these issues.

All these odd little idiosyncrasies , are for me one of the reasons why AA is such a unique and successful organisation. If you don't like the way meetings are run, or if you think the meetings are full of 'dick heads' - then you can go away and form your own group - and many do just that. That is why we have 2 morning meetings, one lunch time meeting and one evening meeting in Pattaya every day, plus a few more ad hock ones from time to time. I have been to them all and have got something out of them all.

There is a similar situation in Bangkok - loads of different meetings, with a new one recently started up by a break-away group from the Park hotel crowd. Chiang Mai - same same....

You make a good point. Besides the meetings being a way to stop drinking they are entertaining and not in the least boring. There are all kinds of people at the meetings from professional boxers to best selling authors (NY Times best seller list) and movie producers to name a few. Some people are shy and never speak others are professional orators.

There is room for everyone.

[trisailer]

Let me rephrase. I was responding to the "lasting sobriety" Which AA can help with. For me it took a full committment to the program which included attending 6 meetings per week and getting a sponser who was wise enough to see through my BS. "Working" the program involves reading the big book and learning the 12 steps. All 12 step programs are the same so if the issue is other substances as well any meeting will do.

Happyness is a completly different issue and demands a different approach. Many people stay sober in AA but their not necessarly happy. We used to call them dry drunks because all their underlying issues were still present even though they didn't drink. Happyness or better stated as balance has to do with honestly (self honesty we learn in AA) facing our demons and restoring our natural power to feel satisfied without substances.

[Johnniey]

There is an AA meeting in Pattaya that forbids the discussion of any substance abuse other than alcohol. At least there used to be, as it's been a while since I have been to that particular meeting. They seem a little obsessive to me. They also forbid the discussion of relationships. You can only talk about alcohol abuse at that particular meeting.

Although I don't agree with their point of view I can understand it. I also don't have the same depth of understanding of substance abuse because it has never been a problem for me.

So, Trisailor I can't give you an answer. I don't know if the same precepts apply to substances as booze. They have different meetings for substance abuse and I would suggest bringing up your points in those meetings. AA is simple and strong but I don't know if it is strong enough to handle substance abusers at the same time as alcohol abusers, Al Anon does that.

Yes, I think I know the meeting to which you refer. There have been some very ugly incidents there between those who wish to discuss substance abuse and those who refuse to let it be discussed. I was not aware of any embargo on people discussing relationship issues - I attended those meetings for quite a while and it was only substance abuse discussion that was banned, as it is, to be fair, at most AA meetings I have been to, but that particular meeting seems to allow less leeway than most.

I once attended another meeting in Jomtien when an argument broke out as to whether the alcoholic's sexual hangups was an issue worthy of discussion. A couple of old timers (Yanks) were so incensed that the discussion was allowed that they walked out! It was complete nonsense as there is a whole section about alcoholics and sex in the Big Book and that was written in the days when the world was a far less open and promiscuous place than it is today.

There are a large number of people in Pattaya who suffer from drug addiction as well as alcohol addiction so it is hardly surprising that they would bring these matters up at AA meetings - but then again there are NA specific meetings in Pattaya, so it could be argued that they have their own forum to air these issues.

All these odd little idiosyncrasies , are for me one of the reasons why AA is such a unique and successful organisation. If you don't like the way meetings are run, or if you think the meetings are full of 'dick heads' - then you can go away and form your own group - and many do just that. That is why we have 2 morning meetings, one lunch time meeting and one evening meeting in Pattaya every day, plus a few more ad hock ones from time to time. I have been to them all and have got something out of them all.

There is a similar situation in Bangkok - loads of different meetings, with a new one recently started up by a break-away group from the Park hotel crowd. Chiang Mai - same same....

I went to a meeting a few years back in Pattaya. I'll never go back. It started with the guy chairing the meeting saying that only 2 steps were needed to remain sober. Maybe possible but doubtful if the person would be serene, happy or sane as well. But I was shocked that at a 12 step meeting someone would have the nerve to say that.

Then one guy with me mentioned cannabis being responsible for his recent slip was made to shut up. Then 3 guys shared about things related to their sexual addictions. It's understandable how many, if not most alcoholics in Pattaya have sexual addictions - maybe they should be at SA meetings, which surprisingly they don't have there(that I know of).

I think that I should be allowed to talk about anything if it is important to my sobriety.

[Mobi]

I went to a meeting a few years back in Pattaya. I'll never go back. It started with the guy chairing the meeting saying that only 2 steps were needed to remain sober. Maybe possible but doubtful if the person would be serene, happy or sane as well. But I was shocked that at a 12 step meeting someone would have the nerve to say that.

Then one guy with me mentioned cannabis being responsible for his recent slip was made to shut up. Then 3 guys shared about things related to their sexual addictions. It's understandable how many, if not most alcoholics in Pattaya have sexual addictions - maybe they should be at SA meetings, which surprisingly they don't have there(that I know of).

I think that I should be allowed to talk about anything if it is important to my sobriety.

We've all been to meetings that we had serious issues with. I have even walked out of meetings that I had a major issue with. It is the nature of the beast, (them and me). But I'm sorry, I think you are wrong to judge the quality of a meeting group by one meting. If I did that I would soon run out of meeting groups.

However If, after giving a meeting group a fair try, you decide that it isn't for you, then move on to another one that is more to your liking. That is the point we have been discussing.

[StreetCowboy]

How are things going, Smokie?

Did you get to an AA meeting? Did you manage to stay out of the pub?

I don't suppose you went up the road to watch the rugby? Another good win for both of us in the Superleague last night...

I managed to keep off the drink at the games last Saturday; I knocked off at half-time with Japan 28-0 up to go to an AA meeting - and then a quick sober trip down Soi Cowboy - and not drinking, I was able to steer clear of the ATMs and get home in time to go to bed.

This weekend I caught Japan v UAE on Star Sports; I thought momentarily about watching it in the pub - forgetting that I had insufficient money in my pocket and there's no ATM nearby; anyway, a mere passing thought - it was a dismal one-sided thrashing - 111-0, so I'd have just got miserable and frustrated in the pub.

SC

[smokie36]

How are things going, Smokie?

Did you get to an AA meeting? Did you manage to stay out of the pub?

I don't suppose you went up the road to watch the rugby? Another good win for both of us in the Superleague last night...

I managed to keep off the drink at the games last Saturday; I knocked off at half-time with Japan 28-0 up to go to an AA meeting - and then a quick sober trip down Soi Cowboy - and not drinking, I was able to steer clear of the ATMs and get home in time to go to bed.

This weekend I caught Japan v UAE on Star Sports; I thought momentarily about watching it in the pub - forgetting that I had insufficient money in my pocket and there's no ATM nearby; anyway, a mere passing thought - it was a dismal one-sided thrashing - 111-0, so I'd have just got miserable and frustrated in the pub.

SC

Not quit the booze yet SC unfortunately. Somehow I keep finding reasons not to attend a meeting or maybe I'm just not quite ready yet. Anyway busy as I'm back in Thailand this week but had a few days off the beer a couple of times over the last two or three weeks and only one occassion where things were well a wee bit out of hand.

So overall one step forward and the same back but at least I'm thinking about these things which has to be a start of sorts.

[StreetCowboy]

How are things going, Smokie?

Did you get to an AA meeting? Did you manage to stay out of the pub?

I don't suppose you went up the road to watch the rugby? Another good win for both of us in the Superleague last night...

I managed to keep off the drink at the games last Saturday; I knocked off at half-time with Japan 28-0 up to go to an AA meeting - and then a quick sober trip down Soi Cowboy - and not drinking, I was able to steer clear of the ATMs and get home in time to go to bed.

This weekend I caught Japan v UAE on Star Sports; I thought momentarily about watching it in the pub - forgetting that I had insufficient money in my pocket and there's no ATM nearby; anyway, a mere passing thought - it was a dismal one-sided thrashing - 111-0, so I'd have just got miserable and frustrated in the pub.

SC

Not quit the booze yet SC unfortunately. Somehow I keep finding reasons not to attend a meeting or maybe I'm just not quite ready yet. Anyway busy as I'm back in Thailand this week but had a few days off the beer a couple of times over the last two or three weeks and only one occassion where things were well a wee bit out of hand.

So overall one step forward and the same back but at least I'm thinking about these things which has to be a start of sorts.

As someone quite accurately told me - "You know you're trouble? You haven't suffered enough...", and I suppose I am trying to spread the remaining suffering as thinly as I can...

SC

[smokie36]

How are things going, Smokie?

Did you get to an AA meeting? Did you manage to stay out of the pub?

I don't suppose you went up the road to watch the rugby? Another good win for both of us in the Superleague last night...

I managed to keep off the drink at the games last Saturday; I knocked off at half-time with Japan 28-0 up to go to an AA meeting - and then a quick sober trip down Soi Cowboy - and not drinking, I was able to steer clear of the ATMs and get home in time to go to bed.

This weekend I caught Japan v UAE on Star Sports; I thought momentarily about watching it in the pub - forgetting that I had insufficient money in my pocket and there's no ATM nearby; anyway, a mere passing thought - it was a dismal one-sided thrashing - 111-0, so I'd have just got miserable and frustrated in the pub.

SC

Not quit the booze yet SC unfortunately. Somehow I keep finding reasons not to attend a meeting or maybe I'm just not quite ready yet. Anyway busy as I'm back in Thailand this week but had a few days off the beer a couple of times over the last two or three weeks and only one occassion where things were well a wee bit out of hand.

So overall one step forward and the same back but at least I'm thinking about these things which has to be a start of sorts.

As someone quite accurately told me - "You know you're trouble? You haven't suffered enough...", and I suppose I am trying to spread the remaining suffering as thinly as I can...

SC

I suppose, coming as I do from a strong tradition of fending for yorself, I don't expect help from family etc....maybe this is holding me back somewhat in respect of hitting rock bottom.....or of seeking help.

In fact I think about a life without booze and wonder what I'd be doing with myself instead. Even though I know its the best option for me.