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Ben Trein For Pm


bentrein

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Part ONE - admin, feel free to move this somewhere you deem more appropriate. And no, I'm not really running; I couldn't fake a Thai birth certificate after all. A Hawaiian one was hard enough...

A Thai general election is under way; the date is set. The parties are campaigning, and so are many others. I have a large network of friends and foes within every political party in Thailand, and will shed some light on the bits and pieces that hit the news in the months to come.

Months ago, something that had been common knowledge behind the scenes, suddenly became public knowledge, when a leading newspaper in Thailand published it: political candidates often find it cheaper to kill their opponent than to beat them in an election.

Why cheaper, you might ask? Well, anyone familiar with Thai politics can tell you; you're not voted into the House of Representatives, you buy your way in. Pay people twenty or a hundred baht – depending on social background and education – and they'll vote for you. The race is not who has the deepest pockets, but who reaches all villages first.

But of course, having your opponent shot may very well be a cheaper option. Exactly this happened, the day after the House was dissolved – in acid one might hope.

The Samut Prakarn Puea Thai candidate was shot in his car, while stuck in one of the perpetual traffic jams close to the capital. However, the person paying for the shooting – I'm not allowed to say who, I might be next – thought to save fifty baht by hiring a gorilla from Dusit Zoo. The car had well over ten bullet holes, yet the candidate escaped with minor scratches to his rather large ego. The number of bullets that made the press was much less, this in an attempt not to embarrass the person who paid for the disaster.

Following this incident, the police published a list of wanted hit-men that would be detained till after the election. Unlike under the Thaksin administration, the people on this list weren't randomly chosen citizens – remember the war on drugs? – but actual hit-men. The police has known their profession for well over a decade, but instead of rounding them up, they haven't done anything to capture them – till now – because of suspected bribery.

An inside source high up in the national police force told me through an anonymous phone call: “Some of them have paid the police to ignore their murders. Others however, have been used by the police to eliminate... how to say... people who disagreed with us.” Those people being innocent bystanders at police brutality, or people blowing the whistle at police corruption.

The same source confided that the police mean business this time “We're going to keep a close watch on the comings and goings of the hit-men. We know all hit-men in the country; this is our country. There are no secrets here for us. We will make sure all politicians who promise to keep our position in society unchanged will be safe.”

And so, the table is set for an exciting election. See you next time for my inside information on the different election campaigns!

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