Dazed And Confused

[meatboy]

after 25years dont you just love them another thai classic,the day would not be the same without them keep em coming.

[bermondburi]

Also, in regards to the bar ownership, she co-owned a bar with her partner in a quiet area of town (perhaps the reason it failed) which did not operate 'bar girls', all the while her partner lived with her for 6 years in thailand. He was ever present in her life. She once told me a reason their relationship failed was due to his drinking and bar hopping...

I don't know of any 'farang bar' where there aren't prostitutes (either employed direct or freelance)

Any girl who works in such a bar would not be there if she had a problem with prostitution.

Respectable Thai girls I know, won't even enter a road where they know a 'farang bar' is situated.

You really can't believe what she tells you, it will be whatever she thinks you want to hear (this is pretty true about all Thais, male and female)

You're hanging in the wrong part of town then. I used to run a bar where there were no women for sale. Like most bars in Thailand it was just that, a bar.

[lovelaos]

I didn't realise there were so many bitter, emotionly scarred expats out there.

If this woman were from another country (lets say Italy) would many of you change your "advice"?

Be honest.

At the end of the day the OP has already made his mind up and I say good luck to him.

Is there such a thing as a perfect relationship?

Again, be honest.

The continuous shout of "she's a bargirl /ex bargirl is rather tedious.

God, this place is depressing.

[meatboy]

I didn't realise there were so many bitter, emotionly scarred expats out there.

If this woman were from another country (lets say Italy) would many of you change your "advice"?

Be honest.

At the end of the day the OP has already made his mind up and I say good luck to him.

Is there such a thing as a perfect relationship?

Again, be honest.

The continuous shout of "she's a bargirl /ex bargirl is rather tedious.

God, this place is depressing.

dont go on suffering, depression

can be treated

[sarahsbloke]

Also, in regards to the bar ownership, she co-owned a bar with her partner in a quiet area of town (perhaps the reason it failed) which did not operate 'bar girls', all the while her partner lived with her for 6 years in thailand. He was ever present in her life. She once told me a reason their relationship failed was due to his drinking and bar hopping...

I don't know of any 'farang bar' where there aren't prostitutes (either employed direct or freelance)

Any girl who works in such a bar would not be there if she had a problem with prostitution.

Respectable Thai girls I know, won't even enter a road where they know a 'farang bar' is situated.

You really can't believe what she tells you, it will be whatever she thinks you want to hear (this is pretty true about all Thais, male and female)

You're hanging in the wrong part of town then. I used to run a bar where there were no women for sale. Like most bars in Thailand it was just that, a bar.

I've been in bars like this, white owner didn't do bar fines, but every 'waitress' (and his wife sometimes) was available for rent.

Plenty of buffaloes think they own and run bars!

[sarahsbloke]

i was of course assuming people are not stupid but then thats a silly assumption. The point i was making is ive seen a lot of what would have been successful happy relationships go sour because forang are scared their GF will cheat them or they are being taken for a ride.

There are many successful and happy relationships where the white guy THINKS his gf/wife DOESN'T cheat on him. He is rarely correct.

When do their women cheat on them? When they think they can get away with it.

The more gullible the guy is, the more he gets cheated on.

Thai women (and men) take lovers more often than most of us used to eat out in the west, it's just the way it is.

Of course my twisted idea of what goes on may be to do with the very bad areas I hang around in, so most of you won't have to worry.

[bermondburi]

I've been in bars like this, white owner didn't do bar fines, but every 'waitress' (and his wife sometimes) was available for rent.

Plenty of buffaloes think they own and run bars!

So I'm a buffalo am I? Quick to judge others aren't we. Don't bother commenting when you know little about the subject. Why does everybody have to think that bars are places for prostitution in this country. Thailand is a very big country.

Just to set the record straight ( although you will probably say that I'm making this up ) , some years ago on an island called Koh Payam in Ranong province on the border with Burma, my wife and I ran a bar restaurant a few minutes back from Ao Yai beach. Total staff : 2, me and my wife. There are only 500 people living on the island, a mix of Thais Burmese and some tourists. There is no government electricity so made our own. I did the booze and my wife did the food. It worked quite well but we left when my wife became pregnant due to inadequate healthcare on the island. My son ( the first one ) is now nearly five . There wasn't and still isn't any " girly bars " in any form on this island. Places like this do exist in Thailand belive it or not. For sure there would be the odd guy ( maybe like yourself ) who would come up from Phuket with a hoe in tow but that was it. Neither me or my wife owned the bar, we just rented a plot of land for 10,000 baht a year and built a place on it that would revert back to the landowner when we vacated.

Some people seem to think they know everything on this forum based on their own experience of not a lot.

p.s. Got two sons now, WE own another very nice house now and still happily married all these years later.

[bermondburi]

i was of course assuming people are not stupid but then thats a silly assumption. The point i was making is ive seen a lot of what would have been successful happy relationships go sour because forang are scared their GF will cheat them or they are being taken for a ride.

There are many successful and happy relationships where the white guy THINKS his gf/wife DOESN'T cheat on him. He is rarely correct.

When do their women cheat on them? When they think they can get away with it.

The more gullible the guy is, the more he gets cheated on.

Thai women (and men) take lovers more often than most of us used to eat out in the west, it's just the way it is.

Of course my twisted idea of what goes on may be to do with the very bad areas I hang around in, so most of you won't have to worry.

your twisted idea might stem from the fact that you are twisted.

[andrewbkk]

There are many successful and happy relationships where the white guy THINKS his gf/wife DOESN'T cheat on him. He is rarely correct.

When do their women cheat on them? When they think they can get away with it.

The more gullible the guy is, the more he gets cheated on.

Thai women (and men) take lovers more often than most of us used to eat out in the west, it's just the way it is.

You talk an amazing amount of sense.

I know from experience that you are right.

I was one of those gullible idiots who "knew" his wife would never cheat. Sure, I saw the warning signs, but I lived in a state of self-denial.

I think very many men here in Thailand are exactly the same.

Ultimately though, it's not really about us men. It's about the women.

In most cases -- even though we deny it -- we get the crap. Very few decent Thai women go with farangs.

We get the crap. And crap lies. And crap cheats. And crap steals.

[bermondburi]

There are many successful and happy relationships where the white guy THINKS his gf/wife DOESN'T cheat on him. He is rarely correct.

When do their women cheat on them? When they think they can get away with it.

The more gullible the guy is, the more he gets cheated on.

Thai women (and men) take lovers more often than most of us used to eat out in the west, it's just the way it is.

You talk an amazing amount of sense.

I know from experience that you are right.

I was one of those gullible idiots who "knew" his wife would never cheat. Sure, I saw the warning signs, but I lived in a state of self-denial.

I think very many men here in Thailand are exactly the same.

Ultimately though, it's not really about us men. It's about the women.

In most cases -- even though we deny it -- we get the crap. Very few decent Thai women go with farangs.

We get the crap. And crap lies. And crap cheats. And crap steals.

some of you guys are so bitter and negative.

[stoneyboy]

Take heed from most of these posters on here they to have been in your situation,either that or they have mystical knowledge of Thai women,those who are in or have been in a relationship with Thai women normally meet them in bars i am afraid.

Its an urban myth that i met my wife while shopping in Tesco's or at a roadside noodle stall,while these sound very romantic and sweet they are not true.from my personal observations there are two types of Farang/Thai relationship here in LOS,

You have those who have been posted here for employment reason's,usually university educated with a decent working background who do strike up relationships with professional Thai woman.

Then you have those who fall in love with bar girl's while on holiday,or those retired types who came here for a winter retreat,fall in love set up home and the like,easy to spot when living in less populated rural areas of the north and north east,dead give away when they dare not look you in the eye in Tesco's because everyone knows their secret.

Its very easy really.

I to fit the latter description,even had my English parents over to meet my former bargirl wife who's 6 years older than me,seem's for every 1000 sad stories their is the odd decent one that arises now and again.

[F1fanatic]

Take heed from most of these posters on here they to have been in your situation,either that or they have mystical knowledge of Thai women,those who are in or have been in a relationship with Thai women normally meet them in bars i am afraid.

Its an urban myth that i met my wife while shopping in Tesco's or at a roadside noodle stall,while these sound very romantic and sweet they are not true.from my personal observations there are two types of Farang/Thai relationship here in LOS,

You have those who have been posted here for employment reason's,usually university educated with a decent working background who do strike up relationships with professional Thai woman.

Then you have those who fall in love with bar girl's while on holiday,or those retired types who came here for a winter retreat,fall in love set up home and the like,easy to spot when living in less populated rural areas of the north and north east,dead give away when they dare not look you in the eye in Tesco's because everyone knows their secret.

Its very easy really.

I to fit the latter description,even had my English parents over to meet my former bargirl wife who's 6 years older than me,seem's for every 1000 sad stories their is the odd decent one that arises now and again.

I have to agree. An old b/g that realises she has no options left, will make a v good wife. She has no other option unless she wants to starve. Moving to massages works to a certain extent, but doesn't actually provide a lot of money. A farang is a far better bet. And, bonus, the farang actually believes that she loves him and its nothing at all to do with money

Edited May 21, 2011 by F1fanatic

[StreetCowboy]

,,,

some of you guys are so bitter and negative.

I've never been one for cocktails, but while the English might go for mild and bitter, I'd prefer stout and heavy, or even special tops

SC

[stoneyboy]

Take heed from most of these posters on here they to have been in your situation,either that or they have mystical knowledge of Thai women,those who are in or have been in a relationship with Thai women normally meet them in bars i am afraid.

Its an urban myth that i met my wife while shopping in Tesco's or at a roadside noodle stall,while these sound very romantic and sweet they are not true.from my personal observations there are two types of Farang/Thai relationship here in LOS,

You have those who have been posted here for employment reason's,usually university educated with a decent working background who do strike up relationships with professional Thai woman.

Then you have those who fall in love with bar girl's while on holiday,or those retired types who came here for a winter retreat,fall in love set up home and the like,easy to spot when living in less populated rural areas of the north and north east,dead give away when they dare not look you in the eye in Tesco's because everyone knows their secret.

Its very easy really.

I to fit the latter description,even had my English parents over to meet my former bargirl wife who's 6 years older than me,seem's for every 1000 sad stories their is the odd decent one that arises now and again.

I have to agree. An old b/g that realises she has no options left, will make a v good wife. She has no other option unless she wants to starve. Moving to massages works to a certain extent, but doesn't actually provide a lot of money. A farang is a far better bet. And, bonus, the farang actually believes that she loves him and its nothing at all to do with money

Exactly and i have a wife in the UK and 3 children also so every one's quids in.

[andrewbkk]

,,,

some of you guys are so bitter and negative.

I've never been one for cocktails, but while the English might go for mild and bitter, I'd prefer stout and heavy, or even special tops

SC

In England I was a cider man. I'm guessing that you're a Guiness man.

[stoneyboy]

,,,

some of you guys are so bitter and negative.

I've never been one for cocktails, but while the English might go for mild and bitter, I'd prefer stout and heavy, or even special tops

SC

In England I was a cider man. I'm guessing that you're a Guiness man.

Lets keep it on topic,we are discussing in reality if the OP a has future with this woman,the guy need's pointing in the right direction,and this is obviously the right place to come.

Edited May 21, 2011 by stoneyboy

[sarahsbloke]

I have to agree. An old b/g that realises she has no options left, will make a v good wife. She has no other option unless she wants to starve. Moving to massages works to a certain extent, but doesn't actually provide a lot of money. A farang is a far better bet. And, bonus, the farang actually believes that she loves him and its nothing at all to do with money

Actually, whitey is just over the moon just to get a regular shag, cos his wife in England never did (from personal experience).

Does she love me? Who cares! She knows what her job is .........

In fact I'm prepared to bet

Any guy will dump a wife who doesn't 'put out', for a woman who does.

Relative quality/looks/age of the two women not at all relevant.

Edited May 22, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[JeffreyMcCollum]

10 years here and a slow learner. But I have learned a few things over the years and key words jumped out at me. Thailand is a wonderful place, and there are many wonderful ladies here that are far better than what you can find back home. But yes, when home becomes here in Thailand, and you work and live just like anywhere, the game and fun changes. Be careful, have fun, don't do anything you would not do back home. And take it slowly. Personally I think this one is not the one but a way to learn.

[SteeleJoe]

...when home becomes here in Thailand, and you work and live just like anywhere, the game and fun changes. Be careful, have fun, don't do anything you would not do back home. And take it slowly... .

Yes.

[Thakkar]

To the OP:

Worst case scenario One:

She or her boyfriend end up killing you to get what they want.

Worst case scenario Two:

She gets what she wants—Foreign citizenship, all your money, etc—and then dumps you.

As long as it doesn't end up being the former, you have little to worry about. It's just money; you're young, you'll make more. Your heart will heal and be wiser. Do that bungie jump, have some love adventure in your life. If things don't work out, don't feel stupid for having taken the plunge. Don't let your regret be The Road Not Taken.

Word of advice, though, since you talk so much about your intelligence: don't ever fancy yourself smarter than your woman; a man can commit no greater folly than to think thus.

Edited May 22, 2011 by Thakkar

[bermondburi]

,,,

some of you guys are so bitter and negative.

I've never been one for cocktails, but while the English might go for mild and bitter, I'd prefer stout and heavy, or even special tops

SC

In England I was a cider man. I'm guessing that you're a Guiness man.

Lets keep it on topic,we are discussing in reality if the OP a has future with this woman,the guy need's pointing in the right direction,and this is obviously the right place to come.

Westons Perry from the local weatherspoons. 7.4 % great pear cider poured into a glass full of ice.

[StreetCowboy]

,,,

some of you guys are so bitter and negative.

I've never been one for cocktails, but while the English might go for mild and bitter, I'd prefer stout and heavy, or even special tops

SC

In England I was a cider man. I'm guessing that you're a Guiness man.

Westons Perry from the local weatherspoons. 7.4 % great pear cider poured into a glass full of ice.

Scarcely a sophisticated cocktail, though, is it?

I'll stick to a Black and Tan with an umbrella in it. Pint, mind, or I'd look like a big jessie.

SC

My apologies if I have misattributed anything with my quote-editing

[bermondburi]

not a sophisticated cocktail no, BUT IT TASTES fuc_kING GREAT !!!

[F1fanatic]

I have to agree. An old b/g that realises she has no options left, will make a v good wife. She has no other option unless she wants to starve. Moving to massages works to a certain extent, but doesn't actually provide a lot of money. A farang is a far better bet. And, bonus, the farang actually believes that she loves him and its nothing at all to do with money

Actually, whitey is just over the moon just to get a regular shag, cos his wife in England never did (from personal experience).

Does she love me? Who cares! She knows what her job is .........

In fact I'm prepared to bet

Any guy will dump a wife who doesn't 'put out', for a woman who does.

Relative quality/looks/age of the two women not at all relevant.

Of course, but its a 'false' relationship when one party has money whilst the other has none...

You're right though, at the end of the day its 'her job' to provide sex when required. Its a financial transaction.

[F1fanatic]

10 years here and a slow learner. But I have learned a few things over the years and key words jumped out at me. Thailand is a wonderful place, and there are many wonderful ladies here that are far better than what you can find back home. But yes, when home becomes here in Thailand, and you work and live just like anywhere, the game and fun changes. Be careful, have fun, don't do anything you would not do back home. And take it slowly. Personally I think this one is not the one but a way to learn.

So true. As long as you are happy to pretend that the 'lady' loves you for yourself and money has nothing to do with it.

But I'm sure you're right, the Thai women that farang men 'hook up' with are far better than the women you can find back home who don't worship money above all else.

[sarahsbloke]

Of course, but its a 'false' relationship when one party has money whilst the other has none...

You're right though, at the end of the day its 'her job' to provide sex when required. Its a financial transaction.

But that's true in 90% of male/female relationships, sometimes it's cash and carry up front, sometimes it's house and pension at the end.

In long term relationships (false or real) of the western world, one half of the relationship have usually forgotten their job after the first year.

At least in Thailand the girls don't forget how to do their job.

(quite often they work overtime with another guy at the same time)

And as my wife says

'The worst shag, with the nastiest man I ever had, was considerably better than 10 hours working in a rice field,. For gods sake, how bad can something that lasts 10 minutes be'

(for the sake of a more equitable comparison can I point out 1 shag = 100 hours work in a rice field)

Edited May 23, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[F1fanatic]

Of course, but its a 'false' relationship when one party has money whilst the other has none...

You're right though, at the end of the day its 'her job' to provide sex when required. Its a financial transaction.

But that's true in 90% of male/female relationships, sometimes it's cash and carry up front, sometimes it's house and pension at the end.

In long term relationships (false or real) of the western world, one half of the relationship have usually forgotten their job after the first year.

At least in Thailand the girls don't forget how to do their job.

(quite often they work overtime with another guy at the same time)

And as my wife says

'The worst shag, with the nastiest man I ever had, was considerably better than 10 hours working in a rice field,. For gods sake, how bad can something that lasts 10 minutes be'

(for the sake of a more equitable comparison can I point out 1 shag = 100 hours work in a rice field)

Again, I'm sure you're right . Personally I don't know any Western female that gave up their job after the first year.... But then again, I only knew middle-income people where both partners worked - either because they needed the money or because the woman preferred to work

And your wife proves my point.... I hadn't realised previously how awful Western women are for not looking at 'sex' as a 'tool of trade'. How dare they look for a relationship with an equal!

Edited May 23, 2011 by F1fanatic

[StreetCowboy]

Of course, but its a 'false' relationship when one party has money whilst the other has none...

You're right though, at the end of the day its 'her job' to provide sex when required. Its a financial transaction.

But that's true in 90% of male/female relationships, sometimes it's cash and carry up front, sometimes it's house and pension at the end.

In long term relationships (false or real) of the western world, one half of the relationship have usually forgotten their job after the first year.

At least in Thailand the girls don't forget how to do their job.

(quite often they work overtime with another guy at the same time)

And as my wife says

'The worst shag, with the nastiest man I ever had, was considerably better than 10 hours working in a rice field,. For gods sake, how bad can something that lasts 10 minutes be'

(for the sake of a more equitable comparison can I point out 1 shag = 100 hours work in a rice field)

Having worked night shift, its a long wait till morning to get the money and head off to the pub.

I can't help thinking that it would be better if you two went off for a date together to settle your heart-to-heart discussions, rather than carrying on your conversation across all the threads of this forum.

I suppose it is those cross-threads that make tartan so attractive, though.

SC

[F1fanatic]

Of course, but its a 'false' relationship when one party has money whilst the other has none...

You're right though, at the end of the day its 'her job' to provide sex when required. Its a financial transaction.

But that's true in 90% of male/female relationships, sometimes it's cash and carry up front, sometimes it's house and pension at the end.

In long term relationships (false or real) of the western world, one half of the relationship have usually forgotten their job after the first year.

At least in Thailand the girls don't forget how to do their job.

(quite often they work overtime with another guy at the same time)

And as my wife says

'The worst shag, with the nastiest man I ever had, was considerably better than 10 hours working in a rice field,. For gods sake, how bad can something that lasts 10 minutes be'

(for the sake of a more equitable comparison can I point out 1 shag = 100 hours work in a rice field)

Having worked night shift, its a long wait till morning to get the money and head off to the pub.

I can't help thinking that it would be better if you two went off for a date together to settle your heart-to-heart discussions, rather than carrying on your conversation across all the threads of this forum.

I suppose it is those cross-threads that make tartan so attractive, though.

SC