Need A "Woman'S View" On This

[IMA_FARANG]

I need a "woman's view" on this matter...I'm a male so I'm looking for female opinions.

I'm married to a Thai woman, she is 62 and I'm 65. I have a Thai grand daughter who just turned 17 last month.

In the last two or three weeks there has been a noticable change in how my grand daughter acts and dresses. She has had her hair cut, has tied her hair up into a bow with a ribbon, is taking much more care with her clothes and how they look, and I have even seen her dabbing perfume on before she goes off to school in the morning.

For my grand daughter it is a major change in her behavour.

The last time I saw such things happening was when her mother...my wife's daughter...met her boyfriend, the grand daughter's father. I can still remember when the daughter told me, "Daddy, I'm not a young girl anymore" some 20 plus years ago.

All the changes I am seeing in my grand daughter seem to point to a BOY that she is interested in, or that she want's to be interested in her. Six months ago she was activing like a 14 year old, now she's suddenly acting like she was 17 or 18 years old.

Don't get me wrong my grand daughter seems to be a very smart girl. She wants to go to University here in Thailand, and she may very well make it from what I've heard. And I'm pretty sure that both Granny and Mother have at least given her the "facts of life" talk, so I'm not really to worried about that part. She seems to be a pretty level-headed girl, so I don't expect her to go crasy over the first guy that is interested.

I think her mother, my daughter, is catching on to the fact that grand daughter is changing her behaviour rapidly...but my wife...grandmother...seems to still be unaware of what might be going on.

My question though is do you women think I am right about what's happening...that there is a boy involved?

My instinct is very much to stay out of the way, let her Mother and her Grandmother work out any problems if they arise...and that's what I intend to do.

I'm just interested in what you ladies make of the situation. Do you think I may be right?

Edited May 26, 2011 by IMA_FARANG

[Sheryl]

Absolutely.

She's attracted to someone.

Your're lucky it didn't happen until age 17!

[harrry]

I would check with your wife or her mother re the talk.

///many skip it here and even fewer educate about condoms.

[slapout]

I asked my daughters a few years back, if their mother had discussed the facts/myths,etc, with them. I heard a resounding no. Mother said they learn at school, from friends, on tv, etc. Er had some fun and enlightening discussion over the next few weeks. For the 3 of us. Mother did not seem to want to broach the subject with them.

I was told again, "not the Thai way"

[IMA_FARANG]

I'm not too much worried about "The Talk". For one thing my wife...Granny...told me she made it to the grand daughter...and I know her history with her Thai husband who left her...so I'm quite certain that she made it to her grand daughter. Once burnt, twice shy, as they say.

Granny had to raise her children basically by herself until we got married...and also the granddaughter for a while later on. When my wife and I got married her youngest child was already five years old.

[sbk]

Yes, a boy.

And if Mom won't do it get Granny to get her to the dr for an HPV vaccine and birth control NOW before she is sexually active -- regardless of how Granny and/or Mom feel about men that doesn't necessarily mean anything proactive has been done.

And good for you for making sure your granddaughter's best interests are at heart.

[PattayaParent]

^unless she's batting for the other team.

[Patsycat]

I'm 47 and still waiting for my mother to tell me about the birds and the bees....

[IMA_FARANG]

Since I started this toic I thought I'd come back for the "update" post.

I managed to get the topic introduced to my wife..and she and the girl's mother sat the grand daughter and sked her directly.

Seems there IS a boy she is interested in. From what my wife and the mother say they are pretty sure it hasn't gone beyond the "I like him!" stage yet.

Both granny and the mother made it a point to emphasise to the grand daughter that she wants to go on to University and anything serious would make that unlikely.

The grand daughter seems to understand that, and appears to understand what Granny and Moher are saying. She agrees with them.

As I said before, the grand daughter is an intelligent girl and I don't expect her to do anything stupid. At the same time she is only 17, and "biology" is entering into the picture.

Now I have to find a tactful way to somehow get the suggestion about getting her to have a HPV check (as someone mentioned) without granny and mother being offended by that suggestion. That won't be easy to do...they will think I'm suggesting "bad things" about the grand daughter.

Anyhow, thanks to all you ladies who relied to my original post. Your replies were helpful and gave me the courage to mention this "delicate topic" to granny and mother.

[sbk]

Since I started this toic I thought I'd come back for the "update" post.

I managed to get the topic introduced to my wife..and she and the girl's mother sat the grand daughter and sked her directly.

Seems there IS a boy she is interested in. From what my wife and the mother say they are pretty sure it hasn't gone beyond the "I like him!" stage yet.

Both granny and the mother made it a point to emphasise to the grand daughter that she wants to go on to University and anything serious would make that unlikely.

The grand daughter seems to understand that, and appears to understand what Granny and Moher are saying. She agrees with them.

As I said before, the grand daughter is an intelligent girl and I don't expect her to do anything stupid. At the same time she is only 17, and "biology" is entering into the picture.

Now I have to find a tactful way to somehow get the suggestion about getting her to have a HPV check (as someone mentioned) without granny and mother being offended by that suggestion. That won't be easy to do...they will think I'm suggesting "bad things" about the grand daughter.

Anyhow, thanks to all you ladies who relied to my original post. Your replies were helpful and gave me the courage to mention this "delicate topic" to granny and mother.

Not an hpv check, the vaccine, must be done before she becomes sexually active

[Goinghomesoon]

She's had her other vaccines like tetanus, rubella and measles, right? Well like other vaccines I would simply couch it in termsof being the parents responsibility to keep kids healthy. FWIW in Australia now the HPV is part of the regular childhood vaccine program - girls receive the vaccine in 7th grade (around 12 years of age).

Edited June 2, 2011 by Goinghomesoon

[krangeek]

What's with all these 'need woman's view' posts on your 'ladies' forum' - never heard farang (mostly) women being referred to as 'ladies'. bar tarts yes, farang no.

This the thai expat equivalent as some boring male bastard edging along the bar of your local pub to bore the shit out of you when you're just out for a relaxing one and a natter or so with whoever's in the same location? Yeah. I've met many of you. And I'll say trhe same as back 'ome.

Sod off and bore someone else with you're self inflicted self indulgent tripe. 'wimmin's point of view' <deleted>.

[Goinghomesoon]

What's with all these 'need woman's view' posts on your 'ladies' forum' - never heard farang (mostly) women being referred to as 'ladies'. bar tarts yes, farang no.

This the thai expat equivalent as some boring male bastard edging along the bar of your local pub to bore the shit out of you when you're just out for a relaxing one and a natter or so with whoever's in the same location? Yeah. I've met many of you. And I'll say trhe same as back 'ome.

Sod off and bore someone else with you're self inflicted self indulgent tripe. 'wimmin's point of view' <deleted>.

Not sure if you're angry at the OP for raising the topic, or for women having the audacity to have their own forum on TV. Noone's forcing you to read it, so - in your own words - why don't you "sod off".

[Mossfinn]

What's with all these 'need woman's view' posts on your 'ladies' forum' - never heard farang (mostly) women being referred to as 'ladies'. bar tarts yes, farang no.

This the thai expat equivalent as some boring male bastard edging along the bar of your local pub to bore the shit out of you when you're just out for a relaxing one and a natter or so with whoever's in the same location? Yeah. I've met many of you. And I'll say trhe same as back 'ome.

Sod off and bore someone else with you're self inflicted self indulgent tripe. 'wimmin's point of view' <deleted>.

TVQotD

[krangeek]

What's with all these 'need woman's view' posts on your 'ladies' forum' - never heard farang (mostly) women being referred to as 'ladies'. bar tarts yes, farang no.

This the thai expat equivalent as some boring male bastard edging along the bar of your local pub to bore the shit out of you when you're just out for a relaxing one and a natter or so with whoever's in the same location? Yeah. I've met many of you. And I'll say trhe same as back 'ome.

Sod off and bore someone else with you're self inflicted self indulgent tripe. 'wimmin's point of view' <deleted>.

Not sure if you're angry at the OP for raising the topic, or for women having the audacity to have their own forum on TV. Noone's forcing you to read it, so - in your own words - why don't you "sod off".

Firstly, I am not a woman and do not consider this predominantly male forum having it's own 'ladies' forum' 'audacious'.

Secondly, this isn't by far the first time I've scrolled down the forum index to catch sight of 'need a woman's viewpoint' Why?! I've yet to see a 'need a guy's viewpoint on the General forum, nor a 'need a heterosexual's viewpoint' on the Gay forum.

My conclusion is that so many of these men are incredibly insecure, and rightly so from that which I have observed/gleaned here. And need a Big Cuddle. LOL!

[sbk]

Nothing wrong with cuddles, imo

[IMA_FARANG]

Well since I'm the one who started the topic with my original post I'll just say that the reason I asked for a "woman's viewpoint" is because the topic deals with a 17 year old girl...and therefore it simply seemed logical to me to ask a woman about that subject rather than a male.

Still seems more logical to ask a woman about the subject than ask a man.

[sbk]

I agree. I don't know too many men who actually understand women much less teen aged girls (although many think they do, clearly).

[NALAK]

prity normal behaviour for a girl that age, and why not sounds perfectly normal, get her on the pill then no worries freely available over the counter, dont let her wreck her uni career by getting pregnant. time for a strong farang hand

[Mossfinn]

Having been in the middle of a fire-fight regarding a teenage daughter, trust me, leave it to the deadlier of the species.

[CaptainFantastic]

To the OP.

It's a conundrum that faces most of us who care about our kids, at some time.

More power to you for caring enough to ask the question and seek some advice instead of fretting, solo.

What's with all these 'need woman's view' posts on your 'ladies' forum' - never heard farang (mostly) women being referred to as 'ladies'. bar tarts yes, farang no.

This the thai expat equivalent as some boring male bastard edging along the bar of your local pub to bore the shit out of you when you're just out for a relaxing one and a natter or so with whoever's in the same location? Yeah. I've met many of you. And I'll say trhe same as back 'ome.

Sod off and bore someone else with you're self inflicted self indulgent tripe. 'wimmin's point of view' <deleted>.

The world has more than it's share of neanderthal bores' like krangeek. This forum being no exception.

Edited June 6, 2011 by CaptainFantastic

[Trembly]

prity normal behaviour for a girl that age, and why not sounds perfectly normal, get her on the pill then no worries freely available over the counter, dont let her wreck her uni career by getting pregnant. time for a strong farang hand

Seconded. Grandad, you know best how layeth the land, but it might be a good idea for you to take her aside for a friendly grandfatherly word about this.

Both granny and the mother made it a point to emphasise to the grand daughter that she wants to go on to University and anything serious would make that unlikely.

The grand daughter seems to understand that, and appears to understand what Granny and Moher are saying. She agrees with them.

My bold : of course she does.

Sorry, not a lady but I felt the urge to say something as someone who's been in the sort of tangle you're trying to avoid.

Edited June 18, 2011 by Trembly

[NanLaew]

What's with all these 'need woman's view' posts on your 'ladies' forum' - never heard farang (mostly) women being referred to as 'ladies'. bar tarts yes, farang no.

This the thai expat equivalent as some boring male bastard edging along the bar of your local pub to bore the shit out of you when you're just out for a relaxing one and a natter or so with whoever's in the same location? Yeah. I've met many of you. And I'll say trhe same as back 'ome.

Sod off and bore someone else with you're self inflicted self indulgent tripe. 'wimmin's point of view' <deleted>.

The world has more than it's share of neanderthal bores' like krangeek. This forum being no exception.

I will wager that he never, EVER stops to ask for directions either.

Always hopelessly lost, always arriving late but always putting on the brave face.