Superstitions About Building A House

[Yager]

My wife's parents live in north Thailand and she is obsessed with building them a new house. This will cost about $25,000 to $30,000 USD. I'm fine with helping them long term but at the moment I'm strapped financially. Now she comes to me and says that the parents went and consulted the monks. Apparently the "tea leafs" say that it is really bad luck to build a house for the next four years. So, that means she needs the cash right now to start building the house before the end of the year. If they don't get it, it sounds like I'll have hell to pay. Has anyone else heard of this supersition? This has put unbelievable stress on our marriage.

Edited June 11, 2011 by Yager

[Soutpeel]

......forgive me for sounding cynical....are you sure the outlaws are not looking for a cash handout nothing to do with "building a house"

Lets apply logic to the situation....you currently dont have the cash, they want the cash now because the "monks say so"..

Personally I would be telling your outlaws to go and get a mortgage from a Thai bank....around THB 1.0 mil....not a great deal of cash, and if you really want to help them, tell them you will help out with the mortgage payments

I personally think either you or you and your wife are being played by the outlaws....

ps..once a house is complete, monks will come in and bless the house, so that should cancel out any bad luck by picking the "appropriate" time....

Edited June 11, 2011 by Soutpeel

[Yager]

I feel the same way that you do. It feels like a form of extortion. I was hoping someone could either confirm or deny the monks prophecy so I might be able to call bullsh-t on them.

Edited June 11, 2011 by Yager

[JurgenG]

A good fortune teller always tells you what you want to hear. In your situation, you just need to find an other fortune teller who's going to tell your in-laws that now is a terrible time to build a new house and they should wait for a couple of years that the stars move in a more favorable position.

They may or may not believe it but then you will have a very good excuse to delay the payment.

Edited June 11, 2011 by JurgenG

[Soutpeel]

It feels like a form of extortion.

....if it feels like sh*t.....Smells like sh*t.......you know the rest..

Of course you know you are going to get the Thai apologist turning up and telling you, you dont understand Thai culture...you have to pay this money or forever loose "face" and all the normal <deleted>...dont buy into it

As mentioned previously...if the outlaws are so adamant about starting "NOW"....tell them to go and get a mortgage

[Soutpeel]

A good fortune teller always tells you what you want to hear. In your situation, you just need to find an other fortune teller who's going to tell your in-laws that now is a terrible time to build a new house and they should wait for a couple of years that the stars move in a more favorable position.

They may or may not believe it but then you will have a very good excuse to delay the payment.

Good idea....maybe the good time is in about 10 years.....

but still fail to understand why the OP is expected to foot the whole bill for the outlaws Isaan Mansion, yes by all means contribute, but pay for it all...they are taking the p*ss

Maybe they should go and ask Taksin for a free credit card he has promised everyone

Edited June 11, 2011 by Soutpeel

[mario299]

Yager

There is a lot of superstition in the Issan area of Thailand, but for someone (Monks) to predict the future for up to four years from now seems to be stretching it a bit. When we built our home a few years ago, Monks were consulted about the proper day to raise the first post and some other stages of the construction, and there are even beliefs about which way the head of your bed should face (East), which direction the front and back doors should be (money should be able to flow into the house, but never out).

I was, and am, alright with most of the superstitions my wife clings to but wonder a little about your situation. A one million baht plus home for the parents? What are they living in now? Anything similar to that or a tin roof shack? How long have you and your wife been married? Are you close to the parents? (both physically and personally), or do you live some distance away and rarely talk?

Make good decisions about money when dealing with in-laws, especially if money is tight for you now. Giving away 1,000,000 baht or more could be just a start to bigger requirements from you in the future.

Take care

mario299 :jap:

[Beetlejuice]

If you don`t give your outlaws the money you will burn in indamnation in the etneral depths of hell fire.

[Richb2004v2]

This is a joke, right?

[Mirth]

From the asian point of view, it may be true. Something like horoscope where the stars collide but in this case, their birth dates collided with the year.

There are ways to counter these collision though, first is the laying of foundation for the house this year and building of house at your convenience. It doesn't matter cos they started building the house this year. That is the real jest and loophole of asian horoscope. Alternatively, you can wait for the 5th year and if both options are rejected by your wife and outlaws, chances are they are trying to skim money from you.

My wife's parents live in north Thailand and she is obsessed with building them a new house. This will cost about $25,000 to $30,000 USD. I'm fine with helping them long term but at the moment I'm strapped financially. Now she comes to me and says that the parents went and consulted the monks. Apparently the "tea leafs" say that it is really bad luck to build a house for the next four years. So, that means she needs the cash right now to start building the house before the end of the year. If they don't get it, it sounds like I'll have hell to pay. Has anyone else heard of this supersition? This has put unbelievable stress on our marriage.

[slapout]

We have built 3 houses here in Thailand, the Monks never entered the picture until they came to bless/whatever the completed house. I noticed no monks were involved with the Spirit House commissioning either. The various magic people (my term) some of whom are associated withe the temples, give you good days to start, position of headboards, etc and the builder and those involved drop the coins in the pillar hole/s, hang the fruit (offering) to the gods on the re bar , etc.

If Monks are passing along mum bo jumbo about when a house should be started/completed by date, I would ask if they are furnishing the expertise/labor to built as well as promoting the weather during the time frame???

If your refusal to finance said house on a hurry up basis is putting a strain on your relationship, count your LUCKY STARS, you found out early instead of later.

[Tonto21]

I feel the same way that you do. It feels like a form of extortion. I was hoping someone could either confirm or deny the monks prophecy so I might be able to call bullsh-t on them.

Hi 'Yager' "another day in paradise…a? OK mate I'm noexpert on this, I have however been through this, (in a positive why) when I built a house on the edge of a small Thai village. I'm certainly no expert or authority on this, so I'll just tell what I know about it.

Firstly making a distinction between Thai superstitions, Buddhism and 'free-lance Monks' making a nice side line for themselves. Lash firmly to the side of all this the fact that, if you do ever manage to better a Thai in a discussion………..He/She will just move the goal posts on you. Try and pushthe point and you will not only be seen as being ignorant, but now, rude!

The 'tea leafs' (I know…It's a metaphor) this is not Buddhism, could be a F/L Monk, but I'm sure this is the work of the village elders, these old boys know everything……And what they don't know, they make up.These guys are the keepers of Thai superstition and tradition.

The building of the house, the only time critical thing is planting the first, column, (up-right post) it's not Monks but the elders who do this and consult the 'big book' and will give a date for the planting, the longest I have ever heard anyone waiting to plant the post is 10 days, the other 'hang-time' is after the house is built, back to the 'big book' for a sleep there date, you can do everything,but sleep in the house until the date given. Even the 'spirit-house' is handled by the 'old boys' and the 'big book' department. You can, if you want, and can afford it have all the monks you want in attendance, at any time.

Have to say 'Yager' you don't need anyone to tell you what's going on. I think you know which way the land lies and what action you need to take, that's the easy bit, the following it out is the hard bit! Good luck.

Edited June 11, 2011 by Tonto21

[Mosha]

Well there is starting to build a house, and starting to build a house then. We went to "consult" the local shayman or whatever they call them. He took some notes, consulted his books and came up with a date. Our builder was busy, but he broke off his current job. His team drove in the 1st pile, the shayman uttered a few chants to ease the spirits, tied some cloth around the pile. That was the house started, and we waited a couple of months for the builder to return. Now if there is a time limit on the waiting I don't know.

[Kwasaki]

If you don`t give your outlaws the money you will burn in indamnation in the eternal depths of hell fire.

Reading the OP post, made me think, I do do that sometimes I thought to myself surely he should have sorted all that kind of thing out with his now Mrs before he married her.

Choice 'A' comply with the outlaws ( I do like that term ) and put yourself in debt.

Choice 'B' talk with your wife and try and come to an understanding about your financial position.

Choice 'C' if choice 'B' is successful your wife can tell them that they will have to wait until the four years is finished.

Choice 'D' when the four years is finished you can either decide to make a run for it or comply with Choice 'A' again.

[dunkin2012]

I Don't believe in anything especially those are not explainable by science or against my logic. If yah have t0 live or spend time with these people, I know it's hard. Gotta need lots of patience.

might be some true!!!!!!! but count me out....for the supernatural

Edited June 11, 2011 by dunkin2012

[Kwasaki]

This is a joke, right?

+1 apparently not by some of the replies, unbelievable.

[travelmann]

Tell em you went to see some higher monk than theirs and they said not give any money for house building for 20 years. Then add anyone asking for money would have a terrible curse put on them etc etc

Ill be building my house when Im ready and any monks mumbo jumbo little green men wrong type of bad luck trees nobody born here on a Tuesday etc can take a running jump. It may surprise many readers but some Thais dont believe in this crap either.

Edited June 11, 2011 by travelmann

[dunkin2012]

Tell em you went to see some higher monk than theirs and they said not give any money for house building for 20 years. Then add anyone asking for money would have a terrible curse put on them etc etc

Ill be building my house when Im ready and any monks mumbo jumbo little green men wrong type of bad luck trees nobody born here on a Tuesday etc can take a running jump. It may surprise many readers but some Thais dont believe in this crap either.

+1 he should do what you said above.

don't have your hair cut on Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and born in a particular year has to fix it up by giving?

a bunch of bullshit!!!!!!!!

[sunnyhor]

1. If ONLY building a house for them keep your relationship, go rob, snatch and find every solution to get the cash.

2. If you don't help it now, your girl will leave you? Just let go.

3. Sorry to say this, most Thai see Farangs are all rich, clever, and some just wanna marry to Farangs just to show other Thai they are "High" so. Which is very wrong Myth.

[Tonto21]

This is a joke, right?

+1 apparently not by some of the replies, unbelievable.

Guys, do you both think you are the only ones to see the likely hood of this topic being BS, you know the fact is; some 'troll' topics raise interesting aspects to living in Thailand. There are many a troll topic that will rate high in the replies…Whyis that? Is it because other TV'ers just don't have your cutting edge in-sight, or a finger on the pulse of life? No, it's because whether the topic is 'troll' or not, sometime, questions are raised that beg answers.

Sometimes, people overlook the blatant 'troll' post, to answer a genuine issue in Thailand, and anyway, how often do the replies stay on topic, more than not, the discussion find its own level though the replies.

But thanks for the head-up guys, please keep us posted.

Edited June 11, 2011 by Tonto21

[slapout]

As Tonto mentioned even troll posts sometimes deserve input. The topic of superstition comes up quite often on TV as does questions about some specific someone is questioning. There are exceptions to most all superstitious beliefs it seems, depending on the local and the individuals involved.

I showed my Thai wife and her father a 'Farmers Almanac' one time, and they got a laugh out of planting, cutting calves, weaning, etc which were timed by the moon phase. But they would not dare leave a spoon in the wash pan when they went to market to sell produce.

Good luck to the OP, he might tell them we farang have a different meaning for the 'wrong time of the moon', no gifts..

[dominique355]

Einstein once said: "Two things are without limits: the Universe and human stupidity, although I am not sure about the Universe."

But quite sure about human stupidity, even when dressed in a saffron robe.

Just a thought about the influence of stars and planets on our life: Some people believe that the position of stars and planets have an influence on people on the day they are born. When asked, how, they say the gravity and so. Would you believe that the gravity pull of the doctor or midwife present at the moment of birth is stronger than any planet or distant star?

[rucus7]

I will tell what has worked for me in the past and continues to work well. They probably assume you are a Christian, whether you are or not. Tell them in your Religion, lucky houses cannot be built in an odd number year (2011)This also works well for lucky Christian days of the month ETC. My wife is aware of my bending of the truth and is usually amused. Use your imagination. Make it up as you go.

[Tonto21]

I will tell what has worked for me in the past and continues to work well. They probably assume you are a Christian, whether you are or not. Tell them in your Religion, lucky houses cannot be built in an odd number year (2011)This also works well for lucky Christian days of the month ETC. My wife is aware of my bending of the truth and is usually amused. Use your imagination. Make it up as you go.

I'm am going to try this out on my girlfriend, just for a laugh and see how long it takes her to bite! She knows me now only too well now.

Edited June 11, 2011 by Tonto21

[Thongkorn]

I will tell what has worked for me in the past and continues to work well. They probably assume you are a Christian, whether you are or not. Tell them in your Religion, lucky houses cannot be built in an odd number year (2011)This also works well for lucky Christian days of the month ETC. My wife is aware of my bending of the truth and is usually amused. Use your imagination. Make it up as you go.

Have you Thai Blood in you, make it up as you go. Ha

[Richb2004v2]

This is a joke, right?

+1 apparently not by some of the replies, unbelievable.

Guys, do you both think you are the only ones to see the likely hood of this topic being BS, you know the fact is; some 'troll' topics raise interesting aspects to living in Thailand. There are many a troll topic that will rate high in the replies…Whyis that? Is it because other TV'ers just don't have your cutting edge in-sight, or a finger on the pulse of life? No, it's because whether the topic is 'troll' or not, sometime, questions are raised that beg answers.

Sometimes, people overlook the blatant 'troll' post, to answer a genuine issue in Thailand, and anyway, how often do the replies stay on topic, more than not, the discussion find its own level though the replies.

But thanks for the head-up guys, please keep us posted.

Regardless of if it is real or not I simply don't know how people put up with having such utter nonsense impinge upon their lives. If a vicar in their own country told them the same, how much value would they give his opinion?

[rocketmanbkk]

Is your wife pressurinsing you for cash? If she is with you for love she will be on you side about this and tell her parents to forget it and that you will build a house when it suits you and when you can afford to do it. Your priority is in your home country with your wife, kids, job and paying your bills not theirs.

I take it they do not live on the streets in their village so they have a house but just want, maybe because it has been discussed as some stage in the past, that you may build a house at some stage that they can then live in.

If your wife is saying she wants you to get the cash and bulid it now then I would need to question her loyalty to you in the 1st place and why she is with you. I don't mean to be harsh but honestly is the best policy.

From my experience, I have a Thai wife of 10 years, we built a house in Pattaya a few years ago because I wanted to and I thought it would be a good investment for my daughter. I was asked whether I wanted ot build up north (Udon) but said why? I don't go their on holiday, there is no beach, no one in the village speaks English, the hotels are pretty crap, my daughter would be bored outofo her mind with no pool/friends etc. so there is no point for me to build there, simple as that. It is accepted that I will never do it. The mother in law has a house in the village, nothing special as you can imagine and she also has quite a bit of land that is farmed for rice so again she's not wealthy but when she croaks my wife and her 2 brothers will share the land out. My wife will get her house that I would say was worth about 250,000bt so again very little.

Getting back to my response, if it were me being pressured or as you say it feels like extortion, I would in no shy way tell my wife to tell her parents to back off and as said if they want a house tell them to pay for it. Why should you?

Ask you wife why she is pressuring you and tell hers it's not happening no mamtter what the monks say. If then she gets upset maybe you will have an answer about what your relationship may be about - MONEY!

Good luck but be strong as this may be the 1st request, next you will have the new car, buffalo, money for the upkeep of the house. NOOOOOO I don't think so, set you stall out now or forever suffer!

Cheers.

I feel the same way that you do. It feels like a form of extortion. I was hoping someone could either confirm or deny the monks prophecy so I might be able to call bullsh-t on them.

[maprao]

Where is my hay?

[mario299]

Where is Yager???

mario299

[Kwasaki]

I will tell what has worked for me in the past and continues to work well. They probably assume you are a Christian, whether you are or not. Tell them in your Religion, lucky houses cannot be built in an odd number year (2011)This also works well for lucky Christian days of the month ETC. My wife is aware of my bending of the truth and is usually amused. Use your imagination. Make it up as you go.

I'm am going to try this out on my girlfriend, just for a laugh and see how long it takes her to bite! She knows me now only too well now.

You are going to try this on your girlfriend, just for a laugh, really !!! please let me know how it goes.

Edited June 11, 2011 by Kwasaki