Born A Virgin, Died A Virgin

[Boon Mee]

In a tiny village lived an old lady; a virgin, and very proud of it.

Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching and wanting to

make sure everything was in proper order when she died, she went to the

town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to

make the proper "final" arrangements. As a last wish, she informed the

undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her

tombstone:

"BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN AND PROUD OF IT".

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A few days after the

funeral, as the undertaker/postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone

that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the

tombstone that she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had

chosen.

He thought long and hard about how he could fulfill the old

maid's final request, considering the limited space available on the

small piece of stone. For days, he agonized over the dilemma. But

finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with

what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem.

The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it

read as follows:

"RETURNED UNOPENED"