Wikileaks Reveals Kristie Kenney’S Tweets Are Secret Coded Cia Assassination Orders

[Boater]

SATIRE:

BANGKOK – Yet another bombshell was dropped on the world of US-Thai relations when newly released Wikileaks revealed that the seemingly harmless Tweets of current US Ambassador to Thailand Kristie Kenney were in fact secret orders to CIA operatives.

The shocking revelation sheds new light on the ambassadors’ well-publicized habit of using the popular Twitter messaging service to announce random, trifling pieces of non-information to her followers, including self-absorbed status updates on daily activities and shallow, adolescent opinions on random bits of Thai culture.

Wikileaks 562, 588, and 592, which had been obtained by several news agencies and wire services, revealed a completely different Kristie Kenney than the smiling, happy-go-lucky woman portrayed in the Thai press. Cables sent back to Washington DC paint a portrait of a far more sinister player in the global war on terrorism, as well as a savvy, manipulative agent in the greater project of US global hegemony.

Kenney makes frequent references to her “public persona” and “show personality” in the context of something called “Operation Matroska,” in which Phase 1 requires the “establishment of plausible deniability and deep cover.” In passages certain to anger the journalists and reporters who have interviewed the deceitfully sunny and friendly ambassador, Kenney refers to the press as “unwitting viral operatives in the hearts and minds campaign.”

But the truly explosive revelations came in Wikileaks 604, where Kenney discussed the use of Twitter as a successful method for sending cold-blooded orders to CIA operatives who were in the field.

These operatives, working under deep cover on so-called Black Ops that are not officially recognized by the US government because of their illegal nature, are, according to the cables, cut off from all communication from official US government sources as part of their top-secret protocol. It is only through the public posting of Tweets that Kenney, herself a highly-trained CIA operative, was able to command and control the Black Ops.

The cables reveal in gruesome detail the code system that Kenney devised for the operations, including specific ways to order the torture and sometimes execution of suspected Al-Qaeda terror suspects who had been rendered to secret CIA holding facilities in Thailand.

According to Wikileaks 604, Kenney’s references to “spicy Thai food” in Tweets was in fact an order to use electroshock therapy on CIA prisoners, with the quantity of food supposedly eaten providing detailed instructions on voltage, duration, and the part of the body to be attacked to the clamp electrodes.

Additionally, any reference to partaking in Thailand’s famous beachside watersports was an order to use waterboarding on prisoners, a practice banned by the Geneva Convention.

In perhaps the most cynical and disturbing revelation, Kenney’s references to her followers as “Tweethearts” appears to be a codeword for an advanced psy-ops project that involves infiltration of Thailand’s most influential institutions with CIA-trained sleeper agents.

Analysts are now in the process of decoding the over 5000 Tweets sent by Kenney since taking office, and preliminary results reveal a chilling portrait of a uncompromising regime of extrajudicial brutality and death beneath a cheery, diplomatic exterior of friendly simple-mindedness and a fondness for papaya salad and banana boats.

Both the US Embassy in Thailand and the US State Department declined comment on the story, citing a policy to neither conform or deny anything related to Wikileaks.

Meanwhile, Ambassador Kenney continued to update her Twitter account today, announcing her excitement over an upcoming weekend trip to the Floating Market.

“Hope 2 get sme fresh chilis for homemade smtm, will it make my eyes burn? :> ” she said.

Satire source - http://notthenation.com/2011/07/wikileaks-reveals-kristie-kenney%e2%80%99s-tweets-are-secret-coded-cia-assassination-orders/

[Ulysses G.]

Looks like some of the posts on Thai Visa from left-leaning members!

[inzman]

Please somebody get a life, reading this crap makes wikileaks loose any credibility!

[happyrobert]

Her latest coded Tweet:

"At the Floating Market today, a very loud Boat got a hole in it and was sunk and disappeared under the water."

Wonder what that really means?

[JUDAS]

notthenation is always entertaining

[StreetCowboy]

Please somebody get a life, reading this crap makes wikileaks loose any credibility!

Loosing the terrible swift sword of satire.

Though the paen is mightier than the sword (I should set that to music...)

SC

[gregb]

That was really good.

Had me fooled the whole way through until I got to "notthenation"

[StreetCowboy]

That was really good.

Had me fooled the whole way through until I got to "notthenation"

I think Boater just lifts stuff verbatim from wikileaks and the Telegraph, and then sticks a 'notthenation' tag on it to give it some credibility.

Or perhaps in a desperate attempt to avoid falling foul of the draconian libel laws here.

SC

[Thaddeus]

Well, someone is either going to be laughing out loud or very pissed off.

[pmarlin]

Looks like some of the posts on Thai Visa from left-leaning members!

Not to mention most of it is BS

[Moonrakers]

.........

nevermind

Edited July 27, 2011 by Moonrakers

[bonobo]

I have a feeling she will think it is pretty funny. Not much seems to get her goat, and I think she will get a good laugh from it.

[Thongkorn]

Please somebody get a life, reading this crap makes wikileaks loose any credibility!

This was the theory about the shooting of John Kennedy, The person who shot Him was called by phone and given a trigger word which made the person commit an act of aggression then forget what he had done. because he was brain washed. and programed to kill. I think it was called Cy ops, and again for their Oklahoma bomber. I do not know if it is true maybe conspiracy theory. who knows

[KeyserSoze01]

Now, just where is my tin-foil hat?

[lomatopo]

I've never been a big fan of the notthenation website; the humor is sort of 8th 'gradish', poorly written, edited and produced, repetitive and has all the nuance of the typical sex-pat tourist it routinely mocks, and hardly comparable to The Onion. And calling the U.S. Ambassador "simple-minded" from behind the cloak of anonymity ("The author(s) of Not The Nation choose(s) to remain anonymous.) is cowardly. But given the dreck I understand why (t)he(y) wishes to remain anonymous.

I do find it ironic that whenever Boater posts a notthenation "article" he has to say it is "Satire" or "Humor" more than once.

Although the number of TV posters who believe these parody articles is a bit disconcerting, but maybe not surprising.

[StreetCowboy]

I've never been a big fan of the notthenation website; the humor is sort of 8th 'gradish', poorly written, edited and produced, repetitive and has all the nuance of the typical sex-pat tourist it routinely mocks, and hardly comparable to The Onion. And calling the U.S. Ambassador "simple-minded" from behind the cloak of anonymity ("The author(s) of Not The Nation choose(s) to remain anonymous.) is cowardly. But given the dreck I understand why (t)he(y) wishes to remain anonymous.

I do find it ironic that whenever Boater posts a notthenation "article" he has to say it is "Satire" or "Humor" more than once.

Although the number of TV posters who believe these parody articles is a bit disconcerting, but maybe not surprising.

As if anyone would believe anything they read on the internet.

SC

EDIT: For Thongkorn: Sigh-Ops; Oh well... If Lee Harvey had had a bike, it would have been Cycl-ops. Keep an eye out for that...

Edited July 28, 2011 by StreetCowboy

[Phatcharanan]

I've never been a big fan of the notthenation website; the humor is sort of 8th 'gradish', poorly written, edited and produced, repetitive and has all the nuance of the typical sex-pat tourist it routinely mocks, and hardly comparable to The Onion. And calling the U.S. Ambassador "simple-minded" from behind the cloak of anonymity ("The author(s) of Not The Nation choose(s) to remain anonymous.) is cowardly. But given the dreck I understand why (t)he(y) wishes to remain anonymous.

I do find it ironic that whenever Boater posts a notthenation "article" he has to say it is "Satire" or "Humor" more than once.

Although the number of TV posters who believe these parody articles is a bit disconcerting, but maybe not surprising.

The above is very poorly written. Jing jing.

[billd766]

That was really good.

Had me fooled the whole way through until I got to "notthenation"

Me too