In about a week I will be in Bangers to pick up a very good friend (my Father actually). He has been to Thailand a couple of times but just for quick holidays, this time will be an extended holiday.

What would you say are the 10 most important things I should clue him up on so he gets the most enjoyment and satisfation from the holiday?

1) Everything is for sale

2. Wear good shoes and watch where you walk.

if get asked if it is the first time in Thailand, tell no, you came already 10 times here. so you are not the fresh Dollar machine...

Bar-girls - they don't make good long-term wives 95 % of the time and are experts at taking the cash of new arrivals.

Look to the 'right' before crossing a street. But since this is Bangkok look to the right before getting onto the sidewalk (motor bikes you know).

Learn to bargain, except with the taxi-meters.

Learn to distinguish between thai girls, and thai girl wannabees.

dress low key and comfortable, don't ring the bell, move around so you don't become a sitting duck, drink slow and cheap, don't tip unless it was really good, care small notes and learn the notes too, don't fall in love, have a nick name, don't tell all your secrets in one sitting, relax and have fun. Forgot , don't bring anything that you don't care to lose.

Get Insurance.

dont mention the royal family

dont pay too much attention to the opinions of farrang bar-flies knocking back bottle after bottle of singha... some have come to have a very bitter and distorted view on life in LoS

dont be conned into hiring long sleeve shirts, or socks by touts outside of some of the more touristy wats... these garments can be hired for less within the temple grounds (wat prah gaew) (spelling) temple of the emerald buddha - in particular.

smile - it is usefull in many situations, especially for saving face

however if you smile at every girl in nana plaza etc you may well get mobbed!

See it, feel it, enjoy it.................but when you get back to Farangland, don't talk about it.

Get Insurance.

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forgot that one.... very very important

Prickly Heat Powder for 31 Baht at 7-eleven.

Best investment your Dad will make in Thailand!

Cheers YBB

BKK is hot. Don't make the mistake of trying to dress up for a city.

Vests/ cotton t shirts and shorts if going shopping in the day time.

Get Anti-Mozzie Cream Lotion that contains "Citronella".

Get Anti-Mozzie Cream Lotion that contains "Citronella".

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What's wrong with old fashioned DEET

Chers YBB

Get Anti-Mozzie Cream Lotion that contains "Citronella".

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What's wrong with old fashioned DEET

Chers YBB

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"Citronella" does contain 13% Deet,but not to much that your legs burn to death.

"Citronella" does contain 13% Deet,but not to much that your legs burn to death.

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My legs are so ###### hairy that even the baddest/meanest mossie could not get through!

Cheers YBB

and remember...always wear sunscreen.

and a condom.

Always, and I mean ALWAYS keep some toilet paper in your bag, pocket or anywhere on you. One day, you are really going to need it

Always, and I mean ALWAYS keep some toilet paper in your bag, pocket or anywhere on you. One day, you are really going to need it

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and on that note - be carefull what you eat before embarking on longer journeys...

a couple of imodium before a long bus or train journey can make all the difference, especially when you see or smell some of the toilets on those overnight trains!

learn how to use spoon instead fork when eat

Don't leave your drink unattended in a bar!

learn how to control your THING when wee wee .. coz u will have a helping hand massage your back in the loo !!

learn  how to control your  THING  when  wee wee .. coz  u will have a  helping hand massage your back in the loo !!

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I wish you posted that one about 3 years ago

Top 10 Tips

1) Never use yr leg to point at things very rude, also do not touch any Thai on the head he could kill u for that

2)dont fall in love with a Thai Bar girl, she is looking fo0r ATM urgently

3)Never eat at the road side stall unless u are a thai

4)Never listen to all teh sob storeis by the Bar Girl, u could write a book from these stores and then publish it, they all have alot of stories to tell u

5)All message ladies and Bar ladies could be related to teh mafia so be careful

6)Always have the correct fare to the taxi, drivers never fall for teh trick of no change

7)Do not fall for the guy who say today only Thai silk for u only, great con job thsi one

8)Always take the Taxi by Meter, or else get out, if the Taxi says he knows the place after 2 hours of driving to nowhere get out and change taxi, he is lost

9)Never go to the Messaeg palours that are rec by taxi thye haev commission

10)Alway wear a condom, better be safe than sorry

1) Photocopy your passport. Keep your original in hotel safety box and only carry your copy. This should suffice w/most police if id checked.

2) Email to yourself all pertinent bank/credit card/ financial/ insurance info so that if you lose, u can always look it up on the internet.

3) Eating at food stalls are ok as long as you make sure all food is thoroughly boiled and cooked to kill bacteria. (some of my fav food is at stalls)

4) Buy a proper bike helmet if you plan to ride.

5) Bring out only enough $ that you are prepared to lose for the day. Keep all other $ in your ATM. If you have to take out a larger amount, break it up into 3 locations on your body. (1. wallet in pocket, 2. underwear, 3. socks)

6) Always cover your pin at ATM's and if the machine looks odd, use another one to avoid cash skimming machines.

7) Keep business cards of hotel or residences that you stay at to show taxi drivers.

8) Never take any recreational drugs!!!

9) If you indulge in bargirls, accept that they are "working girls". Harshly, they are prostitutes. Never confuse that fact and enjoy your business transaction. Fall in love, and u r setting yourself up for trouble. Plenty of non working girls to date.

10) ALWAYS SMILE.

ALWAYS have a smile on your lips no matter what the situation.

Don't tuck your shirt into your pants or worse still; your underpants...

Don't wear socks and sandals....

Don't wear black dress shoes, black socks and shorts

Don't go topless in Bkk

Don't wear braces (suspenders)

Don't wear suspenders (garters)

Don't wear a knotted hanky on your head

Don't wear a thong (g-string) on the beach

Don't wear flip-flops (thongs) in posh hotels/restaurants

Don't wear singlet (sleeveless shirt) in the evenings

Carrying toilet paper is a good idea. I have switched to folded paper towels. Paper towels hold their shape in your pocket, have many more uses and they don't tear easily.

Get a shave and a haircut first day. He will look and feel smart right off the bat. And get a real shave not one of those plastic disposable razors. (I hope he likes his hair short because that is what he is going to get.)

Wear a money belt so the pockets aren't so full with objects.