Do You Consider Negative Use Of Phrase, That'S So Gay

[Jingthing]

This issue has now come up on the forum.

Obviously I strongly feel it is hate speech and should not be tolerated.

What do you think?

Edited August 16, 2011 by Jingthing

[Ijustwannateach]

I certainly don't encourage it, although I don't in search of it through the forum for every instance of its use (or of other 'friendly' straight homophobic dialogue). As usual, if a post offends, please do REPORT it

[Jingthing]

I certainly don't encourage it, although I don't in search of it through the forum for every instance of its use (or of other 'friendly' straight homophobic dialogue). As usual, if a post offends, please do REPORT it

I did. I think it's wrong, offensive, clearly homophobic, clearly referring to how gay (same sex loving) people supposedly look and act in a very negative way. It is not about the old "happy" definition of gay at all. No it's not the worse thing in the world, but if hate speech against Thais or Brits isn't allowed here, why is it OK to insult gay people?

Edited August 16, 2011 by Jingthing

[thaicbr]

Jingthing..

Have you ever considered that because gay people like yourself get so irate about the use of a word it actually gets used more..

I personally do not like being called a Brit by americans because i believe it is used as a slur. I'm not a Brit.

I'm either English or British.

[richard_smith237]

So is he 'a happy looking' chappy to have a top box on his bike or not?

Ok ok... I read that topic and thought some PC fellow might get offended... But really is it that bad?

People read what they want to into a phrase or situation..

Does wearing pink make me look like a faggot?

Does wearing pink make me look like I like I bat for both teams?

Does wearing pink make me look less manly?

Does wearing pink make me look less cool?

We all know the most PC phrase above, but it removes some of the colour from the question.... But the first comment is understandably offensive...

Is being gay or looking gay offensive to anyone these days?

This topic is perhaps a little over PC IMO.

I think there are perhaps already reasonable boundaries that most people use...

Do you really wish to be treated with kid gloves?

[jdinasia]

http://thatssogaylive.com/

A news source for the LGBTQ community ....... obviously if we can use it .. so can they.

One of the reasons I love Thailand is that it isn't a nanny state and it isn't overly PC. Crying about a colloquialism that is not being used in a hateful way makes gay people look weak and pitiful, neither of which I want to be considered.

Richard_ --- you pretty much pegged how I feel about it. I am not so sensitive and I certainly don't think that the OP meant to be offensive to gays in that other thread. He was just using a simple colloquialism. We aren't in the USA and a PSA aimed at teens and taunting in schools certainly isn't applicable to adults in Thailand

[Jingthing]

Jingthing..

Have you ever considered that because gay people like yourself get so irate about the use of a word it actually gets used more..

I personally do not like being called a Brit by americans because i believe it is used as a slur. I'm not a Brit.

I'm either English or British.

Is it really true that most British people don't like being called Brits? I am doubtful. BTW, I don't think most Americans mind being called Yanks, though probably most of the more provincial ones don't encounter that much (and would care even less). I am pretty clear that most gay people don't like the way the phrase "that's so gay" has developed. No, I can't prove it but that is my strong feeling.

[Jingthing]

http://thatssogaylive.com/

A news source for the LGBTQ community ....... obviously if we can use it .. so can they.

One of the reasons I love Thailand is that it isn't a nanny state and it isn't overly PC. Crying about a colloquialism that is not being used in a hateful way makes gay people look weak and pitiful, neither of which I want to be considered.

Richard_ --- you pretty much pegged how I feel about it. I am not so sensitive and I certainly don't think that the OP meant to be offensive to gays in that other thread. He was just using a simple colloquialism. We aren't in the USA and a PSA aimed at teens and taunting in schools certainly isn't applicable to adults in Thailand

Nope. We can call OURSELVES queers, fags, whatever. Much like the N word. It is generally not so appreciated much by most of us when others use terms like that in a negative way. The website you cite is clearly in that same vein, turning it around in an ironic way.

I respect your right to a minority opinion, but I would bet the house most gay people don't like to be insulted by people who disrespect us with the that's so gay thing. Yes, in this case I AM saying I speak for gay people more authoritatively than you do.

So, let's get real here, dude. Do you think African Americans who now have one of their own as a President to look up to, are really weak for aggressively opposing others from using the N word? The opposite actually. It makes them look VERY STRONG indeed, and for the most part, their disapproval of such hate speech has been very successful in stopping that in civilized society and media.

Edited August 16, 2011 by Jingthing

[Jingthing]

So is he 'a happy looking' chappy to have a top box on his bike or not?

If you don't put a box on your bike because you think it makes you look gay, you clearly think being gay is a bad thing. So why not just say does it look bad, does it look stupid? Why bring more dirt on a hated minority group into a discussion about bike accessories?

[tombkk]

I heard the phrase "that's so gay" in a real-life context for the first time a few months ago. It was about some really ugly pairs of shoes.

Anyway, I didn't feel offended at all, rather amused. This is another usage of the word "gay", nothing to do with homosexuality. Look up "homonym" - and don't be offended by that word either.

[Jingthing]

I heard the phrase "that's so gay" in a real-life context for the first time a few months ago. It was about some really ugly pairs of shoes.

Anyway, I didn't feel offended at all, rather amused. This is another usage of the word "gay", nothing to do with homosexuality. Look up "homonym" - and don't be offended by that word either.

I accept that you THINK the phrase has nothing to do homosexuality. However, I don't accept that it actually doesn't. So not sure we have anything to discuss further unless you can prove that the use of gay in your example doesn't refer to the mainstream meaning of gay (same sex orientation, etc.).

Edited August 16, 2011 by Jingthing

[danbradster]

It's immature and bogan language to me as an Aussie.

[tombkk]

So is he 'a happy looking' chappy to have a top box on his bike or not?

If you don't put a box on your bike because you think it makes you look gay, you clearly think being gay is a bad thing. So why not just say does it look bad, does it look stupid? Why bring more dirt on a hated minority group into a discussion about bike accessories?

I'm not following... which hated minority group are you referring to? Maybe a link to that thread would be in order.

[jdinasia]

Jingthing..

Have you ever considered that because gay people like yourself get so irate about the use of a word it actually gets used more..

I personally do not like being called a Brit by americans because i believe it is used as a slur. I'm not a Brit.

I'm either English or British.

Is it really true that most British people don't like being called Brits? I am doubtful. BTW, I don't think most Americans mind being called Yanks, though probably most of the more provincial ones don't encounter that much (and would care even less). I am pretty clear that most gay people don't like the way the phrase "that's so gay" has developed. No, I can't prove it but that is my strong feeling.

My last post to you on the topic before someone gets their nose out of joint ......

I use the phrase. My gay Thai friends use the phrase. We use the phrase about other OTT gay people but we also use the phrase in general ways. It is a common colloquialism. The other topic was not imho meant to be offensive. You certainly aren't speaking for me or the majority of gay people I know and if the intent wasn't to offend then it becomes a matter for the PC Thought-police and the overly PC crowd.

Fight for years to get the word "gay" acceptable .... and then people try and tell me how to use it? No thanks.

As richard_s pointed out "faggot" coming from anyone's mouth would probably get me riled up and would rate an ass-whoopin .... "That's so gay" is just harmless unless, perhaps you are a gay teen in the USA just coming out ... then again ...

[Jingthing]

So is he 'a happy looking' chappy to have a top box on his bike or not?

If you don't put a box on your bike because you think it makes you look gay, you clearly think being gay is a bad thing. So why not just say does it look bad, does it look stupid? Why bring more dirt on a hated minority group into a discussion about bike accessories?

I'm not following... which hated minority group are you referring to? Maybe a link to that thread would be in order.

Read the OP.

[thaicbr]

Jingthing..

Have you ever considered that because gay people like yourself get so irate about the use of a word it actually gets used more..

I personally do not like being called a Brit by americans because i believe it is used as a slur. I'm not a Brit.

I'm either English or British.

Is it really true that most British people don't like being called Brits? I am doubtful. BTW, I don't think most Americans mind being called Yanks, though probably most of the more provincial ones don't encounter that much (and would care even less). I am pretty clear that most gay people don't like the way the phrase "that's so gay" has developed. No, I can't prove it but that is my strong feeling.

Yep you fell into my trap nicely. I said 'I personally' didn't mention anything about other people from England.. But your doubtful.. Why?

So may WE be doubtful about most gay people being upset with that thread..or is it just you.. who are making so much of it.

May i ask ..is it 1) most gay people in America or 2) around the world are upset with how the word is used? or 3) both.

[Jingthing]

If gay people use it amongst themselves ironically, that's completely different than it being used as an insult by non-gay people. Do you imagine those people are saying something positive about gay people? It is always used to indicate something very negative, to be avoided, and mocked. Again, see the example of the way the N word is used.

BTW, I actually don't even believe that most English speaking gay people use the phrase that's so gay much amongst themselves. Perhaps a poll is in order, have at it. I DO believe gay kids in homophobic environments DO use the phrase to show they are not gay, because here they are, insulting gays along with the majority. That you have to admit, is sad.

Edited August 16, 2011 by Jingthing

[Jingthing]

Jingthing..

Have you ever considered that because gay people like yourself get so irate about the use of a word it actually gets used more..

I personally do not like being called a Brit by americans because i believe it is used as a slur. I'm not a Brit.

I'm either English or British.

Is it really true that most British people don't like being called Brits? I am doubtful. BTW, I don't think most Americans mind being called Yanks, though probably most of the more provincial ones don't encounter that much (and would care even less). I am pretty clear that most gay people don't like the way the phrase "that's so gay" has developed. No, I can't prove it but that is my strong feeling.

Yep you fell into my trap nicely. I said 'I personally' didn't mention anything about other people from England.. But your doubtful.. Why?

So may WE be doubtful about most gay people being upset with that thread..or is it just you.. who are making so much of it.

May i ask ..is it 1) most gay people in America or 2) around the world are upset with how the word is used? or 3) both.

If you want statistics, you're barking up the wrong tree. They don't even exist.

I would stop using Brits if I was convinced it was something most Brits feel insulted about. I have used the term many times directly to Brit's faces and no reaction, so were they just being polite? I remain unconvinced, but open minded on it. Yes, on reflection, perhaps they were offended and were thinking I am a c--t, so like I said, I remain open minded.

Edited August 16, 2011 by Jingthing

[thaicbr]

Jingthing..

Have you ever considered that because gay people like yourself get so irate about the use of a word it actually gets used more..

I personally do not like being called a Brit by americans because i believe it is used as a slur. I'm not a Brit.

I'm either English or British.

Is it really true that most British people don't like being called Brits? I am doubtful. BTW, I don't think most Americans mind being called Yanks, though probably most of the more provincial ones don't encounter that much (and would care even less). I am pretty clear that most gay people don't like the way the phrase "that's so gay" has developed. No, I can't prove it but that is my strong feeling.

Yep you fell into my trap nicely. I said 'I personally' didn't mention anything about other people from England.. But your doubtful.. Why?

So may WE be doubtful about most gay people being upset with that thread..or is it just you.. who are making so much of it.

May i ask ..is it 1) most gay people in America or 2) around the world are upset with how the word is used? or 3) both.

If you want statistics, you're barking up the wrong tree. They don't even exist.

I would stop using Brits if I was convinced it was something most Brits feel insulted about it. I have used the term many times directly to Brit's faces and no reaction, so were they just being polite? I remain unconvinced, but open minded on it.

Exactly...So stop barking about it.

[Jingthing]

We can have discussions and strongly held opinions about abstract things like this without the need for hard scientific evidence. I don't think it's really a big stretch to assert that most members of ANY widely hated group in the context of their dominant culture (examples, gays, Muslims, Jews, gypsies, Mexicans, etc.) generally appreciates being denigrated and insulted, either directly with slur words or with coy trendy phrases such as that's so gay (when clearly used in a very negative context).

Edited August 16, 2011 by Jingthing

[tombkk]

So is he 'a happy looking' chappy to have a top box on his bike or not?

If you don't put a box on your bike because you think it makes you look gay, you clearly think being gay is a bad thing. So why not just say does it look bad, does it look stupid? Why bring more dirt on a hated minority group into a discussion about bike accessories?

I'm not following... which hated minority group are you referring to? Maybe a link to that thread would be in order.

Read the OP.

I can only find references to gay people, who certainly are not a hated minority group.

[tombkk]

Jingthing..

Have you ever considered that because gay people like yourself get so irate about the use of a word it actually gets used more..

I personally do not like being called a Brit by americans because i believe it is used as a slur. I'm not a Brit.

I'm either English or British.

Is it really true that most British people don't like being called Brits? I am doubtful. BTW, I don't think most Americans mind being called Yanks, though probably most of the more provincial ones don't encounter that much (and would care even less). I am pretty clear that most gay people don't like the way the phrase "that's so gay" has developed. No, I can't prove it but that is my strong feeling.

Yep you fell into my trap nicely. I said 'I personally' didn't mention anything about other people from England.. But your doubtful.. Why?

So may WE be doubtful about most gay people being upset with that thread..or is it just you.. who are making so much of it.

May i ask ..is it 1) most gay people in America or 2) around the world are upset with how the word is used? or 3) both.

JT is the only one who is upset, methinks.

[Jingthing]

I can only find references to gay people, who certainly are not a hated minority group.

Where do you get your rose colored glasses? Tell that a gay Ugandan, if you can find one alive.

Edited August 16, 2011 by Jingthing

[Jingthing]

JT is the only one who is upset, methinks.

I am not upset but understand why you think I am. I object to the use of gay that way by people disrespecting us. Not the same thing as being upset.

[jdinasia]

JT is the only one who is upset, methinks.

Concur

I'd make some flippant remark about the phrase itself and this thread in particular .... but I'll restrain myself

[tombkk]

I heard the phrase "that's so gay" in a real-life context for the first time a few months ago. It was about some really ugly pairs of shoes.

Anyway, I didn't feel offended at all, rather amused. This is another usage of the word "gay", nothing to do with homosexuality. Look up "homonym" - and don't be offended by that word either.

I accept that you THINK the phrase has nothing to do homosexuality. However, I don't accept that it actually doesn't. So not sure we have anything to discuss further unless you can prove that the use of gay in your example doesn't refer to the mainstream meaning of gay (same sex orientation, etc.).

Homonym does not mean that one usage or all must be mainstream. In fact, I don't need to prove anything.

I'm not offended, and I can ask my friends about their feeling. My bet is that most gay people I know wouldn't feel offended.

Next...

[Jingthing]

JT is the only one who is upset, methinks.

Concur

I'd make some flippant remark about the phrase itself and this thread in particular .... but I'll restrain myself

Didn't you say you were finished with this thread? BTW, do you and your gay friends REALLY say that's so gay all the time? I've thought about this and methinks you are fibbing big time. It's not something gay people would generally say. There is no reason to say it, except ironically, so I'll give you that. But otherwise, gay people wouldn't use it is an INSULT and tool of derision which is its clear mainstream use. So if gay people wanted to say something is so gay in a POSITIVE way, why say that's so gay? There are much better, and more common ways for gay people to express approval of something in the world.

Edited August 16, 2011 by Jingthing

[tombkk]

We can have discussions and strongly held opinions about abstract things like this without the need for hard scientific evidence.

Of course you are right. Why confuse you with facts when you have made up your mind already?

[jdinasia]

My last post to you on the topic before someone gets their nose out of joint ......

I use the phrase. My gay Thai friends use the phrase. We use the phrase about other OTT gay people but we also use the phrase in general ways. It is a common colloquialism. The other topic was not imho meant to be offensive. You certainly aren't speaking for me or the majority of gay people I know and if the intent wasn't to offend then it becomes a matter for the PC Thought-police and the overly PC crowd.

Fight for years to get the word "gay" acceptable .... and then people try and tell me how to use it? No thanks.

As richard_s pointed out "faggot" coming from anyone's mouth would probably get me riled up and would rate an ass-whoopin .... "That's so gay" is just harmless unless, perhaps you are a gay teen in the USA just coming out ... then again ...

Sorry about breaking my own statement and replying to JT again (indirectly) with this post showing what I said.

edit --- BTW I don't particularly care for being called a liar, JT.

Edited August 16, 2011 by jdinasia

[Jingthing]

Homonym does not mean that one usage or all must be mainstream. In fact, I don't need to prove anything.

I'm not offended, and I can ask my friends about their feeling. My bet is that most gay people I know wouldn't feel offended.

Next...

I reckon you are from a country/group where the phrase that's so gay isn't used much because it's clear to me you don't really understand how it is used in cultures where it is used widely. I am not really sure whether the phrase is mainly an Americanism or not, but of course it is huge in the US, and it is recognized by educated non-homophobic people as definitely "not nice" to gay people.

Edited August 16, 2011 by Jingthing