Which Sex Is Really In Charge In Thailand?

[IMA_FARANG]

Just wondering what the reponse would be to this question:

From your experience in Thailand...which sex is really in charge in the typical Thai family, Thai males or Thai females?

From my experience...although Thai males claim they are in charge...it's the Thai females who control raising the children, the household expenses (food, etc.), the children's education, and the religion (i.e. dealings with the local Wat)...all of which gives them tremendous power in the household.

So, in fact, the women control the household.

Take the poll, and then make a comment.

[HeavyDrinker]

We men get to puff our chests out and be the man of the house but the women is behind everything pulling the strings.

I haven't seen a bill in 10 years but paid plenty. The only thing I have a say about around the house or about the running of the house is the garden as that's my hobby and pride and joy.

There is a lot of truth in the old adage about "The wife being the hind legs of the elephant" (สามีเป็นช้างเท้าหน้า….ภรรยาเป็นช้างเท้าหลัง)

[Tarric]

In my experience the man is in control, if my family and extended family is anything to go by. At the end of the day in Thailand the only power a Thai woman has in a traditional Thai family is the power the man gives her.

Obviously there are exceptions to this, I just havent personally experienced them.

The role of women and the Thai elites having "minor wives" was one of the many reasons my mother decided to marry a Western man so she could be treated as an equal.

Its also the same reason my two great aunts decided to remain unmarried so they could retain the power over their land and investments.

[frankylove]

not sure about thai families but i notice most farang / thai couples it seems the GF or wife who is in charge.... lot of soppy guys now living here under the thumb of there other half..

[welsh1]

Behind every successful man,, there is a great woman,,,, and behind every great woman there is a another man staring at her ass

[zzaa09]

Thailand is clearly a matriarchal and matrilineal existence.

But, like numerous cultures - pretends to be patriarcal male dominated on the surface.

[kerryk]

What is really interesting about this poll is so many people understand what zza09 said and agree with him, including myself.

[Johnniey]

ช้างเท้าหลัง chang tao lang

Don't ask your wife what this means - it is a phrase often used by Thai men referring to the woman as the hind legs of an elephant, meaning men are the leaders.

I'm surprised at the outcome of the poll - seems like posters are walking around with their eyes and ears closed.Alternatively, it maybe says a lot about the type of Thai women who marry men from abroad.

Edited August 23, 2011 by Johnniey

[lovelaos]

Thailand is clearly a matriarchal and matrilineal existence.

But, like numerous cultures - pretends to be patriarcal male dominated on the surface.

Why do you feel the need to use such long words in EVERY post you make?

Are you trying to prove how intelligent you are?

To the OP, it's definately women

[Kwasaki]

What is really interesting about this poll is so many people understand what zza09 said and agree with him, including myself.

Yes I agree with him too !!! the online Oxford dictionary has been busy today.

[lovelomsak]

I should revoke my vote I thought the question was about the country and after voting found out it was about households. I truly believe the households are ran by the women. But the country is ran by men.

I didnot read the post before voting only the caption sorry.

Edited August 23, 2011 by lovelomsak

[andrewbkk]

I'm surprised at the outcome of the poll - seems like posters are walking around with their eyes and ears closed.

Do you actually live in Thailand?

[Johnniey]

I'm surprised at the outcome of the poll - seems like posters are walking around with their eyes and ears closed.

Do you actually live in Thailand?

Full time since 1986

[andrewbkk]

I'm surprised at the outcome of the poll - seems like posters are walking around with their eyes and ears closed.

Do you actually live in Thailand?

Full time since 1986

Me -- full time since 1999. But I personally agree with the outcome of this poll.

[doji]

I'm surprised at the outcome of the poll - seems like posters are walking around with their eyes and ears closed.

Do you actually live in Thailand?

Full time since 1986

It's not the length, but the "strength"

The poll's result so far is correct.

Edited August 23, 2011 by doji

[Darrel]

As this is a poll about Thailand it should have included the third sex option.

[kerryk]

It is instinctual, hereditary or some freak of eating Jasmine rice. Even part time women. If they spend the night and sometimes even less they begin to clean and put away things. Stage two is organization. They seem to have some instinct like a homing pigeon that directs them regardless of the consequences to organize things. I don't know at what age this starts but I suspect Thai infant girls organize their cribs if they have cribs. Thai boys throw things around and the Thai girls put them back.

With the organization comes control. They are the only ones who know where stuff is. I have had to call up ex girlfriends to ask where something was. “Where did you put the lube, sweetheart I cant find it and where is that little vibrator shaped like a fish that we bought at Lotus?”

My grandfather on one side was Prussian and he controlled the home, my other grandfather was Irish and the only thing he controlled was his beer when grandma bought it for him. I know first hand the difference between control and non control. Thai women are like the Borg, resistance is futile.

[IMA_FARANG]

Interesting results.

I thought a lot of people would disagree with me that although men were supposedly the rulers in a Thai family, in fact, as my my eperience told me, the women actually run a normal Thai family.

It seems like a surprising number came to the same conclusion I did.

By the way, I said nothing about only families with mixed Thai/farang marriages, did I? Maybe some posters simply assumed that was what I was referring to.

In fact, the first family I knew in Thailand well was a Thai/Chinese family that ran a guesthouse. Even went out on a couple of "booze and broads" runs of the local bars with some of them.

That gave me the idea for this poll...because it seemed to me is this Thai/Chinese family...Grandfather was supposedly in charge....but when the Grandmother made a decision...nobody...even Grandfather... opposed it.

Grandmother was definately really in charge, Grandfather was just a figurehead.

I just wondered if anyone else had seen the same thing as I did.

My Thai girlfriend has a number of sisters and brothers who are married. In my experience in all of those Thai/Thai marriages (no farangs involved) the women are definately the stronger partner...even if they let the men think that they are in charge.

Edited August 23, 2011 by IMA_FARANG

[HeavyDrinker]

Quoteช้างเท้าหลัง chang tao lang

Don't ask your wife what this means - it is a phrase often used by Thai men referring to the woman as the hind legs of an elephant, meaning men are the leaders

No it's not. It's more used by women. It' means that while the men appear to be leading, it is the women who are the real driving force.

For me, as with many here no doubt, my wife took control of the running of the home as soon as we moved here.

There was no big issue about it. It just was. I knew enough about Thailand to know that when I was posted here she would handle everything in that respect, not just because she was Thai but because she was the woman, and in Thai society it was down to her.

At first I wanted to be involved but she had it all under control so the only real input I had/have was her taking the brass out of my bank to pay my share of the bills each month.

[welsh1]

As this is a poll about Thailand it should have included the third sex option.

What ever floats your boat

[Johnniey]

It is instinctual, hereditary or some freak of eating Jasmine rice.

Even part time women.

If they spend the night and sometimes even less they begin to clean and put away things. Stage two is organization. They seem to have some instinct like a homing pigeon that directs them regardless of the consequences to organize things. I don't know at what age this starts but I suspect Thai infant girls organize their cribs if they have cribs. Thai boys throw things around and the Thai girls put them back.

With the organization comes control. They are the only ones who know where stuff is. I have had to call up ex girlfriends to ask where something was. “Where did you put the lube, sweetheart I cant find it and where is that little vibrator shaped like a fish that we bought at Lotus?”

My grandfather on one side was Prussian and he controlled the home, my other grandfather was Irish and the only thing he controlled was his beer when grandma bought it for him. I know first hand the difference between control and non control. Thai women are like the Borg, resistance is futile.

Pray tell, what is a part-time woman?

[Johnniey]

Quoteช้างเท้าหลัง chang tao lang

Don't ask your wife what this means - it is a phrase often used by Thai men referring to the woman as the hind legs of an elephant, meaning men are the leaders

No it's not. It's more used by women. It' means that while the men appear to be leading, it is the women who are the real driving force.

For me, as with many here no doubt, my wife took control of the running of the home as soon as we moved here.

There was no big issue about it. It just was. I knew enough about Thailand to know that when I was posted here she would handle everything in that respect, not just because she was Thai but because she was the woman, and in Thai society it was down to her.

At first I wanted to be involved but she had it all under control so the only real input I had/have was her taking the brass out of my bank to pay my share of the bills each month.

Yes it is, it's more used by men as a remark about them leading the way. I can only assume you don't socialize with Thai men. Women do say it too but it is said in a jokingly way unlike the derogatory way it's often said by men.

[HeavyDrinker]

Yes it is, it's more used by men as a remark about them leading the way.

No its not.

Look it up the full quote and see.

When used at just "ช้างเท้าหลัง" it's a little like "the missus", or (for cockneys) "Er'indoors."

Nothing to do with the man being in control at all. If anything it's almost a fearful reference to the wife.

I think you need to go back to Thai culture 101 especially if you've been here since 1986...

One thing of interest here is that no one has posted saying "I'm the man of the house" etc as yet....

[kerryk]

It is instinctual, hereditary or some freak of eating Jasmine rice.

Even part time women.

If they spend the night and sometimes even less they begin to clean and put away things. Stage two is organization. They seem to have some instinct like a homing pigeon that directs them regardless of the consequences to organize things. I don't know at what age this starts but I suspect Thai infant girls organize their cribs if they have cribs. Thai boys throw things around and the Thai girls put them back.

With the organization comes control. They are the only ones who know where stuff is. I have had to call up ex girlfriends to ask where something was. “Where did you put the lube, sweetheart I cant find it and where is that little vibrator shaped like a fish that we bought at Lotus?”

My grandfather on one side was Prussian and he controlled the home, my other grandfather was Irish and the only thing he controlled was his beer when grandma bought it for him. I know first hand the difference between control and non control. Thai women are like the Borg, resistance is futile.

Pray tell, what is a part-time woman?

I meant it as a woman who was a "live in" part time although I guess depending on your sexual preference it could mean many things. Like the man said whatever floats your boat.

[andrewbkk]

It is instinctual, hereditary or some freak of eating Jasmine rice.

Even part time women.

If they spend the night and sometimes even less they begin to clean and put away things. Stage two is organization. They seem to have some instinct like a homing pigeon that directs them regardless of the consequences to organize things. I don't know at what age this starts but I suspect Thai infant girls organize their cribs if they have cribs. Thai boys throw things around and the Thai girls put them back.

With the organization comes control. They are the only ones who know where stuff is. I have had to call up ex girlfriends to ask where something was. "Where did you put the lube, sweetheart I cant find it and where is that little vibrator shaped like a fish that we bought at Lotus?"

My grandfather on one side was Prussian and he controlled the home, my other grandfather was Irish and the only thing he controlled was his beer when grandma bought it for him. I know first hand the difference between control and non control. Thai women are like the Borg, resistance is futile.

Pray tell, what is a part-time woman?

I meant it as a woman who was a "live in" part time although I guess depending on your sexual preference it could mean many things. Like the man said whatever floats your boat.

NEVER reply to someone who says "pray tell". Trink used to say that. Remember?

I've come across several people on this forum who learned their English from Trink.

I find them amusing. But I also pity them.

[HeavyDrinker]

NEVER reply to someone who says "pray tell". Trink used to say that. Remember?

I've come across several people on this forum who learned their English from Trink.

I find them amusing. But I also pity them.

Brilliant!

Over to you. I have to go and visit some caravanserais to drink some suds with some fellow elbow benders.

TIT...

[Mirth]

Women are in charge in asian society but when it comes to the crunch, the men takes over. The philosophy in asia is that men earns the bread while the women tends the roost. In other words, the women rule the house. Very seldom would there be a matriach cos the line is clearly defined, unless the man is a complete waste of rice and oxygen.

[ChristopherWilliamsBKK]

ช้างเท้าหลัง chang tao lang

Don't ask your wife what this means - it is a phrase often used by Thai men referring to the woman as the hind legs of an elephant, meaning men are the leaders.

I'm surprised at the outcome of the poll - seems like posters are walking around with their eyes and ears closed.Alternatively, it maybe says a lot about the type of Thai women who marry men from abroad.

or most posters on TV are pussy whipped?

[Johnniey]

Yes it is, it's more used by men as a remark about them leading the way.

No its not.

Look it up the full quote and see.

When used at just "ช้างเท้าหลัง" it's a little like "the missus", or (for cockneys) "Er'indoors."

Nothing to do with the man being in control at all. If anything it's almost a fearful reference to the wife.

I think you need to go back to Thai culture 101 especially if you've been here since 1986...

One thing of interest here is that no one has posted saying "I'm the man of the house" etc as yet....

Sorry, you're understanding this saying in totally the wrong way, I'm not going to argue with you or look it up(no need).

[kerryk]

Yes it is, it's more used by men as a remark about them leading the way.

No its not.

Look it up the full quote and see.

When used at just "ช้างเท้าหลัง" it's a little like "the missus", or (for cockneys) "Er'indoors."

Nothing to do with the man being in control at all. If anything it's almost a fearful reference to the wife.

I think you need to go back to Thai culture 101 especially if you've been here since 1986...

One thing of interest here is that no one has posted saying "I'm the man of the house" etc as yet....

Sorry, you're understanding this saying in totally the wrong way, I'm not going to argue with you or look it up(no need).

If the husband is referred to as "ช้างเท้าหลัง chang tao lang" then the wife is the leader. If the wife is referred to as "ช้างเท้าหลัง chang tao lang" then the husband is the leader.

This is what I understand. Is it correct?