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Some Advice On Thai Women


egauge

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what's the fascination with 'classy traditional thai girls'?

They don't do this, they don't do that, they would never kiss you until three years have passed and the chaperones have approved of you...please, tell me why anyone would want to be involved in a relationship with that type of person? If indeed that type of person actually exists in 2011/2554!

I reckon there's too much thought going into this, OP, you've met a girl you like and she likes you, who knows what will happen in the future? Certainly nobody on here does.

There are plenty of stories about people getting ripped off, heartbroken etc. there's probably plenty of stories about people who have normal relationships, but nobody reads them or re-tells them in bars to each other.

If you go into this waiting for the moment when she turns out to be some kind of scam artist then you might as well not bother.

Don't get hung up on the fact that she's in Thailand, just do what you're going to do anyway (which is meet up with her and see what happens) You've already found out what happens when you listen to all the 'experts' telling you she's after your money.

You get all "I'm not paying for anything" with her and she, quite understandably, gets upset with you.

Either get involved or don't. Stop thinking about money, I agree you should be careful in that regard, but I don't think you should really focus on it. It will spoil things.

Just have fun and enjoy yourself. By that, I don't mean what some people have suggested.... make out like you're serious and once you've slept with her disappear.

If you concentrate too much on thinking "is she playing me?" what's the point of even going near her? You'll just come over like some scared fella who's too worried about his precious money all the time.

Is she playing you?

Who knows?

Does it matter, if you aren't going to buy her a house/car/gold etc. anyway?

No.

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Let's not forget, Jimmy Barnes has a Thai wife (Jakie)and has been with her for a very long time, i know them both and they really suited each other, in the end, it's better to marry an ex bar girl,than a good village girl, because a bar girl will keep you home at night and give you what you need, a village girl is dull and boring and can cost you a fortune with her family etc...and you end up in the arms of a bar girl twice a week anyway...lol :lol:

Class.:(

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does it need to be explained why someone would like a classy decent girl,

these are the girls that look in your heart not your wallet.

im just not so into girls that have been ridden by half the worlds tourist's

someone actually against good girls above, ive seen everything.

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So much depends on your personality. If you are4 naturally cautious - which it would appear you are - sort out some simple safeguards. Go and enjoy the time with your girl, but carry a duplicate passport, limited cash and a throw-away credit card with only the amount of cash available that you are prepared to lose. Now you will not worry about waking up to find yourself alone and robbed -- been there, done that. :whistling:

Meantime - meet all her friends and family. Watch her reactions when you start to chat with other girls in her social circle. Watch her reactions when she meets guys you know. If you trust one well enough arrange for him to hit on her and try to get her phone number etc. :ph34r:

The main thing is to keep it light and easy -- please enjoy your time with her and let her be happy. Don't think of the next weekend date until this one is over and you have seperated and had time to cool off and think about it a bit --- but not too much B)

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Life's a gamble, throw the dice, see what happens, good luck, you never know you may have hit the jackpot !!

I will guarantee if you don't take a chance you will ALWAYS think "what if" for the rest of your proverbial

Paul

Oh Please. Those tired old sayings are best left for the smucks back in the west. :rolleyes:

The only "what if"s you need to think about when it comes to Thai womaen are........what if i get married, buy a house i can't own, gradually spend all my savings and then suddenly find myself divorced because my "usefullness" has ran out.

Dear ossievaseas.

Not much fun to have to go back home pennyless with your tail between between legs after falling big time for a bit of skirt.

Fair to say, you can't trust a lot of females in the west either, but at least its not part of the culture to go out trying to find a well heeled foriener to marry.

Dear ozzie, what you forget is that I am a smuck from the east ! LOL

My "advice" is true and to the point, I come from the UK, "The culture" from the UK is really no different to that here. Look at the big cities, London, Manchester etc, i would suggest that most women marry for security, some for "love" and when it goes wrong they will kick you in the teeth big time and it will cost you MUCH more than here in Thailand. You then go back to mummy with your tail between your legs? No mate you get on with life and youve learned a lesson which, hopefully, you wont repeat (many do though) LOL

I have NEVER heard of a model/bird with money marrying a dustman ( unless the bloke has won the lottery) dont happen in real life.

Its a female thing no question, Look when a lioness looks for a mate, she picks the biggest and best. She dont pick the runt.

Its the same the world all over, not just in Thailand. Do you think that all westerners who have married Thais have/are being conned?

(ALWAYS EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED)

Point taken, but do be aware that i was not referring to you as a smuck personally, and i am defiantely a follower of your "expect the unexpected" philosophy

;)

As for your question

IMO..of course not every person married to a Thai is getting (or has been) conned. In my own case, if i were 60 years old and sponsoring a very young Thai girl i would have no illusion as to what the deal was.

It seems the trouble starts when the goalposts get mooved, rules are changed, and both sides are prone to irrational behaviour and intense greed.

One point that could be made is about any typical Thai/Thai marriages. If both partners are of the same social class, similiar age and financial status then it stands to reason both will have to labour and work together to fund a future? It seems this sort of marriage might have a good chance of lasting wherein there are a few less expectations/obligations?

The OP seems to be awake to what could happen..In my opinion theres nothing wrong with that.

The funny thing about a good Thai girl is..if you make even the slightest insinuation of the possibility of her being anything less than honourable, she will most probably drop you like a sack of spuds (and understandably so)

In the OPs here, this girl has already stated she does'nt need his money, or financial help. IMO she would not say this if it were not true, as she herself knows that by saying this up front she greatly limits her chances of trying to get any outlandish benefits in the short term

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Walk away quickly!

And a few posts before you are saying RUN, "and I'll add Fast and Far to this".

What reason have you for saying this? If you went by this theory in the early stages of all such cases, then no-one could ever be trusted and no-one would ever be married :blink:

Would he be better off befriending someone in Nana who needs money for mama, 3 kids and sick buffalo back home ??

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In the OPs here, this girl has already stated she does'nt need his money, or financial help. IMO she would not say this if it were not true, as she herself knows that by saying this up front she greatly limits her chances of trying to get any outlandish benefits in the short term

How to con a foreigner.

1) Gain his trust, never ask for money

2) Pay your own way, never ask for money (cheap places, you treat him, expensive places let him pay)

3) Never go anywhere naughty with him

4) Be patient

5) NEVER ASK FOR MONEY

The foreigner will give you gold and buy a house and car in your name within a year.

How to cash in on the house

1) Take out the biggest bank loan you can

2) Move out and let the bank repossess

Far less confrontation than you trying to chuck him out of a house he thinks he owns..

Edited by ludditeman
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Well, I still thank you all for the replies. I am still going but as I said I read people very well I have noticed from our times on Skype she is happy to show me off to her friends and family. She suggested going to Koh Lahn to stay in a friends Bungalow for the weekend I will take her up on that. Im not fussed if I have to pay for the accom. She is very blatant about not wanting a future its never discussed. I personally am happy with this. Last weekend I met up with an old flame from here in Australia we hit it off and have been seeing each other since.

I think I will go and have a nice weekend maybe spend more than I planned but meh. I have noticed even though she speaks good english the language barrier would kill me. She says I miss you too much instead of I miss you very much. I have found myself speaking/typing in this broken english. "where we go when I come?" Number I come 14" its weird when she types it out she loses english skills compared with conversation. Either that or my brain doesnt notice it when she speaks.

Im not fussed overly anymore if it goes anywhere frankly I am happy to have a good weekend away and come home and forget the weekend happened. I think its for the best Im not the type to put up with the games I have read about. since reading the forum I have been laughing to myself when she makes comments ( I could just be jaded now) like "I want Iphone 4 like you?" Or I went to BKK and did shopping lots of shopping I now have no money" I can see where the manipulation is going. I havent sent her any money as I said I wont. She hasnt asked directly for money but she has hinted at needing money for certain things. Yesterday I laughed when she asked what she should get for her Nieces birthday. I suggested an IPOD she was horrified at the thought of Her Niece with a better "toy" than she owned. I bought my son one at the same age maybe even younger. I mean really its just a modern version of a walkman. So yeah again thank you all. There wont be a relationship coming out of this. I just dont have the time to muck around online with timezone crap and her work and my work. I laughed when she asked me to wait until she finished work at 12am to talk every night. I was like im sorry thats 230 in the morning here and I wake at 6 its not going to happen. if you can talk to me around 4 pm your time then I can chat if not then send me an email lol.

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egauge you're either a troll or blissfully ignorant for your age

Im not ignorant and I am not a troll. I am just simply giving feedback as requested by a forum member from my original post. Yes I have only been to Thailand once. And as per my original post if you took the time to read it. I had no interest in meeting a local girl none what so ever. I only met this girl through her relationship with a colleague. As I said thank you all for your opinions I have been nothing but respectful to all posters on here. I had no intention of ever returning to Thailand until the girl in question and myself started communicating and she asked me to come back. I have now done nearly a month of a long distance friendship/relationship (i guess it falls under that) and its not for me.

I will say a lot of people seem jaded from their previous experiences but honestly thats the sort of information I was looking for. Both the good and bad to help me make an informed judgment as to whether I was being played. I have expressed to her as of last night that I am not seeking a relationship and that I didnt think it could work out even if I tried. She was fine with this she still wants to go to the island but instead of staying in a room with me she has invited a friend to stay in another room with her. She is also offering to collect me from the airport with a car service. I offered to pay for this and she declined. Again this time yelling at me that she doesnt need my money.

I do feel guilty that I may have painted her with the same brush as many of the posters seem to have implied. I will make that up to her but I wont be seeking a relationship with her as I said I wont and cant do this long distance thing.

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>>"I want Iphone 4 like you?" Or I went to BKK and did shopping lots of shopping I now have no money" I can see where the manipulation is going. I havent sent her any money as I said I wont. She hasnt asked directly for money but she has hinted at needing money for certain things.

The subtle hints asking for money didn't take too long. Good onya OP for recognizing this and not giving in. Enjoy your weekend.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I love u = I love your money

I miss u = I miss your money

You are a falang, which means you are lower than the pet dog on the family tree.

Mate, They dont ask for money straight away.. they play you first. Wake up to yourself!!!

As I posted on another thread. Buy the book Money Number 1 (or) Private Dancer.

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Go and have a great weekend somewhere quiet,enjoy all that is on offer,then when you come back to aussie wait and see if she asks for money to either go home to see her sick mother/father or that her motorbike has broken down and she does not have enough money at the moment to fix it.Thats when you break all links.on the next holiday repeat previous

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  • 3 weeks later...

OK so for all who wanted to know how it went. Well most of you were right depending on your perception. A week before I left I had a private investigator do his thing and he came back with a thumbs up she wasnt with different guys she did spend a lot of time on the internet but chatting with female and a few male friends. He actually made the comment that she got excited at each of my texts before I would Skype with her. He then listened to how she would talk about me after the skype. As the date drew closer she became more secretive. I later found out she hadnt told anyone I was coming.

His recommendation like many of yours was what do you have to lose.

So I stayed as far away from Walking st as I could find "the pullman" She wasnt happy with the location but she was happy with the hotel. She met me at the airport and had a driver take us home. She had changed the room to have us both there but single beds. The first night as we only got back to the hotel by 2am we just slept.

She offered to pay half for the room. I declined.

We sat in the morning and had coffee down by the beach. We spoke for hours about my life her life and what she does for work each day around 12 we went to some garden as she called it but it was more part wildlife park. We fed some huge fish and then saw a thai show then watched the elephant show. We then went to Central Pattaya to see a film. She got upset at the price for the movie being 500baht and said its because I am seen as wealthy they charge more. She argued for a second with the girl before walking away. dragging a very perplexed me with her.

We went back to the hotel and I spoke to her in length about the forum she asked me to show her the site. She had trouble reading most of it. But she did get upset. I explained to her that where I come from if a girl asked for money then slept with a man and if the man then had no more money she left that we would call her a prostitute or a user.

She got extremely angry but didnt cry. She calmly said. " here man must look after girl with money and love" girl must look after family. up to you?" I said I am not paying to sleep with you ever. I wont marry a prostitute why should I went I can get sex at home for a few drinks in a bar.

She asked if she had ever implied that she wanted money from me. I said well no. I said you have said you like things. She said I like luis vitton doesnt mean I ever going to have one.

she said that she has been with Falangs before 2 in total and excepted money if they offered but never asked. I asked how much she gets paid for working in her sisters cafe she replied nothing I work to help the family. I said how do you get clothes and such. She said her sister and her mum take her shopping.

That afternoon I got a call from the investigator who said he had important information. So I met him in the foyer. He wanted an extra 5000 baht for the info. Which I paid (stupidly) he then said she is going to go to Phuket to meet a man there. A russian man. I went back to the room fuming.

I asked her what was she going to do when I left. She said I am going to phuket to do modeling for russian company as guide model. I calmed down and we spoke about the job she produced a bit of paper with the russian on it for her to learn. I translated it all on an online translator and it was legit.

We watched the tv for a while on separate beds. I cant remember the movie but she began to cry I thought it was the movie so I went to her bed and hugged her asking if she was alright. She pushed me away saying no you dont like me I not sexy for you. You dont touch me. um I solved that issue.

We then went down to the disco's on walking st I was feeling like crap like I had bali belly or something. after 5 discos. we went back to the hotel. She was upset that I didnt look like i had fun. I explained that I felt unwell. we pushed the beds together and slept.

In the morning we well lets say we had an amazing morning.

We went and had breakfast. I still felt unwell. but we went and saw a thai film at a different cinema. When we went to pay I handed her my wallet. She looked surprised but took out the money. then at the drink bar I did the same. In the cinema before anyone else came in she kissed me and smiled. I asked why she was so happy. She said we are on our first date and you gave me wallet. I shit myself I though holy crap what does that mean.

She smiled and said when she walks with me every one would think she is a bar girl. She Said when I gave my wallet to her to pay that no falang would ever give his wallet to bar girl, that the people seeing that would know its a relationship.

So we had dinner at the disco at the pullman both of us were tired so we hit the room...

In the morning we ate lunch in an awkward silence. her eyes were red. The food I had ordered was a thai dish I had tried some of hers the night before. Mine came and tasted bland. I said mine has no taste no spice to her. She said she was sorry but she had ordered it very mild so my stomach didnt get sick at the airport or the flight.

then the driver came and took us to the airport. she slept the whole way with her head on my lap. when we got to the airport I kissed her a goodbye. She smiled and said no im coming with you she said the airport is very dangerous place (i laughed) she just said believe me.

So for 6 hours we ate we chatted then I put her in a car service to her Aunts house in bangkok before I boarded my flight. I gave her all the thai baht I had in my wallet she said no but I insisted that I could not use it.

As I sat on the flight it occurred to me how well she had treated me. she wiped the sweat from my brow she looked after me when I was sick she never asked for anything. I said to her that I would send her money if she wanted. She said no if you want to do something for me save your money and come back quickly. She would kiss the side of my face or hair and breath me in at the same time it was a weird but charming sensation.

anyhow. that is how the 3 days went its been 2 weeks and she hasnt asked for anything not a dollar. the only request she made is next time I come I must meet her Mum and then go to phuket to meet her Dad.

She said that she wants to come to Australia and live here that she would come for my birthday. I said I would help with costs and she again declined.

So Im thinking I may have a keeper.

Edited by egauge
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Interesting that you should write, “I wont marry a prostitute why should I went I can get sex at home for a few drinks in a bar.” I don't know exactly how much a few drinks cost but once you get outside the tourist areas the price of a few drinks Aussie is about the price for two women for a brief interlude.

99% of Australian men come to Thailand and have fun and go back home alone and save their money to come back to Thailand again. About 1% invite a Thai woman to come to Australia. I wonder why.

Have you really found the answer that 99% have missed?

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OK so for all who wanted to know how it went. Well most of you were right depending on your perception. A week before I left I had a private investigator do his thing and he came back with a thumbs up she wasnt with different guys she did spend a lot of time on the internet but chatting with female and a few male friends. He actually made the comment that she got excited at each of my texts before I would Skype with her. He then listened to how she would talk about me after the skype. As the date drew closer she became more secretive. I later found out she hadnt told anyone I was coming.

His recommendation like many of yours was what do you have to lose.

So I stayed as far away from Walking st as I could find "the pullman" She wasnt happy with the location but she was happy with the hotel. She met me at the airport and had a driver take us home. She had changed the room to have us both there but single beds. The first night as we only got back to the hotel by 2am we just slept.

She offered to pay half for the room. I declined.

We sat in the morning and had coffee down by the beach. We spoke for hours about my life her life and what she does for work each day around 12 we went to some garden as she called it but it was more part wildlife park. We fed some huge fish and then saw a thai show then watched the elephant show. We then went to Central Pattaya to see a film. She got upset at the price for the movie being 500baht and said its because I am seen as wealthy they charge more. She argued for a second with the girl before walking away. dragging a very perplexed me with her.

We went back to the hotel and I spoke to her in length about the forum she asked me to show her the site. She had trouble reading most of it. But she did get upset. I explained to her that where I come from if a girl asked for money then slept with a man and if the man then had no more money she left that we would call her a prostitute or a user.

She got extremely angry but didnt cry. She calmly said. " here man must look after girl with money and love" girl must look after family. up to you?" I said I am not paying to sleep with you ever. I wont marry a prostitute why should I went I can get sex at home for a few drinks in a bar.

She asked if she had ever implied that she wanted money from me. I said well no. I said you have said you like things. She said I like luis vitton doesnt mean I ever going to have one.

she said that she has been with Falangs before 2 in total and excepted money if they offered but never asked. I asked how much she gets paid for working in her sisters cafe she replied nothing I work to help the family. I said how do you get clothes and such. She said her sister and her mum take her shopping.

That afternoon I got a call from the investigator who said he had important information. So I met him in the foyer. He wanted an extra 5000 baht for the info. Which I paid (stupidly) he then said she is going to go to Phuket to meet a man there. A russian man. I went back to the room fuming.

I asked her what was she going to do when I left. She said I am going to phuket to do modeling for russian company as guide model. I calmed down and we spoke about the job she produced a bit of paper with the russian on it for her to learn. I translated it all on an online translator and it was legit.

We watched the tv for a while on separate beds. I cant remember the movie but she began to cry I thought it was the movie so I went to her bed and hugged her asking if she was alright. She pushed me away saying no you dont like me I not sexy for you. You dont touch me. um I solved that issue.

We then went down to the disco's on walking st I was feeling like crap like I had bali belly or something. after 5 discos. we went back to the hotel. She was upset that I didnt look like i had fun. I explained that I felt unwell. we pushed the beds together and slept.

In the morning we well lets say we had an amazing morning.

We went and had breakfast. I still felt unwell. but we went and saw a thai film at a different cinema. When we went to pay I handed her my wallet. She looked surprised but took out the money. then at the drink bar I did the same. In the cinema before anyone else came in she kissed me and smiled. I asked why she was so happy. She said we are on our first date and you gave me wallet. I shit myself I though holy crap what does that mean.

She smiled and said when she walks with me every one would think she is a bar girl. She Said when I gave my wallet to her to pay that no falang would ever give his wallet to bar girl, that the people seeing that would know its a relationship.

So we had dinner at the disco at the pullman both of us were tired so we hit the room...

In the morning we ate lunch in an awkward silence. her eyes were red. The food I had ordered was a thai dish I had tried some of hers the night before. Mine came and tasted bland. I said mine has no taste no spice to her. She said she was sorry but she had ordered it very mild so my stomach didnt get sick at the airport or the flight.

then the driver came and took us to the airport. she slept the whole way with her head on my lap. when we got to the airport I kissed her a goodbye. She smiled and said no im coming with you she said the airport is very dangerous place (i laughed) she just said believe me.

So for 6 hours we ate we chatted then I put her in a car service to her Aunts house in bangkok before I boarded my flight. I gave her all the thai baht I had in my wallet she said no but I insisted that I could not use it.

As I sat on the flight it occurred to me how well she had treated me. she wiped the sweat from my brow she looked after me when I was sick she never asked for anything. I said to her that I would send her money if she wanted. She said no if you want to do something for me save your money and come back quickly. She would kiss the side of my face or hair and breath me in at the same time it was a weird but charming sensation.

anyhow. that is how the 3 days went its been 2 weeks and she hasnt asked for anything not a dollar. the only request she made is next time I come I must meet her Mum and then go to phuket to meet her Dad.

She said that she wants to come to Australia and live here that she would come for my birthday. I said I would help with costs and she again declined.

So Im thinking I may have a keeper.

Being married to a Thai woman is a nightmare dude. Trust me. You're getting played like a fiddle.

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Dude I'm not marrying her she is coming for a holiday. She's paying. Not me. Besides it wasn't like a didn't keep the investigator on her after I left. So far the only lie I have caught her in was one night she said she was going to go out to a disco with a friend and she really went to bed. This guy spends two hours every second day around her and so far nothing

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Being married to a Thai woman is a nightmare dude.

Depends on who you marry. Like the old saying goes, You make your bed.....

I can only mentally shake my head in disbelief at some of the westerners of my acquaintance and the horror stories they've decided to wed. I always think to myself " At what point did you decide that this was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Have kids with? Grow old with? Share the good times and bad? The laughs and the tears?"

Some of these guys on the surface seem quite sensible too. Not the degenerate, scruffy,alcoholic nutters you'd expect to end up with the dregs of Thai womanhood. :huh:

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Being married to a Thai woman is a nightmare dude.

Depends on who you marry. Like the old saying goes, You make your bed.....

I can only mentally shake my head in disbelief at some of the westerners of my acquaintance and the horror stories they've decided to wed. I always think to myself " At what point did you decide that this was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Have kids with? Grow old with? Share the good times and bad? The laughs and the tears?"

Some of these guys on the surface seem quite sensible too. Not the degenerate, scruffy,alcoholic nutters you'd expect to end up with the dregs of Thai womanhood. :huh:

Note to mca

Marriage lasts about 5 years for most, why would you think anyone is deciding to spend the rest of their life with the person they marry?

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Interesting that you should write, "I wont marry a prostitute why should I went I can get sex at home for a few drinks in a bar." I don't know exactly how much a few drinks cost but once you get outside the tourist areas the price of a few drinks Aussie is about the price for two women for a brief interlude.

99% of Australian men come to Thailand and have fun and go back home alone and save their money to come back to Thailand again. About 1% invite a Thai woman to come to Australia. I wonder why.

Have you really found the answer that 99% have missed?

The marry part was my enforcing the fact that I wasn't interested if that's what she was going to want out of me. I wouldn't marry her. Hell I couldn't I'm still legally married. I wasn't saying to her I wont marry you because if you want money you're a prostitute (to me) I was saying in general I would not marry a bar girl go go girl cafe girl or any other girl that wants money to stay with me.

I think the difference with her compared with the 99% you speak of is that yes they met them in Bars they paid for them, the relationship was formed on a financial arrangement.

The girl would be crazy to not want that to continue. I was introduced to her through the managing director of a multi national company (her brother in law) an expat. She so far according to the investigator has been doing everything she said she was going to do.

Even one night he asked an American guy in his 20's to buy her a drink. She accepted the drink graciously but when he moved to sit next to her and chat her up she said she had a boyfriend and walked off. I cant ask for much more than that.

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Being married to a Thai woman is a nightmare dude.

Depends on who you marry. Like the old saying goes, You make your bed.....

I can only mentally shake my head in disbelief at some of the westerners of my acquaintance and the horror stories they've decided to wed. I always think to myself " At what point did you decide that this was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Have kids with? Grow old with? Share the good times and bad? The laughs and the tears?"

Some of these guys on the surface seem quite sensible too. Not the degenerate, scruffy,alcoholic nutters you'd expect to end up with the dregs of Thai womanhood. :huh:

Note to mca

Marriage lasts about 5 years for most, why would you think anyone is deciding to spend the rest of their life with the person they marry?

Cos if not they wouldn't bother getting married I guess. Call me old fashioned. Save on the cost of a new suit and a cake for a start.

Edited by mca
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