Does Anyone Ever Get Burnt Out On This Place ?

[paulian]

Some people need to understand they will never be happy with the external stimulation that change provides. The problem is often on the inside and its difficult to slow down and enjoy the simple things whilst the internal demons are raging.

Yea, that's probably it in two sentences.... that PERMANENT change provides. At home, during my career, my life seemed always to be on the edge, sometimes dealing with stressful life and death situations that I wasn't always sure what the best way to go was. So.... when I was able to get away from it in those days, I can remember just a walk on the beach alone or a photo day watching the surfers at Huntington Beach would totally get my head back to where it should be. Here, I can do those things everyday and they change nothing. Suppose, I'm not growing old too gracefully and will find it almost impossible to change I think. Maybe time to get drunk ! At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

[MegaRanter]

What do you do for a living MegaRanter, if you dont mind me asking?

No way jose, if I tell you, i would have to waterboard you.

I make 5 baht per piece, depends on how many they buy each month.

[paulian]

What do you do for a living MegaRanter, if you dont mind me asking?

No way jose, if I tell you, i would have to waterboard you.

I make 5 baht per piece, depends on how many they buy each month.

I don't want to get water boarded. However, I hope your not the one who makes those stupid pop up post card scenes they keep bothering me at the beach to buy ?

[IanForbes]

I think it is natural to get burnt out if you stay anywhere too long or with anybody too long. I stay in Canada for 7 months and Thailand for 5 months. Just about the time I'm getting weary of the same old scene I move back to my OTHER home. That way I am always refreshed. I am now spoiled with my life style and I would be royally pissed off if I had to choose just one place. As it is now I feel like I own the world wherever I am. Fortunately, I enjoy a rather austere life style and simple food. I am just as happy in a tent somewhere in the wilderness as I am in a 5 star hotel.

[Darrel]

I remember when...traffic was a lot worse than it is now and the streets were a lot dirtier. No metered taxis. No BTS or MRT. No air-conditioned buses.

What a difference a few KM make!

In Pattaya none of those apply at all.

No modern cinemas or shopping centers. No English programming on television. None of your favorite farang products in the grocery stores. No budget airlines. Few decent foreign restaurants and no fast food chains (for those that like them every now and then).

True enough, but I wouldn't describe any of those as fun, except perhaps the TV.

Decades ago Thailand used to be foreign and different, and that's what made it good. Now it's all Ikea and McDonalds and really rather dull.

[JemJem]

Well, I guess we can safely say that this issue is mostly a SUBJECTIVE issue.

Aging/time is a big factor. People's priorities and capabilities change over time.

I first came to Thailand on a short holiday in 1988. Then, from 1990 up until around 2005, I lived in Bangkok, on and off, for a total of around 7 years (mainly in the nineties). After that, I have been going to Thailand every 1.5-2 years or so for 2-3 month-holidays. Anyway, for me, I started getting the burnt-out feeling in the early 2000's. That time, I was still into nightlife (not really the bar/massage parlour scene but the clubbing/pub scene) and the introduction of the frickin' 2 o'clock-curfew thing annoyed me a lot.

Now (well, since 3-4 years ago), actually, I cannot handle too much drinking so the club scene does not appeal to me much. For me, Thailand, in the social life sense, always meant partying and having a good time at beer gardens, pubs and clubs so if I go back there again to live full-time, I think I won't enjoy it. BUT, as I said above, I still like to go to Thailand every 1.5 or 2 years or so, for 2-3 months at a time, enjoying seaside times, shopping and limited nightlife (for health reasons, I have significantly reduced my alcohol intake). Actually, I wouldn't mind living in Thailand every year for 3 or even 4 months (for now, this is difficult for financial reasons).

Jem

[Jingthing]

Bottom line, like most long term expats, I had a lot more fun when I was a tourist! In some ways living here ruins that old magic. Similar to marriage, the sizzle fizzles. I think that's natural.

Edited October 10, 2011 by Jingthing

[flying]

My question is does this happen to any one else or are most of you just thrilled to be here and have no desire to ever leave and maybe I need a psychologist instead of a forum ?

Yup

I do get burnt after 3 months or so.

I get Thai-urd

Don't get me wrong we love Thailand & who knows

maybe someday we will live there full time.

We have a home in the country & a condo in the city in Thailand so it is not

hard to imagine moving there someday.

But....for now after 90 days or so we are ready to leave.

9 months later we are happy/anxious to return to Thailand again.

Maybe someday it will reverse. Especially if citizenship

ever gets easier.

Maybe your the same? Not ready to be 100% satisfied with one place?

For me it is also hard to feel 100% satisfied with a temporary status

[ARISTIDE]

May be you're good back in LA you know, if it's not fun why stay?

[seekingfriends]

hey burnt out .please tell us a few things .and it might help us to understand your position . how old are you . are you married do you have thai friends .where do you live. do you drive .let us know. james

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Clearly many people get burnt out; it's plain to see even on this forum. Just not me.

[jessicajane]

Let me share my memory's with you.I came her the first time January 1994 then at a 16 days visa exempt.Stayed Bangkok 2 days and Pattaya the other 14 days.When I flew home I thought by myself " been there done that ",but when I landed in my homecountry at - ? degree celsius I booked a return flight within the next 6 hours to arrive back only 12 days later.

This time I made a tourist visa,but before the visa was expired I was happy already I could change my flight home to an earlier date.

To make a long story short,every time I arrived in my home country i couldn't wait to book my next flight,I made 7 return flights in 1994,but when I stayed here for a few weeks I would have thoughts about renting a pick up with a MI 50 and enough ammunition installed on the back instead of a hiring taxi to go to the airport.

Now I live here for the past 17 years it is still the same and my opinion is,it's a paradise as long as you don't have to get involved with the local's on a daily base.

Before the rose tinted glasses people jump in,buying beer or food from the locals doesn't account as getting involved.

I think many of my problems living here are culture related pertaining to the values and mores of the Thai people. It is so much different from what I am used to and different from many 1st world countries I have spent time in. You say everything is fine as long as you don't get the locals involved ..... That's pretty hard to do in their country. We're the visitors, not them. They control it all or at least try to.

My thoughts are also maybe remove yourself from Pattaya. Its not the real world. If it is possible try and find an educated partner who is also able to contribute to the general day to day living funds! Maybe move over near the Cambodian border... cheap getaways...change of scenery.. Laos .....Vietnam .... Tbh after having lived in Thailand since the late 80's I noticed the change which is inevitable and the ex pat fraternity didnt enthrall me either, but being a woman thats a whole other ball game.

I worked in the medical field so I was surrounded by like minded people but quite honestly now I am more than happy just nipping over with my husband to see my Dad who lives in Nong Khai.

NK isnt a bad place to live, some would consider it boring, but I quite like the Mekong Laos/Thailand activity at the markets... cheaper properties, less smutty "Farang" and nipping over to Laos for a bit of French/Indo culture suits me just fine.

I sincerely hope you find your niche .

Best wishes

JessicaJane

Edited October 11, 2011 by jessicajane

[jackr]

Now I live here for the past 17 years it is still the same and my opinion is,it's a paradise as long as you don't have to get involved with the local's on a daily base.

I'd generally rather be among Thais than my own people in my own land; however, I'd also go along with what you say... keep em at arm's length.

Op, try heading down to Malaysia for a week or so. Used to do this when I'd had enough of Muang Thai and even just a few days in Penang did the trick... what a sh1t hole.

[kikoman]

I have lived in Thailand going on 11 years now, I am the only falang in my village and love it. I rarely interact with other falangs because most tend to be very negative. If one gets burned out here why don't they leave, I miss my grown children but I do not miss the old country! When I do go there it has evolved into a police state. You can have that, I made my choice when I left over a decade ago, and it was the right choice for me.

If I was burned out I would have left along time ago!

Cheers:

[jaideeguy]

I've been visiting LOS for 25 yrs and living full time married for 10+ yrs and yes my rose colored glasses need new tinting.......starting to see more of the negative [mostly] petty irritations that are now overwhelming the positive and have shrunken into my own little shell with my family out in a remote rice field up north.

Before moving to LOS, I had spent 8 yrs in the Philippines and went thru the same burnout and LOS was the 'cure' for the Phil insanity. I have recently come up with a plan to keep the tint fresh on my rose colored glases......change locations a couple of times a year and am in the process of setting up a place to escape to in the Phil and hope that 6 months there and 6 months here will help make me appreciate both places more and be a more happy camper.

If that doesn't work, I don't know what I'll do because the 'alternative' of moving back to the states is most probably the last thing I want to do. My occasional trips back to the US have always made me feel like a stranger in a strange world and couldn't see myself spending much time there......

Any suggestions??

[IMA_FARANG]

Are you joking?

Of course, that happens to many if not all of us who stay in Thailand long-term.

The "bloom" wears of the Rose...and we get bored.

I'm retired, have been here in Bangkok for about a year now...and I know what you're talikng about.

I try to do a short trip out of Thailand...maybe Penang or Singapore for a couple of days at least once a year. Will probably do another one in January...possible Vietnam this time...if I can afford it.

That's why you hear so many unhappy Farangs complaining about the Thais.

What they really mean is they are bored, but don't want to admit that, so instead they blame it on the Thais.

That way it isn't their fault, it's the fault of the Thais around them.

Edited October 11, 2011 by IMA_FARANG

[Tokay]

Yea, I think Pattaya is a big part of my problem. Great for tourists, however, how many times can you do the same things over and over. It would appear to visitors this is the greatest City in the world and at one point that's how it was for me. But ..... now, Been there, Done that, attitude.

Pattaya is a HUGE part of your problem. GET OUT OF PATTAYA.

Sorry to those who live there, but it's filth, disease, prostitutes, and rudeness everywhere you look. There is so much more Thailand has to offer and only seeing so many negative things will pull you down eventually unless you are three sheets to the wind every day/night, as many are.

The grass is always greener on the other side, but I suggest getting out Pattaya tomorrow and doing some traveling again, go to some new places, less touristy. Find a place that feels better. If you can't find it, LA is just a plane ride away. But whatever you do, get out of Pattaya and clear your head. You're literally living in the largest brothel in the world. Not good for your metal state of being.

[Jingthing]

GET OUT OF PATTAYA.

So who died and made you dictator of where people choose to live?

[yermanee]

Yea, I think Pattaya is a big part of my problem. Great for tourists, however, how many times can you do the same things over and over. It would appear to visitors this is the greatest City in the world and at one point that's how it was for me. But ..... now, Been there, Done that, attitude.

Pattaya is a HUGE part of your problem. GET OUT OF PATTAYA.

Pattaya is not part of his problems. Every place in the world has limited things one can do and then its : Been there, Done that.

OP is having withdrawal symptoms from his former active lifestyle and would have this problem everywhere. Variety is the spice of everything in life.

If one cannot accept the "Thainess" of Thailand then being in another place in Thailand is not going to help is it?

Just my 2 cents after living here for over 25 years.

Yermanee :jap:

[hotandhumid]

Sometimes I feel like I am going stir crazy in this place. My options are limited with a wife and 2 young children and I cannot for all the will in the world imagine us going to live in the UK. We went on holiday there this year, we enjoyed it of course but we were very happy to come back, I just can't imagine living there through a British winter and I probably wouldn't get a job anyway. So I am not kidding myself, I know that we are much better off living here, I just need to find a balance of life here in Thailand to keep me sane. Not easy though.

[Richard4849]

GET OUT OF PATTAYA.

So who died and made you dictator of where people choose to live?

I think it was meant as a suggestion, not an order.

If one is bored or unhappy in the place where one lives, it is usually part of a rational thought process to suggest trying out somewhere else.

It also seems to be a suggestion that makes some people foam at the mouth in rage.

Oh, well.

[dutchguest]

Pattaya seems to me the first place where you get bored and burnt out. It also may be the first place many people are attracted to. I think this is because life in Pattaya is very superficial and its attractions idem; they give the senses the illusion that there must be something very exiting and special but after a while you find out that it is all a very thin layer of empty noise, glamour and glitter that does not bring a sustainable and real satisfaction and feeling of wellbeing. In the end you only can fool yourself and repeat those pseudo-satisfactory actions. (I am describing the most visible side of Pattaya, which is where most foreigners are attracted to; of course it is also possible to live a more "normal" live in Pattaya).

Personally I like to visit Pattaya for a couple of days, but about living there full time I have my doubts. I think I would prefer a place like Prachuap Kiri Kahn, Kanchanaburi or Chiang Rai. At the moment I divide my time between living in Thailand and Holland. And after a few months in Thailand I am glad that I can go back to Holland. Idem after a few months in Holland I am glad I can go to Thailand again. At the moment this arrangement suits me best although it is not ideal. I am thinking about moving more permanently to Thailand, but especially the visa troubles and uncertainties and the fact that the Thai language remains a too hard to crack nut make me postpone a more definitive choice.

[IanForbes]

Personally I like to visit Pattaya for a couple of days, but about living there full time I have my doubts. I think I would prefer a place like Prachuap Kiri Kahn, Kanchanaburi or Chiang Rai. At the moment I divide my time between living in Thailand and Holland. And after a few months in Thailand I am glad that I can go back to Holland. Idem after a few months in Holland I am glad I can go to Thailand again. At the moment this arrangement suits me best although it is not ideal. I am thinking about moving more permanently to Thailand, but especially the visa troubles and uncertainties and the fact that the Thai language remains a too hard to crack nut make me postpone a more definitive choice.

If you can afford it then just keep doing what you are already doing. I do exactly the same thing and plan on continuing to do the same thing until I am too old to travel. At that point I'll sit in my rocking chair with an evil leer on my face and tell nasty stories to my grandkids.

[richard10365]

I think each person has to decide for their self if they want to spend the rest of their life here. What you felt a few years ago, what you feel today, and what you feel in the future can all change as time goes on. I have been here almost 8 years and it hasn't always been great. In fact, some points were truly in the top 10 list of all time worst life experiences. However, I still love living here. My bad experiences were because of bad decision I made and have no one else to blame but myself. I think I wised up a bit and feel very content. I can't imagine living anywhere else but Chiang Mai. I hope everyone else can find a place they can call home too.

[paulian]

Now I live here for the past 17 years it is still the same and my opinion is,it's a paradise as long as you don't have to get involved with the local's on a daily base.

I'd generally rather be among Thais than my own people in my own land; however, I'd also go along with what you say... keep em at arm's length.

Op, try heading down to Malaysia for a week or so. Used to do this when I'd had enough of Muang Thai and even just a few days in Penang did the trick... what a sh1t hole.

Used to feel very comfortable about spending time with Thai's. Many years ago, before their attitudes changed about Westerners , before the scams became widespread and when they had a little respect for us. Now, especially in the cities Thai's tend to treat all Westerners as "marks". Not all Thai's, but the majority of them in the major tourist destinations. I trust few of them any longer and am uncomfortable of their unknown looks and thoughts. Even the unfamilar climate and food which I should be used to by now upsets me at times. Like others, I travel when I can afford it, to get out of the country or province and it sometimes rejuvenates me towards their attitudes. But lately, much less of the traveling and when I return much less of a comfortable feeling with them.

[paulian]

I've been visiting LOS for 25 yrs and living full time married for 10+ yrs and yes my rose colored glasses need new tinting.......starting to see more of the negative [mostly] petty irritations that are now overwhelming the positive and have shrunken into my own little shell with my family out in a remote rice field up north.

Before moving to LOS, I had spent 8 yrs in the Philippines and went thru the same burnout and LOS was the 'cure' for the Phil insanity. I have recently come up with a plan to keep the tint fresh on my rose colored glases......change locations a couple of times a year and am in the process of setting up a place to escape to in the Phil and hope that 6 months there and 6 months here will help make me appreciate both places more and be a more happy camper.

If that doesn't work, I don't know what I'll do because the 'alternative' of moving back to the states is most probably the last thing I want to do. My occasional trips back to the US have always made me feel like a stranger in a strange world and couldn't see myself spending much time there......

Any suggestions??

Lately, my occasional trips back to the US have made me feel the same way as you, like a stranger. When I was living there, due to the career I was in I was actually a stranger to most people that were not in the same field as me. It was kind of like a big club that only certain people could get in to. Now, although I still have friends in the "club", it's just not the same. I do not think I would be happy moving back as after only a few weeks there I am ready to leave. Also, your situation and the poster above you are much different than mine and many others that live here. Many of you guys are lucky enough to find a mate and start a family and live out of the city, Out of the city, I feel in Thailand, is like living in a different country. People are different in the villages, they treat you different than they treat you in the cities. I'm not saying they accept you 100%, but, more so than in the cities like Pattaya where I live. Unfortunately, I have not been able to find someone I care about that cares about me as much. and ... it is harder now since am totally burnt out on the bar scene and only go occasionally to watch a football game and have a drink. So, I stay alone much of the time, doing what I do most and what I'm doing now, pounding the this silly computer.

It would help, I believe, if I had more monthly income so I could travel more, however finding work here is as hard as finding working the US now, at my age. I was helping for a while at the Police station last year when the subject came up of they wanted me to come on full time. At first, I thought this was the answer to my problems. Then we discussed about how I was to train investigators and handle a case load, work 6 billion hours a month, put my life at risk while not even understanding what most of the suspects were saying or even thinking due to the culture and language difference. All this fun ..... for about the same money a month I was making in a few days back in LA. Obviously, I declined and decided to help out at the Father Ray foundation which was much better for me but didn't help my financial position.

[paulian]

Are you joking?

Of course, that happens to many if not all of us who stay in Thailand long-term.

The "bloom" wears of the Rose...and we get bored.

I'm retired, have been here in Bangkok for about a year now...and I know what you're talikng about.

I try to do a short trip out of Thailand...maybe Penang or Singapore for a couple of days at least once a year. Will probably do another one in January...possible Vietnam this time...if I can afford it.

That's why you hear so many unhappy Farangs complaining about the Thais.

What they really mean is they are bored, but don't want to admit that, so instead they blame it on the Thais.

That way it isn't their fault, it's the fault of the Thais around them.

"That's why you hear so many unhappy Farangs complaining about the Thais.

What they really mean is they are bored, but don't want to admit that, so instead they blame it on the Thais.

That way it isn't their fault, it's the fault of the Thais around them."

How true this statement is proving to be ......

[yermanee]

"That's why you hear so many unhappy Farangs complaining about the Thais.

What they really mean is they are bored, but don't want to admit that, so instead they blame it on the Thais.

That way it isn't their fault, it's the fault of the Thais around them."

How true this statement is proving to be ......

The only person who can help you ............ is you.

If you keep looking for negatives then that's what you will find and may I add not only in Thailand.

You complain that the work for father Ray doesn't bring any financial benefit, where the fact that you are helping people worse of than you should be a reward in itself.

I believe you to be in a negative spiral (I have been there) and again only you can change that.

I know it's not easy but believe me it's feasible, millions of people have done it.

You say you have been a fighter pilot, time to start fighting again, this time for yourself.

Best wishes,

Yermanee :jap:

[paulian]

"That's why you hear so many unhappy Farangs complaining about the Thais.

What they really mean is they are bored, but don't want to admit that, so instead they blame it on the Thais.

That way it isn't their fault, it's the fault of the Thais around them."

How true this statement is proving to be ......

The only person who can help you ............ is you.

If you keep looking for negatives then that's what you will find and may I add not only in Thailand.

You complain that the work for father Ray doesn't bring any financial benefit, where the fact that you are helping people worse of than you should be a reward in itself.

I believe you to be in a negative spiral (I have been there) and again only you can change that.

I know it's not easy but believe me it's feasible, millions of people have done it.

You say you have been a fighter pilot, time to start fighting again, this time for yourself.

OK, Thanks. Most of the fight is out of me these days as most of my great accomplishments in my life were so many years ago. However, as you say, I must try.

Best wishes,

Yermanee :jap:

[Tokay]

GET OUT OF PATTAYA.

So who died and made you dictator of where people choose to live?

He is asking, so I am giving him my 2 cents.

Pattaya is not part of his problems. Every place in the world has limited things one can do and then its : Been there, Done that.

OP is having withdrawal symptoms from his former active lifestyle and would have this problem everywhere. Variety is the spice of everything in life.

If one cannot accept the "Thainess" of Thailand then being in another place in Thailand is not going to help is it?

Just my 2 cents after living here for over 25 years.

Yermanee :jap:

Pattaya can be a problem. It's not THE problem, but it can be A problem. So much extreme negativity and unhealthy things going on there. If you let it get to you or are unable to deal with such extremes day and night, it can beat you down mentally, and does so to many good farangs.