Tg Relationships

[Glauka]

or people who become wise by wasting their time Edited November 13, 2005 by Glauka

[thaibebop]

  or people who become wise by wasting their time

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wise is pushing it, more like present or accounted for.

Edited November 13, 2005 by thaibebop

[John K]

For you who want some good examples I have found reading reader submissions on http://stickmanbangkok.com is very enlightening as to how relationships go. Last count there are over 2000 entries.

[daleyboy]

For you who want some good examples I have found reading reader submissions on http://stickmanbangkok.com is very enlightening as to how relationships go. Last count there are over 2000 entries.

Dont advise this poor person to that site all he will get there is a bunch of bitter old twisted individuals belittling Thailand and its people.

Fair enough we make fun on this board, but the type of person you get on here is far more understanding of the culture and people, than a bunch of old bitter bar flies over on the dark side

[snoophound]

Stick ,Provides good balance in my view,barflies,old men who cant get laid at home come on......sure

Seen plenty of people fall victim to the dark side among our community here in Aus.

The life of the Thai Gal expat in Falangland aint as perfect as the dream back in LOS.

Its a real shame we dont have some really literate gals who can write their stories.

Hansum man,big money ,love me thailand,look after me,look after family,stay nice hotels,many bacardi breezers,get to Falang land and the reality is not pretty in many cases...Hansum man ,no money,cheap job,no more holidays etc etc

For you who want some good examples I have found reading reader submissions on http://stickmanbangkok.com is very enlightening as to how relationships go. Last count there are over 2000 entries.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dont advise this poor person to that site all he will get there is a bunch of bitter old twisted individuals belittling Thailand and its people.

Fair enough we make fun on this board, but the type of person you get on here is far more understanding of the culture and people, than a bunch of old bitter bar flies over on the dark side

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[John K]

Actually I was more talking about seeing what is common between the posts there. What tends to be common tends to support the topic of this post. I first discovered it before I came to Thailand. Yes there are many posts as you say, but also many posts that are not. There are some delightful stories of love and also stories of deception. It is just a way of walking a mile in someone’s shoes and seeing life from their eyes. For someone to sit down and write a 800 plus word essay on there experience requires some form of motivation.

[stickman]

This lengthy article might give you food for thought.

http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/Reader/reader1803.htm

This is not the success story that you were looking for, but it goes into quite a lot of detail about why the author thinks relationships between Thai women and farang men are fraught with difficulties.

[stconan]

relationships between to people from differant cultures are allways difficult, you both have to be open minded, try to understand the thai culture first and the people. DONT RUSH!! you have plenty of time get to know the girl , sure she might want everything quick, but if she,s a good one time wont matter. see how you get on for a while, meet the family ect. And most of all treat the realationship like any other if you get on great, if you dont you dont. But take your time.

[Heng]

when they left i could see that she wasnt happy about her blokes house interior . now you can imagine this happening with other things like his money supply ,car etc ..and then they decide to upgrade and move on to some other bloke .

Could have been your imagination. Then again, girls have the right to upgrade to the alpha male anywhere in the world.

[John K]

One word of advice, make sure she is more interested in what is going on in the front of your pants and not the back. First love then money and not the other way around.

[sonthaya]

I would say it depends totally on the guy.

Is he chilled out? Does he not think too much? Is he happy to accept all aspects of Thai culture - possibly supporting his wife's family, pay a sin sot etc? Can he understand how Thais think - often extremely different to how westerners think? Does he totally understand and is ready to work with the concepts of mai pen rai, greng jai, and 'face'? Will he and the family be financially secure?

In my expeience it is the guy doing most of the giving in the relationship - yes there are exceptions and some here in TV but... - and must not expect the same attitude and values from his Thai gf as one from his culture.

Thai and Western culture are worlds apart and combining the two seems to fail in the most part, or those that succeed either work real hard, or the girl is very open minded/forward thinking.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

if u are talking about an undereducated or close minded girl then the farang has to compromise more, or also if u end up living in ur gfs home village/town. however i find some people make too much of supposed differences.

i think its less about thai/western culture and more to do with individual personalities that will determine the success or failure of a relationship.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Longway, I think you are quite right there, it's the persons not the cultures.

[Glauka]

I would say it depends totally on the guy.

Is he chilled out? Does he not think too much? Is he happy to accept all aspects of Thai culture - possibly supporting his wife's family, pay a sin sot etc? Can he understand how Thais think - often extremely different to how westerners think? Does he totally understand and is ready to work with the concepts of mai pen rai, greng jai, and 'face'? Will he and the family be financially secure?

In my expeience it is the guy doing most of the giving in the relationship - yes there are exceptions and some here in TV but... - and must not expect the same attitude and values from his Thai gf as one from his culture.

Thai and Western culture are worlds apart and combining the two seems to fail in the most part, or those that succeed either work real hard, or the girl is very open minded/forward thinking.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

if u are talking about an undereducated or close minded girl then the farang has to compromise more, or also if u end up living in ur gfs home village/town. however i find some people make too much of supposed differences.

i think its less about thai/western culture and more to do with individual personalities that will determine the success or failure of a relationship.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Longway, I think you are quite right there, it's the persons not the cultures.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think is mixture of both...culture is an issue particurlarly at the beginning...

Our language, our food, our costums ( when we eat, what time we go to sleep...)

I have leave abroad for sometime an my culture was a big issue at the beginning...

However in any relationship the culture different can be overcome if both parts put some effort to make it work...

But we should not forget that the daily life in a different country can sometimes be hard until you get used to and you understand the culture of that country...

But I want to add that the way a person is has lots to do with how the situation will evolve...

Edited November 13, 2005 by Glauka

[siamesekitty]

I think is mixture of both...culture is an issue particurlarly at the beginning...

Our language, our food, our costums ( when we eat, what time we go to sleep...)

I have leave abroad for sometime an my culture was a big issue at the beginning...

However in any relationship the culture different can be overcome if both parts put some effort to make it work...

But we should not forget that the daily life in a different country can sometimes be hard until you get used to and you understand the culture of that country...

But I want to add that the way a person is  has lots to do with how the situation will evolve...

de acuerdo!

[Glauka]

I think is mixture of both...culture is an issue particurlarly at the beginning...

Our language, our food, our costums ( when we eat, what time we go to sleep...)

I have leave abroad for sometime an my culture was a big issue at the beginning...

However in any relationship the culture different can be overcome if both parts put some effort to make it work...

But we should not forget that the daily life in a different country can sometimes be hard until you get used to and you understand the culture of that country...

But I want to add that the way a person is  has lots to do with how the situation will evolve...

de acuerdo!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet you are siamekitty!!!!!!

[johnleepbs]

Longway, I think you are quite right there, it's the persons not the cultures.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Agreed! I do not often post here because of the vast numbers of sad individuals who are here for minor tittilation, or are internet geeks, or just hope to "score" with a bargirl (read...errrr....prostitute) in Thailand.

I have lived in the much maligned (by the "expert" bar flies) Issan for 10 years, and there are all types here. I married a Thai lady, and she cares more about person than culture; and in return I care and try, as best I can, about her culture and understand. It's not an obstacle between us; its almost a joke that keeps us apart, and drives us together as well.

It is about the person....

To be bluntly honest, the sad individuals who come here...Thailand and this forum, looking for cheap thrill in Pattaya or wherever.. do....IMHO...need some relationship councelling....or would do the world a favour by getting the next flight from Don Muang

Edited November 13, 2005 by johnleepbs

[OZONE]

If I had one piece of advice for guys taking a Thai woman back home it would be 'keep her away from other Thais as much as you can'. I'm a fluent Thai speaker and I've been in the company of Thais overseas, the whole topic of almost every conversation is spitful gossip laced with green eyed envy. That has a huge amount to do with background and education.

Your fluency with the Thai language is a great advantage in this regard, but is it only Thai women who gossip about possessions, wealth and other such things?

In Australia, the Thai population is increasing rapidly. Today, we have Loy Krathong being celebrated officially in at least two different locations in Sydney. Thousands of Thais will be in attendance, so keeping Thais apart is virtually impossible....unless you lock them up.

For Thais to integrate properly into Farangland society, they need to have a feeling of belonging to that society.

We men bring our g/f's out to Farangland on at least two separate tourist visas. These visas should give us all a fairly good idea of how our partners will cope with living in Farangland.

The Thai women living in Australia that I know, want to be self sufficient. They want to meet their obligation to their families back in Thailand, by supporting them financially, so obtaining work is very important to them.

The most difficult thing is to find our g/f's full time work. Lack of education and experience are hinderers.

My g/f is employed as a full-time casual in the hospitality industry. Her salary is at the lower end of the average pay scale but she loves her work. Her wages far surpass what she could be expected to earn if she still lived in Thailand.

She is able to support her family back home and she feels important as she no longer has a need for my financial assistance.

When women have a feeling of belonging and are self-sufficient, they can live happily anywhere in the world.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Can't agree with you more. She'll be happy as long as she do not feel like she's depending on you for everything. Also, I suggest having her attend local school, community college etc... for sense of accomplishent.

[Glauka]

Longway, I think you are quite right there, it's the persons not the cultures.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Agreed! I do not often post here because of the vast numbers of sad individuals who are here for minor tittilation, or are internet geeks, or just hope to "score" with a bargirl (read...errrr....prostitute) in Thailand.

I have lived in the much maligned (by the "expert" bar flies) Issan for 10 years, and there are all types here. I married a Thai lady, and she cares more about person than culture; and in return I care and try, as best I can, about her culture and understand. It's not an obstacle between us; its almost a joke that keeps us apart, and drives us together as well.

It is about the person....

To be bluntly honest, the sad individuals who come here...Thailand and this forum, looking for cheap thrill in Pattaya or wherever.. do....IMHO...need some relationship councelling....or would do the world a favour by getting the next flight from Don Muang

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So after all the culture issue is present in your relationship...

When you say that there is a vast numbers of sad individuals who are here for minor tittilation, or are internet geeks, or just hope to "score" with a bargirl.

You mean like 60%...70%...

And what do you mean by internet geeks...I think you are rushing when posting your opinion about people writting in this forum...

[DrJohn]

When you say that there is a vast numbers of sad individuals who are here for minor tittilation, or are internet geeks, or just hope to "score" with a bargirl.

You mean like 60%...70%...

And what do you mean by internet geeks...I think you are rushing when posting your opinion about people writting in this forum...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I can understand his ideas about members of this forum. I have noticed a lot of posters are normal and fairly reasonable in their replies BUT....

there are a lot of posters who are very aggressive in their responses, who display a misplaced sense of superiority to those whose English is not perfect, who are very "full of themselves" and their opinions.

Unfortunate, but maybe a normal mix of people? It does tend to frighten some newbies away though, and even make more mature posters shy away. I seem to remember Bambina, for instance, being almost ready to give up.

[sonthaya]

relationships between to people from differant cultures are allways difficult, you both have to be open minded, try to understand the thai culture first and the people. DONT RUSH!! you have plenty of time get to know the girl , sure she might want everything quick, but if she,s a good one time wont matter. see how you get on for a while, meet the family ect. And most of all treat the realationship like any other if you get on great, if you dont you dont. But take your time.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You have some good points there, I'm from Denmark and my wife is Thai, we have ben married just over 12 years, and living in Denmark for 7 years after 5 years in Oman, it has taken a lot of adjustments from both sides, but I'm happy to say it works. We have a good marrige - relationship.

[Glauka]

When you say that there is a vast numbers of sad individuals who are here for minor tittilation, or are internet geeks, or just hope to "score" with a bargirl.

You mean like 60%...70%...

And what do you mean by internet geeks...I think you are rushing when posting your opinion about people writting in this forum...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I can understand his ideas about members of this forum. I have noticed a lot of posters are normal and fairly reasonable in their replies BUT....

there are a lot of posters who are very aggressive in their responses, who display a misplaced sense of superiority to those whose English is not perfect, who are very "full of themselves" and their opinions.

Unfortunate, but maybe a normal mix of people? It does tend to frighten some newbies away though, and even make more mature posters shy away. I seem to remember Bambina, for instance, being almost ready to give up.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I cannot disagree with you because I have not been a member of thaivisa long enough...

So far my experience have been quite the opposite...of course I have found some post i bit too agressive...but most of the times I have learn something from the people posting in this forum...

the agressive remarks just help me to reinforce the though " luckily I am not so close-minded" but that is just my opinion...

Johnleepbs, sorry you are free to think anything you want...and I hope I have not posted anything here yet that upset you...

Edited November 14, 2005 by Glauka

[cobra]

... If I had one piece of advice for guys taking a Thai woman back home it would be 'keep her away from other Thais as much as you can, ..

Unfortunately you are quite correct on this,

In several instances, I had friends who misguidedly thought that introducing their new GFs / wives to the local Thai community would help them assimilate and feel less isolated.

What it did was provide a mechanism to up-grade there perceived situation, ie, they soon dumped their current for someone else with the help and support from their new Thai associates,

[TAWP]

That would only be a problem if one isn't so great as one has been telling the young woman...

[thaibebop]

That would only be a problem if one isn't so great as one has been telling the young woman...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I wonder if they ever thought of it that way?

[A. BOOZER]

I married a Thai lady, and she cares more about person than culture; and in return I care and try, as best I can, about her culture and understand. It's not an obstacle between us; its almost a joke that keeps us apart, and drives us together as well.

It is about the person....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So very true! My wife and I enjoy learning from each other, the do's and don'ts of our countries and their respective cultures, let alone the language.