A Letter Written In Uk To Passport Office

[DEVATSAR]

Please read, SUMS IT ALL UP REALLY

This apparently is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office.

Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone

number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back

in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody

born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have

on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed

for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving

license, my car insurance, on the last eight dam_n passports I've had,

on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out

before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all

those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's

name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely

astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you and me,

I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house,

then you ask me for my bloody address!!!!

What is going on? Do you have a gang of neanderthal <deleted> workin'

there? Look at my dam_n picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want

to dig up Yasser Arafat, for gods sake. I just want to go and park my

arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me,

why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next

15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a

goat, believe you me, you'd be the last bloody people I'd want to tell

!!

Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to the other end of the

poxy city to get yet another copy of my birth certificate, to the tune

of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same

spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??

Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too dam_n easy and maybe make sense. You'd

rather have us running all over the bloody place like chickens with our

heads cut off, then have to find some arsehol_e to confirm that it's

really me on the dam_n picture - you know, the one where we're not

allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic morons) Hey, do you know why we

couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!

Signed

An Irate Subject

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone

to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since

1776 ............ I have served in the military for something over 30

years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years

enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world.

......... However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am

- you know, someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN SODDING

PAKISTAN !

[PoorSucker]

Best rant of the year.

But the goat thing was....

[MAJIC]

Very amusing,

but the writers viewpoint is somewhat out of date,

Passports & Copy Birth Certificate,(£13.99) Road Tax, etc can be applied for and paid online,to name but three!

He could have ordered all three in the time it took him to have his rant.

[endure]

Why does he need yet another copy of his birth certificate? Does he have Alzheimer's? Can't he remember where he put the last one? Just Little England whining again.

Edited October 26, 2011 by endure

[Maestro]

Yes, very much out of date, and it is a bogus email, a hoax, anyway.

...all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out

before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years...

What was the last year when a UK citizen had to fill out a customs declaration form on a flight to the UK? This alleged "actual letter" started as a hoax many years ago, circulated by email in different versions for Canada, USA and UK: http://www.snarlyboodle.com/a-typical-fake-email-annotated/

This has no place in the visa forum. I thought of moving it to the jokes forum, but it isn't a joke, either.