Late Panic-Shopper Reluctantly Stocks Up On Foie Gras, Sparking Water

[Boater]

SATIRE

VILLA MARKET, BANGKOK – A late attempt at panic-buying forced central Bangkok resident Henry Porter, an American expat, to stock up on several months’ supply of exotic and expensive imported foods yesterday.With panic buying having already taken place among most of the city’s 12 million population, Porter’s decision to wait until the last minute forced him to confront empty shelves bereft of basic supplies like drinking water, pasta and basic canned goods.

“I was hoping to get some reasonably cheap stuff, like maybe tuna fish or peanut butter,” the 44-year-old HSBC executive said. “But by the time I got to Villa, pretty much everything was gone – except, well, this stuff,” he said, indicating his shopping cart which contained 12 frozen French goose livers, a half kilogram of Camembert cheese, a jar of Claussen pickles, 11 pints of Haagen Dazs ice cream, 800 grams of Milano salami, three jars of sun-dried tomatoes, 30 bags of Kettle chips and various fresh produce from abroad, including hydroponic Dutch vine-grown tomatoes and 10 packs of fresh rocket.

“I guess I’m going to eat real well if I get stuck here,” he said. “At least until the power goes off,” he added, indicating the cheese and frozen goose livers.

Porter’s search for drinking water also led him down an embarrassing path of overpriced, second-choice items.

“They were totally out of water, even Evian, so I had to get 30 liters of San Pelligrino sparkling,” he said. “I mean I like Pelligrino, but this will be a real test.”

After searching in vain for water substitutes, including ice and fruit juice, Porter reluctantly added 24 cans of imported American Budweiser beer to his cart.

“It’s pretty expensive,” he admitted, referring to the price of Bt110 per can. “But Budweiser is about as close as beer gets to being plain water, so I think this will keep me hydrated in an emergency.”

Even basic supplies like cooking oil and butane were in short supply, forcing Porter to buy extra virgin olive oil and Kingston charcoals instead.

“I have a grill on the balcony, so I can always cook there if my induction range loses power,” he said. “Good thing too, since I have all this Wagyu ribeye steak and Australian lamb.”

Upon reaching the checkout, Porter’s total grocery bill was Bt45,932. While it was far more than what he had intended to spend on his panic buy, Porter expressed overall satisfaction with his mission to prepare himself for flood.

“Even if the power goes out and I lose refrigeration, I can always marinate everything,” he said. “I’ve got nineteen bottles of 1998 Appellation Haute-Medoc here and I can’t possibly drink it all.”

source - http://notthenation.com/2011/10/late-panic-shopper-reluctantly-stocks-up-on-foie-gras-sparking-water/

[smokie36]

Luckily I have four cases of Castlemaine so there's no need to filter it before I feed my two cocker spaniels.

[lazygourmet]

555...

But no so far from reality... Yesterday morning, shelves at BigC -Bang Yai- had only Perrier, Vittel and Evian water!

[BKKdreaming]

Thats amazing that you would spend that much , but I guess if he works for the bank he can afford it .

But Bt45,932 is $1500 , and I am sureyou could have bought EVERYTHING in a 7-11 for that....

I would almost say this was an April fools joke , but hey its on the internet so it must be true

Stay dry

BK

[SweRob]

I bought all the tampongs at my local 7eleven. I figure i can use them as a raft, when the flooding actually hits.

[Kananga]

Thats amazing that you would spend that much , but I guess if he works for the bank he can afford it .

But Bt45,932 is $1500 , and I am sureyou could have bought EVERYTHING in a 7-11 for that....

I would almost say this was an April fools joke , but hey its on the internet so it must be true

Stay dry

BK

You do realise it's a .... oh never mind.

[jybkk]

Thats amazing that you would spend that much , but I guess if he works for the bank he can afford it .

But Bt45,932 is $1500 , and I am sureyou could have bought EVERYTHING in a 7-11 for that....

I would almost say this was an April fools joke , but hey its on the internet so it must be true

Stay dry

BK

You do realise it's a .... oh never mind.

I know!

I'm always surprised to see expats in Thailand who never heard of "Not The Nation".

[CharlieH]

Comes to something when DRINKING WATER is nearly 3 times the price of Petrol !!!

Big C yesterday a 1ltr bottle of water was 83 baht !! petrol (91) is 27 baht .

[aussiebebe]

555...

But no so far from reality... Yesterday morning, shelves at BigC -Bang Yai- had only Perrier, Vittel and Evian water!

I agree, it's great satire with little gems of truth:

Budweiser is about as close as beer gets to being plain water

[theoldgit]

I bought all the tampongs at my local 7eleven. I figure i can use them as a raft, when the flooding actually hits.

I bought some in Villa, I had originally gone in for goose liver and sparkling water but it had all gone, I used the tampons to soak up all the water in my soi, I''m a local hero now.

By the way Tops has no beer, but plenty of baby formula.

[creck]

Water rising in our Soi and our wall leaks. I can still laugh – thanks guys.

BTW our stock includes 12 bottles sparking orange juice is that acceptable? He could certainly have bought the whole 7/11 in our village – hardly anything left on the shelves.

[BigRick]

No shortage of pasta All the rice and noodles are gone but I see tons of pasta.

[PattayaPhom]

Its not a laughing matter....water is nowhere to be found in Pattaya, I remember the same in Phuket when the Tsunami came so stocked up with plenty now.

[Kananga]

No shortage of pasta All the rice and noodles are gone but I see tons of pasta.

Let me guess, there is no shortage of lamb or cheese there either?

[Lifer]

Superstores in Chiangmai full of Thais buying up everything they can get their hands on. Baskets full of multiple items. Many shelves empty or without any choice but inferior brands that get bought last. Just back from third store trying to find some basic items and the parking lot is full at Hangdong Big C. Signs going up to limit purshases like cooking oil etc.