A Confused English Guy With A Thai Girlfriend

[saxpirant]

What name she goes by depends on the day,and if any of her previous suckers/money trees are in the bar!!

[manarak]

Thai girls should stay in Thailand, after a short while in England they become English girls, and you won't want that.

very very true!

[losworld]

First just use the spell check although you do need to work on your spelling lol.

Some excellent advice on this board. She is only 22 so young and maybe fresh off a farm. She probably doesn't know what she wants yet and is maybe just grabbing for the first secure thing she can latch on to although she probably does find you compatible to an extent (no insult intended). Also odds are she is milking a few other falangs in the process - seems to me with Asian women they like to shop around often in many shops:)

These girls are excellent actors/companions in the short term and very convincing in making you feel like you are special, the one and only, etc. You say you have had many attractive women in England but ask yourself if they were really as attractive to you as the Thai girl, as fun loving, etc.

If you rent a car you rarely have to worry about breakdowns but when you buy the car it is different. Why don't you go to Thailand and tell her you ran out of money and will need to live off of her for the next three months and you are not sure if you will have a job when you get back. I think you already know the answer to this question.

Good luck and have fun with the girls. Don't tie yourself up until you have been to Thailand many many times.

[manarak]

Why don't you go to Thailand and tell her you ran out of money and will need to live off of her for the next three months and you are not sure if you will have a job when you get back. I think you already know the answer to this question.

This is a dumb thing to do - almost every woman would dump a guy like that, except if it is crazy super-duper love...

But living with her for some months in Thailand on maybe 15 or 20k a month is the way to go to "test her love"

[outofoz]

What would you like to know? Bare in mind that i'm not a scientist or anything, so my statements should not be misstaken for facts, but i will try my best

lol... I'll take whatever you say as your personal experience... I am not in any way looking at owning a bar.. but i like to hear peoples experiences of business ownership in Thailand..call me perverse if u want..

I'd be interested in why you initially set up a bar in Thailand, how long you ran it for, and what you found to be the pitfalls and the highlights of running the bar.

[losworld]

Why don't you go to Thailand and tell her you ran out of money and will need to live off of her for the next three months and you are not sure if you will have a job when you get back. I think you already know the answer to this question.

This is a dumb thing to do - almost every woman would dump a guy like that, except if it is crazy super-duper love...

But living with her for some months in Thailand on maybe 15 or 20k a month is the way to go to "test her love"

Just making a point dummy

[kerryk]

What would you like to know? Bare in mind that i'm not a scientist or anything, so my statements should not be misstaken for facts, but i will try my best

lol... I'll take whatever you say as your personal experience... I am not in any way looking at owning a bar.. but i like to hear peoples experiences of business ownership in Thailand..call me perverse if u want..

I'd be interested in why you initially set up a bar in Thailand, how long you ran it for, and what you found to be the pitfalls and the highlights of running the bar.

95% failure rate in the bar business world wide. Why bother? Or, you could google Boss Hog or the Arab in Bangkok. My personal favorite is Dave with the wooden leg in Pattaya, some funny stories there and of course Marc the Frenchman but he retired. As in any business don't take advice from the losers, talk to the winners.

[outofoz]

What would you like to know? Bare in mind that i'm not a scientist or anything, so my statements should not be misstaken for facts, but i will try my best

lol... I'll take whatever you say as your personal experience... I am not in any way looking at owning a bar.. but i like to hear peoples experiences of business ownership in Thailand..call me perverse if u want..

I'd be interested in why you initially set up a bar in Thailand, how long you ran it for, and what you found to be the pitfalls and the highlights of running the bar.

95% failure rate in the bar business world wide. Why bother? Or, you could google Boss Hog or the Arab in Bangkok. My personal favorite is Dave with the wooden leg in Pattaya, some funny stories there and of course Marc the Frenchman but he retired. As in any business don't take advice from the losers, talk to the winners.

Thanks Kerry, ill google those you suggested and have a read! It is the failed business stories i am interested in.

I'm not interested, EVER, in owning a bar, or hotel, or any such business. It's been offered a few times by acquiantances and friends. I was nearly tempted to buy a hair salon/coffee shop for my first thai GF ... whew! that i even considered that shows i was raw!

[kerryk]

What would you like to know? Bare in mind that i'm not a scientist or anything, so my statements should not be misstaken for facts, but i will try my best

lol... I'll take whatever you say as your personal experience... I am not in any way looking at owning a bar.. but i like to hear peoples experiences of business ownership in Thailand..call me perverse if u want..

I'd be interested in why you initially set up a bar in Thailand, how long you ran it for, and what you found to be the pitfalls and the highlights of running the bar.

95% failure rate in the bar business world wide. Why bother? Or, you could google Boss Hog or the Arab in Bangkok. My personal favorite is Dave with the wooden leg in Pattaya, some funny stories there and of course Marc the Frenchman but he retired. As in any business don't take advice from the losers, talk to the winners.

Thanks Kerry, ill google those you suggested and have a read! It is the failed business stories i am interested in.

I'm not interested, EVER, in owning a bar, or hotel, or any such business. It's been offered a few times by acquiantances and friends. I was nearly tempted to buy a hair salon/coffee shop for my first thai GF ... whew! that i even considered that shows i was raw!

I have been in the Hospitality and restaurant business in a number of countries for 30 years. I was going to open a restaurant in Thailand. I looked for 3 years. The successful people here in the business work too hard for my taste.

The small amount of paperwork and bureaucratic stuff is nice as are the small bribes relative to Western and other countries but the work is too hard. I took a Thai politician to Chicago to meet some Aldermen so he could learn how to really shakedown a restaurant because they are really novices at the game here.

The product they turn out for 30 Baht is way to labor intensive for me to try and compete.

There is an easy way to open a bar or restaurant in Thailand. Hire a person to do it and do the paperwork in Singapore. As an investor you can enforce contracts there even if the work is done in Thailand. :jap:

[Gonsalviz]

Here we go again.

I am from the been here a long time/cynics camp.

I can't advise you as to what you should, or shouldn't, do. Just some obseravations and things you may want to consider:

1. You are a first timer or a newbie. This is what happens to first timers or newbies. It's all rather an exotic and overwhelming experience. Once you've been here (the LOS) a few times it won't be so exotic and overwhelming.

2. Would you marry a prostitute back where you come from?

3. You're only 27, what's the rush to tie the knot? Stay single for a few more years and enjoy yourself in the LOS.

4. The only reason to enter into a long term relationship/marriage with any woman is to have kids. Are you ready for that? Because if you bring her over to the U.K., that's exactly what's going to happen.

5. Are you ready to provide financial assistence to the extended family you'll get with the girl?

6. Are you ready to pay a fee (sin sod) for marrying the girl?

7. Taking a young, poorly educated Thai girl with minimal life/work skills out of Thailand is never a good idea.

Sin sod should not be due as she has a kid.

[goldcountry]

As long as you don't mind being one of many other guys just like you, and probably another Thai guy as well then I guess its okay. You're crazy if you send money though. Thai girls have money already they're not nearly as destitute as they would have you believe. Especially if they are attractive.

[goldcountry]

Here we go again.

I am from the been here a long time/cynics camp.

I can't advise you as to what you should, or shouldn't, do. Just some obseravations and things you may want to consider:

1. You are a first timer or a newbie. This is what happens to first timers or newbies. It's all rather an exotic and overwhelming experience. Once you've been here (the LOS) a few times it won't be so exotic and overwhelming.

2. Would you marry a prostitute back where you come from?

3. You're only 27, what's the rush to tie the knot? Stay single for a few more years and enjoy yourself in the LOS.

4. The only reason to enter into a long term relationship/marriage with any woman is to have kids. Are you ready for that? Because if you bring her over to the U.K., that's exactly what's going to happen.

5. Are you ready to provide financial assistence to the extended family you'll get with the girl?

6. Are you ready to pay a fee (sin sod) for marrying the girl?

7. Taking a young, poorly educated Thai girl with minimal life/work skills out of Thailand is never a good idea.

Sin sod should not be due as she has a kid.

The sinsod scam is a joke. Anybody willing to pay that needs their head examined.

[Gonsalviz]

Holy cow you are mucking about with the way of life of expats in Thailand for the past 200 years.

Let me advise you. First you marry an English girl. Get a job and start a family in England. Make sure your children are educated and well off by the time your English wife wants to trade you in for a cat.

She gets a cat and a house and then you move to Thailand. Don't rush things. There are many experiences with marriage in the West that for sure you don't want to miss out on. You won't be ready for the trials and tribulations of life in Thailand unless you have some boot camp of being married in the West first.

You see things can get pretty bad in Thailand with floods, floating poop, angry ex husbands and loony family members but you will be ready for them after 30 years of marriage in the West.

Frankly you won't realize what a paradise Thailand and a 25 year old bar girl are unless you have 30 years of marriage with a cold inhospitable climate in the west under your belt.

Take things in order. Get married in the West and then after 30 years find paradise in Thailand.

The visa system, bar system and everything in Thailand is geared for this natural order of things.

Couldn't have said it better.

[JetsetBkk]

The sinsod scam is a joke. Anybody willing to pay that needs their head examined.

Not been here long, have you. I suggest you read this topic:

[goldcountry]

The sinsod scam is a joke. Anybody willing to pay that needs their head examined.

Not been here long, have you. I suggest you read this topic:

http://www.thaivisa....__1#entry915637

Been living here full time for 4 years, been coming here for 10, thai wife, thai daugher and I speak Thai.

The sinsod is a JOKE and a 19th century scam. If you are with a girl who demands you pay it, then go find another girl because of two problems:

1) if she is demanding a sinsod she is so hopelessly isolated in her culture you will never understand each other and it won't work anyway.

2) you're a farang and you are being scammed.

Just say no to the dowry if you're smart. If you want to be another cautionary tale go right ahead.

Edited October 31, 2011 by goldcountry

[Tattoo180sx]

You should be up front and frank at the start so to iron out any taboos. I told my gf that I won't pay any dowrys, family 'sickness', travel or bills that don't have my name on it. Shes never asked me for a penny and to be honest pays pretty much exactly 50% of shared bills. Very rarely gets jealous either. Shes a southerner.

Dont 'pay" for Thai culture if you don't have to.

[mr78]

lol... I'll take whatever you say as your personal experience... I am not in any way looking at owning a bar.. but i like to hear peoples experiences of business ownership in Thailand..call me perverse if u want..

I'd be interested in why you initially set up a bar in Thailand, how long you ran it for, and what you found to be the pitfalls and the highlights of running the bar.

Well, i've been spending 6 months a year in Los and spent around 500k/bath every time, so i figured i might as well spend the money on something that could generate an income (i know...), and i do like bars.

One day an ad popped up on a website, this English guy wanted to sell his bar for 1,mil, i rang him up and said i would rent it for a year and he agreed. I ran it for about 8 months before i got feed up with it. I drank alot since being around drunk people when you're sober is an experience i would'nt wish my worst enemy, and when i was drunk i gave free booze for everyone, which gave me a bunch of regulars...

I had some good fun, met som cool people, made some friends, got an experience richer and pretty much broke even. The pitfalls would be the drinking and the boredom of hanging out in the same bar every day, bars are fun when you can leave for another bar anytime you wish..

[chiang mai]

My experience with bar girls is that most of them just want to find a nice man (around the same age) to marry and have a stable life with. However my experience is based on Phuket bar girls (i had a bar there for a while). For sure there are som scammers out there, but not as many as some people make it out to be.

Pro tip: do not buy a bar in Thailand!

+1

[bifftastic]

Here we go again.

I am from the been here a long time/cynics camp.

I can't advise you as to what you should, or shouldn't, do. Just some obseravations and things you may want to consider:

1. You are a first timer or a newbie. This is what happens to first timers or newbies. It's all rather an exotic and overwhelming experience. Once you've been here (the LOS) a few times it won't be so exotic and overwhelming.

2. Would you marry a prostitute back where you come from?

3. You're only 27, what's the rush to tie the knot? Stay single for a few more years and enjoy yourself in the LOS.

4. The only reason to enter into a long term relationship/marriage with any woman is to have kids. Are you ready for that? Because if you bring her over to the U.K., that's exactly what's going to happen.

5. Are you ready to provide financial assistence to the extended family you'll get with the girl?

6. Are you rady to pay a fee (sin sod) for marrying the girl?

7. Taking a young, poorly educated Thai girl with minimal life/work skills out of Thailand is never a good idea.

Spot on answer. Thankyou for your insite. Just a bit of a reply, I like things how they are, you know, going over there and basicly holidaying with her. She is a great girl. I understand and know what a challange that would be to bring her to the uk. I applied for a holiday visa as soon as I got bk to the uk and it got massivly turned down. (yeah know everything about that now!) I am fairly busy with working in england. Sometimes I feel a little guilty that she may be pinning all her hopes on me. She doesnt relise quite the size of a commitment from me that would require her to come and live in england. SHe calls me all the time and i do think the world of her but she does live 6500 miles away. Again thankyou for the reply

Ah yeah, and the thing you said about supporting the extended family, is that how thai people live? I explained to her that I dont give my mum or dad money. I stand on my own 2 feet and there fine and look after themselves, they dont need any looking after. Her father died 9 years ago and her mother takes care of her little girl. She has been working in samui for about 11 months, maybe a little less than that. I see all the stories about having a child with a thai man then they run off, well thats exactly whats happened here. Back to the original point, I find it haed to grasp that she has to look after her family. I would have thought she would of wanted to see her little girl grow up?

She has friends in Samui, They love there job and dont want any farang boyfriends. They just like being with a new bloke every night. She finds that strange and I do a little but can understand they think there the queens of the island, blokes spunking money on them every night, drinks, hotels. Bit like a cheap rockstar. LOL.

I do take onboard your concerns with bringing a young uneducated girl bk to england and share that one with you no doubt!

I'd advise you to just keep things as they are for a while.

You'll begin to understand the way things work in Thailand, yes they do take care of their parents, it's a bit upside down to our way of thinking but you'll get used to it.

It is indeed very possible that you are not the only one on her speed dial, but it may be that you are.

You'll just have to wait and see.

I've got a mate in a similar situation, he works hard over here, goes over quite a few times a year to see one special girl, she also works in a bar, he doesn't mind, doesn't send her money but looks after her when they're together. It works very well for both of them.

If I were you, I'd fend off any talk of visas or moving to the UK for quite some considerable time. You'll have to have proof of a long-term relationship to get one anyway, so for the time being, just enjoy it for what it is, go back over a few times and see what happens.

By the way, what bar in Green Mango does she work at?

[dean999]

Why do people keep saying, you would marry a prostitute in your home country. Have you seen what they look like in the UK. It would save me a long flight if they were the same.

[lyne55]

Here we go again.

I am from the been here a long time/cynics camp.

I can't advise you as to what you should, or shouldn't, do. Just some obseravations and things you may want to consider:

1. You are a first timer or a newbie. This is what happens to first timers or newbies. It's all rather an exotic and overwhelming experience. Once you've been here (the LOS) a few times it won't be so exotic and overwhelming.

2. Would you marry a prostitute back where you come from?

3. You're only 27, what's the rush to tie the knot? Stay single for a few more years and enjoy yourself in the LOS.

4. The only reason to enter into a long term relationship/marriage with any woman is to have kids. Are you ready for that? Because if you bring her over to the U.K., that's exactly what's going to happen.

5. Are you ready to provide financial assistence to the extended family you'll get with the girl?

6. Are you rady to pay a fee (sin sod) for marrying the girl?

7. Taking a young, poorly educated Thai girl with minimal life/work skills out of Thailand is never a good idea.

Spot on answer. Thankyou for your insite. Just a bit of a reply, I like things how they are, you know, going over there and basicly holidaying with her. She is a great girl. I understand and know what a challange that would be to bring her to the uk. I applied for a holiday visa as soon as I got bk to the uk and it got massivly turned down. (yeah know everything about that now!) I am fairly busy with working in england. Sometimes I feel a little guilty that she may be pinning all her hopes on me. She doesnt relise quite the size of a commitment from me that would require her to come and live in england. SHe calls me all the time and i do think the world of her but she does live 6500 miles away. Again thankyou for the reply

Ah yeah, and the thing you said about supporting the extended family, is that how thai people live? I explained to her that I dont give my mum or dad money. I stand on my own 2 feet and there fine and look after themselves, they dont need any looking after. Her father died 9 years ago and her mother takes care of her little girl. She has been working in samui for about 11 months, maybe a little less than that. I see all the stories about having a child with a thai man then they run off, well thats exactly whats happened here. Back to the original point, I find it haed to grasp that she has to look after her family. I would have thought she would of wanted to see her little girl grow up?

She has friends in Samui, They love there job and dont want any farang boyfriends. They just like being with a new bloke every night. She finds that strange and I do a little but can understand they think there the queens of the island, blokes spunking money on them every night, drinks, hotels. Bit like a cheap rockstar. LOL.

I do take onboard your concerns with bringing a young uneducated girl bk to england and share that one with you no doubt!

I'd advise you to just keep things as they are for a while.

You'll begin to understand the way things work in Thailand, yes they do take care of their parents, it's a bit upside down to our way of thinking but you'll get used to it.

It is indeed very possible that you are not the only one on her speed dial, but it may be that you are.

You'll just have to wait and see.

I've got a mate in a similar situation, he works hard over here, goes over quite a few times a year to see one special girl, she also works in a bar, he doesn't mind, doesn't send her money but looks after her when they're together. It works very well for both of them.

If I were you, I'd fend off any talk of visas or moving to the UK for quite some considerable time. You'll have to have proof of a long-term relationship to get one anyway, so for the time being, just enjoy it for what it is, go back over a few times and see what happens.

By the way, what bar in Green Mango does she work at?

She doesnt work in the green mango, ile assume you have been there many times Thats just where she picks up men I suppose. Theres loads of them in there. I saw her friend today in the background on skype.. Quite nice if i do say so myself. Yeah I dont send her money on a regular basis. I had just been over there for a couple of months and she wanted to go home rather than go back to samui. She cant go home with no money and seeing as she had been with me for 2 weeks she didnt earn none. as you can imagine she is like the bank of thailand when she walks through the door. everyone wants a slice. I see it with my own eyes. lol.

[Swiss1960]

I'd advise you to just keep things as they are for a while.

You'll begin to understand the way things work in Thailand, yes they do take care of their parents, it's a bit upside down to our way of thinking but you'll get used to it.

It is indeed very possible that you are not the only one on her speed dial, but it may be that you are.

You'll just have to wait and see.

She doesnt work in the green mango, ile assume you have been there many times Thats just where she picks up men I suppose. Theres loads of them in there. I saw her friend today in the background on skype.. Quite nice if i do say so myself. Yeah I dont send her money on a regular basis. I had just been over there for a couple of months and she wanted to go home rather than go back to samui. She cant go home with no money and seeing as she had been with me for 2 weeks she didnt earn none. as you can imagine she is like the bank of thailand when she walks through the door. everyone wants a slice. I see it with my own eyes. lol.

You got a good answer here. Keep it the way it is and wait and see. If you are with her, give her money for the time she spends with you as she can't work during that time (whatever work she would do), take her out for eat and shopping. If you are back home and she asks you for 10K to go back to her family once a year (and not more), send her the money if you don't go broke and that's how you keep her happy and will be rewarded next time you go there and see her. But never forget that sending money to a girl (no matter where she comes from...) is like investing in high risk shares and you never know whether you still get interest in 6 months time, so you better only invest what you can afford to write down to zero in your books the minute you invest.

You still have years to decide what to do and learn about Thailand and Thai culture and Thai girls (yes, they can be very seductive..)

[losworld]

I'd advise you to just keep things as they are for a while.

You'll begin to understand the way things work in Thailand, yes they do take care of their parents, it's a bit upside down to our way of thinking but you'll get used to it.

It is indeed very possible that you are not the only one on her speed dial, but it may be that you are.

You'll just have to wait and see.

She doesnt work in the green mango, ile assume you have been there many times Thats just where she picks up men I suppose. Theres loads of them in there. I saw her friend today in the background on skype.. Quite nice if i do say so myself. Yeah I dont send her money on a regular basis. I had just been over there for a couple of months and she wanted to go home rather than go back to samui. She cant go home with no money and seeing as she had been with me for 2 weeks she didnt earn none. as you can imagine she is like the bank of thailand when she walks through the door. everyone wants a slice. I see it with my own eyes. lol.

You got a good answer here. Keep it the way it is and wait and see. If you are with her, give her money for the time she spends with you as she can't work during that time (whatever work she would do), take her out for eat and shopping. If you are back home and she asks you for 10K to go back to her family once a year (and not more), send her the money if you don't go broke and that's how you keep her happy and will be rewarded next time you go there and see her. But never forget that sending money to a girl (no matter where she comes from...) is like investing in high risk shares and you never know whether you still get interest in 6 months time, so you better only invest what you can afford to write down to zero in your books the minute you invest.

You still have years to decide what to do and learn about Thailand and Thai culture and Thai girls (yes, they can be very seductive..)

In short I think he's trying to say she's a working hooker and you will need to pay her to keep her.

[veryruay]

I will say People like like you better not getting a Thai wife. The sin sod is the Thais pratice. I assumed you are Farang. And why thai ladies chose to marry Farang but not Asian men, because they have a very VERY wrong thinking , thinking Farangs are all rich. Or act rich? They are very naive!!!!! I seen many poor Farangs ( no offence )......

Well Sin sod is one of the traditional practice that even the Thais follow.

If you saying Sin Sod is a Scam is not much different for people calling you a Miser. You want everything free? Tell me where can you find free lunch? Please let me know, I am willing to participate.

You marry a Thai lady to do housework, to serve you in and out and night time to be your slave, and you don't even wanna pay the Sin Sod? What a joke!!!!! Most Thai lady chose to marry a Farang hoping that her husband will take cvare of their family too.

If that is so, why don't you go get a wife from your own country? I doubt you will find one in your country, if not, you will not be coming Thailand to marry one.

The sinsod scam is a joke. Anybody willing to pay that needs their head examined.

Not been here long, have you. I suggest you read this topic:

http://www.thaivisa....__1#entry915637

Been living here full time for 4 years, been coming here for 10, thai wife, thai daugher and I speak Thai.

The sinsod is a JOKE and a 19th century scam. If you are with a girl who demands you pay it, then go find another girl because of two problems:

1) if she is demanding a sinsod she is so hopelessly isolated in her culture you will never understand each other and it won't work anyway.

2) you're a farang and you are being scammed.

Just say no to the dowry if you're smart. If you want to be another cautionary tale go right ahead.

[kenny999]

I will say People like like you better not getting a Thai wife. The sin sod is the Thais pratice. I assumed you are Farang. And why thai ladies chose to marry Farang but not Asian men, because they have a very VERY wrong thinking , thinking Farangs are all rich. Or act rich? They are very naive!!!!! I seen many poor Farangs ( no offence )......

Well Sin sod is one of the traditional practice that even the Thais follow.

If you saying Sin Sod is a Scam is not much different for people calling you a Miser. You want everything free? Tell me where can you find free lunch? Please let me know, I am willing to participate.

You marry a Thai lady to do housework, to serve you in and out and night time to be your slave, and you don't even wanna pay the Sin Sod? What a joke!!!!! Most Thai lady chose to marry a Farang hoping that her husband will take cvare of their family too.

If that is so, why don't you go get a wife from your own country? I doubt you will find one in your country, if not, you will not be coming Thailand to marry one.

The sinsod scam is a joke. Anybody willing to pay that needs their head examined.

Not been here long, have you. I suggest you read this topic:

http://www.thaivisa....__1#entry915637

Been living here full time for 4 years, been coming here for 10, thai wife, thai daugher and I speak Thai.

The sinsod is a JOKE and a 19th century scam. If you are with a girl who demands you pay it, then go find another girl because of two problems:

1) if she is demanding a sinsod she is so hopelessly isolated in her culture you will never understand each other and it won't work anyway.

2) you're a farang and you are being scammed.

Just say no to the dowry if you're smart. If you want to be another cautionary tale go right ahead.

Not all Thai girls are bad, there is one thing all Thai girls share and that is the desire to support their family's!!! if you meet a girl you must make it clear you will not support her family but would consider supporting her children if the relationship became permanent, of course there is the other man that will give her and the family every thing nothing wrong in this as long as it is your decision and desire, learn to say NO!!! so many men have their lives destroyed by these girls not because they are bad but because the men fall deeply in love and lose all rationality and the ability to think clearly, I should know it happened to me the first time here but I learnt quickly and only lost a small amount of money others lose every thing!! just be careful keep a clear head and don't think all Thai girls are bad they are only doing what they must, it's up to us to say NO!!!

Unfortunately love is an over whelming and all consuming emotion that will continue to destroy mens lives here!!

Edited November 2, 2011 by kenny999

[Berkshire]

I thought this comment from the OP rather noteworthy:

"I know what she does for a living now (yes that) Funny thing is, as I know, it dont tend to bother me? I just dont want to know."

Try this: Imagine your little 22 yr old doing the dirty with a big, drunken, smelley, vile sort (for realism). And don't just think about it, actually visualize it. Every dirty position imaginable. All night long. Now imagine her with another guy on another night. And another guy. Night after night. Week after week. Now if this doesn't bother you, then you really don't care about her in a real sense. Which is probably where you should be, otherwise it would drive you insane.

[ludditeman]

Unfortunately love is an over whelming and all consuming emotion that will continue to destroy mens lives here!!

Only if you're a big pussy!

[kenny999]

Unfortunately love is an over whelming and all consuming emotion that will continue to destroy mens lives here!!

Only if you're a big pussy!

So many big pussy's in this country glad to see you are not one of them!!!!

[drnkurmlkshk]

No talk of money etc. She stays with me the whole holiday, every day, every night.(10 days) she eats every day with me nd the lads, She comes on every trip. I did give her some money on 2nd day as I felt a bit guilty, surly she should be going to work somewhere? I wanted her to stay with me so only fair I pay her same as a days wages?

Think about how illogical this entire thing is. Would you *pay* a girl to date you back in your home country? Many guys will pay for the outings. But a direct payment? So obviously the "no talk of money" think is basically just BS. You don't get to giving a girl money for her time when you initially *didn't* think she was a hooker. Stop tricking yourself about what this is. If there was *actually* no money, and she didn't ask for any money, and it had been 10 days then maybe you could start to assume that she is not working you. You'd still probably be wrong in this case and she would likely have just been playing the long game, but at least then you'd maybe have a legitimate girl interested in you. I mean I stopped reading your post after I got this far just to confirm it for you: this girl is working you for money. Period.

You later confirm that I was right when you say you shipped her 10,000 baht (which is like 2 months wages - a lot of money - for an uneducated poor Thai girl). Just for arguments sake, in case you aren't convinced yet, a bus ticket each way might run her ~400 baht. So if a trip home costs her maybe 1,000 baht in travel expenses... why does she need way more than that? And all of this is moot because of the logic in the above paragraph which confirms that she is a working girl.

It is truly crazy how easily manipulated some of the guys that come to visit Thailand. My best advice to you is to either:

1. Know that you're in a paid for relationship and enjoy the farce that goes on with that. This is actually a legitimate and not even very expensive option. Hell, this could even include bringing her back to see your home for a while. But you need to keep your head on straight and realize that this girl is *NOT* serious long term relationship material. This is, in fact, the type of girl that can destroy a guy's life.

2. End the relationship if you don't think you can handle separating this "relationship" from being a legitimate one. And in the future don't get into these types of relationships... you can always find an *actually* nice/cute/lovable Thai girl that is not working in the sex industry.

[ludditeman]

2. End the relationship if you don't think you can handle separating this "relationship" from being a legitimate one. And in the future don't get into these types of relationships... you can always find an *actually* nice/cute/lovable Thai girl that is not working in the sex industry.

Unlikely that a tourist could find a Thai girl not working in the sex industry.

Most of the expats living here can't manage to do that.

Some foreigners working here have 'allegedly' managed to find such girls.

What exactly is wrong with those types of relationships? you give them money, they give you fantasy relationship sex, it works for me.