Moonrakers Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Say something and you could very well end up being made out to be the bad guy Say nothing and you could very well end up being made out to be the bad guy. I agree with those that say decline the meeting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovelomsak Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 (edited) Woman the world over scam men to get a house or half a pension or what ever the man has and they want. Would you tell a guy in your home country his fiance was just out to fleece him? I doubt not. You would just stand back and let it happen. And rationalize it with he knows the risks and rules so up to him. I take serious exception to your comment. My husband and I were together 28 years and always earned similar amounts (sometimes I earned more, sometimes he earned more). How DARE you suggest that I was 'scamming' my husband! I agree with the rest of your post though - its his problem, not yours and anyway, he won't believe you. Gee I didnot say it to you, so why hostile. So are you single now and have a house. I am single and available. Edited November 21, 2011 by lovelomsak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tw25rw Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I would meet him. Drop a few hints to make him curious but only give him answers to his questions. If he doesn't want to know, it's his own fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DLock Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 As a member of the Mantribe, I would find a way to tell him. Whilst I don't have a lot of time for strangers, I have less time for scheming whores. If he ignores me and loses everything I will laugh. If she loses her next meal ticket, I will laugh. Theoretically, whatever way it goes, I should get a good laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longbow212 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 (edited) As an earlier poster said - why have anything to do with such a piece of sh1t in the first place. Personally, I would meet the guy, determine his character somewhat and try to ascertain the response you may get upon warning him. Then I would warn him along the lines of; "You've not been in Thailand long have you? Not aware of how many lonely western men come here in love only to lose everything. You may want to read thaivisa.com to discover some of the pitfalls - maybe post a few questions and your personal situation and risks. Now, I thought long and hard about even saying this to you - I think you should take a very long time getting to know this woman before even considering marrying her - please take these words with the utmost seriousness and think about why I might be saying this specifically to you. I will not be anymore specific on this issue and only spoke up because I felt a moral obligation to do so." This would give him a general warning about some of the pitfalls here with a hint that you do not approve of this woman. If he starts asking more questions just direct him to the ex husband. Personally I would welcome a calm and polite warning over any situation like this, I even know of other expats discussing their ex gf with the new partner of the gf through facebook - all unknown to the gf. Edited November 22, 2011 by Longbow212 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinnieTheKhwai Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I have been in this situation. I don't mind meeting anyone; I don't set out to talk bad about someone or deliver a message, but when asked then I will explain in general terms what the risks are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 (edited) I would love to not have to meet them, she is as I said no longer technically related, unfortunately she is bringing him all the way to Nakhon Pathom from Chonburi, at her insistence to meet me (who knows why!). I have said to TW, I am not going to lie for her, but is keeping quiet the same? Her last husband survived btw, the stabbing was only to the leg, but still! I feel she is just doing a show off tour, Mum's youngest brother is the ex-husband, so she is bringing him around to show she can catch a "Rich Farang" like her daughter...lol or some such nonsense. hi ozs . you sure opened a camn of worms with your story .about western men being ripped off by professional scam artists .[thai women ] some guys have only themselves to blame for the hole they get into . as i live in sydney and thailand i see lots of western guys with asian wives .and there is one thing that they all seem to have in common . as soon as they get into australia they knock a kid out of her .and once they do this in australia .the poor bloke is gone .if the marriage goes to shit. she will get half off all he has got. and them he has to pay child maintance till the child is 18 years old .and this about 250 dollars a week per child after tax .and there is no tax rebate .and some of these guys are not young men immagine if you are 45 and your marrage to miss isan goes to shit .and you have to start all over again she has the house because the kids need a place to live .plus the child maintance payments .try starting all over again at 45 its no fun . more to say later james hat yai Which is why I would advise any farang I knew planning on getting married to never buy a house and get a vasectomy. Who would want to be having a kid at 45 anyway? Edited November 22, 2011 by thaibeachlovers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Say something and you could very well end up being made out to be the bad guy Say nothing and you could very well end up being made out to be the bad guy. I agree with those that say decline the meeting. I agree. Getting involved with that sort of dispute is a good way to bring strife on your own head. I lost good friends by giving them advice, so I don't do that anymore. If someone is mug enough to marry a total stranger from an alien culture without a substantial engagement, perhaps they deserve what happens. If I were in that position, I'd send an anonymous letter to the mark giving some links to the many TV threads and other websites about the reality. Then it would be up to him, and my concience would be clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaiIand Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 i often wonder if 90%+ of this forum hangs out at nana... these threads just makes me wonder if its 99%. All i have heard in years is just the random thai husband fooling around and the woman denying it out of thai crazyness.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doublehawk Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 (edited) TIT. Read the Book "Private Dancer. +1 Hand him a copy of Private Dancer, and put him onto ThaiVisa. I don't understand the responses here saying not to do anything. If it was a friend of yours, or even a friend of a friend back home, what would you do? Easy decision for me: tell him the facts, give him the resources to learn more, and the rest is up to him. If he wants to go on with it, then fine, then that's his (informed) decision. Personally, I'd feel like shit if the guy got bankrupted, stabbed or whatever 6 months down the track, and I hadn't said anything. But that's just me. Edited November 22, 2011 by doublehawk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunple Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 "Personally, I'd feel like shit if the guy got bankrupted, stabbed or whatever 6 months down the track, and I hadn't said anything. But that's just me." no, not just you, i'd do the same and feel the same. Tell the guy then it's up to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Tell him what happened to the last guy, anything else is just weakness. Talking about weakness, why are you even in contact with the ex-auntie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeyserSoze01 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 As an earlier poster said - why have anything to do with such a piece of sh1t in the first place. Personally, I would meet the guy, determine his character somewhat and try to ascertain the response you may get upon warning him. Then I would warn him along the lines of; "You've not been in Thailand long have you? Not aware of how many lonely western men come here in love only to lose everything. You may want to read thaivisa.com to discover some of the pitfalls - maybe post a few questions and your personal situation and risks. Now, I thought long and hard about even saying this to you - I think you should take a very long time getting to know this woman before even considering marrying her - please take these words with the utmost seriousness and think about why I might be saying this specifically to you. I will not be anymore specific on this issue and only spoke up because I felt a moral obligation to do so." This would give him a general warning about some of the pitfalls here with a hint that you do not approve of this woman. If he starts asking more questions just direct him to the ex husband. Personally I would welcome a calm and polite warning over any situation like this, I even know of other expats discussing their ex gf with the new partner of the gf through facebook - all unknown to the gf. wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Might as well hit him in the face with a dead fish, it would be just as subtle and the look on his face would be priceless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrfeild Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 You could play it another way! when If you meet the guy, get talking with him, But after they go get in contact with the ex Aunty and tell he doesn't have as much money as she was told etc, in other words try and make the guy look like a fraud. Or tell her, he told you he has AIDS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovelomsak Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 You could play it another way! when If you meet the guy, get talking with him, But after they go get in contact with the ex Aunty and tell he doesn't have as much money as she was told etc, in other words try and make the guy look like a fraud. Or tell her, he told you he has AIDS! I like this idea. I have an on going problem with young women here. I meet so many that want a relationship with me. They are all driving cars bought by other foreigners from past relationships or are deep in debt to set the standard they wish to be kept at. They always seem to want me to wine and dine them and take care of them . I always tell them I am poor and cannot take care of them to chase them away. When I get them to believe that most are gone. But some hang around to see if there is anything they can get anyways. Maybe with the real difficult ones I should try the AIDS scare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocturn Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Woman the world over scam men to get a house or half a pension or what ever the man has and they want. Would you tell a guy in your home country his fiance was just out to fleece him? I doubt not. You would just stand back and let it happen. And rationalize it with he knows the risks and rules so up to him. I take serious exception to your comment. My husband and I were together 28 years and always earned similar amounts (sometimes I earned more, sometimes he earned more). How DARE you suggest that I was 'scamming' my husband! I agree with the rest of your post though - its his problem, not yours and anyway, he won't believe you. i always enjoy it when you pull out that huge axe you have to grind. where in the above post did he make any reference to you or the loss of your husband which you belabour so heavily on this board every chance you get? The above post merely intimates that this phenomenon is NOT exclusive to Thailand -- that gold diggers exist in all cultures and countries. But hey, you are right, lets make this about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrfeild Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Woman the world over scam men to get a house or half a pension or what ever the man has and they want. Would you tell a guy in your home country his fiance was just out to fleece him? I doubt not. You would just stand back and let it happen. And rationalize it with he knows the risks and rules so up to him. I take serious exception to your comment. My husband and I were together 28 years and always earned similar amounts (sometimes I earned more, sometimes he earned more). How DARE you suggest that I was 'scamming' my husband! I agree with the rest of your post though - its his problem, not yours and anyway, he won't believe you. i always enjoy it when you pull out that huge axe you have to grind. where in the above post did he make any reference to you or the loss of your husband which you belabour so heavily on this board every chance you get? The above post merely intimates that this phenomenon is NOT exclusive to Thailand -- that gold diggers exist in all cultures and countries. But hey, you are right, lets make this about you. You know what they say, "If the cap fits wear it" Maybe she really does have something to hide in that regard? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meom Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 As an earlier poster said - why have anything to do with such a piece of sh1t in the first place. Personally, I would meet the guy, determine his character somewhat and try to ascertain the response you may get upon warning him. Sh1t and sh1t usually go together. Everybody seems to assume Mr Nice Guy is coming over but maybe he is a piece of sh1t as well and they deserve eachother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozsamurai Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 Tell him what happened to the last guy, anything else is just weakness. Talking about weakness, why are you even in contact with the ex-auntie? Like I said she is in contact with us NOT vise versa, short of changing the phone number and moving, she WAS family, still have neices nephews etc... sheesh. Anyway 'the mark' hasn't shown up yet, so I am still on the fence... Oz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JurgenG Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Two times I tried to help, two times I ended up being the bag guy. The first time the guy didn't believe me and his wife convinced him I was the scammer. It was for the building of his house, all the family got generous commissions for the job (poorly) done but he is still convinced he got the best possible deal because his in-laws were in charge. The second time it was for a land deal. From my first experience I avoided to give a direct advise, just general advises and a couple of hints so he could make an informed decision. He didn't listen and went ahead with the deal to realize 1 year later he has been cheated. And I'm one of the bad guy just for being "associated" with the scammers Now when people call because they want to introduce their new farang acquaintance to me, I take my car and disappear for the whole afternoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRS1 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) Get the email of the new one, pass it to the old one. I second this motion. Better yet tell him to hire a lawyer to search for previous marriage records before getting shackled.( I will never get married, there's no reason too) . Edited December 2, 2011 by KRS1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon43 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Buy him a stab-proof protective vest for his wedding present Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heimdallr Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I'd accidentally leave evidence around for him to find it out by himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scorpio Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Personally yes i would tell him, or find a way to let him know what this greedy beetch is like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWalkingMan Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Like I said before, send me the info with the guy's email and I will send it to him. You could set up one of those one-time anonymous emails, send me the info and I will punt it out to the guy. No problem. Remember, usually if a Thai person is doing the dirty on her non-Thai boyfriend/husband no one will say anything to the guy and watch him being played for a sucker. If the guy does the dirty then everyone in town is spilling their guts to the girl giving a blow by blow of his wanderings. Right or wrong, that is how the system seems to work in Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozsamurai Posted December 20, 2011 Author Share Posted December 20, 2011 Just as an update for those who follow through on these posts. The guy came over from the UK to meet intended wife already. We got the phone call soon after from the ex-aunty, "he's left!, he didn't like me", so sometimes things work out.... Ce La Vie! Oz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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