Asperger Child In Need Of Coaching

[manarak]

My son is 9 yo and has an asperger-type character.

He needs some coaching in order not to be left behind in school and in every day life.

The coach doesn't need to be a very talented psychologist, just a kind and patient person who understand how asperger personalities function.

What would be the best way to find such a coach?

Does anyone have experience with this type of situation?

[Scott]

A couple of questions. First, where are you located? Second, are you looking for a native speaker or will a non-native speaker be acceptable?

In my regular work, I come across a number of Filipino teaching applicants who have an education degree (most are licensed teachers) with specialization in Special education. They would probably be my first choice.

Do you have a prefeence for male or female and the amount of time per day/week would be helpful.

[Scott]

Sorry, but one more thing, what grade is he in and is his native language Thai or English?

[manarak]

Thank you Scott

At the moment, he's in 3rd grade in Switzerland, native tongue is German, but he speaks already a bit of French, Russian and English.

He would have to learn English of course, but I think that could be quick, about 6 months to 1 year (the presence of an English speaking coach would also greatly accelerate that learning).

He gets some coaching at school by a similar "special education" female person, but the coaching will stop because the government doesn't want to pay for it any more and I don't have the money to pay for the coaching at the rate of almost 100 USD an hour.

Area would be around Pattaya (Regent's - I know, I know...).

Right now, he got a female coach - I have personally no preference for the gender of the coach.

Since my wife and I are contemplating a move to Thailand, I want to learn about possibilities to get him a coach in Thailand and about the costs associated with it.

Currently he gets about 6 to 8 hours a week.

I have the feeling that he needs more coaching.

I estimate the needs to approx 2-3 hours a day, maybe 4.

First goal would be to get him to be able to work independently and to concentrate on his daily tasks, make mental checklists, forward thinking, etc.

Then there are of course also the social aspects, learning how to interact with people, not to believe everything that is being told, not to understand things literally and not be angry on others when they tell little lies.

Edited December 22, 2011 by manarak

[Scott]

You may want to look for a Filipino teacher, maybe someone with a certification in Special Education. There are a number of well qualified teachers around and it shouldn't cost you a lot of money to hire one.

They make for a rather good blend of Western and Asian culture.

Best of luck.

[manarak]

You may want to look for a Filipino teacher, maybe someone with a certification in Special Education. There are a number of well qualified teachers around and it shouldn't cost you a lot of money to hire one.

They make for a rather good blend of Western and Asian culture.

Best of luck.

Thank you - the PI teachers could certainly be interesting, that's a good idea.

[thaiclan]

I'd recommend advertising on ajarn (.com). I recently posted an ad for homeschool tutors and received dozens of resumes.

As already advised/suggested a Filipino is a good option as they are well educated but more importantly are a very patient and even-tempered culture (the ones I have hired here and in Singapore anyway).

Also they really want to work and thus are reliable which I would assume is paramount if a trusted bond is to develop between your son and his coach.

The biggest downside I have encountered is that Filipino's on average do not ride motorbikes and so travelling out of town (Regent's area) can pose a problem. I ended up including pick up and drop off onto Sukhumvit for our tutors.

Good Luck :-)

[theblether]

My 17 year old daughter has aspergers, I recognize what your saying. In my case I sussed out there was something wrong when she was 5, however she was a high achiever at school and greatly loved by her teachers. I spent the next 2 years coaching her ( totally by accident may I say ) and there was a great change in her demeanour by the age of 7, at which point I separated from the ex-wife and all the work was more than undone.

To cut a long story short, my daughter was not diagnosed with Aspergers until the age of 14, she is high level, so she can attend school etc and she has two of the extraordinary abilities that can come with Aspergers, she can pick up subjects very quickly, and she is an exceptional artist, ( she has just been recognized at Scottish government level and her first major work goes on exhibition this month ).

Socialization was the biggest problem for her, as you know Asperger kids take things too literal and are not able to pick up on the nuances of social behaviour. The problem for my daughter was that she was cossetted by her grandmother for years after the seperation and that was the worst thing possible. A serious fight broke out within the family after the diagnosis with me leading the charge to get her out and about with other kids. If it had been left to the Grandmother she would have cossetted her even more and effectively treated her like an invalid. I won the fight, we had turmoils for a couple of years as she was just not able to understand that you don't tell secrets that your friends tell you etc

My daughter can function well enough now, she has a small group of friends that take her as she is. She can be compulsive, obsessive and can over-work too, I've seen her working for 14 hours straight on an art project, getting it looking fantastic to my eyes, then ripping it up and starting again.

If I had my time again I would not have allowed my daughter to be cossetted, that was the worst possible thing for her. She needed to be in amongst other kids as much as possible, while keeping an eye on her to make sure she wasn't being overwhelmed. To me ( of course only in my experience ) socialization is the key. So I would be looking to get your son in amongst other kids as much as possible ( accepting the fact that you know his capabilities ).

Incidentally, going back to me saying that I accidentally coached my daughter, a lot of what I did was just commonsense, I had no idea she had Aspergers at the time, in fact I'd never heard of it. The one tool that helped me enormously with her was Chess, I used to sit with her every night and play Chess with her, and she would often go mad at losing her pieces, especially the Knight. I took the time to talk to her and explain things to her via the Chess board, about relationships, sacrifice for the greater good etc

Years later she recalls all that and she tells me that she loved it, she could see things in a logical way on a board in front of her.......the only problem for me was that she started getting too good and she beat me on a regular basis and that drove me mad!!!!

[manarak]

Thank you for the advice.

theblether, your daughter seems to be twice exceptional

http://en.wikipedia....ice_exceptional

where Asperger's is associated with high IQ.

Asperger's can take many forms and not all have an artistic side, but real talents are very common, and all are introverted with difficult social interaction and deficits in communication.

Twice exceptional people can compensate thanks to their high IQ which allows them to mimic normal behavior so well that their Asperger's can remain hidden even to persons with whom they are interacting every day. But it remains a facade. Their Asperger Character cannot be changed (and much less 'cured').

I know what I am writing about, since I'm also one of the cursed-blessed with Asperger's.

I think Asperger's and especially being twice exceptional is not a disability, it is a form of personality.

Twice exceptional persons can do great things if they do not become victims of the pitfalls, i.e. indifference, social isolation, laziness and finally ending up as an outcast loser.

To avoid the above, coaching is important.

Helping the 2e child to be successful

Their strengths are the key to success for twice-exceptional children. They thrive on intellectual challenges in their areas of interest and ability. Many 2e children do best when given work that engages multiple senses and offers opportunities for hands-on learning. However, a requirement for success for these students is support, either given informally as needed or formalized in an Individualized Education Program (IEP) or 504 plan.

Support can come in several forms. An essential form is encouragement; others include compensation strategies and accommodations in the child’s areas of weakness. For example, 2e students may benefit from learning time-management skills and organizational techniques; and they may need to have extra time on tests and reduced homework.

P.S.

sadly, when I was a child, there was no awareness among teachers for this kind of special educational needs - so I stumbled through studies and MBA, always working just enough to pass, always doing what I felt was expected from me, taking a career path that I thought was interesting, unfortunately, the people weren't.

I discovered what "was wrong with me" at the age of 35 only, it changed my life completely.

Edited January 1, 2012 by manarak

[theblether]

Thank you for the advice.

theblether, your daughter seems to be twice exceptional

http://en.wikipedia....ice_exceptional

where Asperger's is associated with high IQ.

Asperger's can take many forms and not all have an artistic side, but real talents are very common, and all are introverted with difficult social interaction and deficits in communication.

Twice exceptional people can compensate thanks to their high IQ which allows them to mimic normal behavior so well that their Asperger's can remain hidden even to persons with whom they are interacting every day. But it remains a facade. Their Asperger Character cannot be changed (and much less 'cured').

I know what I am writing about, since I'm also one of the cursed-blessed with Asperger's.

I think Asperger's and especially being twice exceptional is not a disability, it is a form of personality.

Twice exceptional persons can do great things if they do not become victims of the pitfalls, i.e. indifference, social isolation, laziness and finally ending up as an outcast loser.

To avoid the above, coaching is important.

Helping the 2e child to be successful

Their strengths are the key to success for twice-exceptional children. They thrive on intellectual challenges in their areas of interest and ability. Many 2e children do best when given work that engages multiple senses and offers opportunities for hands-on learning. However, a requirement for success for these students is support, either given informally as needed or formalized in an Individualized Education Program (IEP) or 504 plan.

Support can come in several forms. An essential form is encouragement; others include compensation strategies and accommodations in the child’s areas of weakness. For example, 2e students may benefit from learning time-management skills and organizational techniques; and they may need to have extra time on tests and reduced homework.

P.S.

sadly, when I was a child, there was no awareness among teachers for this kind of special educational needs - so I stumbled through studies and MBA, always working just enough to pass, always doing what I felt was expected from me, taking a career path that I thought was interesting, unfortunately, the people weren't.

I discovered what "was wrong with me" at the age of 35 only, it changed my life completely.

Very interesting and I agree wholeheartedly with what you are saying, the isolation issue was one that I once feared however I think she is starting to develop strong bonds with a small group of friends, however the majority are moving on to University education soon and I am concerned about her reaction to that.

I hope all works out for you and your son.

regards

theblether

[manarak]

You may want to look for a Filipino teacher, maybe someone with a certification in Special Education. There are a number of well qualified teachers around and it shouldn't cost you a lot of money to hire one.

They make for a rather good blend of Western and Asian culture.

Best of luck.

Hi Scott

How/where can I get in touch with Philippino teachers?

Thank you in advance!

[Scott]

I am not sure what the best way to get in touch with an appropriate teacher is. There are a number of sites such as ajarn.com that have resumes. You can also place ads on them (there is a method for free ads there as well, I believe). You could also place an advert in a local paper where you would be living.

You are looking for someone with rather specific talents, so I would suggest that you make sure they are a licensed, certified teacher from the Philippines. You probably want someone with special education background. There is a problem with fake credentials from applicants from PI, but the licensing and certification process is rather fool proof. There is an official Philippines web site where you can verify that the person has passed the licensure examination.

[manarak]

I am not sure what the best way to get in touch with an appropriate teacher is. There are a number of sites such as ajarn.com that have resumes. You can also place ads on them (there is a method for free ads there as well, I believe). You could also place an advert in a local paper where you would be living.

You are looking for someone with rather specific talents, so I would suggest that you make sure they are a licensed, certified teacher from the Philippines. You probably want someone with special education background. There is a problem with fake credentials from applicants from PI, but the licensing and certification process is rather fool proof. There is an official Philippines web site where you can verify that the person has passed the licensure examination.

Very interesting info, thank you!

Ajarnforum.net: I posted an ad there to find an English teacher, but so far I got no replies, which I think is very odd.

Edited March 21, 2012 by manarak