Big Big Problem In Little Thailand

[Scully]

First of all I have posted many times on this forum but my elephant has stopped jumping?(avatar)

Anyway I have a farm in rural Issan not holding too much stock 3 pregnant sows (all pregnant) and 11 growers around the 50 kilo mark.

The problem being I paid for all the animals yet now me and the missus are splitting up. I cannot legally be a pig farmer but want rid of the animals and run.

What are my rights I paid for the pigs and food and should? be able to find a buyer. This is not going to be a one trip journey so what if the police are called?

Do I contact them first and let them know I don't work the farm but have paid for the stock and pay a wage, even though all the locals see me grafting.

The farm has been paid for by myself but we broke even and this will be profit, p.s. I also paid for the house but with no paperwork so cheap land (house + 2 rai 250000baht).

This girl now has a house after four years of doing pig farming about 16 hours a week work with me being in Thailand for 8 months of the year, however my father died and I had to go home early and have returned and found out she is actively seeking another man. She does not know that I know about her shenanigans and I also support her family.

I am only 38 and need help, I would be grateful for any replies. Believe me butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

[WatersEdge]

Hi Scully,

Too many variables for anyone outside to predict the outcome.

Call the Buyer and tell him to come load your pigs.

Put the money in your pocket and see if anyone is able to take it out.

If you leave the pigs there, you will lose the value.

If you keep the money after selling them, you will gain the value

The maybe factor is in your favor.

If the Police come, to prevent you from recovering your own money,

nothing really lost.

The default setting is to lose the value.

Another post for the Sob Stories thread

which last I looked was many pages extended.

For all those out there considering the future,

Listen to Scully...he's the present case of a thousand others just like him.

[jamescollister]

Knew when came that if things went bad, the best I could hope for was to walk away with my back pack and my life. Have 2 kids now and if I was in OZ I would keep my life, but would pay forever.

Walk away and start again, it's not worth the problems. Best of luck and sorry to hear it didn't work. Jim

[ludditeman]

She worked hard for the money, be generous, let her keep it.

[sezze]

Are you married or not ? And i mean officially .

If you are not married , then this is easy . Walk away . You cannot be a farmer and you cannot own land . The pigs have no name on them , maybe the house has , but i would still be extremely difficult to get something back .

When you are married and you set up everything after marriage , then the rules change and you have a chance to recoup something . The rules there are that everthing b4 marriage is from the partners and after it is split . Since you cannot be farmer and cannot own land , it would still be difficcult but there are chances .

Unless you can work something out with your ex , i'd say you lose everything .

In my village , ad i guess all over Thailand , pigs are traded at ever single age or weight . Meaning you can sell at any given time and somebody would buy at a agreed price . If your ex agrees , then this is done within a few days . If she does not agree , things are not easy , and you would have to face a shitload of problems ( even stealing charges since it is her land/farm/pigs ) .

A sad story , but you are not alone , plenty of others around with same problems ( maybe not many with pigs but in general ) .

[Scully]

Thanks for the replies apart from the one where she worked hard let her have it. I came back to a @$%^ pit. I have worked for four months clearing overgrown weeds (in winter with no rain) it is now 2 rai of soil. I restocked the pond because they ate the 1000 fish I wanted to grow to full size but no they take four and eat profit. I left with 60 chickens and many chicks, return to none as half a kilo of rice was too expensive to keep them.

I am 38 she is 32 and she has lived in the UK with me but as soon as the house was paid for it all changed. You read stories of OH mine is different, that's what I thought, she would go shopping with my mum and make sure mum carried nothing etc etc.

Beware I chose a girl who was not in the sex industry,no tattoos she wouldn't even shout across the street as it's "not a nice thing to do". Stunned absolutely stunned.

[ludditeman]

I am 38 she is 32 and she has lived in the UK with me but as soon as the house was paid for it all changed. You read stories of OH mine is different, that's what I thought, she would go shopping with my mum and make sure mum carried nothing etc etc.

Another poster once posted "Every girl I ever lived with was different, until the day I discovered she was the same as all the previous girls"

Life is too short to plot and plan on recouping losses (real or imaginary), let her keep it, and you will feel much better a short time later.

Edited January 19, 2012 by ludditeman

[Pond Life]

Grab everything you can & walk away, much less pain in the long run.

[Crossy]

Can't help on the farming stuff, but to make Jumbo jump again simply re-upload your avatar

Instructions here

[Scoop1]

Hi, Scully, very sorry to hear that news, i hope all goes well for you in the future, i am coming to thailand in march to live with my gf and i will have to be very careful with what i might spend money on.

Good Luck

Scoop1

[nitecm]

Thanks for the replies apart from the one where she worked hard let her have it. I came back to a @$%^ pit. I have worked for four months clearing overgrown weeds (in winter with no rain) it is now 2 rai of soil. I restocked the pond because they ate the 1000 fish I wanted to grow to full size but no they take four and eat profit. I left with 60 chickens and many chicks, return to none as half a kilo of rice was too expensive to keep them.

I am 38 she is 32 and she has lived in the UK with me but as soon as the house was paid for it all changed. You read stories of OH mine is different, that's what I thought, she would go shopping with my mum and make sure mum carried nothing etc etc.

Beware I chose a girl who was not in the sex industry,no tattoos she wouldn't even shout across the street as it's "not a nice thing to do". Stunned absolutely stunned.

Forget the past .You can get a better one any time .

Grab all you can and move away .If you are not established there then don,t argue with then .

[sezze]

Hi, Scully, very sorry to hear that news, i hope all goes well for you in the future, i am coming to thailand in march to live with my gf and i will have to be very careful with what i might spend money on.

Good Luck

Scoop1

Every relationship needs work and sometimes you need to move ahead instead of fearing all the time . Relationships break up everywhere around the world , and even more in mixed couples ( different backgrounds , language , habits ... ) . Be careful is wise , but being too careful can make a relationship break . I'm not saying a story like this won't happen to me , or to anyone else , but only resisting every kind of investment for the future is not good either . Every relationship is different and so is every person . I hope that Scully realises this and it is not bound to every girl or relationship in Thailand . Sadly enough these things happen , and money wise , the farang is always the loser . Consider a relationship in the western world where many times , when the marriage is over , the man still has to pay for its broken up marriage .

For Scully , swallow your losses , financially and mentally and move along as fast as possible ... there is hope further down the road .

[randysavage]

many a man has had dreams of starting a life with his thai partner and most think they have found the perfect girl many claim there girl never worked in a bar. The biggest problem facing a thai falang relationship is the cultural difference, i have myself been married for over 11 years to a thai lady from a village just outside of korat we have 2 loverly girls aged 4 and 9 our relationship is allways up and down.

my wife wants to live in thailand and plans to go back in december with the kids, i have thought about working and investing in the farm there but i cant see it working out i also thought about working four months in england then a month in thailand so on so on but even then i dont know if it will work, what im thinking of doing is either buy a bar and run it myself either in hua hin or pattaya or nong khai let the wife run the farm with her dad using her own money [fat chance] or just washing my hands of her and go back to that beer loving pattaya freak i used to be before i met the wife. i have many friends in england who have a thai mrs and no matter who you ask rich or poor they all agree one thing thai women are hard ucking work financialy and emotionaly ,, im lucky in one respect my wife is house proud and keeps the house tidy but some of my mates thai wives are just plain lazy and there house looks like a bad day in bosnia, so my advice to you my friend is if you have no kids just dump the wife sell the pigs if you can and go out and enjoy yourself if you feel youve been duped then join a club thats bigger than the masons.

i do not mean to paint all thai women with the same brush there are some really nice thai ladies out there

and hard working ones at that, what im trying to explain is the cultural differance food, religion, the thai family allways coming first

AMAZING THAILAND

Edited January 20, 2012 by randysavage

[sirchai]

Thanks for the replies apart from the one where she worked hard let her have it. I came back to a @$%^ pit. I have worked for four months clearing overgrown weeds (in winter with no rain) it is now 2 rai of soil. I restocked the pond because they ate the 1000 fish I wanted to grow to full size but no they take four and eat profit. I left with 60 chickens and many chicks, return to none as half a kilo of rice was too expensive to keep them.

I am 38 she is 32 and she has lived in the UK with me but as soon as the house was paid for it all changed. You read stories of OH mine is different, that's what I thought, she would go shopping with my mum and make sure mum carried nothing etc etc.

Beware I chose a girl who was not in the sex industry,no tattoos she wouldn't even shout across the street as it's "not a nice thing to do". Stunned absolutely stunned.

Scully, may i ask you how old you are?

Your points are so ridiculous about your pigs, chickens and chicks. You should know now that girls don't have to have Tattoos to identify them as bar girls, or other sex workers. It seems to me that you're staying in the northeast, so please read my story:

I moved to this country ten years ago, well I guess I wasn't that naive as you obviously are.I used to live one year in my wife's village trying to understand this country better. Women were offering me money to find a "foreign husband" for her, offering me 50,000 baht.

They usually hang a Buddha around their neck, send them to a tourist destination and are aware that all they can sell is their Pu..aeeh body.

Some of them do come back being married to a foreigner, some even send money every month to support her, not knowing of her kids and her Thai gig.

You were right, you can't be a legal pig farmer in this country, but if you're thinking to sell the pigs, take the money and run you might be seriously wrong.

You could have an "accident" and some of your pigs will be slaughtered after your death to make a Tamboon for you. It's really time for you to wake up to realize that Thai women aren't that far away from other nationalities.

If your woman isn't a bar girl and you could communicate with her, so where did she learn English first hand? At school? I pretty much doubt it.

About your elephant in your "Avatar', I'd reckon to get in touch with an International organization to get your Chang back where it was.

In addition I'll have to tell you that some more Thais now might think that all foreigners do have a mental problem. Why don't you just go back to your country of origin, get some education and come back later........

[mrdome]

Shouln't this have been called

"Big Pig Problem In Little Thailand"

Sorry, couldn't resist...

"...as soon as the house was paid for it all changed..." Unfortunately, it does and this sushi belt of a pattern keeps coming round & round again & again & again & again...

Yet, who will head the warnings when love has blinded. Hopefully, someone can influence the happy groom to limit the damage in future cases, somewhat. In the end, we all have to make our mistakes and make the bed we lie in. It's all a part of living. Chok dee, krap.

Edited January 22, 2012 by mrdome

[Tanaka]

Scully, did you take out a usufruct contract on the land? I do not suppose you did, you would have been aware of what it stipulates. It is not quite accurate as some posters have said that you cannot be a farmer or work the land here. If you have a usufruct, you can. And then the pigs and other animals would also be yours to dispose of or whatever you wanted.

But if no usufruct, I think you are unprotected and have no claims. Unless you are officially married and the land and animals were acquired after marriage.

[jamescollister]

Scully, did you take out a usufruct contract on the land? I do not suppose you did, you would have been aware of what it stipulates. It is not quite accurate as some posters have said that you cannot be a farmer or work the land here. If you have a usufruct, you can. And then the pigs and other animals would also be yours to dispose of or whatever you wanted.

But if no usufruct, I think you are unprotected and have no claims. Unless you are officially married and the land and animals were acquired after marriage.

Where did you get that from, usufruct is a type of life lease it gives no right to farm our work. Jim

[maprao]

If you can afford it walk away......Then go to a well known sister site Pattaya addicts and ask the same advice there and follow the instructions carefully. All the advice there will be good for your recovery!

I have been based in LOS for 11 years ...we both live and work overseas...I am happy settled....but my girl is different and it won't happen to me is not in my vocab. If it does happen to me the I will become a permanent mon**r lol

Good luck ....

Edited January 22, 2012 by maprao

[sezze]

Scully, did you take out a usufruct contract on the land? I do not suppose you did, you would have been aware of what it stipulates. It is not quite accurate as some posters have said that you cannot be a farmer or work the land here. If you have a usufruct, you can. And then the pigs and other animals would also be yours to dispose of or whatever you wanted.

But if no usufruct, I think you are unprotected and have no claims. Unless you are officially married and the land and animals were acquired after marriage.

Where did you get that from, usufruct is a type of life lease it gives no right to farm our work. Jim

Yes , you cannot farm whatever construction you have does not matter . If you are married , you only have the rights on the pigs , on the land you have nothing ( maybe half of the value but i've yet too hear from somebody to get something like that ) .

Unless you have a large amount of pigs ... why bother . You'll be heading for a dangerous road with more problems then you can imagine . It is sad and it is a loss . Try to settle something with her and walk away , it is the best , easiest and safest ... doesn't matter who's fault the breakup is ( there is always 2 sides of the story ) .

[Isee]

Its simple - tell her you need to sell the current pigs etc to help you fund the purchase of something more expensive (you would be best to know what she will go for). New and more expenses pigs, cows - whatever, so long as she thinks she'll be getting it. Work out roughly what you can sell for now so you get your figures right to work out to be double the price.

As you haven't revealed that you know anything, she won't be suspicious. Even if things are frayed now - you can still sell it by saying you want to start things anew and this is the best opportunity with new livestock that will make even more money (introduce a farang connection if need be so they can't check - supplier of pork to Western hotels who only use a special breed of pig etc but pay double price). She'll happily agree as she will think she is going to end up with more $$ and will be more keen then you to see them going out the front gate. Once you get the $$, you can come up with any number of excuses concerning the delay of whatever it was you were going to purchase and choose your time to exit. The house etc are gone and not worth fighting for at 250K - no reason for her to get everything though. The key is to keep things cool and calculated.

[randysavage]

just cut your losses and run and remember what goes round. Dont be heart broken learn from this and move on theres plenty more fish in the sea and when you catch the right one youll know all the tricks if she trys it on. Good luck mate

[drtreelove]

Shouln't this have been called

"Big Pig Problem In Little Thailand"

And the forum could be called 'Farming and Relationships in Thailand'. The challenges are often completely integrated. In my opinion the farming is the easy part.

[andycrosby]

Sorry are all you lot soft in the head, give sweet FA , I never go down without a fight at least poison all the pigs and bone her younger sister, or her best friend.. You will then feel much better

[JurgenG]

i'm really sorry for what happen to you. You haven't post for a while, have you found a solution to your problem ?

From what you said, it's clear that the "farm" can't run without you. There was nothing before you arrive and after you left your gf wasn't able to maintain the same standard or stop her relatives to steal (I can't find a better word) your livestock. You said you've been away for long, how long ? Have you maintain regular contact with your gf and gave her a clear date for your return ? If I want to play the devil advocate, I would say that if your gf realizes she can't manage the farm by herself and has no clear date for your return, maybe not even sure you will come back, it's understandable she's looking for a new "manager" for her farm.

I say that because if you split, you will probably lose everything. It cost nothing to make sure that all that is not based on a misunderstanding.

[Pseudolus]

Night time manoeuvres - find a buyer amongst the lads on here and agree a cut price price. Give her a bottle or two of whisky so she gets smashed, and in the wee early hours, load em up and then leave the gate open, take the cash and hide it, and then accuse her of being drunk and opening the gate and they all ran away.

Or, hire a truck, chuck everything you can into it and hit the road.

[alllyn]

You have heard the common theme here, Run, don't walk away. You are hearing from people that know of what they speak. You are in her country do you think you will win? This will warp your mind, trying to get what you think you deserve. The best you can do is to get your life together as quickly as you can. The worst you could do is keep trying to deal with her in anyway.

I was getting a divorce not even a bad one. We had a shared house and some cars. It was dragging on, a good friend said," give it all to her." I did it was the best possible move all kinds of new things opened up for me. Clear your head and fly away. Create something good.

Good Luck,

Craig

[sezze]

i'm really sorry for what happen to you. You haven't post for a while, have you found a solution to your problem ?

From what you said, it's clear that the "farm" can't run without you. There was nothing before you arrive and after you left your gf wasn't able to maintain the same standard or stop her relatives to steal (I can't find a better word) your livestock. You said you've been away for long, how long ? Have you maintain regular contact with your gf and gave her a clear date for your return ? If I want to play the devil advocate, I would say that if your gf realizes she can't manage the farm by herself and has no clear date for your return, maybe not even sure you will come back, it's understandable she's looking for a new "manager" for her farm.

I say that because if you split, you will probably lose everything. It cost nothing to make sure that all that is not based on a misunderstanding.

That's exactly why i stated before , there are always 2 sides of the story . How many times i've witnessed breakup supposed to be all the fault of the Thai girl , while in fact many times , the guys could not keep his pants on with other girls , or rather drinks all night etc etc . I'm not saying that a case where the Thai girl is real bad does not happen ... i'm only saying that there are 2 sides of the story and we heard only a short version of the farang side .

All of us say ... work it out or lose everything ... there are not a lot of ways in the middle .

[IsaanAussie]

Scully,

Sorry to hear of your problem. Not that I can draw any direct comparisons to your situation but I do have a lazy set of relatives here and could imagine the condition of my sty operation without me here would be much the same as you encountered upon return. Unfortunately it is all too common here especially in labour intensive, repeditive situations. When the cat is away as they say. You are the only one who can decide which way to go if the situation is not reconcillable and I wish you well. Personally, I would be concentrating on the relationship with your wife first. Many of my plans have been delayed or stymied by those around us and luckily my wife and I have managed to maintain our relationship. That doesnt mean I don't get angry or sit under a tree and say Mai Pen Rai in true Thai style. Put whatever means most to you as your priority.

IA

[grimleybob]

Scully,

Sorry to hear of your problem. Not that I can draw any direct comparisons to your situation but I do have a lazy set of relatives here and could imagine the condition of my sty operation without me here would be much the same as you encountered upon return. Unfortunately it is all too common here especially in labour intensive, repeditive situations. When the cat is away as they say. You are the only one who can decide which way to go if the situation is not reconcillable and I wish you well. Personally, I would be concentrating on the relationship with your wife first. Many of my plans have been delayed or stymied by those around us and luckily my wife and I have managed to maintain our relationship. That doesnt mean I don't get angry or sit under a tree and say Mai Pen Rai in true Thai style. Put whatever means most to you as your priority.

IA

Wise words as usual from the Sage of Sisaket

[RedBullHorn]

Thanks for the replies apart from the one where she worked hard let her have it. I came back to a @$%^ pit. I have worked for four months clearing overgrown weeds (in winter with no rain) it is now 2 rai of soil. I restocked the pond because they ate the 1000 fish I wanted to grow to full size but no they take four and eat profit. I left with 60 chickens and many chicks, return to none as half a kilo of rice was too expensive to keep them.

I am 38 she is 32 and she has lived in the UK with me but as soon as the house was paid for it all changed. You read stories of OH mine is different, that's what I thought, she would go shopping with my mum and make sure mum carried nothing etc etc.

Beware I chose a girl who was not in the sex industry,no tattoos she wouldn't even shout across the street as it's "not a nice thing to do". Stunned absolutely stunned.

Scully, may i ask you how old you are?

Your points are so ridiculous about your pigs, chickens and chicks. You should know now that girls don't have to have Tattoos to identify them as bar girls, or other sex workers. It seems to me that you're staying in the northeast, so please read my story:

I moved to this country ten years ago, well I guess I wasn't that naive as you obviously are.I used to live one year in my wife's village trying to understand this country better. Women were offering me money to find a "foreign husband" for her, offering me 50,000 baht.

They usually hang a Buddha around their neck, send them to a tourist destination and are aware that all they can sell is their Pu..aeeh body.

Some of them do come back being married to a foreigner, some even send money every month to support her, not knowing of her kids and her Thai gig.

You were right, you can't be a legal pig farmer in this country, but if you're thinking to sell the pigs, take the money and run you might be seriously wrong.

You could have an "accident" and some of your pigs will be slaughtered after your death to make a Tamboon for you. It's really time for you to wake up to realize that Thai women aren't that far away from other nationalities.

If your woman isn't a bar girl and you could communicate with her, so where did she learn English first hand? At school? I pretty much doubt it.

About your elephant in your "Avatar', I'd reckon to get in touch with an International organization to get your Chang back where it was.

In addition I'll have to tell you that some more Thais now might think that all foreigners do have a mental problem. Why don't you just go back to your country of origin, get some education and come back later........

Either you're blind or ............ OP posted he's 38 and she's 32. I think you should learn the analytic mind from poster #20 or shut your gap if you've nothing better to say.

Where's the DISLIKE button when i needed it ~