Ex-Gf (British) Abandons My British Daughter With Me In Thailand

[silentnine]

all of a sudden she has now started calling everyday .

i suspect she has had her tax credit renewal forms so now she is thinking of the money

[Bangkokhatter]

so she is back in contact and all you mention is tax credits....no mention of what she has said to her daughter etc...you have not mentioned anything about sorting out the situation regards custody etc... seems you just want to let us all know what a bad woman she is, sorry but there's enough posters here already moaning about bad ladies

[silentnine]

so she is back in contact and all you mention is tax credits....no mention of what she has said to her daughter etc...you have not mentioned anything about sorting out the situation regards custody etc... seems you just want to let us all know what a bad woman she is, sorry but there's enough posters here already moaning about bad ladies

well thanks ...

as far as what was said between them .. lots of grunts, groans, barking dog immitaions, not a lot else ,, and i'm not joking ! not really a lot of any relavence.

as far as sorting anything out .. the only reply i got to 20 questions was a reply of 'don't be like that'

its now more of a matter of finding out if there is no custody arrangment in place and i am concerned about sending her back to the uk, can i keep her here or is it kidnaping,.. at least for the time being until i could see she was able to offer a stable enviroment

[theblether]

OK....I've just read all of the replies and I am a UK national with a little knowledge of the law.

First of all, your financial concerns about your ex are nothing to do with you. Drop the subject, you're wasting your time.

The Childrens Act comes into play here, your ex can make a plausible case that she has been a good parent as she has allowed your daughter to visit you for a considerable period of time.

The child must be returned to the UK in a timely fashion, do not take the risk of having a court order made against you for abduction in any sense. Your ex will find it relatively easy to get a court order if you refuse to return the child.

The court will give you effectively no leeway on this matter, the UK is probably the strictest country in the world in this regard.

You need to sift through all of the irrelevant flannel and get to the root of this problem. Does your ex want the child or not? If she says yes, then you will have to accept that, end of story.

You will find it well nigh impossible to get the court to agree to vary custody in your favour. The only way you will be able to effect change if is the child is subject to potential harm by your ex.......the threshold to prove this is very high.

The court will only listen to issues of child welfare, they are not interested in your ex reneging on sending you money. They will not consider that to be of sufficient import in the overall picture.

They will see a mother who is prepared to allow the daughter to travel overseas, to visit her father, and to have a right to family life with the father. You will find it difficult to undo that view.

This does not understate your rightful distress about the current situation, and the emotional distress being felt by your child. However you should count yourself lucky for what you do have, there are many men who would not believe their luck in having their child for such a long stay in Thailand. In fact most men would count themselves lucky to ever see their child being allowed to visit Thailand.

Go take a long hard look at this, my advice for you is to keep the boat steady, be thankful for what you have, and don't cause a fire storm through anger. The chips are weighted heavily against you, I suggest you make sure that your daughter is very secure in her relationship with you and avoid condemning her mother, all you will do is confuse her no end.

If it ends up over the course of the next few years that your relationship is confined to these relatively lengthy stays then be thankful for that.

Sorry for being abrupt, but if you got into a UK lawyers office you would be told effectively the same thing.

ps Whatever you do don't contact the police, you will lose heavily by doing that. If you give your ex an indicator that you are attempting to keep the child in Thailand you will find the courts ordering her back forthwith, and you will have to rely upon the goodwill of the mother to ever see her in Thailand again.

Edited March 15, 2012 by theblether

[silentnine]

OK....I've just read all of the replies and I am a UK national with a little knowledge of the law.

First of all, your financial concerns about your ex are nothing to do with you. Drop the subject, you're wasting your time.

The Childrens Act comes into play here, your ex can make a plausible case that she has been a good parent as she has allowed your daughter to visit you for a considerable period of time.

The child must be returned to the UK in a timely fashion, do not take the risk of having a court order made against you for abduction in any sense. Your ex will find it relatively easy to get a court order if you refuse to return the child.

The court will give you effectively no leeway on this matter, the UK is probably the strictest country in the world in this regard.

You need to sift through all of the irrelevant flannel and get to the root of this problem. Does your ex want the child or not? If she says yes, then you will have to accept that, end of story.

You will find it well nigh impossible to get the court to agree to vary custody in your favour. The only way you will be able to effect change if is the child is subject to potential harm by your ex.......the threshold to prove this is very high.

The court will only listen to issues of child welfare, they are not interested in your ex reneging on sending you money. They will not consider that to be of sufficient import in the overall picture.

They will see a mother who is prepared to allow the daughter to travel overseas, to visit her father, and to have a right to family life with the father. You will find it difficult to undo that view.

This does not understate your rightful distress about the current situation, and the emotional distress being felt by your child. However you should count yourself lucky for what you do have, there are many men who would not believe their luck in having their child for such a long stay in Thailand. In fact most men would count themselves lucky to ever see their child being allowed to visit Thailand.

Go take a long hard look at this, my advice for you is to keep the boat steady, be thankful for what you have, and don't cause a fire storm through anger. The chips are weighted heavily against you, I suggest you make sure that your daughter is very secure in her relationship with you and avoid condemning her mother, all you will do is confuse her no end.

If it ends up over the course of the next few years that your relationship is confined to these relatively lengthy stays then be thankful for that.

Sorry for being abrupt, but if you got into a UK lawyers office you would be told effectively the same thing.

ps Whatever you do don't contact the police, you will lose heavily by doing that. If you give your ex an indicator that you are attempting to keep the child in Thailand you will find the courts ordering her back forthwith, and you will have to rely upon the goodwill of the mother to ever see her in Thailand again.

good reply old chap with total relavance .. many thanks

[evadgib]

Useful link: www.fnf.org.uk